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Kel Varnsen

By Kel Varnsen
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Bender Bending Rodriguez

Bender Bending Rodriguez 1693

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Jerry: Wait a second.. Were you wearing those shoes in the cab?

Kramer: Yeah, yeah! Right after I left the Y.

Jerry: Don't you see what's happened?? He couldn't talk, he's wearing these shoes, he's drooling...

Elaine: He thinks you're mentally challenged!

Jerry: Well...........

Elaine: Well, what happens when you show up? He'll see that you're not!

Jerry: Not necessarily because.....

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Guest Lobo

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csb/ this was probably almost 17-18 years ago.  It was an era when hardsided briefcases were still somewhat common, the laptop bag or backpack or rolling case was quite rare.  I was visiting a field office in the midwest and took a younger guy with me to a fairly important meeting.  I was meeting him at the client's office and sent him a list of some documents to print and bring with him from his local office.  I told him to bring them in a briefcase or some kinda professional looking bag, no backpacks or loose.  He shows up in what is obviously his dad's or granddad's briefcase.  We start sorting them in advance of the conference room.  All that's in the briefcase was the manila file, a pack of gum, and his keys.  I told him, "okay Kramer, don't let anybody see the inside of this briefcase until we leave."  He never understood the reference, I never talked to him again, and to this day when I'm taking things in/out of my laptop bag for business travel my wife still asks if I need anything and then says, "that's what makes this so difficult."  and we have a laugh before I leave town.  Always loved that episode and how helpful she is whenever I pack for work.  /csb

I never found out what happened to that kid at the office up there.  I'd like to think he prepared the proper reports some day after that.

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futureman

futureman 22545

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5 minutes ago, Lobo said:

csb/ this was probably almost 17-18 years ago.  It was an era when hardsided briefcases were still somewhat common, the laptop bag or backpack or rolling case was quite rare.  I was visiting a field office in the midwest and took a younger guy with me to a fairly important meeting.  I was meeting him at the client's office and sent him a list of some documents to print and bring with him from his local office.  I told him to bring them in a briefcase or some kinda professional looking bag, no backpacks or loose.  He shows up in what is obviously his dad's or granddad's briefcase.  We start sorting them in advance of the conference room.  All that's in the briefcase was the manila file, a pack of gum, and his keys.  I told him, "okay Kramer, don't let anybody see the inside of this briefcase until we leave."  He never understood the reference, I never talked to him again, and to this day when I'm taking things in/out of my laptop bag for business travel my wife still asks if I need anything and then says, "that's what makes this so difficult."  and we have a laugh before I leave town.  Always loved that episode and how helpful she is whenever I pack for work.  

I want a woman to quote Seinfeld with...

cherish her, Lobo. 

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Da Fino

Da Fino 2784

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csb/ this was probably almost 17-18 years ago.  It was an era when hardsided briefcases were still somewhat common, the laptop bag or backpack or rolling case was quite rare.  I was visiting a field office in the midwest and took a younger guy with me to a fairly important meeting.  I was meeting him at the client's office and sent him a list of some documents to print and bring with him from his local office.  I told him to bring them in a briefcase or some kinda professional looking bag, no backpacks or loose.  He shows up in what is obviously his dad's or granddad's briefcase.  We start sorting them in advance of the conference room.  All that's in the briefcase was the manila file, a pack of gum, and his keys.  I told him, "okay Kramer, don't let anybody see the inside of this briefcase until we leave."  He never understood the reference, I never talked to him again, and to this day when I'm taking things in/out of my laptop bag for business travel my wife still asks if I need anything and then says, "that's what makes this so difficult."  and we have a laugh before I leave town.  Always loved that episode and how helpful she is whenever I pack for work.  /csb
I never found out what happened to that kid at the office up there.  I'd like to think he prepared the proper reports some day after that.

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Paul Wesley

Paul Wesley 3289

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On 5/4/2021 at 6:08 PM, Lobo said:

csb/ this was probably almost 17-18 years ago.  It was an era when hardsided briefcases were still somewhat common, the laptop bag or backpack or rolling case was quite rare.  I was visiting a field office in the midwest and took a younger guy with me to a fairly important meeting.  I was meeting him at the client's office and sent him a list of some documents to print and bring with him from his local office.  I told him to bring them in a briefcase or some kinda professional looking bag, no backpacks or loose.  He shows up in what is obviously his dad's or granddad's briefcase.  We start sorting them in advance of the conference room.  All that's in the briefcase was the manila file, a pack of gum, and his keys.  I told him, "okay Kramer, don't let anybody see the inside of this briefcase until we leave."  He never understood the reference, I never talked to him again, and to this day when I'm taking things in/out of my laptop bag for business travel my wife still asks if I need anything and then says, "that's what makes this so difficult."  and we have a laugh before I leave town.  Always loved that episode and how helpful she is whenever I pack for work.  /csb

I never found out what happened to that kid at the office up there.  I'd like to think he prepared the proper reports some day after that.

When I was 17, I got a traffic ticket around Wimberly, and I didn’t think I deserved it.  So I showed up to my hearing, which wasn't really a hearing at all... just a 70-something year old judge just kicking back in his office, with his clerk outside making sure I had a punitive 30- minute wait for daring to show up.  
 

I wanted to look respectful, but the only “briefcase” I owned was one that was made to carry cassette tapes.  Dumped those out.  But if you looked inside, you’d know immediately what the case was for. 
 

He listened to me plead my case, and nodded his head very graciously, and said, “Son you can pay (the secretary) as you leave.”

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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We have a little Kramer in our personalities, whether we want to admit it or not.  

Speaking of cassette tapes...

"Hey, and by the way, that Walkman was broke when you gave it to me." 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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One guy liked "Two and a Half Men" more than "Seinfeld" and Biff lost his fucking mind. 

Actually, it's more nuanced than that.  

It does actually serve an interesting purpose---you forget how many shows Seinfeld has influenced in the short ~20 years it's been off the air.  And you forget how many other shitty shows before and after are considered "influential"  

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