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Kel Varnsen

By Kel Varnsen
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Biff Tannen

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I always thought one of the best moves of the entire series was when they ended the episode where Jerry and Elaine start having sex with them being "back in a relationship", but then that was the end of it.  Next episode, like it never happened.  Had they continued that storyline, it could've derailed the entire series.

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YGIFS

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"We have an olive project together!"  

Hard to believe Seinfeld predicted that JFK, Jr. would survive, go into hiding, grow olives, and run our government in exile.  And his cousin would marry the co-executive producer's pretend wife in real life and run for office against his olive-project cousin from the gym.  But yeah, we're totally not LIVING IN A SOCIETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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YGIFS

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Okay, I appreciate the effort Yankee Front Office.  But why the hell does the George bobblehead look like Henry Kissinger fucked Charles Grodin?  Was the 1,000 hours and 10,000 photographs of Jason Alexander not enough to work with to crate an accurate replica figurine?  Or is this some kinda sick, twisted Doll thing because of his mom?  

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Kel Varnsen

Kel Varnsen 8460

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17 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Okay, I appreciate the effort Yankee Front Office.  But why the hell does the George bobblehead look like Henry Kissinger fucked Charles Grodin?  Was the 1,000 hours and 10,000 photographs of Jason Alexander not enough to work with to crate an accurate replica figurine?  Or is this some kinda sick, twisted Doll thing because of his mom?  

They could have just used the BBQ sauce bottle label if they wanted Charles Grodin?

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Well played.  

I was just posting about a Sally Weaver call-back on the Curb thread.  And didn't even occur to me about the Grodin deal on the Doll episode of Seinfeld.  And the bobble-head is effectively a desktop doll.  

WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!  

Seriously, I berate the point like Larry David...but I sometimes honestly think we're living inside a Seinfeld episode.  There's just no way some of this shit is real.  

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6 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

So he wanted to offer you his wife as some form of medieval sexual payola?

csb/ Some students asked for suggestions on movies to watch about finance last year.  And I rolled my eyes like, "How about some book recommendations instead?"  But I caved and suggested shit like Margin Call and some others.  And then remembered "Barbarians at the Gates" which was a little film with James Garner about the privatization of a RJR-Nabisco.  There's a bunch of well-known actors in it.  And holy shit, it's Milos from Seinfeld as the main investment banker guy.  He actually went on to a really great career after that movie and his Seinfeld appearance.  His tennis career, sadly, did not pan out.  

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futureman

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2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

csb/ Some students asked for suggestions on movies to watch about finance last year.  And I rolled my eyes like, "How about some book recommendations instead?"  But I caved and suggested shit like Margin Call and some others.  And then remembered "Barbarians at the Gates" which was a little film with James Garner about the privatization of a RJR-Nabisco.  There's a bunch of well-known actors in it.  And holy shit, it's Milos from Seinfeld as the main investment banker guy.  He actually went on to a really great career after that movie and his Seinfeld appearance.  His tennis career, sadly, did not pan out.  

he’s the one from the small town on 281 right?

Hamilton?

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Biff Tannen

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This is great, though I'm going to disagree with the statement from the article.

Quote

Monson, of course, was referring to the episode "The Millennium" where Costanza attempts to get fired by New York Yankees after receiving a job offer from the New York Mets. Costanza attempts to go out with "one final blaze of incompetence" by intentionally spilling strawberries on Babe Ruth's uniform, dragging the World Series trophy from his car and streaking across the field in a body suit.  

I think he was actually conflating that episode with the Play Now episode.  But still a good reference.

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But if you think about it, aren't all Seinfeld episodes a conflation?  I mean, if he starts to market bouncy shoes for better jumping capability then we have finally reached the vortex of the simulation.  Danny's new in town!  

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futureman

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On 3/22/2024 at 2:06 PM, Biff Tannen said:

I think he was actually conflating that episode with the Play Now episode.  But still a good reference.

but he wasn’t trying to get fired in the play now episode.  are you talking about the quote from the coach or the article?

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Biff Tannen

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8 hours ago, futureman said:

but he wasn’t trying to get fired in the play now episode.  are you talking about the quote from the coach or the article?

The coach was conflating the episodes and then the article picked one, but the reality is it was a mash up of the two episodes.

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Dutchrudder

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Season 9 has been rather underwhelming so far, I watched the Puerto Rican Parade episode the other night, and there wasn't anything to highlight in it. It was pretty dumb with the stalled traffic, laser pointer guy annoying George and Elaine playing some sort of Harriet Tubman caricature. Most of season 9 has felt like a significant drop off in quality from seasons 4-8, but the notable episodes I liked were:

The Butter Shave (George gets a job due to his cane, nearly talks himself out of it until the 'private bathroom' is mentioned, Kristin Davis dates Kenny Bania, Chris Parnell thinks Kenny should make a NBC sitcom)
The Voice (bellybutton talking, George keeping his job after faking being disabled, Kramer gets a assistant)
The Strike (The Human Fund is created, Kruger comes to Festivus, Kramer works at a bagel shop)
The Burning (Kramer and Micky act out diseases, Elaine learns she's going to Hell)

I'm up to the finale now, which I haven't seen since it aired back on May 14, 1998. I remember not liking it very much, because it wasn't much new material (rehashing old stuff doesn't count a week after a clip show), and the premise of the arrest was completely unbelievable. I'm still interested in watching it for fun, but don't have my hopes up at this point. They really did pick the right time to go out on a high note overall, and end the series when it was on the decline.

I will say, I did enjoy the hell out of the clipshow, which was the penultimate episode. They did a great job with carving out themes, montages of similar situations and revisiting the most epic moments of the show. I normally don't like clip shows, but that one was so well done. It really does a great service to saying goodbye to all the characters in a fun way and reminding you of all the good times we had.   

