Manifesto of How to Look Younger at Work.....

[Aqua Buddha 14640]

This is written for both the Gen X-ers and the millennials.  It is written not as something chiseled in stone but, much like Spankytoes’ travel manifesto, something that is ongoing and can be added on to.

That being said, age discrimination in our society is real, albeit subtle.  Younger is almost always better.  Even at the high end, a corporate executive can’t look “old.” In middle management, you’re fucked.  They’ll always take a flyer on an up and comer vs. an unemployed 56 year old.

So, what does it take to hide your age?  (This applies to both men and women but I do write it from the man’s perspective.)

Appearance:

First, slim down.  Fat people age badly both from a health and an appearance standpoint.  You know those people were people say “I can’t believe they’re that old?”  Those people are never, ever fat.

Second, dress appropriately.  That doesn’t mean wearing skinny jeans and hipster earrings but it does mean dressing trend right with somewhat form fitting clothing.  (Remember, you’re thin now.)  Throw out the dad jeans, guys.  Also ditch the polo shirts, khaki pants, and tucked in shirt look with baggy jeans and tennis shoes.  I know it’s comfortable.  I don’t care. For the gals, ditch the mom jeans the dated hair cut.  However, it’s important here not to try too hard.  If you’re 45, don’t try to look 25.  That will be obvious.  Try for mid to late 30’s. Same if you’re 55.  Aim for something believable like early to mid 40’s.

Third, speaking of hair, go with a trend right haircut.  For men, we can thank Bruce Willis and Michael Jordan for making bald cool.  You can have a full head of gray hair at 38 and shave your head and no one notices.  Also ditch the beard if it’s full of gray hair.  I know you can color a heard but it’s a lot of work.  If you’re OK with that, then by all means.  It’s just a pain in the ass.  For women, go with a trend right haircut.  Work in some color as that’s OK with women.  If you’re a man or woman and have a full head of hair, you can work with the color.  Keep it dark until you’re looking for an executive level job and then peppered gray can work for you there.  Just avoid the peppered look if you’re in your 30’s and 40’s.  

There are many caveats here, I know.  It depends on your industry, your city, your immediate office, etc.  Adjust this as you see fit on points #2 and #3.  You can get away with a nose ring and silver hair in the Bay Area, for example.  

Resume:

First, clean up your resume.  No one cares about the job you had out of college, with rare exceptions.  Eliminate the job altogether.  Shrink your resume down to 2 or 3 pages at the most.  (This also applies to LinkedIn.)

Second, take the dates of the resume, except for more recent positions.  Take it off altogether for your education.  Graduated college in 1993?  Slow your roll, old man.  Just leave the years off.

Third, keep the resume relevant with current skill sets and their demands.  (This is wildly dependent on your industry, I know.)  This also involves keeping your skill set up to date. Certain industries change faster than others and never hesitate to volunteer for something that’s cutting edge.  Don’t know what blockchain means?  Don’t care.  Volunteer.  No one cares that you have 25 years of Mainframe programming, for example.

Fourth, get the right picture for LinkedIn.  (See the part about appearance.)  Make it somewhat professional looking while hiding your age.

Hobbies and Personal Life:

This one is tricky and it may involve things you don’t like.  For example, if you’re in tech, you’re going to have to keep up with all 4,950 comic book movies.  Those young dudes like that.  In consumer products?  Keep up with what women like, if you’re a man.  This also applies on a more broader scale to your immediate office.  If you’re the minority in the office, follow what the majority follows.  At least now the relevant football players or millennial celebrities.  This can be a total beating.

College age kids?  Take down the pictures.  Don’t hide it but just don’t adverse it.

Get a Facebook page but don’t drone on about stuff like your crazy Republican uncle does.  Do more on Instagram.

That’s my initial offering and this is a “living document” so to speak.  It’ll be more relevant the older you are and oh, by the way, “old” now is 40ish so you’re closer than you think.

Hope this helps and I hope tp hear input from everyone else.

