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do you ever yearn?

Kel Varnsen

By Kel Varnsen
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Dutchrudder

Dutchrudder 11141

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Saw a Reddit thread that was fun. If Seinfeld could have had 1 use of the word "fuck" (or any variation of it), where would you have inserted it in the show? 

A few of the top voted ones:

Yeah? Well, I fucked your wife.

What the fuck are ya doing, ya little piece of [still bleeped]?!?

Thanks for ruining my daddy's business you fat fuck.

You want a Christmas card?! Here's your fucking Christmas card!

You had to have the BIG FUCKING SALAD!

Person on beach - “Is anyone here a marine biologist?”
George - “Fuck.”

I got a lot of problems with you fucking people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

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'stache

'stache 21818

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Saw an old Family Guy rerun and they made this joke about Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It's obviously before Veep, but it got me thinking about the cast post-Seinfeld. We know that Jerry was not an actor, so it makes sense that he focused on stand up with a few movie projects and Comedians in Cars. I read that Jason Alexander was always better at Broadway than TV and typecasting probably kept him from another major TV role. The question will always be Michael Richards. The stories I've read are that he was the most serious of the cast about the craft of acting, even though his roles were mostly goofy characters. It made me wonder if he would have found post-Seinfeld success had he not gone on his stage rant. My guess is that he would have found something eventually, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus' VEEP success came out of nowhere, and I've always liked that she found that success. 

 

 

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Post Oak

Post Oak 20239

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42 minutes ago, Dutchrudder said:

Saw a Reddit thread that was fun. If Seinfeld could have had 1 use of the word "fuck" (or any variation of it), where would you have inserted it in the show? 

A few of the top voted ones:

Yeah? Well, I fucked your wife.

What the fuck are ya doing, ya little piece of [still bleeped]?!?

Thanks for ruining my daddy's business you fat fuck.

You want a Christmas card?! Here's your fucking Christmas card!

You had to have the BIG FUCKING SALAD!

Person on beach - “Is anyone here a marine biologist?”
George - “Fuck.”

I got a lot of problems with you fucking people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

What the fuck did you trade Jay Buhner for?

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45691

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4 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Y'all would know, wasn't there an episode where it's briefly mentioned that either Seinfeld or George served in the Coast Guard right before/after college?  Why do I remember that?  

It's when George was trying to figure out what to do for a new job. 

But what about your sea sickness?

Maybe I could be a land guy.

I don't know if they have land guys.

Well, someone's gotta be there to unhook the boat from the place!

3 hours ago, Dutchrudder said:

Yeah? Well, I fucked your wife.

Of the ones you posted, this is the best.

2 hours ago, Post Oak said:

What the fuck did you trade Jay Buhner for?

Close 2nd.

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45691

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2 hours ago, 'stache said:

Julia Louis-Dreyfus' VEEP success came out of nowhere, and I've always liked that she found that success. 

It didn't really come out of nowhere.  New Adventures of Old Christine apparently did well enough to have five seasons.  But yes, VEEP far outdid that success.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19450

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You guys are freaking me out!  So my youngest had her pre-school graduation today.  And I got to meet a lot of the classmates and parents I've been hearing about all year.  And she has this thing where she'll come home and just give us this verbatim report of "Boone said this" and "Carlotta said that."  So we're having cake afterwards and she's still regaling us with classroom chatter.  And my wife asks, "And what pray tell did Thomas have to say about graduation?"  And I am still laughing.  And on top of that, there was a grandpa there today who was a dead ringer for the guy at the Del Boca Vista board meeting with the cigar who replies to Morty about who is running the meeting, 'If you think so..."  Maybe the simulation is just one long seinfeld episode?  

By the way, in honor of her graduation but in lieu of sending you all links to our gift registry, we ask you kindly make a generous donation to the Human Fund.  Money for People.  

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19450

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2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

About to dominate some fools at Seinfeld trivia. 

Well, that's true.  You do make good comments, George.  

I can go quote for quote with anybody, but your obscure recollection of apartments numbers, addresses, telephone numbers, etc. is just surreal to me.  If only you could use your powers for good, Biff.

Only time I did an in-person Seinfeld trivia game was at that Irish Pub on West Sixth like 15 years ago.  And there was a question about the Bubble Boy episode and I didn't know the answer.  Question was something about how George and Susan ended up in that house to begin with.  So I submitted, "The Moops" just to submit something between beers.  And the host was like, "Who are the Moops.  Do you mean the Moors."  And I thought he was gonna run with the joke, but he just kept going with the game.  I've always wanted to track him down and punch him in the brain.  

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45691

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2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Well, that's true.  You do make good comments, George.  

I can go quote for quote with anybody, but your obscure recollection of apartments numbers, addresses, telephone numbers, etc. is just surreal to me.  If only you could use your powers for good, Biff.

