Cruz vs Beto

[Pancho 45044]

I haven’t seen not 1 Cruz sign ITL in Houston. Headed to Katy for s work thing this afternoon, so I suspect they’ll be out that way.

[Biff Tannen 45747]

Travis County will go for Beto.  No surprise there are signs.  Don't make a shit if he doesn't win over red counties.

[pyrohornIII 4823]

1 hour ago, Pancho Negro said:

Really wish someone would turn these Cruz comments into commercials. 

Deep narrator voice: “ted Cruz thinks debating on Friday nights during Texas high school football season is actually a good idea.”

”ted Cruz hates Whatsburger”

”is Ted Cruz even a real Texan”

”Beto loves both Whataburger and Friday night high school football games. Vote Beto!”

 

Next Beto commercial:   Cruz standing at one of two podiums, the second is empty.  Cut away to Beto at a HS football game, eating a Whataburger. 

You could use any of your tag lines then.  The first political commercial meme. 

1 hour ago, Message Board User said:

Average age of everyone in this picture - roughly 86.

 

Average Only race: White

Edited August 10, 2018 by pyrohornIII

[Brisketexan 105408]

Have you ever gotten a side salad at a burger joint? [shot of sad limp salad]

And then your friend got the triple cheeseburger, with extra jalapenos and grilled onions? [shot of tasty burger, with all the stickers on the wrapper]

You just got out-Whataburgered.  Don't get out-Whataburgered.....vote for the Texan.  Vote for the triple meat cheeseburger.  Vote for BETO.

[ERhine 1908]

Just so we’re clear, all of these are being voiced by the Whataburger guy, right?

[VinceYoungsTutor 112]

1 hour ago, Message Board User said:

Average age of everyone in this picture - roughly 86.

 

 

Average projection in this poll:  https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2018/senate/tx/texas_senate_cruz_vs_orourke-6310.html

+6.5%

 

Love the excitement, though...i feel an rowdy moral victory coming

 

 

[texas08 1599]

Beto has so much ammo to work with...

He doesn’t even have to bring up what a lap dog for Dotard Rafael is...

Felito is already throwing jabs...Beto just chillin, probably smoking a joint scheming and laying low until it’s time to put that dog out of his misery

[Blotto 23584]

Caption on that photo...

Quote

Senator Ted Cruz fields some difficult questions from the audience, during Thursdays campaign stop at Underwood's Cafeteria

Senator Cruz, I've heard that you insist  president Trump wear a condom when you suck him off. Why won't you swallow his load like the good Lord intended?

[Brisketexan 105408]

31 minutes ago, VinceYoungsTutor said:

 

Average projection in this poll:  https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2018/senate/tx/texas_senate_cruz_vs_orourke-6310.html

+6.5%

 

Love the excitement, though...i feel an rowdy moral victory coming

 

 

VYT: "NU is favored by 21 points!  Y'all are toast!"

James Brown: "Maybe we'll beat THEM by 21 points."

 

 

Roll Left, motherfucker.

I say we play the actual game, and see how it turns out.

[VinceYoungsTutor 112]

18 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

VYT: "NU is favored by 21 points!  Y'all are toast!"

James Brown: "Maybe we'll beat THEM by 21 points."

 

 

Roll Left, motherfucker.

I say we play the actual game, and see how it turns out.

That was a great game, and an even greater call...talk about king kong sized balls

[Brisketexan 105408]

14 minutes ago, VinceYoungsTutor said:

That was a great game, and an even greater call...talk about king kong sized balls

And, to bring it home...the only experience Ted has with balls is when they slap against his chin.

[SaucyJack 3504]

2 hours ago, Message Board User said:

Average age of everyone in this picture - roughly 86.

 

x, x, x, 12, 8, x, x, 16, x, 4, x, x, x, 9,x, x, x, 13, x, ....sorry, gotta get to meeting. 

[Hank Scorpio 17731]

I'm sorry, look at all these old fucking goblins at this thing: 

Let's go one by one: 

Beatrice

She has not missed a single city council meeting or church bingo in 35 years. She's was a clerk at the DMV her entire adult life and is now retired and receiving pension benefits, yet constantly complains about the size of the government and tax rates. She once touched Ronald Reagan's shoulder at a campaign event in 1980 and has not washed that hand since. She thinks all lives matter, not just black ones. 

