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Roy Moore will never be Governor of Alabama.

Cheeseweasel

By Cheeseweasel
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26284

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12 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

No way he can beat Sessions if he runs. 

Moore makes his money by running. If elected, he makes his money by getting kicked out. He makes no money by actually winning and holding office.

A quick defeat will free him up for the next money-raising campaign.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

Moore makes his money by running. If elected, he makes his money by getting kicked out. He makes no money by actually winning and holding office.

A quick defeat will free him up for the next money-raising campaign.

My man!

170829-joel-osteen-mc-900_efc9b4cc784537

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Bama Chick

Bama Chick 28596

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Good deal.

Gives Jones a fighting chance to keep the seat and will motivate turnout amongst women and POC.

And it’s always fun to kick around a piece of pedo theocratic garbage.

Also Sassy will be more active on Twitter again! So it’s a win-win-win.

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Js1

Js1 85115

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35 minutes ago, Bama Chick said:

Good deal.

Gives Jones a fighting chance to keep the seat and will motivate turnout amongst women and POC.

And it’s always fun to kick around a piece of pedo theocratic garbage.

Also Sassy will be more active on Twitter again! So it’s a win-win-win.

Either Jones pulls off another upset because the GOP is still pissed at Moore for losing that seat

Or Moore wins, Democrats get to use that as ammo for years, and either way, Moore will vote exactly as any other Republican from Alabama would - whatever Mitch tells them to do.  In fact, Moore might be the kind of stonewall shit just to piss off Mitch. 

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RDCanecutter

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There's no entitled Luther Strange being "given" the Senate seat, thus bringing on rebellious votes for Roy "Back Before The Whole State Knew About Me and Them Girls Down at the Mall" Moore, thus no goat-rope giving Doug Jones a way to line up a kill shot.

Most likely the Republicans show enough discipline to get it back, in spite of some last gasp of Hollywood Money.

However, it is Alabama, so there's plenty of time for it to turn into nekkid midget circus clowns wrasslin in a tub of rubber fishing lures.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89452

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Your typical GOP voter is not the brightest bulb in the bunch these days, but I’d guess some of them would realize that if Moore gets in, he’s going to have one helluva axe to grind with Turtle and Donnie.  And Donnie Jr.seems pretty close to saying something stupid towards Moore that could cause some backlash in Alabama.  

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Blotto

Blotto 23434

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4 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Your typical GOP voter is not the brightest bulb in the bunch these days, but I’d guess some of them would realize that if Moore gets in, he’s going to have one helluva axe to grind with Turtle and Donnie.  And Donnie Jr.seems pretty close to saying something stupid towards Moore that could cause some backlash in Alabama.  

lulz at the thought of these hayseeds caught in a moral quandary struggling whether to back Roy Moore or Don Jr. 

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atomheartbevo

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Just now, Blotto said:

lulz at the thought of these hayseeds caught in a moral quandary struggling whether to back Roy Moore or Don Jr. 

Jr is dumb enough to retweet something that calls them a bunch of sister-fuckers. This will upset the small percentage of those who are, in fact, fucking their sisters. 

Cause you can’t spell incest without SEC.

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suddenly shaggy

suddenly shaggy 929

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51 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

There's no entitled Luther Strange being "given" the Senate seat, thus bringing on rebellious votes for Roy "Back Before The Whole State Knew About Me and Them Girls Down at the Mall" Moore, thus no goat-rope giving Doug Jones a way to line up a kill shot.

Most likely the Republicans show enough discipline to get it back, in spite of some last gasp of Hollywood Money.

However, it is Alabama, so there's plenty of time for it to turn into nekkid midget circus clowns wrasslin in a tub of rubber fishing lures.

 

33ypxx.jpg

Edited by suddenly shaggy
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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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Just now, Lobo said:

Wouldn't the best chance of beating this pederass psycho, be to primary him out?  

Yes. However he has a solid 20% following (stronger than Manson's gang). And with a large Republican field, there will need to be a runoff. Moore will likely garner enough votes for the runoff and then (maybe) the party will realize what a shitbag he is and he'll lose in the runoff.

But it's Alabama, so a meth-addled squirrel has a decent shot.

