My wife and her brother are worrying non-stop on the phone about their (and my) nephew who is over his head in some sort of gambling. So far he is (at minimum) 6K in for loans that have vanished and he (Door Dasher) probably cannot pay. we believe after he can't get more loans, he will turn to thievery, and eventually will get his legs broken. Then they (some underworld cabal of short violent ethnic types) will come for all of us, in various different states.

Does anybody have experience with this? I am really getting tired of my wife and her brother yammering about it.

gambling is going to be the ruin of this world. It's already ruining sports, and this stupid prediction market crap is moronic.

The good news is that to the best of my knowledge once they break the legs of whatever idiot, they do NOT look for family legs. I mean, they respect family and all that.

Wwhen I was a young punk, I got in way over my head and was down way more than I could possibly pay. I figured I only had 2 legs they could break. How much worse could it get? I made 4 huge bets and went to the movies because I couldn’t bear to watch. Ended up going 4-0, wiping out my debt. I’ve haven’t made a sports bet since.

3 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

My wife and her brother are worrying non-stop on the phone about their (and my) nephew who is over his head in some sort of gambling. So far he is (at minimum) 6K in for loans that have vanished and he (Door Dasher) probably cannot pay. we believe after he can't get more loans, he will turn to thievery, and eventually will get his legs broken. Then they (some underworld cabal of short violent ethnic types) will come for all of us, in various different states.

Does anybody have experience with this? I am really getting tired of my wife and her brother yammering about it.

You can't fix him, and you can't let his problems become your problem. Set limits. And protect your valuables.

3 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

gambling is going to be the ruin of this world. It's already ruining sports, and this stupid prediction market crap is moronic.

It's the newest addictive drug.

Never had any issues with gambling but I believe it can be addressed just like any other addiction. Support groups, therapy, twelve steps etc.

Might be a good start https://gamblersanonymous.org/

He'll at least have to acknowledge he has a problem and want to stop, though.

I don't know what they tell you to do when you call one of the hotlines or whatever. (maybe they give tips on how to bet more successfully?)

Edited February 22Feb 22 by ztejas

Get him addicted to drugs then he won't worry about gambling anymore.

50 bucks says they do his left leg first.

If you are certain that he has borrowed money from the wrong people, it's considerably more complicated than the standard "tough love, hit rock bottom, admit you have a problem" approaches most of us would recommend.

Stream of consciousness (and definitely subject to scrutiny) - pay off under conditions he goes into a program and never deals with these (types of) folks again. Again, I am assuming he is dealing with folks who follow a different legal system than most of us and are willing to physically harm him or people close to him. And, I am assuming that he wants to and is willing to stop.

I will concede that my approach may be equivalent to lighting $6k on fire if he does not want to change. As Parliament notes, you cannot fix his problem.

16 hours ago, TonyTexas said:

Wwhen I was a young punk, I got in way over my head and was down way more than I could possibly pay. I figured I only had 2 legs they could break. How much worse could it get? I made 4 huge bets and went to the movies because I couldn’t bear to watch. Ended up going 4-0, wiping out my debt. I’ve haven’t made a sports bet since.

Similarly, In my early 20's I started betting sports and got to the point that i couldn't( or didn't want to) watch a game without a wager on it. I never got into big money, but $25 and $50 a pop adds up pretty fucking quick through a football weekend starting on Thursday.

Finally I told myself no more. It was ruining something I loved- sports itself. Now I have bought squares for SB and done Fantasy Football, and I made a wager at Circa last week before we watched a Tech basketball game in Vegas; but I have not used a bookie since my early adulthood. I know people who bet all matter of sports from the daily fantasy stuff and wagers on their phone. A bookie isn't even really required any more. I do none of those aps or websites for gambling.

I was fortunate in that I was able to stop the out of control shit. I can't imagine how difficult it is for an addict with the instant access available these days. Is an intervention worth it for the OP's family? It will be a struggle, no matter what.

