Lincoln Riley clubs puppies and hates America

[Pig Bellmont 8719]

Lincoln Riley cries at the end of every Big Bang episode 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley laughs at the end of "Old Yeller".

[pacman 7369]

Lincoln Riley dutch ovens himself

[ShowmeyourTDs 1141]

Lincoln Riley’s family tree is a cactus ... everyone one on it is a prick.

[ShowmeyourTDs 1141]

Lincoln Riley’s birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Satan wants to be Lincoln Riley when he grows up.

[ShowmeyourTDs 1141]

Lincoln Riley uses a toilet brush to scratch his back.

[ShowmeyourTDs 1141]

Lincoln Riley has been married three times and still has the same in-laws.

[Domedriver 655]

Lincoln borrows his mother-sisters teeth to eat dicks.

[EastTexan 662]

Lincoln Riley prefers Mr Pibb over Dr Pepper.

[Waterface 153]

Lincoln Riley probably fucks men in the bum without consent. All signs point to the fact that he studies the patterns of life of young males and then inserts his really gross cock into their unsuspecting bums when it suits his fancy. What a fucking loser. We should try to beat his football team next weekend to make amends for all of his habitual bum raping of innocent men.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley takes upskirt pics in the old folks home.

[Eskimohorn 5642]

Lincoln Riley is championing mandatory gay conversion therapy in all Oklahoma public schools for all students.

 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley's favorite pick-up joint is Chuck E. Cheese.

[PatrickMcHorn 376]

Lincoln riley finds cracker barrel on a Friday night to be a delightful experience.

[Vertigo 20306]

Lincoln Riley never racks his weights. 

[Chilly Water 416]

When Lincoln Riley goes to a bar, he orders a glass of warm buttermilk

[dcbc 14507]

Lincoln Riley undercooks his brisket, cuts the bark off, throws it in the trash, cuts the rest with the grain, and washes it down with a skinny daiquiri from Eskimo Hut.

Edited October 1, 2018 by dcbc

[OU Sucks 8905]

Lincoln Riley stole a Big Wheel bike from Toys for Tots and gave it to Kyler Murray.

[El Squared 1813]

Lincoln Riley farts in hot tubs and blames it on the jets.

[elfenix 34331]

lincoln riley thinks puppy breath is disgusting and loudly says so

[PatSolitanojr 518]

Lincoln Riley looks like an alien pretending to be human.

[Waterface 153]

Lincoln Riley channels scientific genius not typically known to the state of Oklahoma to revive a single human, squanders the opportunity by choosing Adolf Eichmann, and then passively watches with a crimson and creamy object in his bum while Neu Eichmann organizes the incineration of coastal Florida Jewry. What a prodigal necromancer.

[Vertigo 20306]

Lincoln Riley superglues fire hydrants.

Edited October 1, 2018 by Vertigo

[VandyHorn 42]

Lincoln Riley puts 20 items in his grocery cart and gets in the 15 item max express checkout lane.  Then he tries to pass off expired coupons.  And if that's not enough to piss you off, then he argues with the cashier and asks to speak to a manager.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley uses thousand island dressing... on a taco.

[Rudy Rutabaga 8188]

Lincoln Riley's dream

Dines upon just picked skin flute

sharing with Bob Stoops

[Scheiss Meister 8410]

Lincoln Riley steals old people's Social Security checks to fund his furry porn and cheetos while on meth habit.

[DoobieWah 1454]

Lincoln Riley drives around Norman after midnight and steals the big wheels that kids leave in their driveways.

What a dick.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley parks in the white zone even though he is neither loading nor unloading.

[Eskimohorn 5642]

Lincoln Riley is extremely offended by Colin Kaepernick taking a knee during the Star-Spangled banner, but substitutes “Sooners” for “Brave” at the end of that same anthem.

[orangebird 1079]

Lincoln Riley switched your car insurance away from GEICO and pocketed the extra 15%.

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley reads Playboy for the articles. Seriously.

[Mikey4 2476]

Lincoln Riley paces the normal lanes in the Mopac express lane.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley is why people have to put "this product may contain peanuts" on a jar of peanut butter.

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley wears floaties and pees in the pool. 

[OrangEngr 1035]

LIncoln Riley believes "flammable" and "inflammable" mean different things and you can all just go to hell.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley thinks Pythagoras was the dinosaur with the funny duck bill.

[HornOnTheBayou 8945]

3 hours ago, VandyHorn said:

Lincoln Riley puts 20 items in his grocery cart and gets in the 15 item max express checkout lane.  Then he tries to pass off expired coupons.  And if that's not enough to piss you off, then he argues with the cashier and asks to speak to a manager.

And then he asks for a pack of menthols. No, not those. The ones with the green top. No, the ones that were there last week. Ugh, just give me the ones that are under lock and key four aisles down. 

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

Lincoln riley has epic melt downs if disabled veterans try to fly with their service dogs on the same flight as him

[deadshank 24653]

Lincoln Riley has We Built This City On Rock and Roll on infinite loop

[Eskimohorn 5642]

For vacations, Lincoln Riley flies into Austin-Bergstrom so he can rent a car to visit Magnolia Farms in Waco.

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley doesn’t use turn signals in his convertible Sebring. His hands are too busy air-drumming to “I can’t drive 55” while he cruises 57 in the fast lane with a convoy in hot pursuit of folks who can’t wait to give him the “you’re #1” hand signal.

[ShowmeyourTDs 1141]

Lincoln Riley is a little bitch

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

12 hours ago, Chilly Water said:

When Lincoln Riley goes to a bar, he orders a glass of warm buttermilk

Picture evidence of Lincoln riley doing so:

[Halohal 498]

Lincoln Riley has brunch with Chip Brown but declines to go dutch

[CBHorn 422]

19 hours ago, Goodman said:

Obviously married to his under age, anorexic-wig wearing cousin. 

Lincoln Riley wears pleated khakis.

[Dnaguy 12042]

Lincoln Riley tells you his kids are advanced on the first day of pre-school.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley never cleans the crumbs out from the bottom of his toaster.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

Lincoln riley orders his dicks well-done then complains to the manager after eating the entire meal so he doesn't have to pay for them.