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Manifesto of How to Look Younger at Work.....

Aqua Buddha

By Aqua Buddha
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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

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On 9/30/2018 at 8:30 PM, Aqua Buddha said:

This is written for both the Gen X-ers and the millennials.  It is written not as something chiseled in stone but, much like Spankytoes’ travel manifesto, something that is ongoing and can be added on to.

That being said, age discrimination in our society is real, albeit subtle.  Younger is almost always better.  Even at the high end, a corporate executive can’t look “old.” In middle management, you’re fucked.  They’ll always take a flyer on an up and comer vs. an unemployed 56 year old.

So, what does it take to hide your age?  (This applies to both men and women but I do write it from the man’s perspective.)

Appearance:

First, slim down.  Fat people age badly both from a health and an appearance standpoint.  You know those people were people say “I can’t believe they’re that old?”  Those people are never, ever fat.

Second, dress appropriately.  That doesn’t mean wearing skinny jeans and hipster earrings but it does mean dressing trend right with somewhat form fitting clothing.  (Remember, you’re thin now.)  Throw out the dad jeans, guys.  Also ditch the polo shirts, khaki pants, and tucked in shirt look with baggy jeans and tennis shoes.  I know it’s comfortable.  I don’t care. For the gals, ditch the mom jeans the dated hair cut.  However, it’s important here not to try too hard.  If you’re 45, don’t try to look 25.  That will be obvious.  Try for mid to late 30’s. Same if you’re 55.  Aim for something believable like early to mid 40’s.

Third, speaking of hair, go with a trend right haircut.  For men, we can thank Bruce Willis and Michael Jordan for making bald cool.  You can have a full head of gray hair at 38 and shave your head and no one notices.  Also ditch the beard if it’s full of gray hair.  I know you can color a heard but it’s a lot of work.  If you’re OK with that, then by all means.  It’s just a pain in the ass.  For women, go with a trend right haircut.  Work in some color as that’s OK with women.  If you’re a man or woman and have a full head of hair, you can work with the color.  Keep it dark until you’re looking for an executive level job and then peppered gray can work for you there.  Just avoid the peppered look if you’re in your 30’s and 40’s.  

There are many caveats here, I know.  It depends on your industry, your city, your immediate office, etc.  Adjust this as you see fit on points #2 and #3.  You can get away with a nose ring and silver hair in the Bay Area, for example.  

Resume:

First, clean up your resume.  No one cares about the job you had out of college, with rare exceptions.  Eliminate the job altogether.  Shrink your resume down to 2 or 3 pages at the most.  (This also applies to LinkedIn.)

Second, take the dates of the resume, except for more recent positions.  Take it off altogether for your education.  Graduated college in 1993?  Slow your roll, old man.  Just leave the years off.

Third, keep the resume relevant with current skill sets and their demands.  (This is wildly dependent on your industry, I know.)  This also involves keeping your skill set up to date. Certain industries change faster than others and never hesitate to volunteer for something that’s cutting edge.  Don’t know what blockchain means?  Don’t care.  Volunteer.  No one cares that you have 25 years of Mainframe programming, for example.

Fourth, get the right picture for LinkedIn.  (See the part about appearance.)  Make it somewhat professional looking while hiding your age.

Hobbies and Personal Life:

This one is tricky and it may involve things you don’t like.  For example, if you’re in tech, you’re going to have to keep up with all 4,950 comic book movies.  Those young dudes like that.  In consumer products?  Keep up with what women like, if you’re a man.  This also applies on a more broader scale to your immediate office.  If you’re the minority in the office, follow what the majority follows.  At least now the relevant football players or millennial celebrities.  This can be a total beating.

College age kids?  Take down the pictures.  Don’t hide it but just don’t adverse it.

Get a Facebook page but don’t drone on about stuff like your crazy Republican uncle does.  Do more on Instagram.

That’s my initial offering and this is a “living document” so to speak.  It’ll be more relevant the older you are and oh, by the way, “old” now is 40ish so you’re closer than you think.

Hope this helps and I hope tp hear input from everyone else.

What do you have to say about proof-reading things?

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Brew

Brew 3049

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2 hours ago, Js1 said:

I interviewed with a firm yesterday where everyone, even the partners, were in jeans.

This is where I’m going to contradict my earlier post, but I think the professional settings are going too far casual. I fought hard to get rid of suits when I started, but now I show up in one of my offices on a random Wednesday and everyone is wearing jeans and half of them can’t bother tucking their shirts in. I think for what clients pay per hour for us to do their work, there is still a happy medium of professional appearance and jeans on a random week day is a little much.