[SimonBolivar 10961]

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3868]

Some of your points are quickly changing. Millennials are opting for the more natural salt and pepper/grey than the dyed blonde look. 

https://www.allure.com/story/tracing-the-gray-hair-trend

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&q=women+hair+dyed+gray&chips=q:women+hair+dyed+gray,online_chips:silver+grey&usg=AI4_-kQly_rn3bcdTFGnGh9M6lYbNojFQQ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiawruAkOTdAhUH0KwKHWKOBYIQ4lYILCgE&biw=1920&bih=1137&dpr=1

My advice would be, if over 45-50,  watch what is fashionable for those 15 years younger and emulate. Trying for any younger than that is a tough sell.

Edited October 1, 2018 by ShaggyBevo RIP

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Fuck all that shit. Save your fucking money like crazy and when you get laid off at 50+ fucking retire. I got laid off at 60 and could have gone to Albany or Washington state and got a job with my skillset, unisys big iron cobol, I said fuck it, I'm retired. Went and got a job at WDW parking cars for little or no money, got in shape after a 40 year career of sitting on my ass stress eating fattening shit out of the vending machines. Quit that one after three years of dealing with the Disney bullshit and retired retired.

Folks take your social security starting as early as you can, if you wait until your retirement age it takes 18 years to make up the money you would have gotten if you had taken ss as early as possible.

No job. No stress, no money (not really heh heh heh), retired. Fuck yeah!

Hook em!

OU sucks.

[Aqua Buddha 14640]

22 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Some of your points are quickly changing. Millennials are opting for the more natural salt and pepper/grey than the dyed blonde look. 

https://www.allure.com/story/tracing-the-gray-hair-trend

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&tbm=isch&q=women+hair+dyed+gray&chips=q:women+hair+dyed+gray,online_chips:silver+grey&usg=AI4_-kQly_rn3bcdTFGnGh9M6lYbNojFQQ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiawruAkOTdAhUH0KwKHWKOBYIQ4lYILCgE&biw=1920&bih=1137&dpr=1

My advice would be, if over 45-50,  watch what is fashionable for those 15 years younger and emulate. Trying for any younger than that is a tough sell.

That's kind of what I said but I like your equation better.  If you're 45, don't try to look like a 25 year old.  Try for 35 instead.  It's more believable and you don't look like a douche bag.

As to the gray hair thing, there is a difference between gray hair and dyed silver.

Edited October 1, 2018 by Aqua Buddha

[Bernard 879]

Glad I retired at 40. 

Bernard

[bluto 4945]

ummmm I've definitely felt discriminated against for looking too young (mid 30s but look 10 yrs younger)

[Assman 1830]

 

[kmac30 416]

First, slim down.  Fat people age badly both from a health and an appearance standpoint.  You know those people were people say “I can’t believe they’re that old?”  Those people are never, ever fat.

While I agree, for overall health reasons people need to slim down, I don’t agree that it always makes people look older. I know plenty of slim and in shape people that are my age and look 10 years older. I know a really big guy that is 10 years older than me and I never would have known until we had a discussion about hold old we were. Sometimes you just can’t control genetics.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13536]

22 minutes ago, kmac30 said:

While I agree, for overall health reasons people need to slim down, I don’t agree that it always makes people look older. I know plenty of slim and in shape people that are my age and look 10 years older. I know a really big guy that is 10 years older than me and I never would have known until we had a discussion about hold old we were. Sometimes you just can’t control genetics.

There is truth to this.  If you’re overweight, some of that fat is in your face.  That can make you look younger.  Get too thin and you look 10 years older than you are.   I’ve heard that at some point in their lives, many women make a choice between their body or their face. I assume guys have that choice but most don’t care by then.

another way too come across as old is to be proud on how oblivious you are to pop culture over the past decade or so.  On the football board, there is a thread about maroon 5 being the halftime show at the next SB.  Some on there are bragging they never heard of them.    Come on old people.   You don’t have to watch MTV or the CW but at least have awareness of music that has been around long enough for the nfl to notice.    And if you get caught with someone asking you if you had heard of X or watched Y TV show, say you’re not a fan it or you’re planning to binge watch that show soon.    

Edited October 1, 2018 by Nice Guy Eddie

[Aqua Buddha 14640]

Another thing I forgot to throw in was skin tone but that's wildly different for everyone.  Do what you can to keep your skin smooth and wrinkle free.  Stay out of the sun over the years or wear lots of sunscreen.  

