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Jordan Washington chats with Bobby for Burnt Ends ×

do you ever yearn?

Kel Varnsen

By Kel Varnsen
in Movies and TV

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Biff Tannen
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They really should be using a medical dictionary

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Here's the second clip (aside from that shitty 80's show I posted awhile back) of Julia in a cute cheerleader outfit.  Sadly, the skirt is way too long.  

And what would you say if I told you I have vintage footage of a saucy Teri Garr & Julia Louis-Dreyfus in cheerleader outfits?  Well, the sketch is neither sexy nor funny.  Though there is an ass-shot at 1:56, it offers some hope.  so here it is.  From 1983 SNL's cold open...

 

 

I know deep down inside, Julia yearns for me.  That is why I press on...

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Biff Tannen

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10 hours ago, futureman said:

you were in the army?

Briefly. 
 

And here’s someone on Reddit that spent way too much time thinking about it. 
 

Spoiler

If Kramer were a retired officer or high-ranking NCO, especially with some kind of disability payment, it would be more than enough money to live on in Manhattan. This would explain why he doesn't need a regular job. It would also explain his erratic behaviour, if he was suffering from PTSD or a traumatic brain injury. Additionally, Kramer refers to apparantly good friends that we never see, such as Bob Sacamano, Jay Riemanschnieder, Lomez, etc. These friends sound as crazy as Kramer, so it is possible that Kramer and his unseen friends were all in the service together, possibly even on a SEAL or SF team, and he just prefers to keep that circle of friends separate from his "normal" friends. Kramer even lets slip that Sacamano was in a mental institution for a while. Mabye for PTSD...?? 

Kramer is definitely old enough to have served in Vietnam. Going by Michael Richards' real age, he would have turned 18 in 1967. However, in the episode "The Outing," Jerry says that Kramer is in his late 30's. "The Outing" takes place in 1993, and if we take "late 30's" to mean between 37 and 39, that would put Kramer's birth date between 1954 and 1956. That would mean he turned 18 between 1972 and 1974. According to my admittedly brief research, the last Navy SEAL left Vietnam in 1973, while the Green Berets continued to operate in the area up until 1975. It's entirely possible that Jerry was exaggerating, though, since Kramer does not look like he's in his late 30's in that episode. Either way it's still possible for him to have served in Vietnam. 

We know virtually nothing about Kramer's past, and he is old enough at the start of the show, so a distinguished albeit turbulent military career is not out of the question. Even if he did not serve a full 20 years, which makes sense considering his age and the timeline of the show, he still could have gotten a medical retirement if his injuries were severe enough, and disability payments would also add to that. 

EDIT: I just realized that in the episode "The Strong Box" Kramer says he was "briefly" in the Army, but refuses to tell anyone anything else about it.

 

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futureman

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1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Briefly. 
 

And here’s someone on Reddit that spent way too much time thinking about it. 
 

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If Kramer were a retired officer or high-ranking NCO, especially with some kind of disability payment, it would be more than enough money to live on in Manhattan. This would explain why he doesn't need a regular job. It would also explain his erratic behaviour, if he was suffering from PTSD or a traumatic brain injury. Additionally, Kramer refers to apparantly good friends that we never see, such as Bob Sacamano, Jay Riemanschnieder, Lomez, etc. These friends sound as crazy as Kramer, so it is possible that Kramer and his unseen friends were all in the service together, possibly even on a SEAL or SF team, and he just prefers to keep that circle of friends separate from his "normal" friends. Kramer even lets slip that Sacamano was in a mental institution for a while. Mabye for PTSD...?? 

Kramer is definitely old enough to have served in Vietnam. Going by Michael Richards' real age, he would have turned 18 in 1967. However, in the episode "The Outing," Jerry says that Kramer is in his late 30's. "The Outing" takes place in 1993, and if we take "late 30's" to mean between 37 and 39, that would put Kramer's birth date between 1954 and 1956. That would mean he turned 18 between 1972 and 1974. According to my admittedly brief research, the last Navy SEAL left Vietnam in 1973, while the Green Berets continued to operate in the area up until 1975. It's entirely possible that Jerry was exaggerating, though, since Kramer does not look like he's in his late 30's in that episode. Either way it's still possible for him to have served in Vietnam. 