Bernadette

Older sister of Beatrice, the two have not spoken since Beatrice touched Reagan as Bernadette alleges Beatrice slapped her hand out of the way to touch him first. They have lived in the same house their entire adult lives. Ted Cruz reminds her of her own son, Bernard, who she hasn't seen in 30 years because he got his ear pierced senior year and she threw him out of the house. She isn't exactly sure who Ted Cruz is, and is concerned that his last name ends in a Z, but she still supports him because Lincoln was a Republican. 

Joe

Joe is a retired Sheriff and came to see Cruz speak because he wanted to hear Cruz's position on building the wall. Joe believes that the wall is the only way to keep the residents of Brownwood safe, event though they are 100s of miles from the border. Joe has seen first hand the impact that illegal immigration has had on Brownwood from when he was a sheriff and he busted what he calls "the cartels" when he pulled over a 20 year old Hispanic man because he was bored and then found a roach in the car. Joe loves to tell anyone within earshot at the cafeteria how he wasn't afraid to testify at the trial and made sure the guy got 30 years in prison. In his free time, Joe watches Fox News and that's about it. 

Saul

Saul is the town mechanic down at Saul's Auto. He employs three Hispanic mechanics who do all of the repair work. He casually uses racial slurs around them and pays them below minimum wage and in cash. He smokes 3 packs of Marlboro Lights 100s a day. He's been rebuilding a '67 Camaro for the last 15 years but can't ever get it running and for some reason. He thinks the other mechanics are sabotaging it but he can't yet prove it, although Joe has some ideas of how they can set up a sting operation. 

Unknown

No one is really sure who this guy is or where he came from. When asked his name he replied "Under the laws of the Constitution I am a sovereign man and you cannot make me answer." He never misses a Ted Cruz speech, unless he is on duty monitoring Jade Helm exercises or on vacation in Charlottesville. 

Bill

Bill always comes to Underwood Cafeteria from his job at the plant on Thursdays for lunch, because Thursday is the meatloaf special, and Bill loves the meatloaf special. All Bill wanted to do was enjoy his meatloaf special, and then this asshole gets up and starts talking about god knows what. Bill should have known this was going to happen when he saw all these cunts like Joe and Beatrice in here. Bill just wants to eat his fucking meatloaf in peace. 

[tantric superman 4668]

I think you have Bernadette and Beatrice mixed up.

[ERhine 1908]

[Orca of Peace 109]

Hank Scorpio with a masterpiece. 

Edited August 10, 2018 by Orca of Peace

[Chooky 13319]

... uh

[Brisketexan 105408]

Those descriptions capture the residents of Brownwood -- and the customers of that cafeteria in particular -- better than you can even imagine.

[Js1 85596]

I am dying.

[Mojo Hand 4580]

If Beto has no chance, why are outside GOP groups ramping up spending for Cruz?   

[RDCanecutter 26475]

4 hours ago, Message Board User said:

Average age of everyone in this picture - roughly 86.

 

C.mon, man-- it's not always politics. Cruz was there to chew up the food into a more digestible form, then, like a mama bird, he vomited it into their gaping mouths.

[Brisketexan 105408]

17 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

C.mon, man-- it's not always politics. Cruz was there to chew up the food into a more digestible form, then, like a mama bird, he vomited it into their gaping mouths.

[Bozo_Casanova 26577]

3 hours ago, VinceYoungsTutor said:

 

Average projection in this poll:  https://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2018/senate/tx/texas_senate_cruz_vs_orourke-6310.html

+6.5%

 

Love the excitement, though...i feel an rowdy moral victory coming

 

 

I don't think Beto will win and I've been saying so for a while. But Republican interest groups are going to have to divert just a TON of money to support Cruz away from swing districts and closer senate races. That's got enormous strategic value.  

Edited August 10, 2018 by Bozo_Casanova

[Brisketexan 105408]

17 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

I don't think Beto will win and I've been saying to for a while. But Republican interest groups are going to have to divert just a TON of money to support Cruz away from swing districts and closer senate races. That's got enormous strategic value.  

