do you ever yearn?

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

20 minutes ago, Bash Riprock said:

You got me blacklisted at hop sings?!?

She named names!

[Biff Tannen 46060]

27 minutes ago, theCruiser said:

I guess so.  I guess it's just his facial expression and goofy primate hands thrown up in exacerbated disgust with those around him that scream out that very phrase.  It's why I love the man.  

His attempt at Alec Baldwin in "Glengarry Glen Ross" to motivate his computer salesman is something I aspire to each day in leadership.  

"We're having a little sales contest.  The loser gets fired.  The winner gets a WaterPik!"  

YOU'RE NOT GIVING AWAY OUR WATERPIK!

[Bash Riprock 1695]

I'm a man who respects a good coma.

[NorthLoop 14420]

SERENITY NOW

[McCroskey 1510]

Hey let me ask you something...what do you do for a living, Newman?


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[Biff Tannen 46060]

So you want to abolish all home package delivery?

YES. It's dangerous.

[Bash Riprock 1695]

I said, "Nice try, granny!" And I sent her to the back of the line!

 

[Biff Tannen 46060]

Yes, I'm impugning a continent.

[HornOnTheBayou 9056]

You see, certified mail is always registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified.

I could listen to you talk all day about mail.

I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: they're meaningless.

[4th&Five 41902]

Too bad you can’t do that for a living. You’d be very successful. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. 

[Guest Lobo]

Speaking of Madison Square Garden...

it's funny, you don't look like an O'brien.  

[HornOnTheBayou 9056]

53 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Speaking of Madison Square Garden...

it's funny, you don't look like an O'brien.  

Dublin. Originally. Parents came over here when I was eighteen. Cereal famine. Couldn't get a bowl anywhere. Bad. 'Tis a beautiful country though; lush rolling hills, and the peat, ah the peat.

Sounds more like Scottish.

We were right on the border.

[NorthLoop 14420]

What do you call a doctor who flunked out of med school? 

[WhatTheBuck 28904]

A dentist. 

[Guest Lobo]

55 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

A dentist. 

Dentists?   Pffffft, who needs em, am I right ?

[futureman 22664]

3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Dentists?   Pffffft, who needs em, am I right ?

not to mention the blacks and the jews. 

[Guest Lobo]

And this offends you as a Jewish person?

[pokeNbeans 204]

No, it offends me as a comedian...

[futureman 22664]

give me a schtickle of fluoride. 

[Guest Lobo]

This all reminds me of an adults only dental practice I used to frequent. 

[PencilPusher 454]

Oh, which reminds me, did you hear the one about the Pope and Raquel Welch on the lifeboat

[ohchaucer 1444]

Those aren't buoys!!

[Sleepygrad 1031]

The entire sequence of jerry making Newman eat some broccoli, followed by Newman taking a shot of honey mustard, then composing himself and walking out of Kenny Rogers with his and Kramer’s order is one of my favorites scenes of the whole series. Newman was so awesome

[ohchaucer 1444]

Newman wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried and covered in chocolate sauce!

[WhatTheBuck 28904]

Vile weed!

[futureman 22664]

he was buying quite a load of chicken, almost enough for two people.  as long as one of them’s not him.

[Guest Lobo]

Kenny?  Kemmmmmy?  

[futureman 22664]

how’s life on the red planet?

[hornfan785 569]

It's like a sauna in here...

[futureman 22664]

well, my friend jay reimenschneider eats horse all the time!  he gets it from his butcher. 

[oSuJeff97 3438]

16 hours ago, futureman said:

how’s life on the red planet?

Mr. Marbles..........????

[PencilPusher 454]

You look a little stressed.....

Oh I'm stressed.......

 

 

[Incredulity 11860]

No Jerry! I need that chicken, I gotta have that chicken, you leave those roasters alone, Kenny never hurt anybody.

You got yourself a little problem.

[Incredulity 11860]

No, you're the only white poet warlord in the neighborhood

[ohchaucer 1444]

....but I will need to see this hat.

[futureman 22664]

-but then my wife gets me this “urban sombrero”.   the next thing I know my ass is out on the street.  

—I tried one, too.  I woke up and found my walking papers tacked to the brim.  stupid j pendleton.  

-I never thought a hat would destroy my life. 

[oSuJeff97 3438]

Are you an assassin......?

 

 

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

You speak Burmese?

[oSuJeff97 3438]

No. That was gibberish.

[Biff Tannen 46060]

Quit telling your stupid story, about the stupid desert, and just die already!  Die!!

[pokeNbeans 204]

I've seen that man in Tuscany. Eccentric fellow. Reputation of being kind of a village idiot.

I still say we're related.

[Guest Lobo]

I wouldn't bother checking, there's really nothing left.  

[futureman 22664]

oh yeah, yeah I heard.  marvin kessler.  boy, that makes you think.  if he could go....

[Guest Lobo]

Did you hear about Newman?

[hornfan785 569]

The mug is round. The jar is round. Why don't they call it Roundtine?

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

31 minutes ago, hornfan785 said:

The mug is round. The jar is round. Why don't they call it Roundtine?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Biff Tannen 46060]

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

Did you hear about Newman?

Going on vacation with my in-laws is an approximate replica of this bar conversation several times a day.  It's a constant game of telephone and what comes out the other end is completely different than what was originally said.  I just sit back and laugh and laugh.

[PencilPusher 454]

3 hours ago, hornfan785 said:

The mug is round. The jar is round. Why don't they call it Roundtine?

[Guest Lobo]

SOUP IS THE MEAL, !

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

13 hours ago, Lobo said:

SOUP IS THE MEAL, !

I mean if he had gotten Chicken Gumbo, or Matzah Ball, or Mushroom Barley. Then I would agree with you. Those are very hardy soups.