Edited February 22Feb 22 by Iceman

Maybe you should Break his legs first. That’ll learn him

Accidents happen all the time when people are careless and not paying attention. Just sayin.

My brother is a compulsive gambler and had similar issues you are describing. Nobody is crossing state lines to harm someone over 6K, as much as they may tell you differently over the phone or through a burner texting app.

I can’t emphasize enough that your wife and her brother need to call 1-800-MY-RESET (phone number for GAM-ANON) and listen to the advice and resources they have for your nephew. Once they make that phone call, the path forward becomes much clearer.

I Have a friend here that gambles illegally on an app. I keeps telling him if he is ever caught that they’ll just trace it back to your bank account. Not sure he can stop, especially if Hawai’i legalizes it. The North Shore is going to have a whole bunch of people living in tents if they legalize it here.

The ease of access through apps is worrying. I'm not saying they shouldn't be legal, but damn if they don't make it too easy to gamble and make it seem like funny money. I have a 12 YO son who would be $$$$$ in the hole if he had an ability to execute bets through apps.

I try to show him any "downside / dark side of betting" stories I find in hopes that it will counterbalance the draw a bit by the time he is old enough to test his skills.

Good luck to your nephew. You mention your wife and her brother, but what is the story with the nephew's parents? Are they concerned / involved?

2 hours ago, orange dream said:

Good luck to your nephew. You mention your wife and her brother, but what is the story with the nephew's parents? Are they concerned / involved?

I get confused how I’m related to 3rd cousins but even I know that the son of my brother-in-law is my nephew.

Edited February 23Feb 23 by TonyTexas

On 2/21/2026 at 4:25 PM, RDCanecutter said:

My wife and her brother are worrying non-stop on the phone about their (and my) nephew

55 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

I get confused how I’m related to 3rd cousins but even I know that the son of my brother-in-law is my nephew.

I may be really confused, but how does any of that reference the kid's parents?

Off topic, but the worst mafia movie tropes is related to money collection. Why are they looking to kill someone who owes them money either via loansharking or gambling. Its makes zero sense and apparently has no basis in reality that the mafia kills someone who owes them. You owe me $20K, I'm going to kill you so I have zero chance of being paid. WTF.

It also would make no sense to break someone's legs, assuming they had a job that required them to be mobile. You want them to be earning that paycheck and you collecting that 5-10% weekly vig. I would rather collect a continual 10% and the principal at some later date then receive the principal today. Perhaps you have to threaten someone and break an occasional finger, arm or leg but weekly interest collections is how you get rich in the long run.

57 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Off topic, but the worst mafia movie tropes is related to money collection. Why are they looking to kill someone who owes them money either via loansharking or gambling. Its makes zero sense and apparently has no basis in reality that the mafia kills someone who owes them. You owe me $20K, I'm going to kill you so I have zero chance of being paid. WTF.

It also would make no sense to break someone's legs, assuming they had a job that required them to be mobile. You want them to be earning that paycheck and you collecting that 5-10% weekly vig. I would rather collect a continual 10% and the principal at some later date then receive the principal today. Perhaps you have to threaten someone and break an occasional finger, arm or leg but weekly interest collections is how you get rich in the long run.

I was pretty convinced the whole violent bookie/broken kneecaps thing was a movie fiction. Never heard of anything like that happening to someone in real life. Even if you run up a drug debt for the most part you'll just get robbed for what you have.

3 hours ago, Helobious said:

I was pretty convinced the whole violent bookie/broken kneecaps thing was a movie fiction. Never heard of anything like that happening to someone in real life. Even if you run up a drug debt for the most part you'll just get robbed for what you have.