To go with the football metaphor....Beto's a formidable enough opponent that the other team can't just play its second string and rest its starters for the national championship game in a few weeks.  AND.....it's an actual game.  Cruz may be favored.  He may have lots of advantages.  But sometimes, the team with those things STILL loses.  That's why they play the game.

[Ghost of LL 15544]

2 hours ago, Hank Scorpio said:

I'm sorry, look at all these old fucking goblins at this thing: 

Let's go one by one: 

Beatrice

She has not missed a single city council meeting or church bingo in 35 years. She's was a clerk at the DMV her entire adult life and is now retired and receiving pension benefits, yet constantly complains about the size of the government and tax rates. She once touched Ronald Reagan's shoulder at a campaign event in 1980 and has not washed that hand since. She thinks all lives matter, not just black ones. 

Bernadette

Older sister of Beatrice, the two have not spoken since Beatrice touched Reagan as Bernadette alleges Beatrice slapped her hand out of the way to touch him first. They have lived in the same house their entire adult lives. Ted Cruz reminds her of her own son, Bernard, who she hasn't seen in 30 years because he got his ear pierced senior year and she threw him out of the house. She isn't exactly sure who Ted Cruz is, and is concerned that his last name ends in a Z, but she still supports him because Lincoln was a Republican. 

Joe

Joe is a retired Sheriff and came to see Cruz speak because he wanted to hear Cruz's position on building the wall. Joe believes that the wall is the only way to keep the residents of Brownwood safe, event though they are 100s of miles from the border. Joe has seen first hand the impact that illegal immigration has had on Brownwood from when he was a sheriff and he busted what he calls "the cartels" when he pulled over a 20 year old Hispanic man because he was bored and then found a roach in the car. Joe loves to tell anyone within earshot at the cafeteria how he wasn't afraid to testify at the trial and made sure the guy got 30 years in prison. In his free time, Joe watches Fox News and that's about it. 

Saul

Saul is the town mechanic down at Saul's Auto. He employs three Hispanic mechanics who do all of the repair work. He casually uses racial slurs around them and pays them below minimum wage and in cash. He smokes 3 packs of Marlboro Lights 100s a day. He's been rebuilding a '67 Camaro for the last 15 years but can't ever get it running and for some reason. He thinks the other mechanics are sabotaging it but he can't yet prove it, although Joe has some ideas of how they can set up a sting operation. 

Unknown

No one is really sure who this guy is or where he came from. When asked his name he replied "Under the laws of the Constitution I am a sovereign man and you cannot make me answer." He never misses a Ted Cruz speech, unless he is on duty monitoring Jade Helm exercises or on vacation in Charlottesville. 

Bill

Bill always comes to Underwood Cafeteria from his job at the plant on Thursdays for lunch, because Thursday is the meatloaf special, and Bill loves the meatloaf special. All Bill wanted to do was enjoy his meatloaf special, and then this asshole gets up and starts talking about god knows what. Bill should have known this was going to happen when he saw all these cunts like Joe and Beatrice in here. Bill just wants to eat his fucking meatloaf in peace. 

[kevwun 15925]

Goddmanit Scorpio, you just painted your masterpiece.

[texas08 1599]

Brilliant piece by Scorpio!

*standing ovation*

Those two sisters remind me of Patty and Selma, Marge Simpson’s sisters.

[Orca of Peace 109]

maybe they'll all die by Nov 6

[Js1 85596]

29 minutes ago, texas08 said:

Brilliant piece by Scorpio!

*standing ovation*

Those two sisters remind me of Patty and Selma, Marge Simpson’s sisters.

Yes. Chain smokers and everything.

[Orca of Peace 109]

[Gil Bang 26045]

https://store.txdemocrats.org/triple-meat-whataburger-liberal/

 

get your swag here!

[Huckleberry 33108]

This reminds me of the time when that Gutierrez guy "warned" us that if Hillary Clinton won there would be a taco truck on every corner. Dude made the best argument I ever heard to vote for her.

[RPM 26358]

50 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

https://store.txdemocrats.org/triple-meat-whataburger-liberal/

 

get your swag here!

Damn straight. Own that shit and rub it in their out of touch face. Best counterpunch I've seen from Texas Dems in a long time.

