Tipsy Tina's Twat Tortoise

[SurlyBDR 23103]

She's got some real assholes for friends. Whatever happened to drawing dicks on faces of people who pass out??!

Quote

A British woman has been questioned by police in Spain after doctors found a dead tortoise inside her vagina, according to reports in the Spanish media.

Staff at the emergency department of a medical center in the south of the island Tenerife are said to have called local cops after making the bizarre discovery, the respected daily El Dia claimed.

The unnamed woman, described as an expat by El Confidential, is said to have sought help after suffering pain in her genital area which doctors diagnosed as an infection caused by the reptile.

The Sun has not been able to independently verify any of the claims that have been widely reported in Spanish media.

She is said to have told police she began to feel odd after going out partying with a group of British friends a couple of days earlier, El Periodico reports.

She apparently had no idea how the reptile ended up where it did.

The size of the reptile has not been revealed and some reports suggest it may have been a turtle rather than a tortoise.

 

https://nypost.com/2018/09/20/woman-on-vacation-reportedly-finds-dead-tortoise-in-her-vagina/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

 

[wd40 1976]

[OrangEngr 1035]

Was it a alligator snatching turtle?

[tfoolry 8341]

 

[Zepol87 9308]

What in the fuck???

[millhouse 2719]

Must have been a snatching turtle

Edited September 25, 2018 by millhouse
Damn orang beat me to it

[tfoolry 8341]

The girl’s name is Shelly. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

Hey, maybe she was just trying to visually create the tortoise in the hair....

[The University 852]

no idea... right. that's one kinky bird.

[Irwin F Fletcher 3555]

I believe the kids these days call that being 'terrapined" 

[SHOOTER12 8883]

4 minutes ago, Irwin F Fletcher said:

I believe the kids these days call that being 'terrapined" 

too soon.....

[Brock Sampson 289]

Was her name April?

[OrangEngr 1035]

She was just working on the appetizer for her new fusion restaurant. A combo of turtle soup and clam chowder.

[RPM 26562]

4 hours ago, tfoolry said:

 

Live dead action!

[elfenix 34658]

The size of the reptile has not been revealed and some reports suggest it may have been a turtle rather than a tortoise.

if it's a turtle it is a tortoise.  don't kids take biology in 7th grade and learn this shit anymore?

[DougO 5261]

She was trying to come out of her shell, and got confused.

Edited September 25, 2018 by DougO

[Walser 1125]

Mosdef a box turtle.

[Scheiss Meister 8450]

So her snapper snuffed a snapper.  Kinky.

[El Diablo 4232]

So who was it? Donatello? Leonardo?

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4998]

This guy?

[Jkwellborn 7007]

Guess it was trying to look for Nemo.

[clapclapclap 9000]

Quote

Staff at the emergency department of a medical center in the south of the island Tenerife are said to have called local cops after making the bizarre discovery

Can she sue for Tortoise Interference?

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Tortise name muledick?

Wait, wut?