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Urban Legends You Heard At UT

MaybeACoordinator

By MaybeACoordinator
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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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Man, when Snopes came around, it kind of retroactively ruined my freshman year -- 1988. Snopes told me that no, some dude did not wake up in his frat house bed surrounded by angry cops because he had unknowingly driven a cop car home in a blackout. He'd was in the process of getting a DWI, you see, when there was a bad wreck down the street, and the cop ran off to save the victims, so the drunk just got in the cop car and drove off, with the lights still on. And he left them on in the parking lot, too -- that was how the cops found the car. 

 

And then there was that dude who cheated all the way through one of his exams. When he handed it in, the prof was like "You don't think you got away with that, do you? I saw you cheating -- give me your Scantron so I can give you a zero." So the dude says, "Do you know who I am, professor? I mean seriously -- do you know who I am? You can't give a guy like me a zero."

Prof says, "No, I don't know who you are, and I don't care. You cheated and you're getting a zero."

"So you really don't know who I am?" dude says.

"No."

Dude puts his Scantron in the pile with all the others, mixes them all up, tosses them in the air and says "Good," and runs away.

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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2 minutes ago, Digdogger said:

You mean Buddy Hackett jokes you heard at UT?

We seriously believed this shit. They were a bunch more details, like the specific frat (Delt) in the cop car story. Scantron guy was a "friend of a friend."

And of course if your roommate died, you might as well quit going to class for the rest of the semester because you were gonna get a 4.0 no matter what. Rules. 

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Blanton

Blanton 170

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2 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

We seriously believed this shit. They were a bunch more details, like the specific frat (Delt) in the cop car story. Scantron guy was a "friend of a friend."

And of course if your roommate died, you might as well quit going to class for the rest of the semester because you were gonna get a 4.0 no matter what. Rules. 

Haha heard the roommate suicide/death would result in a 4.0

 

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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

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9 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Man, when Snopes came around, it kind of retroactively ruined my freshman year -- 1988. Snopes told me that no, some dude did not wake up in his frat house bed surrounded by angry cops because he had unknowingly driven a cop car home in a blackout. He'd was in the process of getting a DWI, you see, when there was a bad wreck down the street, and the cop ran off to save the victims, so the drunk just got in the cop car and drove off, with the lights still on. And he left them on in the parking lot, too -- that was how the cops found the car. 

 

And then there was that dude who cheated all the way through one of his exams. When he handed it in, the prof was like "You don't think you got away with that, do you? I saw you cheating -- give me your Scantron so I can give you a zero." So the dude says, "Do you know who I am, professor? I mean seriously -- do you know who I am? You can't give a guy like me a zero."

Prof says, "No, I don't know who you are, and I don't care. You cheated and you're getting a zero."

"So you really don't know who I am?" dude says.

"No."

Dude puts his Scantron in the pile with all the others, mixes them all up, tosses them in the air and says "Good," and runs away.

I was in a large lecture hall in Welch circa 1980 when that happened. The tossing happened, I have no idea about the dialogue part. None of the few people remaining in that class recognized him, so we guessed the TA didn’t recognize him and questioned who he was. It was a finals week, so no one gave a damn.

Bs weren’t handed out like candy in those days. /get off my lawn

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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Another one:

Drunk guy gets pulled over. He knows he's toast. As the cop is walking towards the car, he asks the dude riding shotgun to hand him the pint of Beam they have in the front seat. Right as the cop arrives at the window, the driver chugs about half the pint of Beam.

And the cop says -- "Well, now I can never prove that you were drunk before I pulled you over. Get your friend to drive you home -- you are free to go."

 

(Some of these stories were sooooo stupid.)

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hayden_horn

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5 minutes ago, Deej said:

The Conan's on Guadalupe would deliver weed with your pizza if you ordered the special sauce. This was in the 80's. Never tried. Might have been true. Probably not. 

the midnight taco food truck (only around for maybe a year or so) would absolutely deliver weed. that thing rolled up and they opened it up to make/give you your tacos and smoke would roll out.

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F250

F250 28777

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I heard this one in the mid 90's. Someone was taking a midterm for one of those general education classes everyone has to take, the professor says he must leave and will be back at the end of class. During the test a number of people begin sharing answers while others pull out their books/notes and look up answers. At the end of the exam, the professor returns and announces that there were hidden cameras that recorded everyone during the exam.

It turns out about a 1/4 of the class was caught on tape cheating and the students caught on camera were notified that disciplinary proceedings would begin immediately. Everyone caught ended up getting expelled from the university.

