Lincoln Riley clubs puppies and hates America

[Otter 51]

Lincoln Riley thinks Kevin Morgan is a swell guy

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 9/29/2018 at 7:04 PM, EtOH said:

Link pushes lit elevator buttons and holds the door for everyone who’s not getting in. When the doors finally close he munches on pickled dicks from a paper sack. Fuck Lincoln Riley. 

Then he pushes every button for every floor, even if nobody is getting off on that floor.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley is sad when no one comes to his Tupperware party.

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

16 hours ago, Vertigo said:

Lincoln Riley never racks his weights. 

and does curls in the squat rack.

[GRHorn 105]

22 hours ago, Goodman said:

Obviously married to his under age, anorexic-wig wearing cousin. 

Lincoln Riley’s wife would like speak to the manager. 

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley does keto and has never felt better in his life. He eats lots of the good fats. 

[Dertyberd 394]

Lincoln Riley quotes Steinbeck during his press conferences to make himself appear thoughtful and deep. 

[Katfid54 8635]

22 hours ago, Goodman said:

Holy cow.  Dude married the bulimic, down's syndrome version of Maria Bamford.

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley pinches a little bit out of each sack of weed he sells his players. 

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley would like to tell you about his fantasy football team. It’s doing pretty well, especially when you consider all the injuries he’s had. 

[surlybalakris 29]

Lincoln Riley brines his brisket.

[UDontKnow 10445]

On 9/29/2018 at 7:28 PM, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

I'm saying he shits on the toilet seat like a fucking savage is what I'm saying.

Actually shitting like that is helpful for those afflicted by hemorrhoids because it reduces intra-abdominal pressure on the colon.

Lincoln Riley shits through a hemorrhoid-infested rectum and anus in meth-head occupied trailers without municipal septic utilities. How about that?

[UDontKnow 10445]

27 minutes ago, GRHorn said:

Lincoln Riley pinches a little bit out of each sack of weed he sells his players. 

Lincoln Riley smokes sticks and stems because they're analogous to dicks. 

[elfenix 34243]

4 hours ago, HOOK'EMHOOAH said:

Lincoln riley has epic melt downs if disabled veterans try to fly with their service dogs on the same flight as him

they really set his possum off

Edited October 1, 2018 by elfenix

[zzz 199]

22 hours ago, Goodman said:

Obviously married to his under age, anorexic-wig wearing cousin. 

You sure that’s not Wolowitz from Big Bang Theory dressed in drag?

[El Diablo 4232]

Lincoln Riley's dream job is Catholic priest.

In Norman, Oklahoma

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley hangs his toilet paper rolls in an improper underhand fashion.

[Longboard Horn 40325]

19 hours ago, ShowmeyourTDs said:

Lincoln Riley’s birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

 

19 hours ago, ShowmeyourTDs said:

Lincoln Riley’s family tree is a cactus ... everyone one on it is a prick.

God damn those are great!

[Longboard Horn 40325]

17 hours ago, PatSolitanojr said:

Lincoln Riley looks like an alien ewok pretending to be human.

FIFY

[Dnaguy 11967]

Lincoln Riley uses the phrase, "Just a skosh."

[MrPhlegm 3413]

He also shits like this

So his nasty ou shit gets everywhere and makes the toilet unusable for anyone else but sooners.

He shits with his pants on?

Lincoln Riley throws his brisket in the crock pot with some liquid smoke.

Lincoln Riley thinks a university endowment refers to a collection of dicks

Lincoln Riley dips his chicken tenders in coke

When Lincoln Riley goes to a bar, he orders a glass of warm buttermilk

Actually shitting like that is helpful for those afflicted by hemorrhoids because it reduces intra-abdominal pressure on the colon.
Lincoln Riley shits through a hemorrhoid-infested rectum and anus in meth-head occupied trailers without municipal septic utilities. How about that?

[MrPhlegm 3413]

He also shits like this

So his nasty ou shit gets everywhere and makes the toilet unusable for anyone else but sooners.

He shits with his pants on?