[JimmyJames 12271]

7 hours ago, Hank Scorpio said:

I'm sorry, look at all these old fucking goblins at this thing: 

Let's go one by one: 

Beatrice

She has not missed a single city council meeting or church bingo in 35 years. She's was a clerk at the DMV her entire adult life and is now retired and receiving pension benefits, yet constantly complains about the size of the government and tax rates. She once touched Ronald Reagan's shoulder at a campaign event in 1980 and has not washed that hand since. She thinks all lives matter, not just black ones. 

Bernadette

Older sister of Beatrice, the two have not spoken since Beatrice touched Reagan as Bernadette alleges Beatrice slapped her hand out of the way to touch him first. They have lived in the same house their entire adult lives. Ted Cruz reminds her of her own son, Bernard, who she hasn't seen in 30 years because he got his ear pierced senior year and she threw him out of the house. She isn't exactly sure who Ted Cruz is, and is concerned that his last name ends in a Z, but she still supports him because Lincoln was a Republican. 

Joe

Joe is a retired Sheriff and came to see Cruz speak because he wanted to hear Cruz's position on building the wall. Joe believes that the wall is the only way to keep the residents of Brownwood safe, event though they are 100s of miles from the border. Joe has seen first hand the impact that illegal immigration has had on Brownwood from when he was a sheriff and he busted what he calls "the cartels" when he pulled over a 20 year old Hispanic man because he was bored and then found a roach in the car. Joe loves to tell anyone within earshot at the cafeteria how he wasn't afraid to testify at the trial and made sure the guy got 30 years in prison. In his free time, Joe watches Fox News and that's about it. 

Saul

Saul is the town mechanic down at Saul's Auto. He employs three Hispanic mechanics who do all of the repair work. He casually uses racial slurs around them and pays them below minimum wage and in cash. He smokes 3 packs of Marlboro Lights 100s a day. He's been rebuilding a '67 Camaro for the last 15 years but can't ever get it running and for some reason. He thinks the other mechanics are sabotaging it but he can't yet prove it, although Joe has some ideas of how they can set up a sting operation. 

Unknown

No one is really sure who this guy is or where he came from. When asked his name he replied "Under the laws of the Constitution I am a sovereign man and you cannot make me answer." He never misses a Ted Cruz speech, unless he is on duty monitoring Jade Helm exercises or on vacation in Charlottesville. 

Bill

Bill always comes to Underwood Cafeteria from his job at the plant on Thursdays for lunch, because Thursday is the meatloaf special, and Bill loves the meatloaf special. All Bill wanted to do was enjoy his meatloaf special, and then this asshole gets up and starts talking about god knows what. Bill should have known this was going to happen when he saw all these cunts like Joe and Beatrice in here. Bill just wants to eat his fucking meatloaf in peace. 

I celebrate your entire catalog. 

[Pancho 45044]

To go with your triple meet Whataburger

 

[F250 28826]

11 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Have you ever gotten a side salad at a burger joint? [shot of sad limp salad]

And then your friend got the triple cheeseburger, with extra jalapenos and grilled onions? [shot of tasty burger, with all the stickers on the wrapper]

You just got out-Whataburgered.  Don't get out-Whataburgered.....vote for the Texan.  Vote for the triple meat cheeseburger.  Vote for BETO.

Oh fuck, that just won me over.

[cmontexas 3283]

Rolls at that Underwoods>everything

[austingirl 2192]

Do you think Bernadette and Beatrice coordinated their outfits on purpose?

Our house is on the market (in WilCo) so we reluctantly pulled our yard sign and gave it to our stager to temporarily use. We move next weekend back into Austin proper and I'm looking forward to displaying my sign again.

[RayDog 682]

To show the absurdity of Shapiro offering AOC $10,000 to debate him, Cenk at TYT has offered Ted Cruz $10,000 to debate him.

It would be fun if it happened, but I do not expect Cruz will bite.

[Celery Man 21002]

Lulz, last live video for tonight "Goodnight Houston", Beto is in the car with the dude on the right from that Foss album cover, listening to a song from another band they were in called "Swedes" when they lived for a summer in a rental house in Albuquerque (that they rented from a team of Swedish skiers).  Beto had skipped graduation to come hang with them in Albuquerque and was driving an ice cream truck, and then quit doing that to wash dishes at a Cajun restaurant.

[Bozo_Casanova 26577]

Do you think Bernadette and Beatrice coordinated their outfits on purpose?

