I've seen the ants. They have a good time.

[Trey3216 15343]

37 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

52 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

You selfish bastard. How dare you think of your future and not our need for Jimmy's Hot Takes.

[lateshow 1304]

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

You mean you don't head down to at least visit with Dirt Bike? You're a real prick, you know that. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

You had 1 job !!!!

[MissingInAction 25004]

Dude! You are our moses, and Jimmy the burning bush!

How dare you leave us lost in the desert!

[Prepuce of Doom 21052]

You need to say to hell with worlds colliding and get one of your employees on here to do your old job.

We're all counting on you. 

[CooterBrown 18002]

She had 4 dogs and a chihuahua

And I got this tin mug, that's made out of tin. It's metal. I know that.

There are 3 positions in baseball that I just don't play: #1) infield, and #2) pitcher or catcher

Easy as peasy

I was makin' lettuce wraps, and I made them with.....lettuce.

I like podcasts, but I hate the talking.

I read that a sandwich was named after the Earl of Sandwich. Seems like it should be because the fixin's are sandwiched between bread.

There are really only two types of clowns...the murdering kind and the buggering kind.  It tough deciding which one to hire for your kid's birthday party since both are funny in their own way.

Scott, I ain't your fuck monkey

I was on the shitter and decided to make peace with myself.

My only regret in life is not taking enough chances.

Tina booked a trip to Vietnam. I hope none of the guys my dad killed are still around.

Weird morning. I woke up from a dream.

My softball team isn't any good but we're drunk and happy.

 

 

[Trey3216 15343]

Yes!!!!!!!!

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Viet Cong ghosts? Lemme guess, "Bu Nguyen".

[Trey3216 15343]

I will most certainly be using "I ain't your fuck monkey"  

[Trey3216 15343]

37 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Viet Cong ghosts? Lemme guess, "Bu Nguyen".

Phan Than 

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3868]

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

I was on the shitter and decided to make peace with myself.

 

We've all had that moment.

[Zepol87 9185]

Oh man still so good. 

Fuck monkey and vietnam ghosts are fucking awesome

[ztejas 43411]

On 3/26/2018 at 9:41 AM, CooterBrown said:

My dad went over right during the hype of Vietnam.

This is without doubt my favorite

[Trey3216 15343]

22 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Dude! You are our moses, and Jimmy the burning bush!

How dare you leave us lost in the desert!

Username checks out

[MissingInAction 25004]

3 hours ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

We've all had that moment.

Shitting is one of the many things which not only make us human, but also make us a community. 

See shart thead.

Edited April 25, 2019 by MissingInAction

[Prepuce of Doom 21052]

That's a solid batch. 

What do we know about Jimmy's offspring, other than he/she is apparently (annually?) subjected to dangerous birthday clowns?

[CooterBrown 18002]

14 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

What do we know about Jimmy's offspring, other than he/she is apparently (annually?) subjected to dangerous birthday clowns?

His boys are like 21 and 19.

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21052]

How many failed to reach the age of majority due to death by misadventure? 

Edited April 26, 2019 by Prepuce of Doom

[Fuck Tim Beck 3815]

Clowns do have a penchant for buggery. No denying that. 

[luke duke 6412]

I will check tomorrow. I moved to a new role and had all my old employees move to the other end of the building away from me so I don’t hear regular updates like I used to.

How are you able to manage them so far from the grill and fryer?

[El Diablo 4232]

There's not many places that I haven't "made peace" with myself, I just never knew to call it that.

[Rimbo 25908]

On 4/25/2019 at 10:23 AM, CooterBrown said:

 There are really only two types of clowns...the murdering kind and the buggering kind.  It tough deciding which one to hire for your kid's birthday party since both are funny in their own way.

 

Jeffrey Dahmer. Both for the price of one.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

Jeffrey Dahmer. Both for the price of one.

John Wayne Gacey, but we quibble over names.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

11 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

John Wayne Gacey, but we quibble over names.

I assume he was channeling Jimmy?

[Gardner Barnes 1562]

Someone remind me.

Didn’t jimmy have a truck he called the ghost but it was black and he drove into a lake or something?

[MillerEP 30447]

Ahh, took me too long to rediscover this thread.

[workswithseed 2088]

33 minutes ago, Gardner Barnes said:

Someone remind me.

Didn’t jimmy have a truck he called the ghost but it was black and he drove into a lake or something?

I don't think he drove it into a lake, but yes to everything else

[MissingInAction 25004]

[elfenix 34221]

The clown bit has me rolling

[BlueGreySky 1002]

In a meeting and just openly laughed at "Scott, I ain't your fuck monkey." 

There was no sense in hiding it - so I just said a friend emailed me something funny a co-worker said and I made the mistake of reading it in here.  They asked me to share.  They too agree it is a gem and hysterical. 

That'll teach me to read Surly while in meetings (Ron Howard's voice: It won't.)

[CooterBrown 18002]

Tina's dad always told me not to waste my money on the scotchguard fertilizer at Home Depot. They sell that for the fruity package. 

 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

I scotchguarded my lawn once. Didn't need to cut it for like 6 months.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3815]

Yep. Spilled some wine once. Never even stained the grass 

[CooterBrown 18002]

"I'm daddy to 11 kittens, coach.  They're all at least 18 millimeters long."

"I just realized that you spell it ahead like ahead but you don't spell a little like alittle"

"Tina came home and said she wanted a divorce. I said okay, your cooch was done anyway."

[lateshow 1304]

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

"Tina came home and said she wanted a divorce. I said okay, your cooch was done anyway."

Atta boy

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

The one about Richard III and the parking lot is so damn funny.

[CooterBrown 18002]

Well, it’s the end of the line for Jimmy. Since he’s not in my chain of command any longer, this is third hand info.

Since his divorce, he was drinking way more than usual and started drunk texting and calling everyone on his team at 2-4AM. He finally did it enough to the wrong person and they complained about harassment. He was on paid leave for a few weeks and then told not to come back.

[Guadaloopy 10955]

Talk about an emotional roller coaster.   First the excitement at seeing a Dirt Bike thread update... and it’s this.  

[Kyrie Eleison 9312]

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

[luke duke 6412]

Well, it’s the end of the line for Jimmy. Since he’s not in my chain of command any longer, this is third hand info.

Since his divorce, he was drinking way more than usual and started drunk texting and calling everyone on his team at 2-4AM. He finally did it enough to the wrong person and they complained about harassment. He was on paid leave for a few weeks and then told not to come back.

Tell ROFLBOX to hire him so we can continue to get updates.

[workswithseed 2088]

Edited January 22, 2020 by workswithseed
Seriously

[Incredulity 11646]

I fucking hate HR.

 

They ruin everything.

[tejas60 3532]

got damnit!

[gernblansten 3196]

This isn't the first time a worn out cooch has ruined things, but it is the worst time.  

[Fuck Tim Beck 3815]

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

 

Tell ROFLBOX to hire him so we can continue to get updates.

 

Or Bob. Then we can get all the updates first hand. 

[cactusflinthead 27598]

[MissingInAction 25004]

[Chooky 13307]

The buggering kind: