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Roy Moore will never be Governor of Alabama.

Cheeseweasel

By Cheeseweasel
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TahoeHorn

TahoeHorn 107

Posted
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8 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

I see Roy&Kayla as 90% Scam Artist and 10% Anything Else.

They know the language of Old Time Religion, so that is what they speak to get their scam on. If, instead, they could speak finance, medical, or tech, they'd be scamming a la Madoff or Theranos.

That's my view too.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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9 minutes ago, TahoeHorn said:

That's my view too.

Who knows, if Roy had met a nice teenage girl while he was kickboxing in Galveston, he could have been the charismatic "Bow To Your Sensei!" leader of a string of dojos, with soccer moms dropping off Little Johnny to learn the Spinning Ritalin Kick in between paying extra for belt tests.

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

Who knows, if Roy had met a nice teenage girl while he was kickboxing in Galveston, he could have been the charismatic "Bow To Your Sensei!" leader of a string of dojos, with soccer moms dropping off Little Johnny to learn the Spinning Ritalin Kick in between paying extra for belt tests.

The island proper doesn't cotton to his type but he'd fit right in just across the causeway. Mainland Galveston County might as well be Bama. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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On 6/9/2018 at 12:27 PM, RDCanecutter said:

Who knows, if Roy had met a nice teenage girl while he was kickboxing in Galveston, he could have been the charismatic "Bow To Your Sensei!" leader of a string of dojos, with soccer moms dropping off Little Johnny to learn the Spinning Ritalin Kick in between paying extra for belt tests.

I'd pay money to see Uncle Roy in a pair of these:

 

cb9f6866404701ebbae6a0bc43df69de.jpg

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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On 5/14/2018 at 6:42 PM, Bama Chick said:

Oh, I could share some old shitty college gossip about Ole Twinkle (I had lots of friends that were ADPis at AU with her) but I'm afraid someone might be able to figure out who I am if I tell it.

I don't care for her much.

Twankle is trying to make Ainsworth's college hijinks plus a boating ticket look like Al Capone.

Twankle has decided that all infractions render one unfit to deny Twankle her next political office.

Twankle has spoken.

 

Context: from what I've seen of Ainsworth, he's the worst kind of goob and if I saw him in a bar I'd introduce him to someone I didn't like so he'd go bother them instead. But he's not Twankle Fucking-Cavanaugh, incoherent even by swilled-too-many-mimosas standards.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

Twankle is trying to make Ainsworth's college hijinks plus a boating ticket look like Al Capone.

Twankle has decided that all infractions render one unfit to deny Twankle her next political office.

Twankle has spoken.

 

Context: from what I've seen of Ainsworth, he's the worst kind of goob and if I saw him in a bar I'd introduce him to someone I didn't like so he'd go bother them instead. But he's not Twankle Fucking-Cavanaugh, incoherent even by swilled-too-many-mimosas standards.

Props to Ainsworth for this ad though:

 

 

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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29 minutes ago, relapse98 said:

Is Roy just gonna overlook the fact that Sacha is in fact a Jew.

And the bullshit about Alabama always supporting Israel. I'm pretty sure the KKK was not a fan of jews.

A lifetime ago I attended Belmont College (now University) in Nashville and I had a history professor from Selma. Very genteel Baptist fella and not all that bad a prof, all things considered. We came around to talking about the Klan in the 1940s, when Truman was in office, and one of Truman's aides brought him a Ku Klux Klan "katalogue" or something. Truman, a former haberdasher himself, noted that a full set of Klan robes was about $75 or some other huge sum for 1948. "Well, boys," he told his aides, "it looks like there is at least one Jew in the Klan."

I can't believe a professor could get away with telling a story like that in my lifetime, but there it was. And zero shits were given -- in fact we all thought it was hilarious. 

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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1 hour ago, relapse98 said:

Is Roy just gonna overlook the fact that Sacha is in fact a Jew.

And the bullshit about Alabama always supporting Israel. I'm pretty sure the KKK was not a fan of jews.

Can't speak for the Hill-folk, but in the old river towns my folks came from, Jewish families were pretty well established as respected locals, friends, classmates.  Bear Stearns actually got their start in Montgomery (what pride I feel), little Selma had two synagogues at one time, mom worked for the Hohenbergs, we'd shop at Lilienthals, Bartons, Myers-- wouldn't have been a downtown Selma without them. Whole string of Jewish mayors in Selma at one time.

As for Israel, my first knowledge of modern Israel was my dad hooting in disbelief at the 1967 war. Dad was a veteran and less than impressed with the Arab efforts, told me they had ganged up on Israel and the "Jews beat their britches off!"

Ability to deliver an ass-whooping was and is respected. Later that week when the Sunday School teacher said we should pray for peace in the Middle East, I crowed that we didn't need to pray, "The Jews already beat their britches off!" She stared at me like someone looking at Damien.

So that is the view from the Spanish-moss River-boat true Old-South Alabama. I don't know what they thought up in Gadsden or Jasper or other such semi-Tennessee-ish haunts.

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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33 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Name?

I see Dr Sims wrote a book on Big Jim Fulsom.

He was the subject of a Hell Week song I had to sing a cappella to the whole chapter out in the woods to avoid getting all our asses lit up:

 

Quote

She was poor but she was honest 
Victim of a rich man's whim 
When she met that country gentleman Big Jim Folsom 
And she had a child by him. 