Lincoln Riley throws his brisket in the metal turkey pan with some liquid smoke.

Lincoln Riley thinks a university endowment refers to a collection of dicks

so does this guy

Lincoln Riley dips his chicken tenders in meth

When Lincoln Riley goes to a bar, he orders a glass of warm buttmilk

Actually shitting like that is helpful for those afflicted by hemorrhoids because it reduces intra-abdominal pressure on the colon.
Lincoln Riley shits through a hemorrhoid-infested rectum and anus in meth-head occupied trailers without municipal septic utilities. How about that?

shitting with the pants on helps hemorroids?

Kinky


Lincoln Riley loves to eat Doug Rader decorated cakes.

[elfenix 34243]

lincoln riley savors hangovers

[RollLeft 5045]

Lincoln Riley prefers tofu to Franklins BBQ.

Lincoln Riley hates chips & salsa and loathes guacamole.

Lincoln Riley reminds people Alaska is bigger than Texas.  

Lincoln Riley does not keep groom batchelor party escapades a secret and tells the bride everything. 

Lincoln Riley writes checks at the convenient store.  

[pops 6986]

Lincoln Riley thinks the Holocaust was a good start

[mr.goodkat 464]

lincoln riley does his scratch offs at the counter 

[mr.goodkat 464]

lincoln riley doesn't know how to negotiate a 4 way stop sign 

 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley watches reruns of Hee-Haw, and asks people to explain the jokes to him.

[Longboard Horn 40325]

Lincoln Riley thinks Amy Schumer is actually funny.

[TexTexTex 104]

Lincoln Riley calls fouls in pickup basketball

Lincoln Riley passes school buses when the stop sign is out

Lincoln Riley thinks Jared Leto was the best Joker 

Lincoln Riley plays like shit in pick up basketball then blames it on a "tough chest day workout yesterday"

Lincoln Riley thought that Joaquin Phoenix was the good guy in the movie Gladiator 

 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley leaves his Christmas decorations up until St. Patrick's Day.

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley yells at Little League umpires. 

[zeppo 3]

On 9/29/2018 at 8:26 PM, Treefidy said:

So what yur saying is Lincoln Riley thinks a double decker is when he does an upper decker, leaves, and comes back and does it again?    I should have known he was that guy. 

FIFY

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley drives a Dodge Stratus. 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley thinks the fried chicken at Luby's is just a little too spicy.

[Eskimohorn 5635]

Captain Hebert Sobel is Lincoln Riley’s idol.

[NWAustinDude 2252]

Lincoln Riley steals his defensive scheme from David Gibbs.

[Ifiwaspresident 57]

Lincoln Riley sits at third base and draws the paint that should have busted the dealer...when everyone else doubled down.

[Treefidy 1463]

lincoln Riley  tried to hire a WR coach from urban, because OU is the home of the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th chances. 

[SDG 3319]

Lincoln Riley claims to be gluten intolerant.  

[SDG 3319]

Lincoln Riley doesn’t have kids but drives a minivan anyway.  

[DeweyCox 366]

30 minutes ago, NWAustinDude said:

Lincoln Riley steals his defensive scheme from David Gibbs.

And his vocal range from Barry Gibb

[El Squared 1802]

When Lincoln Riley sees male buttcrack, he calls it cleavage....

[El Squared 1802]

Lincoln Riley gets out of the shower to piss and shit

[Vertigo 20286]

Lincoln Riley turned in Mike Leach for abusing his best friend Adam James.

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley uses his empty chocolate milk jugs to catch fart bubbles while taking a bubble bath. He then sucks the farts into syringes to later inject into his lips. He calls this procedure buttox.

[Mikey4 2476]

Lincoln Riley puts his dirty plate, cup, and fork in the dishwasher when everything else in it is clean.

[Coelenterate Fuccboi 13091]

Lincoln Riley shits on people’s lawns when his wife walks him. His wife doesn’t pick it up.

[Dnaguy 11967]

Lincoln Riley lies about the meaning of Devil's triangle 

[HenryJames 66066]

Lincoln Riley's favorite Beatle is Ringo.