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Lincoln Riley clubs puppies and hates America


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Posted

Lincoln Riley probably fucks men in the bum without consent. All signs point to the fact that he studies the patterns of life of young males and then inserts his really gross cock into their unsuspecting bums when it suits his fancy. What a fucking loser. We should try to beat his football team next weekend to make amends for all of his habitual bum raping of innocent men.

Posted (edited)

Lincoln Riley undercooks his brisket, cuts the bark off, throws it in the trash, cuts the rest with the grain, and washes it down with a skinny daiquiri from Eskimo Hut.

Edited by dcbc
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Posted

Lincoln Riley channels scientific genius not typically known to the state of Oklahoma to revive a single human, squanders the opportunity by choosing Adolf Eichmann, and then passively watches with a crimson and creamy object in his bum while Neu Eichmann organizes the incineration of coastal Florida Jewry. What a prodigal necromancer.

  • Haha 1
Posted

Lincoln Riley puts 20 items in his grocery cart and gets in the 15 item max express checkout lane.  Then he tries to pass off expired coupons.  And if that's not enough to piss you off, then he argues with the cashier and asks to speak to a manager.

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Posted
3 hours ago, VandyHorn said:

Lincoln Riley puts 20 items in his grocery cart and gets in the 15 item max express checkout lane.  Then he tries to pass off expired coupons.  And if that's not enough to piss you off, then he argues with the cashier and asks to speak to a manager.

And then he asks for a pack of menthols. No, not those. The ones with the green top. No, the ones that were there last week. Ugh, just give me the ones that are under lock and key four aisles down. 

Posted

Lincoln Riley doesn’t use turn signals in his convertible Sebring. His hands are too busy air-drumming to “I can’t drive 55” while he cruises 57 in the fast lane with a convoy in hot pursuit of folks who can’t wait to give him the “you’re #1” hand signal.

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