do you ever yearn?

[Guest Lobo]

Would I be able to get my hand out?  

[futureman 22,415]

do you think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000?  or is this “mouth vacuum” thing for real?

[PantsTent 2,002]

Well you made a long journey from Milan to Minsk. Rochelle Rochelle! 

[Guest Lobo]

These are my everyday balloons. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,711]

What took you so long?

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

On 9/22/2018 at 9:53 AM, Lobo said:

These are my everyday balloons. 

Very underrated.

[4th&Five 41,461]

Hey Silvio, I’m just out for a stroll in my favorite fur coat. 

[futureman 22,415]

I’m rick.  are you looking to buy or to lease?

-uh, borrow.  it’s for my friend.  yeah he’ll be buying it.  

maybe I should talk to him...

-oh I don’t think so.  he’s an entertainer.  you know, all over the place, that’s where I come in...

I see, so you’re his mana—

-uh NEIGH-bor, that’s right.  why don’t we take this boiler out for a shakedown...

[WhatTheBuck 28,711]

Street toughs took my armoire?

[Bama Llama 1,447]

I sent my friend a Steven Wright dvd but he didn't get it.

[futureman 22,415]

I’ve never seen a monkey take apart a fuel injector...

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, but I saw a monkey that could do sign language once

[futureman 22,415]

yeah I saw that one, uh, Koko. 

[Guest Lobo]

High five.

[NOMAAA 1,696]

right.  koko. that chimp's alright.

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

So I'm heading to Tuscany tomorrow and all I can think is:

 

Well if you're thinking of getting a place there don't bother. There's

really nothing available.

[Guest Lobo]

Si, Si...this one.

[WhatTheBuck 28,711]

Do the bums ever complain: "Soup again?"

[futureman 22,415]

nougat?  please.  I think I’ve reached a point in my life where I can tell the difference between nougat and cookie.  

[Bash Riprock 1,695]

So, she's the loser of the group. Every group has someone that they all make fun of.. Like us with Elaine. 

[HornOnTheBayou 8,881]

Who's Cartwright?

I'm Cartwright.

You're not Cartwright.

Of course I'm not Cartwright!

[oSuJeff97 3,435]

George is really given' it to T-Bone....

[Guest Lobo]

He in here all the time, live on park avenue 

[futureman 22,415]

2 hours ago, oSuJeff97 said:

George is really given' it to T-Bone....

I shouldn’t have said that about your wife.  please, accept my apologies. 

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah?  Well I just had sex with your wife!

[PencilPusher 454]

My mother...was taken from my house by the Communists in the middle of the night when I was ten years old. She was sent to a slave labor camp, where she labored for twelve years. Finally, they released her and she was on a boat to America to re-unite with us...but she was served some bad fish, and she died...on the high seas.

[Guest Lobo]

Well, how many do you lose on a normal cruise...like 30, 40?  

[4th&Five 41,461]

Ahoy, Mr. Eldridge 

[futureman 22,415]

your head, it’s too big for your body. 

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

A bird ran into my giant freak head.

[oSuJeff97 3,435]

It's in my book..."Astonishing Tales of the Sea."

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

Hey man, what are you hassling me for?  This is just a gig, it's not my life.

[4th&Five 41,461]

You’re living in the past, man! You’re hung up on some clown from the 60’s!

[Guest Lobo]

Really?  Some sitters haven said he can be a handful l...

[futureman 22,415]

17 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Really?  Some sitters haven said he can be a handful l...

a handful of sunshine 

[ohchaucer 1,443]

She doesn't appreciate the erotic qualities of salted cured meats.

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

Next Stop Pottersville!  Next Stop Pottersville!

[WhatTheBuck 28,711]

I'm not paying five cents for that stupid recycling thing. 

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

7 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I'm not paying five cents for that stupid recycling thing. 

Oh ho! Then you ain't a gettin' no coke!

[PencilPusher 454]

Hey, you're not talking that Michigan deposit bottle scam again, are you?

[pokeNbeans 203]

 She um, she wants to see The Muted Heart.

 Oh, The Muted Heart. Glen Close. Sally Field. Well, that should be good.

[ohchaucer 1,443]

George, you coming to bed?  I'm taping Mad About You.....

[Guest Lobo]

No, she taped Mad About You...

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

I think I could be a philanthropist. A kick ass philanthropist!  I would have all this money, and people would love me. Then they would come to me and beg! And if I felt like it, I would help them out, and then they would owe me big time! 

Edited October 11, 2018 by Biff Tannen

[Guest Lobo]

First thing you're gonna need is a driver...

Edited October 11, 2018 by Lobo

[Bash Riprock 1,695]

You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston. Not as long as you bastards are running things.

[Biff Tannen 45,494]

3 minutes ago, Bash Riprock said:

You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston. Not as long as you bastards are running things.

[Kel Varnsen 8,430]

This is George Costanza. I fear no reprisal.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

21 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

This is George Costanza. I fear no reprisal.

For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots

[SimonBolivar 10,928]

What, you are comparing me to Biff Loman? Very encouraging: the biggest loser in history of American literature.