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Yeah I never got the complaints about the last two seasons.  Did I miss Larry David’s touch?  Certainly.  But they were still fucking hilarious.  People whine they were too over the top.  That was the whole fucking point.  It took a show about nothing to an absurdly, hyperbolic point.  That was the joke within the joke.  The writers and Berg and Jerry took it to a different layer just for themselves and then went out on top.  Quarter century later, and millions still don’t understand how well crafted the ending seasons were.  I promise they’ll be unpacking the denouement for a decades in RTF/writing courses.  

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Al_4_ISU

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I'm in the camp of Season 9 not quite measuring up.  It still has quite a few classic episodes and absolute series defining moments.  I think it lacks the same quality of dialogue as the Larry David years, and while I get what they were doing with the whole meta-absurdity thing, it just doesn't work for me.  They introduce some new ancillary characters that just don't quite develop like the earlier ones did and almost distract.  Like FDR - why even bring him in?  Newman was already the perfect overweight foil.

It's still really good, and mostly suffers by comparison to the greatness leading up to it.

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Yeah, the FDR episode was a weak one to be sure.  If you have to rank the seasons and episodes, we can debate that all day long.  season 2 and 9 are certainly not the strongest.  But they’re still hilarious to me.  Almost every other sitcom dragged its wretched ass way too long or was properly canceled and put out of its misery.  But i still think Seinfeld 8&9 were cleverly compartmentalized as an inside joke kinda like the final season of the Sopranos.  

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Biff Tannen

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Season 9 Episodes

The Butter Shave, The Voice, The Serenity Now, The Blood, The Junk Mail, The Merv Griffin Show, The Slicer, The Betrayal, The Apology, The Strike, The Dealership, The Reverse Peephole, The Cartoon, The Strongbox, The Wizard, The Burning, The Bookstore, The Frogger, The Maid, The Puerto Rican Day, (clip shows and Finales not included).

The only two I could see that leave something to be desired are The Betrayal (though I've come around on that one a bit more) and The Puerto Rican Day.  The rest are GOLD.

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futureman

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3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah I never got the complaints about the last two seasons.  Did I miss Larry David’s touch?  Certainly.  But they were still fucking hilarious.  People whine they were too over the top.  That was the whole fucking point.  It took a show about nothing to an absurdly, hyperbolic point.  That was the joke within the joke.  The writers and Berg and Jerry took it to a different layer just for themselves and then went out on top.  Quarter century later, and millions still don’t understand how well crafted the ending seasons were.  I promise they’ll be unpacking the denouement for a decades in RTF/writing courses.  

 

2 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Season 9 Episodes

The Butter Shave, The Voice, The Serenity Now, The Blood, The Junk Mail, The Merv Griffin Show, The Slicer, The Betrayal, The Apology, The Strike, The Dealership, The Reverse Peephole, The Cartoon, The Strongbox, The Wizard, The Burning, The Bookstore, The Frogger, The Maid, The Puerto Rican Day, (clip shows and Finales not included).

The only two I could see that leave something to be desired are The Betrayal (though I've come around on that one a bit more) and The Puerto Rican Day.  The rest are GOLD.

well, that settles it.

7d80dd57-8635-4927-8def-23d61ef5b062_tex

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26 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

The Reverse Peephole

Our policy is, we're comfortable with our bodies. If someone wants to help themselves to an eyefull, we say, 'Enjoy the show.'

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Dutchrudder

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Whelp, I finished the series today, and man that Finale was underwhelming. I think the first 20 minutes or so were actually pretty good and felt like a normal episode. Once they got arrested, it kind of went downhill from there. Just a whole bunch of callbacks and rehashing old jokes by bringing back a parade of characters. Jackie sleeping with Teri Hatcher was a surprise, I definitely forgot about that. The judge being named Arthur Vandelay was meh, but George's mom propositioning him in order to be lenient was a surprise. Apparently it didn't work though, since they got a 1 year sentence.

I did think it was funny that Ted Danson's name came up again when George was complaining about the plane. He of course made the same kind of complaint back in season 4 when negotiating the pilot with NBC, comparing the paltry $13,000 to what Ted Danson makes per episode of Cheers.  I'm sure Larry David had something to do with it, since Ted is on Curb as himself.  

There were some funny parts, but it was mostly the 4 of them and Jackie reacting to witnesses and testimony. We already know a lot of that stuff isn't socially acceptable and the issues with the things they do, so throwing it back in the character's faces just isn't funny on its own.  I think where they really missed the mark was not having any sort of testimony from the 4. Elaine could have tried to play it smart and deflect responsibility, Jerry should have been trying to point out the absurdities and make some awkward joke that doesn't fly, George should have been on that stand getting very upset and Kramer should have been last and screwed it all up somehow. It's too bad they didn't go with more of the main characters and less of the extras, plus I would have loved to see Frank Costanza up there on the stand testifying as to why his son doesn't deserve this treatment. 

Anyways, it's not the worst finale in sitcom history, but it's certainly not a great one. I don't think it's nearly as bad as people seem to recall, but there was a lot of different ways they could have gone instead. Honestly I think doing a normal show with nothing special would have been the best option and fit the show better. End with them debating a random social topic in the coffee shop and fade to credits would have been great. 

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Biff Tannen

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There is no coma etiquette. You see that’s the beauty of the coma, man. It doesn’t matter what you do around it.

So you’re saying, his girl, his car, his clothes, it’s all up for grabs? You can just loot the coma victim?

I’d give him 24 hours to get out of it. They can’t get out of it in 24 hours, it’s a land rush!

So if the coma victim wakes up in a month, he’s thrilled, he got out of the coma. He goes home, there’s nothing left?

NOTHING LEFT!

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