[Upgrayedd 5822]

Lots of energy drinks and call everyone brah 

[DaysOff 7988]

I think I'm actually glad I wear a uniform to work and have never met my immediate supervisor.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13536]

27 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Another thing I forgot to throw in was skin tone but that's wildly different for everyone.  Do what you can to keep your skin smooth and wrinkle free.  Stay out of the sun over the years or wear lots of sunscreen.  

The sunscreen advice will pay off in the long run.  

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

I honestly don’t think about this stuff much and I consistently get people telling me they thought I am 10 years younger than I am.

However, to add to your list, you dorks with your smartphones on a belt holster need to lose that shit. Especially if it’s almost the size of a tablet. Dead giveaway that are an old.

[Parliament 14357]

White socks.  Nobody hip wears a sock that is white.  Same for tennis shoes.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13536]

14 minutes ago, Parliament said:

White socks.  Nobody hip wears a sock that is white.  Same for tennis shoes.

I admit that I was behind the curve when it came to dumping white socks in terms of wearing them with shorts.  I grew up that shorts plus dark socks was the old man mowing his lawn across the street.  It’s almost reversed now.     

Hopefully no one is wearing white socks with their white-collar work clothes (slacks, jeans or god forbid, khakis).  Never khakis unless forced to do so.  

[Parliament 14357]

I'm right there with you.  Had friends, my age, who never went white and inadvertently beat me to the next fashion wave.  I have a "batch" of white socks I'm trying to use.

[Celery Man 21022]

 

23 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I admit that I was behind the curve when it came to dumping white socks in terms of wearing them with shorts.  I grew up that shorts plus dark socks was the old man mowing his lawn across the street.  It’s almost reversed now.     

Hopefully no one is wearing white socks with their white-collar work clothes (slacks, jeans or god forbid, khakis).  Never khakis unless forced to do so.  

low ankle socks or no socks at all with shorts

[Judge Roybeanbag 11822]

23 minutes ago, Parliament said:

I'm right there with you.  Had friends, my age, who never went white and inadvertently beat me to the next fashion wave.  I have a "batch" of white socks I'm trying to use.

I have a bunch of white socks - I just reserve them for wearing with my boots.  Nobody sees them.  

[Moby Ric 2058]

On the hair, do I part it on the right side or the left?  I heard somewhere that one side is gayer than the other.

[Digdogger 1344]

Go into an interview completely erect, that way they know you're not an old softy

[52-80 19275]

mom jeans are in tho

[GhostOfTomJoad 9381]

I admit that I'm too dependent on polo shirts, specifically corporate branded ones. Thankfully ours are generally very discreet and I opt for the Under Armour or Nike performance lines whenever possible. I probably wear 2-3 a week especially if I'm in the office & not dealing with a ton of external clients. But it's Austin, it's hot as balls most of the year, and a no-wrinkle solution to get out the door in the morning by 6am is good enough for me.

[52-80 19275]

We had PwC just move hundreds of staff into our business plaza, so whereas we had a diverse mix of business tenants (artists, techs, scientists).... now its completely full of bright-eyed bushy-tailed youngins all fully clad in corporate uniform of the Plain Navy Blue Suit.

Except, a bunch of them are sporting the man bun.  A bit odd... a very conservative industry and they allow that kind of hipster shit

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

I don’t agree with the polo thing. I work for a large O&G company and there are so many millennials here wearing polos. Company branded, university affiliation, etc.

[Parliament 14357]

What is the best alternative to a Nike (or sumilar)?  Short sleeve button-down cotton?  Do I have to leave it untucked?

[52-80 19275]

11 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I don’t agree with the polo thing. I work for a large O&G company and there are so many millennials here wearing polos. Company branded, university affiliation, etc.

Polo isnt out of place in texas, especially in O&G. 

 

Just make sure it's cotton in mesh/pique weave.  Not that shiny, dri-fit polyester Nike shit, unless you're actually playing in the Ryder Cup

[Gene Parmesan 4016]

You can pry my dri fit polos out of my cold dead hands.

[Parliament 14357]

8 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

 

 

Just make sure it's cotton in mesh/pique weave.  

Bro, do you even profusely sweat?  

[El Diablo 4232]

Do we have to say "trend right" when discussing our fashion choices with the metros in the office? Because that's a deal breaker for me.

['stache 21895]

Stop blaming millenials for all the world's problems.  That's a dead giveaway you're an old.  

