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Posted (edited)

Here's the second clip (aside from that shitty 80's show I posted awhile back) of Julia in a cute cheerleader outfit.  Sadly, the skirt is way too long.  

And what would you say if I told you I have vintage footage of a saucy Teri Garr & Julia Louis-Dreyfus in cheerleader outfits?  Well, the sketch is neither sexy nor funny.  Though there is an ass-shot at 1:56, it offers some hope.  so here it is.  From 1983 SNL's cold open...

 

 

I know deep down inside, Julia yearns for me.  That is why I press on...

Edited by Lobo
Posted
  On 12/10/2021 at 4:19 AM, futureman said:

you were in the army?

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Briefly. 
 

And here’s someone on Reddit that spent way too much time thinking about it. 
 

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Posted
  On 12/10/2021 at 2:24 PM, Biff Tannen said:

Briefly. 
 

And here’s someone on Reddit that spent way too much time thinking about it. 
 

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also in that episode jerry or george ask him how long he was in the service and he says “that’s classified.” so definitely some kind of special-forces or high-level spy. 

Posted

When George was talking about how Kramer's life should be a fantasy camp he says, "People should plunk down two thousands dollars to live like him for a week.  Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating.  That's a fantasy camp."  

Based on this, we can assume Kramer's army discharge was, in fact, due to a medical mishap or accident, possibly involving some sort of lump settlement.  It would also explain why Kramer was eager to help Frank work through his own mental trauma from while in the Army in Korea.  

Posted (edited)

Kramer's dad was also never in the picture, so it's certainly reasonable he looked to the military as a young man for positive male role models.  

There's also Noreen (married to the guy that sounds like a woman on the telephone).  Kramer encouraged her to re-enlist in the U.S. Army where "there she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now.  And she'll have qualified officers telling her what to do."  Obviously, talking someone into that would have to come from a place of experience.

So again, we see that Kramer probably did a stretch, likely in non-standard infantry.  And was likely an NCO at some point.  Again, before this fateful injury.  While seemingly healthy, and always up for physical challenges (a full AIDS walk on no sleep, dominant pitching at baseball camp, 4 hours swimming in the East River suggests he scored well on his Army PT), Kramer does suffer from myriad physical and mental issues.  Irritable Bowel Syndrome, kidney stones, insomnia, vision problems, hearing problems, seizures, and whatever other ailment he had that caused him to employ the alternative healing powers of a "Doctor" Tor Eckman.  

Because of his early discharge from the military...Kramer was unable to complete any sort of certification or schooling in a particular field.  As often sadly happens with our veterans, is he bounces from job to job, from unproven business idea to unproven business idea.  The whole time searching to make an impact in people's lives and also craving a brotherly bond that he can't really find with Jerry or George.  He is taken to the plights of union workers and socialist workers alike, solidarity with "brothers" is very important to him.  

Finally, he very likely got into some serious shit while in the service.  Because Kramer frequently exhibits tremendous fearlessness on the show.  He gets into multiple fights, has no problem going down dark alleys in New York, takes on all comers, throws insults, threatens strangers, absolutely no filter or caution about him.  There are legitimately insane people in New York that don't behave as callously as Kramer does.  I believe he got this bravado, false though it may be, while serving as some sort of black-site operator in the Army years before.  The man we eventually meet as Cosmo Kramer, years later, is almost childlike in some respects, a coping mechanism he has resorted to in order to block out unpleasantness.  Many of the adventures and friends he mentions to the other 3, perhaps just adolescent whimsy...created only in his mind in order to finally be happy in a world he doesn't belong in.  And that's why the chemistry of the four is so dear to him.  And to us.  

Edited by Lobo
Posted
  On 12/10/2021 at 10:35 PM, Lobo said:

Kramer's dad was also never in the picture, so it's certainly reasonable he looked to the military as a young man for positive male role models.  

There's also Noreen (married to the guy that sounds like a woman on the telephone).  Kramer encouraged her to re-enlist in the U.S. Army where "there she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now.  And she'll have qualified officers telling her what to do."  Obviously, talking someone into that would have to come from a place of experience.

So again, we see that Kramer probably did a stretch, likely in non-standard infantry.  And was likely an NCO at some point.  Again, before this fateful injury.  While seemingly healthy, and always up for physical challenges (a full AIDS walk on no sleep, dominant pitching at baseball camp, 4 hours swimming in the East River suggests he scored well on his Army PT), Kramer does suffer from myriad physical and mental issues.  Irritable Bowel Syndrome, kidney stones, insomnia, vision problems, hearing problems, seizures, and whatever other ailment he had that caused him to employ the alternative healing powers of a "Doctor" Tor Eckman.  