The formal hostilities of Bernadette and Beatrice are as coordinated and stylized as the Indian and Pakistani border guards at the Khyber Pass.

[Fudge Nuggets 19227]

18 hours ago, Message Board User said:

Average age of everyone in this picture - roughly 86.

 

The olds in all his campaign pics always look so happy.

[LongestHorn 759]

7 hours ago, Pancho Negro said:

To go with your triple meet Whataburger

 

 

[Bruh Man 3160]

21 hours ago, Blotto said:

Caption on that photo...

Senator Cruz, I've heard that you insist  president Trump wear a condom when you suck him off. Why won't you swallow his load like the good Lord intended?

This post made me laugh too hard.

[Chrispy 132]

Ted Cruz will be at the Cypress Trail Hideout this afternoon, for those that live near the Houston area and are interested. 

[Hornius Emeritus 12490]

“We still have a lot to worry about. Everyone knows we have a real election on our hands,” Cruz said at the Underwood’s campaign stop. “This is a divided and polarized time in our country and the far left are energized. They’re angry. Many of them hate our president." ----- Ted Cruz at Underwoods yesterday

 

"I'm going to tell you what I really think of Donald Trump. This man is a pathological liar. He doesn't know the difference between truth and lies. He lies practically   every word that comes out of his mouth. And in a pattern that I think is straight out of a psychology textbook, his response is to accuse everybody else of lying.

He accuses everybody on that debate stage of lying. And it's simply a mindless yell. Whatever he does, he accuses everyone else of doing. The man cannot tell the truth, but he combines it with being a narcissist. A narcissist at a level I don't think this country has ever seen

Donald Trump is such a narcissist that Barack Obama looks at him and goes, 'Dude, what's your problem?' Everything in Donald's world is about Donald. And he combines being a pathological liar, and I say pathological because I actually think Donald, if you hooked him up to a lie detector test, he could say one thing in the morning, one thing at noon and one thing in the evening, all contradictory and he's pass the lie detector test each time. Whatever lie he's telling, at that minute he believes it.

The man is utterly amoral. Morality does not exist for him. It's why he went after Heidi directly and smeared my wife, attacked her. Apparently she's not pretty enough for Donald Trump. I may be biased, but I think if he's making that allegation, he's also legally blind.

Every one of us knew bullies in elementary school. Bullies don't come from strength, bullies come from weakness. Bullies come from a deep, yawning cavern of insecurity. There is a reason Donald builds giant buildings and puts his name on them everywhere he goes.

And I will say there are millions of people in this country who are angry. They're angry at Washington, they're angry at politicians who have lied to them. I understand that anger. I share that anger. And Donald is cynically exploiting that anger, and he is lying to his supporters. Donald will betray his supporters on every issue.

If you care about immigration, Donald is laughing at you. And he's telling the moneyed elites he doesn't believe what he's saying. He's not going to build a wall. That's what he told The New York Times. He will betray you on every issue across the board. And his strategy of being a bully in particular is directed at women. Donald has a real problem with women."  ----- Ted Cruz on Donald Trump, 2016

 

 

[horncyclist 1391]

https://www.chron.com/news/politics/texas/article/Ted-Cruz-and-Beto-O-Rourke-haggle-over-debates-13144316.php

Debate scheduling update. Beto responded proposing they change one to El Paso and not do two of them on Friday night when Texans are watching football. Cruz camp says the debate plan is not up for negotiation. Will be interesting to see how it plays out.

[Celery Man 21002]

I kept waiting for that to turn around to where Cruz was explaining how he hates Trump but *insert reason* and that is why we need to enlist his help or whatever, but that would have been honest.

[LTbear 4171]

1 hour ago, horncyclist said:

https://www.chron.com/news/politics/texas/article/Ted-Cruz-and-Beto-O-Rourke-haggle-over-debates-13144316.php

Debate scheduling update. Beto responded proposing they change one to El Paso and not do two of them on Friday night when Texans are watching football. Cruz camp says the debate plan is not up for negotiation. Will be interesting to see how it plays out.

Goddammit Cruz is such a bitch.

[Message Board User 12396]

That Cruz would patronize Clem Mikeska's is reason enough to vote his carpetbagging ass out of office.