Would it be wrong if...

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

The sign on our door is hand written, and says: "By appointment only today, please" and ends by asking folk to call the number of our dedicated spam call phone which says I am on a very important video call.

This not only deters 99% of solicitors, but also friends and acquaintances who haven't had the good sense to call, text, or IM before dropping by.

The last person who knocked uninvited is a former friend who is running for office.

[GotThatFire 166]

9 hours ago, Steamboat1874 said:

I do not keep dogs in my house.

They are for outside.

Negged.

[NateHitch 1282]

I either don't answer the door or open it a foot or so and slam it.  Did get caught by JH folks when I was working in the garage a few months ago.  I feigned interest for a few min and then said "Well I'm interested but I just don't know for sure, it's all so confusing"  Waited for her to start talking and flipped on the table saw and started cutting a piece of 1/4" plywood into strips.  Dumb bitch stood there for about 30 seconds before getting the point and walked away.  Wasted some plywood but was well worth it.

[Bernard 879]

1. Train your dog not to go ape shit.

2. Crooks knock on doors too. They want to make sure you're not home before breaking in and stealing your shit. 

Bernard

[Guest]

23 minutes ago, Bernard said:

1. Train your dog not to go ape shit.

 

Bullshit.  that's exactly what i want them to do.

When they see us cool with the visitors, they cool too.

 

If not, they are pissed.

 

If they are past the threshhold of our front door, they are on a leash or possibly a doucher who knocked...

[Bernard 879]

If you like it, why are you complaining?

Bernard

[Guest]

38 minutes ago, Bernard said:

If you like it, why are you complaining?

Bernard

Obtuse much?

It isn't about the dogs, it's about the motherfuckers knocking on my door who KNOW they shouldn't fucking be there.

[ROFL BOX 6647]

17 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Just ask if they have time to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Flying Spaghetti Monster.

R'amen

[Superhero 8828]

I used to open the door holding a 10” chef knife, telling them I’m in the middle of cooking. Then I yell at an imaginary person in the apartment, telling them to get back into the f’ing closet ‘til I come get them.

[GroovusHorn 16]

To the OP. I had the same problem. Why can someone come on my property and disturb me. Should be illegal IMO. Anywho, I put a hand written note that says "Please do not knock or ring doorbell. Baby sleeping." I put it up about 3 months ago and haven't had a single person knock or ring doorbell. Glorious!

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

6 hours ago, Superhero said:

I used to open the door holding a 10” chef knife, telling them I’m in the middle of cooking. Then I yell at an imaginary person in the apartment, telling them to get back into the f’ing closet ‘til I come get them.

Good times...... goooood times.......

[Brisketexan 105071]

Open the door while masturbating furiously, and ask "did you come here to help me with this?"

[stc 1460]

14 hours ago, Bernard said:

1. Train your dog not to go ape shit.

2. Crooks knock on doors too. They want to make sure you're not home before breaking in and stealing your shit. 

Bernard

#2 is the reason you want dogs to go apeshit. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

Just now, stc said:

#2 is the reason you want dogs to go apeshit. 

Our dog would show him right to the silver then ask if the burglar had a treat for his troubles....

[clapclapclap 9000]

You need to stop them from reaching the doorbell.

[Slacks 6819]

Im gonna make a sign....

NO SOLICITING. NO TRESSPASSERS.

We assume all who disregard this posted notice do so with the intent to cause us harm. When we answer, it is to defend ourselves from harm. We fear for our lives and will defend ourselves with lethal force.

I wish a Mfer would.

[Biff Tannen 45665]

9 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Open the door while masturbating furiously, and ask "did you come here to help me with this?"