Because of his early discharge from the military...Kramer was unable to complete any sort of certification or schooling in a particular field.  As often sadly happens with our veterans, is he bounces from job to job, from unproven business idea to unproven business idea.  The whole time searching to make an impact in people's lives and also craving a brotherly bond that he can't really find with Jerry or George.  He is taken to the plights of union workers and socialist workers alike, solidarity with "brothers" is very important to him.  

Finally, he very likely got into some serious shit while in the service.  Because Kramer frequently exhibits tremendous fearlessness on the show.  He gets into multiple fights, has no problem going down dark alleys in New York, takes on all comers, throws insults, threatens strangers, absolutely no filter or caution about him.  There are legitimately insane people in New York that don't behave as callously as Kramer does.  I believe he got this bravado, false though it may be, while serving as some sort of black-site operator in the Army years before.  The man we eventually meet as Cosmo Kramer, years later, is almost childlike in some respects, a coping mechanism he has resorted to in order to block out unpleasantness.  Many of the adventures and friends he mentions to the other 3, perhaps just adolescent whimsy...created only in his mind in order to finally be happy in a world he doesn't belong in.  And that's why the chemistry of the four is so dear to him.  And to us.  

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Plus he was a martial arts expert. I bet he learned that in the service.

 

XypDyKz.gif

Posted

Right. And in The Keys, when that kid asks Kramer if he’s ever killed a man, Kramer answers, “What do you think, junior? You think these hands have been soaking in Ivory Liquid?” So he obviously has blood on his hands. 

Posted
  On 12/12/2021 at 5:32 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Right. And in The Keys, when that kid asks Kramer if he’s ever killed a man, Kramer answers, “What do you think, junior? You think these hands have been soaking in Ivory Liquid?” So he obviously has blood on his hands. 

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I’d stab him!  I’d gut him like a fish!

Posted

Fun Seinfeld military trivia:

1.  Elaine's father mentions serving in Korea.  Which Branch?  

2.  Which Branch did Frank Costanza serve in during Korea?

3.  The U.S. Coast Guard is mentioned on two occasions.  Who almost joined/did join? 

4.  What product did Eddie recommend to the Peterman catalog based on his time in the Army?

5.  Which of Elaine's boyfriends served in the Navy?  

Posted
  On 12/14/2021 at 4:21 AM, Lobo said:

Fun Seinfeld military trivia:

1.  Elaine's father mentions serving in Korea.  Which Branch?  

2.  Which Branch did Frank Costanza serve in during Korea?

3.  The U.S. Coast Guard is mentioned on two occasions.  Who almost joined/did join? 

4.  What product did Eddie recommend to the Peterman catalog based on his time in the Army?

5.  Which of Elaine's boyfriends served in the Navy?  

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this post makes me feel like I’d fail at a seinfeld trivia night. they all ring a bell but I’m 0-for-5. 

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Posted
  On 12/14/2021 at 4:21 AM, Lobo said:

Fun Seinfeld military trivia:

1.  Elaine's father mentions serving in Korea.  Which Branch?  

2.  Which Branch did Frank Costanza serve in during Korea?

3.  The U.S. Coast Guard is mentioned on two occasions.  Who almost joined/did join? 

4.  What product did Eddie recommend to the Peterman catalog based on his time in the Army?

5.  Which of Elaine's boyfriends served in the Navy?  

Expand  

2. US Army.  I sent 16 of my men to the latrines that night.  They were just boys!

4. I don't remember exactly...some kind of boots?  Why don't we tweak "kicking in skulls" to "walking through a dewy meadow?"

I can't remember the others.

Posted

Well done #3, Biff.  Yes to Frank in the Army (#2) and Yes to Eddie's boot idea (#4).  Bengalese Galoshes, technically.  But we would have also accepted "Chambray Night Shirts" which was his first pitch, though not his most convincing. 

Did not try to be cryptic with #1, I thought he specifically says Air Force.  But all he says is a man in his Korean War squadron, a tailgunner, thought he was funny but wasn't; and was KIA over the Pacific.  We can take that to mean Alton Benes was likely USAF, due to the fact that almost all equipment fitted with a tailgunner would have been heavy bombers and unlikely to have been deployed by Carrier.  But there is a small chance he was a Naval or USMC aviator.  We would accept any of the three branches, but extra credit will be given for 'USAF' due to the description (albeit brief) of the plane type by Alton.  

#5 is a tough one.

 

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