Only time I did an in-person Seinfeld trivia game was at that Irish Pub on West Sixth like 15 years ago.  And there was a question about the Bubble Boy episode and I didn't know the answer.  Question was something about how George and Susan ended up in that house to begin with.  So I submitted, "The Moops" just to submit something between beers.  And the host was like, "Who are the Moops.  Do you mean the Moors."  And I thought he was gonna run with the joke, but he just kept going with the game.  I've always wanted to track him down and punch him in the brain.  

One of the questions was Newman's apartment number.  

We only missed one tonight and the team in second place was a solo contestant.  We recruited him into our harem and we discussed trying to find a national Seinfeld trivia circuit.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19450

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14 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

Ahh, Susie here'll teach you. Just gotta pull on the teat a little.

We don't need to name names.  Or point fingers.  Or name names.  

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futureman

futureman 22472

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6 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Well if you’re thinking of renting something there, I wouldn’t bother.  There’s really nothing available.  

the houses are passed down from generation to generation.  it’s very hard. 

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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14214

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On 5/23/2024 at 11:43 PM, Biff Tannen said:

One of the questions was Newman's apartment number.  

We only missed one tonight and the team in second place was a solo contestant.  We recruited him into our harem and we discussed trying to find a national Seinfeld trivia circuit.

How does bar trivia work now with smartphones? Last time I played was in the early days of smartphones and while our team didn't cheat (and maybe the internet was too slow to cheat anyways), I'm pretty sure some of the other teams did. Now it seems like it'd be impossible to police. 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45691

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10 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

How does bar trivia work now with smartphones? Last time I played was in the early days of smartphones and while our team didn't cheat (and maybe the internet was too slow to cheat anyways), I'm pretty sure some of the other teams did. Now it seems like it'd be impossible to police. 

Yeah, it’s pretty much the honor system. Only one phone allowed in the open, which is the one you log your answers on. People can cheat if they want, but what is the fun in that?

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19450

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"I think we're all comfortable remaining within the confines of.the.honor.system." /JerryContest

The only Seinfeld trivia contest I ever played at a pub, it was 15 seconds to answer.  So nobody could even really type that fast, then relay the answer, then enter it on the device.  This was early days smart phone.  You could audibly enter the query to shave time, but everybody else could hear you.  Either you knew it or you didn't kinda thing.  I did okay.  My knack is for quotes and then Larry's denouement.  But Biff can seemingly recall apartment numbers, intersections (not just 1st & 1st), restaurant orders, etc.  It's a whole Rain Man thing with him apparently.  I'm stuck on the JV team for now.  

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45691

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1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

"I think we're all comfortable remaining within the confines of.the.honor.system." /JerryContest

The only Seinfeld trivia contest I ever played at a pub, it was 15 seconds to answer.  So nobody could even really type that fast, then relay the answer, then enter it on the device.  This was early days smart phone.  You could audibly enter the query to shave time, but everybody else could hear you.  Either you knew it or you didn't kinda thing.  I did okay.  My knack is for quotes and then Larry's denouement.  But Biff can seemingly recall apartment numbers, intersections (not just 1st & 1st), restaurant orders, etc.  It's a whole Rain Man thing with him apparently.  I'm stuck on the JV team for now.  

It’s not Rain Man. It’s just obsession. Much like Calvin Klein and The Beach. Though that sonofabitch DeJiff stole it. 

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45691

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1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

 

Michael Richards was super serious about the physical comedy. In the parking garage episode, the air conditioner box was actually full of weight and at one point he hurt himself when he put it down. 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19450

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Yeah, I think we talked about this on the old site, but Jason Alexander gave an interview just a few years after the show finished.  And he goes into these stories about leaving the set to go home and he'd quietly watch/listen to Michael who has either on the set or behind it, just drilling down all these little movements and mouth clicks and mannerisms.  And Jason was, and had worked with, very committed thespians.  But he said that Michael treated it like a stage in that he knew they could go back during post and add emphasis to his clicks or head donks or falls, etc.  But that Michael wanted to make it as loud and realistic as possible so he did most of that shit himself and had them mic it accordingly.  And Jason says the truly amazing part was when Michael was doing all that goofy shit, some of which hurt him physically, he could just roll right into the dialogue be it dry or silly, and not skip a beat.  And Julie and/or Jerry would crack up, but Michael broke the least of any of the 4.  

I wish I could remember who Jason gave the interview to, this would have been right about 20 years ago.  It wasn't terribly insightful or entertaining, nothing you couldn't glean from the DVD commentary which started coming out about that time.  But to hear Jason tell it like "I've worked with committed actors on stage and screen, but how Michael could switch from painful physical comedy to dry sarcasm on a dime was something I had never seen before and didn't even really knew existed."  It was like Season 2 or so the way he tells it, but he mentioned other times down the road.  Much as we all love to quote the brilliant writing, and as funny as the four of them are, there really was 'lightning in a bottle' chemistry' between them that can never be replicated.  

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