We know virtually nothing about Kramer's past, and he is old enough at the start of the show, so a distinguished albeit turbulent military career is not out of the question. Even if he did not serve a full 20 years, which makes sense considering his age and the timeline of the show, he still could have gotten a medical retirement if his injuries were severe enough, and disability payments would also add to that. 

EDIT: I just realized that in the episode "The Strong Box" Kramer says he was "briefly" in the Army, but refuses to tell anyone anything else about it.

 

also in that episode jerry or george ask him how long he was in the service and he says “that’s classified.” so definitely some kind of special-forces or high-level spy. 

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When George was talking about how Kramer's life should be a fantasy camp he says, "People should plunk down two thousands dollars to live like him for a week.  Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating.  That's a fantasy camp."  

Based on this, we can assume Kramer's army discharge was, in fact, due to a medical mishap or accident, possibly involving some sort of lump settlement.  It would also explain why Kramer was eager to help Frank work through his own mental trauma from while in the Army in Korea.  

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Kramer's dad was also never in the picture, so it's certainly reasonable he looked to the military as a young man for positive male role models.  

There's also Noreen (married to the guy that sounds like a woman on the telephone).  Kramer encouraged her to re-enlist in the U.S. Army where "there she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now.  And she'll have qualified officers telling her what to do."  Obviously, talking someone into that would have to come from a place of experience.

So again, we see that Kramer probably did a stretch, likely in non-standard infantry.  And was likely an NCO at some point.  Again, before this fateful injury.  While seemingly healthy, and always up for physical challenges (a full AIDS walk on no sleep, dominant pitching at baseball camp, 4 hours swimming in the East River suggests he scored well on his Army PT), Kramer does suffer from myriad physical and mental issues.  Irritable Bowel Syndrome, kidney stones, insomnia, vision problems, hearing problems, seizures, and whatever other ailment he had that caused him to employ the alternative healing powers of a "Doctor" Tor Eckman.  

Because of his early discharge from the military...Kramer was unable to complete any sort of certification or schooling in a particular field.  As often sadly happens with our veterans, is he bounces from job to job, from unproven business idea to unproven business idea.  The whole time searching to make an impact in people's lives and also craving a brotherly bond that he can't really find with Jerry or George.  He is taken to the plights of union workers and socialist workers alike, solidarity with "brothers" is very important to him.  

Finally, he very likely got into some serious shit while in the service.  Because Kramer frequently exhibits tremendous fearlessness on the show.  He gets into multiple fights, has no problem going down dark alleys in New York, takes on all comers, throws insults, threatens strangers, absolutely no filter or caution about him.  There are legitimately insane people in New York that don't behave as callously as Kramer does.  I believe he got this bravado, false though it may be, while serving as some sort of black-site operator in the Army years before.  The man we eventually meet as Cosmo Kramer, years later, is almost childlike in some respects, a coping mechanism he has resorted to in order to block out unpleasantness.  Many of the adventures and friends he mentions to the other 3, perhaps just adolescent whimsy...created only in his mind in order to finally be happy in a world he doesn't belong in.  And that's why the chemistry of the four is so dear to him.  And to us.  

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Kel Varnsen

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On 12/10/2021 at 4:35 PM, Lobo said:

Kramer's dad was also never in the picture, so it's certainly reasonable he looked to the military as a young man for positive male role models.  

There's also Noreen (married to the guy that sounds like a woman on the telephone).  Kramer encouraged her to re-enlist in the U.S. Army where "there she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now.  And she'll have qualified officers telling her what to do."  Obviously, talking someone into that would have to come from a place of experience.