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Js1

Js1 85115

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4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Yes. However he has a solid 20% following (stronger than Manson's gang). And with a large Republican field, there will need to be a runoff. Moore will likely garner enough votes for the runoff and then (maybe) the party will realize what a shitbag he is and he'll lose in the runoff.

But it's Alabama, so a meth-addled squirrel has a decent shot. 

Except in a runoff, the winner tends to be who has the most rabid following. See: 2017 primary runoff between Strange and Moore.  See also:  2012 primary runoff between David Dewhurst and Ted Cruz

You have to get your people to show up twice.  The Christian Warriors will show up for the holiest of men Roy Moore and his crusade against the wicked and the atheists.

Edited by Js1
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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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1 minute ago, Js1 said:

Except in a runoff, the winner tends to be who has the most rabid following. See: 2017 primary runoff between Strange and Moore.  See also:  2012 primary runoff between David Dewhurst and Ted Cruz

You have to get your people to show up twice.  The Christian Warriors will show up for the holiest of men Roy Moore and his crusade against the wicked and the atheists.

Anything is possible, but Moore won't pull 50% in the runoff. The Anti-Moore backlash will be huge. YUUUUGE.

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Js1

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2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Anything is possible, but Moore won't pull 50% in the runoff. The Anti-Moore backlash will be huge. YUUUUGE.

Depends who gets in there with him.  A milquetoast Republican may not be able to generate enthusiasm for a runoff. 

This is still Alabama.  Moore got 48.3% of the vote.

Fuck Alabama. It would be par for the course.  Especially if Trump and McConnell go all in on his opponent.  That backfired on Strange so badly. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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46 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Moore got 48.3% of the vote

Against a commie lubrul baby killin' jesus hatin' democrat!

Anyone else would have won by a landslide. It was the perfect storm for Jones to win. Not saying it can't happen again, but I'd be shocked.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26284

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2 hours ago, Js1 said:

Fuck Alabama. It would be par for the course.  Especially if Trump and McConnell go all in on his opponent.  That backfired on Strange so badly. 

Strange backfired on Strange, because he got raised up by a crooked Governor who should have been prosecuted on his way out, except Strange didn't prosecute him. (Believe it or not, Alabama in the past couple of decades enjoys seeing crooks get prosecuted. If I were a young, crooked Alabama politician, I'd buy a big belt buckle and carpet-bag somewhere farther west where I'd be left to prosper.)

Also, Strange took the condescension to 11 with ads where he posed with a truck that had had mud carefully daubed on it by makeup artists. Strange hails from Homewood/Mountain Brook, which is about as truck-muddy as Westchester County in NY. At that point, Moore was thought to be crazy but not molesty. Probably won the primary on a "Fuck YOU, Luther Strange" wave.

Anyway, it was Governor Skeletor Bentley and Let's Make Our Politics More Like Mexico Strange who created the rare environment where Moore and Jones could both get as far as they did.

I'll vote for Jones again, and hope that the Republican is somebody more like Merrill.

Wouldn't put it past Moore to go third party.

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elfenix

elfenix 34172

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If I were a young, crooked Alabama politician, I'd buy a big belt buckle and carpet-bag somewhere farther west where I'd be left to prosper.)
Also, Strange took the condescension to 11 with ads where he posed with a truck that had had mud carefully daubed on it by makeup artists. Strange hails from Homewood/Mountain Brook, which is about as truck-muddy as Westchester County in NY.



Already been done:
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26284

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Don't count Byrne out. He pulls off a really mean "Walk slowly through a field carrying a shotgun talking about God almost as if you regularly carry shotguns or think about God, while non-manipulative profound chords of music rise from the very soil beneath your feet" Political ad.

A Bradley Byrne WSTAFCASTAGAAIYRCSOTAGWNMPCOMRFTVSBYF ad is a thing to be reckoned with.

Republicans could have beaten Jones last time if they'd run "Nobody" on the ballot instead of Moore. Byrne seems close to that ideal.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26284

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2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

This is going to be some Ultraconservative Bama fan's most difficult decision ever. His head may explode.

Bama fandom vaccinated us against Tim James who lost the nomination by a few hundred votes after his "As Governor, I'd fire Saban" joke.

Of course, we got Skeletor instead, until the constellations aligned to make Skeletor seek a mortal love-mate. ("Every mummy movie is a love story"-- Mrs. Canecutter.) But we'd probably still be stuck with Tim James.

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