 
Now the moral of this story (story, story) 
Is don't ever take a ride 
With that ____ country gentleman Big Jim Folsom 
And you'll be a virgin bride. 

 

It's the same the whole world over, 
It's the poor what gets the blame; 
It's the rich what gets the pleasure; 
Ain't it all a bleedin' shame? 

 

Except in our version there was a verse in there about how "now she sells her ass in Cullman, Alabama-bama, ain't it a low-down dirty shame"

 

Don't know how that Bama folklore infiltrated a Texas fraternity house, but it sure as hell did. 

 

 

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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14 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Seeing that his daddy's name is Elwood is puro Selma

Probably was a productive member of society. Modern Selma uppity-doctah-lawyah usage is, for boys, string together several old last names as first names so folks can know your family "dug the river". For girls, first name must be "Mary" followed by various ancestral female first names. (They weigh girl babies, and the smaller the girl, the longer the names they give her.)

That's white Selma. If you're black, you either go 100% traditional and practical, eg "David", or else you drop acid and start pawing at Scrabble tiles.

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Kyrie Eleison

Kyrie Eleison 9312

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this Showtime thing Cohen created sure has caused a lot of pre-emptive bullshit from Moore, Palin, Cheney (he had Cheney autograph a "waterboard kit"), et al.  they must come off looking like bigger dumbasses than they already do, which is a helluva thing.

ima have to see this... 

 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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21 minutes ago, Kyrie Eleison said:

this Showtime thing Cohen created sure has caused a lot of pre-emptive bullshit from Moore, Palin, Cheney (he had Cheney autograph a "waterboard kit"), et al.  they must come off looking like bigger dumbasses than they already do, which is a helluva thing.

ima have to see this... 

 

No doubt. Free advertising!

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Or Twinkle. 

No lie -- one of my best buddy's had a mom named Twinkle, but she had come to Nashville from Texarkana. Her husband Willie was the golf pro at Belle Meade Country Club. They were indulged as necessary tools by the elite, but not exactly the types one had over for the backyard fundraiser.

My other best friend had a cousin named Buffy...

Looking back, I grew up a notch below the tier of Southern society where most of the boys have three last names and no first name.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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22 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

 

Wonder if Will Ainsworth is still "pro-Trump?"

In Alabama? All politicians with an R next to their name run the same ad:

I'm:

  • Pro Trump
  • Anti Abortion
  • "Strong" Christian
  • Something Something Swamp
  • Bla Bla Immigration
  • Something bad about Obama

My opponent:

  • Hates Jesus
  • Wants to kill your babies
  • Hates Trump
  • Might be a Jew or Muslim.
  • Wants open borders
  • Loves that Muslim Obama.
  • Thinks Nancy Pelosi is awesome

This ad was paid for by those Great Americans supporting Candidate A.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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Thing is, if his shenanigans with the meal funds hadn't been reported, he might still be sheriff.

If he's still sheriff, this woman is probably too scared to tell this stuff.

Actual mother-fuckin journalism taking out the trash.

Hope he enjoyed that beach house.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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9 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

I can't imagine he's the only high sheriff in Bama (or many other states) using the jail as his harem and the evidence locker as his stately pleasure dome. 

I think if we jail 3 generations of all politicians, we may get an honest batch. We are on the 2nd generation of political jailbirds locally.

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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33 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Bama folk on this board need to lift up on they hind legs today and go vote against empty-eyed Twinkle and Chucky-doll-head Troy.

And for Dial. Do it, else I'll play the jingle again.

Done and done.

Couldn't vote for Dial though. That last ad accusing Pate of beating his wife was over the top.

PLAY THE JINGLE, BOYO!

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26858

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4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Done and done.

Couldn't vote for Dial though. That last ad accusing Pate of beating his wife was over the top.

PLAY THE JINGLE, BOYO!

On thy head be it.

This will be what you hear as I leap across the wobbly concrete table and start tearing your trachea out:

 

Edited by RDCanecutter
i have chosen to be sensitive to the needs of others.
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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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Bama gets too much shit on here, much of it deserved, but damn there are some good people there too.

 

Quote

When a young Birmingham college student's car broke down the night before he was supposed to start a new job, he didn't panic. At least not for long.

Instead, Walter Carr walked. From Homewood to Pelham. All night. In the dark. 20 miles or more.

A Carver High School graduate and U.S. Marine hopeful, Carr walked throughout the early morning hours Friday because he needed, and wanted, the job with Bellhops moving company. He made it to Hoover by 2 a.m. and then to Pelham at 4 a.m.

It was in Pelham that the trek took a surprising turn. Kindness and concern from four Pelham police officers coupled with publicly posted words of amazement and admiration from the moving company's clients about Carr's work ethic and dedication, led to a massive pat on the back Monday from Bellhops CEO Luke Marklin.

Marklin drove in from Tennessee under the guise of meeting Carr for coffee to personally thank him. That meeting ended with Marklin surprising Carr by giving Carr his own barely-driven 2014 Ford Escape.

"I am honestly blown away by him,'' Marklin said of Carr. "Everything he did that day is exactly who we are - heart and grit. So far, he's batting 1,000."

An emotional Carr had just one word when Marklin handed him the keys. "Seriously?"

 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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9 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

Twinkle down. Troy King sent howling back to the pits of Mordor. Heathen bastards voted against Gerald Dial and his heavenly jingle.

All is right in Bama again. Thank goodness that their will be no Dial ad in the General. 

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