Rumor was that this was a way of dealing with the overcrowding.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54230

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9 hours ago, Blanton said:

Haha heard the roommate suicide/death would result in a 4.0

 

I had friend in another freshman dorm whose roommate actually did go home one weekend and killed himself.

He actually contacted his advisor to see if there were any forms he needed to fill out to get his 4.0.  He was really disappointed that he didn't get a 4.0 because 1) he wasn't real smart and 2) he couldn't stand the guy.

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dcbc

dcbc 14484

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2 hours ago, Eastwood said:

The mermaid won't turn real and fly away if a woman graduates from UT a virgin. Shocker, I know.

I heard this as "If a virgin graduates from UT, the horses in Littlefield Fountain will fly away."

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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9046

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10 minutes ago, irockalltherocks said:

Fraternity sends sorority a box of doughnuts. The girls enjoy the doughnuts and think how thoughtful of the frat boys. Later that day the frat boys have polaroids delivered to the sorority house. Of course the pics show the doughnuts being used as cock rings.

That one was rumored to have occurred circa 1980 when I was at UT. The name of the specific sorority and fraternity were part of the story, although I’d probably get the names wrong 36-1/2 years later.

There was always a joke attached to the story because you can’t fit your pinky through a typical donut hole. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor
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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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44 minutes ago, irockalltherocks said:

Yep , I was there late '80s, early '90s, and the frat and sorority names were used in the story. Just can't remember them. Probably Chi-O for the sorority.

This came up somewhere else on these boards the other day and in that version Phi Delt was the frat. 

I heard that story in 1988. I can't remember which frat / sorority were in the version I heard there. 

The guy who woke up in the bathtub full of ice with a kidney missing supposedly was a Horn vacationing in Egypt...

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Bottlecap

Bottlecap 1523

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2 hours ago, hayden_horn said:

the midnight taco food truck (only around for maybe a year or so) would absolutely deliver weed. that thing rolled up and they opened it up to make/give you your tacos and smoke would roll out.

Midnight Tacos was SO ahead of its time. 

Still might be.

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Blanton

Blanton 170

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1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

I had friend in another freshman dorm whose roommate actually did go home one weekend and killed himself.

He actually contacted his advisor to see if there were any forms he needed to fill out to get his 4.0.  He was really disappointed that he didn't get a 4.0 because 1) he wasn't real smart and 2) he couldn't stand the guy.

That’s absurd. Never heard of anyone trying to explore that as an option

Most likely scenario would be a withdrawal for the semester without penalty. 

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Blanton

Blanton 170

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1 hour ago, RoundRobin said:

The Tower was designed by a Rice grad who made it look like an owl if you look at the clock from a corner. 

I heard this one applied to the Frost Bank Tower, but it is actually an owl, which is kinda freaky (a Rice owl, perhaps?).

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Js1

Js1 85340

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2 minutes ago, Blanton said:

That’s absurd. Never heard of anyone trying to explore that as an option

Most likely scenario would be a withdrawal for the semester without penalty. 

I hated the roommate I had the 2nd semester of my freshman year after my first roommate dropped out and went back home.  He was disgusting and never left the room and watched The Daily Show as loud as possible and proclaimed everything said on it was fact.

I told him he should kill himself so I could finally get some time to myself and a 4.0 for the semester.

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CooterBrown

CooterBrown 18013

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3 hours ago, Deej said:

The Conan's on Guadalupe would deliver weed with your pizza if you ordered the special sauce. This was in the 80's. Never tried. Might have been true. Probably not. 

But, you could get weed at the Players drive though. 

 

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abuelo gringo

abuelo gringo 321

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From the '60s:

Long time story that "Bicycle Annie" was an Indian Princess.  Debunked here, but with interesting background:

https://jeffeepalmer.com/2011/07/21/zelma-for-president/

Also, there was supposedly a guy who had been a student for 10 or so years, changing majors to continue in school just to party.  His parties were supposedly very popular.  I wasn't, so I wan't invited.  Don't remember his name, though.  May be true or legend.

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Paper_jam

Paper_jam 831

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I remember hearing  the roommate-suicide = 4.0 GPA one, the secret tunnels, the Tower/Rice/Owl thing. I also remember hearing the bathtub ice/kidney/note thing a lot. This was  early 90s.

I think I recall an employee was actually busted at Player's for selling weed from the take-out window.

 

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