My brother owed a bit under 25K to a "local" bookie in Syracuse around mid 2019. They looked up family members contact info on the internet and made vague threats about contacting his employer. The social media harassment is the worst that they did to anyone in our family. Nobody had heard a peep after about a year of blocking all of the burner accounts. 12 step programs have certain stigmas, but Gamblers Anonymous saved his life and Gam-Anon was a great resource for myself and his wife/kids during the first year of his recovery. He's six years clean at this point and thriving. Can't say enough good things about the folks in GA and the resources they have to offer.

Edited February 24Feb 24 by ITHorn

Oone of the not-so-bad things about online gambling vs bookies is that you actually have to have the money in hand to place a bet.

My Aunt was managing quite a bit of real estate in coastal Mississippi and lost control when the big casinos opened. She was facing embezzlement charges when Hurricane Katrina destroyed all the evidence and distracted the prosecution. She quit drinking and moved out of state. Pretty sure a dose of GA and AA straightened her out. She was industrious when not distracted.

But damned we sure had a lot of fun in the 90’s, visiting my “fun” relatives. I'm talking get a plastic handle of Albertson’s rum, some Coke (cola), and just see what develops. Sheesh I picked the wrong role models when I was young.

Edited February 24Feb 24 by BearSchlong

23 hours ago, TonyTexas said:

I get confused how I’m related to 3rd cousins but even I know that the son of my brother-in-law is my nephew.

Uploading Attachment...

^^ oklahoma version

On 2/23/2026 at 10:05 AM, orange dream said:

Good luck to your nephew. You mention your wife and her brother, but what is the story with the nephew's parents? Are they concerned / involved?

Judge not that ye be not judged

BUT

Dad's got bad health problems and Mom is in denial about kid's problem.

Ain't shit I can do.

I appreciate the title of the thread but saying that someone is addicted to gambling and that they're bad at it, is redundant. Actually 99.9% of people are bad at gambling. I like to gamble and I know I will lose more than I win. I have won and won big but I'm certain that I'm down much more than up. A trip to Vegas 1-2 times per year, probably a 1 in 3 (or 4) chance I will bring money home and I get X amount in comps from the casino host. The possibility and thrill of a big win is exciting but I don't seek out that feeling very often.

If someone is making bets on a regular basis especially from their couch, they have a problem. Perhaps it's not impacting their life yet but it's still a problem.

3 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I appreciate the title of the thread but saying that someone is addicted to gambling and that they're bad at it, is redundant.

Had the same thought lol.

4 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

If someone is making bets on a regular basis especially from their couch, they have a problem.

What is "a regular basis"? I don't think throwing a few bucks here and there on games is a problem at all. I'd rather do that than go burn a grand on table games at a Casino.

If you aren't redepositing all the time or chasing bad money or putting down money you really can't afford to lose then it's pretty innocuous. I don't think gambling is inherently addictive - I think there are people that are inherently shitty at it or have a problem or both and can't leave it alone. And the current promulgation of it winds up ensnaring more of those people.

It's like the booze or other drugs. It's a problem when it's a problem. The quantity or regularity isn't necessarily the issue.

A guy I know used to keep book. First, there's always someone above them that they have to put the huge bets that they can't cover through to. The bookie probably bets through this person themselves. At that level those people are probably connected to either law enforcement or whatever the local 'mob' consists of. You don't want it to get to that level obviously and I think we would be talking about probably 100k+ of debt before it would so hopefully it isn't there yet. I'm not sure what they would do to collect at that level. I do know that someone won a significant amount off of this group and they just told them to pound sand and there was really nothing that could be done because of those aforementioned connections. At the lower level, I asked my guy what he would do to collect to someone who couldn't pay. He said he would threaten to tell someone who he knew would make you ashamed. It came to that one time for a mutual acquaintance of ours who came from big money and had a real addiction to basically everything problem. Sure enough he found his Dad and contacted him. Guy was probably in his 30s and Dad in his late 60s but he knew that guy's buttons and he pushed them and he got paid. Granted my buddy operated in an area where there was money, he wasn't booking for crack addicts or anything.

I am grateful for FanDuel so I no longer have to be involved with those shenanigans.