I met with a firm that we are looking to acquire a couple of months ago. They show up in sport coats like they always do and one of the partners from my firm I asked to attend shows up in blue jeans and a polo. It’s a little much.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13536

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18 minutes ago, 936horn said:

This. Easiest way to spot a boss motherfucker is the white tennis shoes on the trade floor. This is in O&G

retro style white tennis shoes were actually very in with many people over the past year or so.  There was nothing wrong with wearing Stan Smith Adidas white shoes with dark jeans.  

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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14643

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39 minutes ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

Thinking about it more, why in the hell would you want to look younger at work? If anything you want to look old and seasoned and as experienced as possible. What kind of jobs do you guys have that it behooves you to look like a kid?

This could be the least self aware post on this entire thread.

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936horn

936horn 928

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1 minute ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

retro style white tennis shoes were actually very in with many people over the past year or so.  There was nothing wrong with wearing Stan Smith Adidas white shoes with dark jeans.  

I don't doubt it, but the guys I am referring to are wearing more of the all white, orthopedic lookin shoes.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13536

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1 minute ago, 936horn said:

I don't doubt it, but the guys I am referring to are wearing more of the all white, orthopedic lookin shoes.

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For those that are rolling their eyes at all of this, I agree that no one should care what they look like but if you dress like you did in 1995 in the workplace, you give off the impression that you're still in 1995.   And for people proud they haven't worn anything but shorts and flip flops in 10 years, the woman in your life feels the opposite.

 

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Richard Kimball

Richard Kimball 1499

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Just a couple of things from an old guy. 

Contact lenses, if you can wear them, are a good thing. Glasses age you. 

If you've been out in the sun too much, like me, long sleeve shirts can help hide the aging on your arms. 

Short hair is better than long hair if your hair is thinning, but shaving the head can make you look like a walnut wearing a skull cap. 

The more wrinkles you have, the fewer wrinkles your clothes should have.

Stay behind the cutting edge. Wear things that are reasonably in fashion, but not high fashion.

Spend a couple of bucks on your clothes. You don't have to go crazy, but higher end pants, shirts, belts and shoes last longer. 

Have at least one tailored, dark suit. It will last for years if you only wear it occasionally. Get it refitted or buy a new one if you gain or lose weight. 

Dress for your profession. Different professions have different informal dress codes.

Different areas of the country have different informal dress codes also. 

It's been more than a few years since I was in corporate, but in my profession back then, suits at meetings in New York were expected. Anything more formal than a sport coat (no tie) in California was odd. 

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Parliament

Parliament 14357

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Thinking about it more, why in the hell would you want to look younger at work? If anything you want to look old and seasoned and as experienced as possible. What kind of jobs do you guys have that it behooves you to look like a kid?


“Young” and “youthful” are different things. I agree with an earlier post that your goal should be to have people mistake you for someone 10 years younger than you are.
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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14643

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23 minutes ago, Richard Kimball said:

Just a couple of things from an old guy. 

Contact lenses, if you can wear them, are a good thing. Glasses age you. 

If you've been out in the sun too much, like me, long sleeve shirts can help hide the aging on your arms. 

Short hair is better than long hair if your hair is thinning, but shaving the head can make you look like a walnut wearing a skull cap. 

The more wrinkles you have, the fewer wrinkles your clothes should have.

Stay behind the cutting edge. Wear things that are reasonably in fashion, but not high fashion.

Spend a couple of bucks on your clothes. You don't have to go crazy, but higher end pants, shirts, belts and shoes last longer. 

Have at least one tailored, dark suit. It will last for years if you only wear it occasionally. Get it refitted or buy a new one if you gain or lose weight. 

Dress for your profession. Different professions have different informal dress codes.

Different areas of the country have different informal dress codes also. 

It's been more than a few years since I was in corporate, but in my profession back then, suits at meetings in New York were expected. Anything more formal than a sport coat (no tie) in California was odd. 

This guy gets it.

Also, in regards to jeans at work, not all means are equal as we all know.  If your office wears high end jeans that are slim fitting, don't show up in Levi's dad jeans from Walmart.

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Aqua Buddha

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23 minutes ago, Parliament said:

 


“Young” and “youthful” are different things. I agree with an earlier post that your goal should be to have people mistake you for someone 10 years younger than you are.