['stache 21895]

Also, don't brag about how you worked your way through college and grad school.  Nobody born after 1980 was able to do that shit unless you maybe went to night school at community college.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

1 minute ago, 'stache said:

Stop blaming millenials for all the world's problems.  That's a dead giveaway you're an old.  

um, in case you haven't noticed, the world was absolutely perfect until 1993

the cause-and-effect is obvious

or as you millennials would say "like, you know, whatever, totes macgotes"

[HOOKEM4 5051]

27 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Just make sure it's cotton in mesh/pique weave.  Not that shiny, dri-fit polyester Nike shit, unless you're actually playing in the Ryder Cup

What if the company gives you these? We get a C&B shirt or Nike polo, every few months.

[52-80 19275]

1 minute ago, HOOKEM4 said:

What if the company gives you these? We get a C&B shirt or Nike polo, every few months.

wear em on the golf course.  i think technical clothing looks out of place in the workplace

[Nice Guy Eddie 13536]

back on the original subject of looking too old at work.  This thread made me want to remove my pre-2000 work dates.  LinkedIn doesn't seem to allow that.  I googled how to get around that data requirement.    Read several articles from recruiters saying to remove all work entries prior to 2000.   Apparently you won't show up on some recruiter searches if your work history goes back too far.   And to be honest, no one cares what you did or didn't do 20 years ago; whether you're applying for the CEO or data entry clerk.

FYI, you can remove your education dates. 

[Celery Man 21022]

wherever you land on the polo thing, throw the ones that look like this away -

where the fuck did you even by that, and also get rid of these

 

you should be able to describe your shoe with a name.  it's a wingtip, a cap toe oxford, a moccasin, brown derby, vans, chucks.  roper.  not "it's like a dress shoe but for airline pilots and preteens at sunday school"

[Moby Ric 2058]

Thank God I work for myself.  I am wearing a baseball cap and shorts today.

[DaysOff 7988]

Hey, I wear a wingtip.

[El Diablo 4232]

4 minutes ago, DaysOff said:

Hey, I wear a wingtip.

Boss, you ARE a wingtip.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

wear em on the golf course.  i think technical clothing looks out of place in the workplace

Probably. But you know what looks even more stupid and shows you are an old or a country bumpkin? Wearing those fucking fishing shirts in the office.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Probably. But you know what looks even more stupid and shows you are an old or a country bumpkin? Wearing those fucking fishing shirts in the office.

Tsk tsk tsk.



You need to decide if you’re working with engineers or O&G trash.

FTR - I’m aware my old manager wears white velcro New Balances almost everyday, and the one before that wore 10 year old work boots.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Tsk tsk tsk.



You need to decide if you’re working with engineers or O&G trash.

FTR - I’m aware my old manager wears white velcro New Balances almost everyday, and the one before that wore 10 year old work boots.

3rd option, I work for dipshits.

By the way, I finally left the old place. Now contract for an owner. Love the pay, but not liking the gig. Total shit show. Not sure what next.

[Beau Vine 54489]

2 hours ago, Parliament said:

White socks.  Nobody hip wears a sock that is white.  Same for tennis shoes.

No one still calls them "tennis shoes."

No one plays tennis any more.

[HenryJames 66228]

6 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

 

3rd option, I work for dipshits.

By the way, I finally left the old place. Now contract for an owner. Love the pay, but not liking the gig. Total shit show. Not sure what next.

 

'There's always barber college.'

[Victorious1 167]

Banana Republic Factory online store is your friend.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4979]

Went to the wife's 10 year reunion last weekend. 95% of the guys there had a beard, so apparently you need one if you are trying to look like you are in your late 20s or early 30s.

[davidg 4040]

11 minutes ago, Llano Estacado said:

 

Tsk tsk tsk.



You need to decide if you’re working with engineers or O&G trash.

FTR - I’m aware my old manager wears white velcro New Balances almost everyday, and the one before that wore 10 year old work boots.

 

Midland should actually be a Carhartt FR shirt and Ariat FR jeans with steel toe redwings.

[Spankytoes 1743]

1 hour ago, Moby Ric said:

Thank God I work for myself.  I am wearing a baseball cap and shorts today.

How do you handle sexual harassment in tne workplace?