So again, we see that Kramer probably did a stretch, likely in non-standard infantry.  And was likely an NCO at some point.  Again, before this fateful injury.  While seemingly healthy, and always up for physical challenges (a full AIDS walk on no sleep, dominant pitching at baseball camp, 4 hours swimming in the East River suggests he scored well on his Army PT), Kramer does suffer from myriad physical and mental issues.  Irritable Bowel Syndrome, kidney stones, insomnia, vision problems, hearing problems, seizures, and whatever other ailment he had that caused him to employ the alternative healing powers of a "Doctor" Tor Eckman.  

Because of his early discharge from the military...Kramer was unable to complete any sort of certification or schooling in a particular field.  As often sadly happens with our veterans, is he bounces from job to job, from unproven business idea to unproven business idea.  The whole time searching to make an impact in people's lives and also craving a brotherly bond that he can't really find with Jerry or George.  He is taken to the plights of union workers and socialist workers alike, solidarity with "brothers" is very important to him.  

Finally, he very likely got into some serious shit while in the service.  Because Kramer frequently exhibits tremendous fearlessness on the show.  He gets into multiple fights, has no problem going down dark alleys in New York, takes on all comers, throws insults, threatens strangers, absolutely no filter or caution about him.  There are legitimately insane people in New York that don't behave as callously as Kramer does.  I believe he got this bravado, false though it may be, while serving as some sort of black-site operator in the Army years before.  The man we eventually meet as Cosmo Kramer, years later, is almost childlike in some respects, a coping mechanism he has resorted to in order to block out unpleasantness.  Many of the adventures and friends he mentions to the other 3, perhaps just adolescent whimsy...created only in his mind in order to finally be happy in a world he doesn't belong in.  And that's why the chemistry of the four is so dear to him.  And to us.  

Plus he was a martial arts expert. I bet he learned that in the service.

 

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Fun Seinfeld military trivia:

1.  Elaine's father mentions serving in Korea.  Which Branch?  

2.  Which Branch did Frank Costanza serve in during Korea?

3.  The U.S. Coast Guard is mentioned on two occasions.  Who almost joined/did join? 

4.  What product did Eddie recommend to the Peterman catalog based on his time in the Army?

5.  Which of Elaine's boyfriends served in the Navy?  

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6 hours ago, Lobo said:

Fun Seinfeld military trivia:

1.  Elaine's father mentions serving in Korea.  Which Branch?  

2.  Which Branch did Frank Costanza serve in during Korea?

3.  The U.S. Coast Guard is mentioned on two occasions.  Who almost joined/did join? 

4.  What product did Eddie recommend to the Peterman catalog based on his time in the Army?

5.  Which of Elaine's boyfriends served in the Navy?  

this post makes me feel like I’d fail at a seinfeld trivia night. they all ring a bell but I’m 0-for-5. 

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7 hours ago, Lobo said:

Fun Seinfeld military trivia:

1.  Elaine's father mentions serving in Korea.  Which Branch?  

2.  Which Branch did Frank Costanza serve in during Korea?

3.  The U.S. Coast Guard is mentioned on two occasions.  Who almost joined/did join? 

4.  What product did Eddie recommend to the Peterman catalog based on his time in the Army?

5.  Which of Elaine's boyfriends served in the Navy?  

2. US Army.  I sent 16 of my men to the latrines that night.  They were just boys!

4. I don't remember exactly...some kind of boots?  Why don't we tweak "kicking in skulls" to "walking through a dewy meadow?"

I can't remember the others.

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Well done #3, Biff.  Yes to Frank in the Army (#2) and Yes to Eddie's boot idea (#4).  Bengalese Galoshes, technically.  But we would have also accepted "Chambray Night Shirts" which was his first pitch, though not his most convincing. 

Did not try to be cryptic with #1, I thought he specifically says Air Force.  But all he says is a man in his Korean War squadron, a tailgunner, thought he was funny but wasn't; and was KIA over the Pacific.  We can take that to mean Alton Benes was likely USAF, due to the fact that almost all equipment fitted with a tailgunner would have been heavy bombers and unlikely to have been deployed by Carrier.  But there is a small chance he was a Naval or USMC aviator.  We would accept any of the three branches, but extra credit will be given for 'USAF' due to the description (albeit brief) of the plane type by Alton.  

#5 is a tough one.

 

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