 

This.  Ten years younger.  Any more and it's obvious you're trying too hard.

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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

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1 hour ago, Richard Kimball said:

Just a couple of things from an old guy. 

Contact lenses, if you can wear them, are a good thing. Glasses age you. 

If you've been out in the sun too much, like me, long sleeve shirts can help hide the aging on your arms. 

Short hair is better than long hair if your hair is thinning, but shaving the head can make you look like a walnut wearing a skull cap. 

The more wrinkles you have, the fewer wrinkles your clothes should have.

Stay behind the cutting edge. Wear things that are reasonably in fashion, but not high fashion.

Spend a couple of bucks on your clothes. You don't have to go crazy, but higher end pants, shirts, belts and shoes last longer. 

Have at least one tailored, dark suit. It will last for years if you only wear it occasionally. Get it refitted or buy a new one if you gain or lose weight. 

Dress for your profession. Different professions have different informal dress codes.

Different areas of the country have different informal dress codes also. 

It's been more than a few years since I was in corporate, but in my profession back then, suits at meetings in New York were expected. Anything more formal than a sport coat (no tie) in California was odd. 

I would add that cheap accessories can be more noticeable than a cheap suit. A $400 suit is less noticeable on a guy wearing a nice shirt/shoes/tie/watch/belt (even socks) than cheap ass accessories are with a $1,400 suit.

And for crissakes, keep those shoes polished.

And never, ever wear short sleeves with a suit. Nothing looks worse than a bare arm sticking out of a suit jacket, especially if you wear a gold bracelet (I’m looking at you, Dan from Chicago).

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
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F250

F250 28886

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4 minutes ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

I think for most people on this site, it cuts the opposite way as the poster earlier said with informal age discrimination by looking too young.

Did you not see the "how old are you thread" or similar threads on the old site? This place is predominantly populated with Gen-Xers, not people that are seen as too young.

 

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F250

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12 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

None of this makes a shit in the IT dept. We are all disgusting slobs who may shower twice a week. Im getting my first haircut in months today, and i havent shopped for clothes in 5 years.

Shit, i wnet to my last interview in jeans and a faded polo and got hired. 

Please pay attention to the important information posted below.

4 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

And for people proud they haven't worn anything but shorts and flip flops in 10 years, the woman in your life feels the opposite.

 

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yeah, because into your 40's and 50's, women just love a guy who is so damned dapper, right?

 

I don't mean being anti-hygeine stanky motherfucker,  because i am disgusted by that behavior too; but she doesn't really give a fuck what i wear, within reason.  The best things happen when no clothes are even in the equation.

 

To hear some of the motherfuckers on Surly tell it, if I'd just buy the right jeans and get a watch; it's be 3 guaranteed blowjobs a day.

Yeah, not from the wife, though...

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Celery Man

Celery Man 21022

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10 hours ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

Thinking about it more, why in the hell would you want to look younger at work? If anything you want to look old and seasoned and as experienced as possible. What kind of jobs do you guys have that it behooves you to look like a kid?

 

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F250

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42 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

 

One of my fears is becoming that old Fortran dude that talked about the mainframe days to a young F250. I was pretty arrogant back then and not kind to my elders. I remember giving another guy shit for being 33 years old and being a new developer. The aging process in this industry is on fast forward.

 

 

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DaysOff

DaysOff 7988

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One of my fears is becoming that old Fortran dude that talked about the mainframe days to a young F250. I was pretty arrogant back then and not kind to my elders. I remember giving another guy shit for being 33 years old and being a new developer. The aging process in this industry is on fast forward.
 
 
Do people not use Fortran77 anymore? If this flying gig goes tits up I might be fucked.
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Money don't buy sense.

Gotdam that looks fucked up( Jordan pic.)  That's some shit we wore when we were brokeass motherfuckers because we couldn't get anything else.

Edited by slorch
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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

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On ‎10‎/‎1‎/‎2018 at 6:34 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

If your office environment is the right, then ok but be sure that you can dress like the guy on the left,  nothing more annoying than an adult being asked to dress professionally for one day or one meeting, and they whine about how much nice clothes cost.  

And look comfortable in a suit.  One of the things I liked about having 4 kids go to prom/whatever is the photo shoots with the kids and their dates.  Most HS boys don't know what to do with their hands when you put them in a suit.  It's kinda cute when they are HS boys, but not so much once they're adult men.

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