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jimmyjazz

By jimmyjazz
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Bat Guano

Bat Guano 359

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So I was going to put this in the Shit I heard in a bar thread, but it fits here too.

Two guys were sitting next to each other at my regular watering hole the other night.

After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”

The other guy responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first guy says, “So am I! And where abouts in Ireland might you be?”

The other guy answers, “I’m from Dublin, I am.”

The first guy responds, “Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other guy says, “A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”

The first guy says, “Faith and it’s a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

The other guy answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s of course.”

The first guy gets really excited, and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other guy answers, “Well, now, I graduated in 1984.”

The first guy exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1984 my own self.”

About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

The bartender walks over shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again.”

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Jimbaround

Jimbaround 975

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I've got a couple.

1 - My dad has a 1955 Thunderbird that he restored.  In the process of restoring it he looked up the manufacture date.  It was manufactured on my birthday in 1955.
In the early 2000s some idiot friends and I decided to go in on a 1984 Lincoln Town Car limo.  A friend who worked at Ford looked up the manufacture date and it was made on my dad's birthday in 1984.

2 - A friend of mine invited me to the Texas ND game in Austin a few years ago.  I agreed to go, but since it was Labor day weekend I was going to drive up on Sunday (Sunday night game).  Another friend of mine who went to Notre Dame told me he was invited by his dad to go to the game and knowing I was driving up on Sunday asked me for a ride.  Our plan was to stay at my ND buddy's sister's house after the game so we arranged to connect back at his ND tailgate after the game so I could drive us to his sister's house.  When I got to my seats my ND buddy's ticket was for the seat right next to mine.

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45954

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7 hours ago, Jimbaround said:

I've got a couple.1 - My dad has a 1955 Thunderbird that he restored.  In the process of restoring it he looked up the manufacture date.  It was manufactured on my birthday in 1955.
In the early 2000s some idiot friends and I decided to go in on a 1984 Lincoln Town Car limo.  A friend who worked at Ford looked up the manufacture date and it was made on my dad's birthday in 1984.

My sort of similar story:  my family took a vacation to upstate NY when I was a young teenager.  For some reason, we ended up wandering around in a cemetery, maybe in Rochester?  Anyway, my sister yelled for me to come over, and she pointed at a headstone:  it was for someone with my exact name, born exactly 100 years (to the day) prior to my birthdate, and who died exactly 100 years prior to that day we were there.

 

Quote

2 - A friend of mine invited me to the Texas ND game in Austin a few years ago.  I agreed to go, but since it was Labor day weekend I was going to drive up on Sunday (Sunday night game).  Another friend of mine who went to Notre Dame told me he was invited by his dad to go to the game and knowing I was driving up on Sunday asked me for a ride.  Our plan was to stay at my ND buddy's sister's house after the game so we arranged to connect back at his ND tailgate after the game so I could drive us to his sister's house.  When I got to my seats my ND buddy's ticket was for the seat right next to mine.

I don't think this is terribly unlikely, but my first game at DKR was on a date with a gal who had just broken up with another guy.  We used  her pair of tickets from the student ticket draw, and he drew his own.  His seat was next to mine.  That was uncomfortable.

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11762

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On 10/10/2018 at 9:10 PM, Bevo said:

Years ago after finishing a graduate school summer abroad program, I was standing in line to check into a hostel in Interlaken Switzerland and I heard a familiar voice. I turned around and my best friend from high school was standing in line behind me. I didn't even know he was in Europe.

 

Ive got one very similar.

Summer 2006 I visited my brother in Colorado, he had just bought a new rifle and wanted to sight in his scope on the gun.  So we had to go to a rifle-capable shooting range.  the range we went to was self-policed, and had a pistol range completely separated from the rifle range by a ~15' high berm on 3 sides.  Bro and i are the only ones on the rifle range, it takes about 30 mins to sight in the rifle,  meanwhile even with ear protection (we were wearing the ear protection that keeps out gunshots, but lets you hear talking without needing to shout), we hear a father and son on the pistol range with the father obviously teaching the 10 year old kid the gun basics, and the kid is all kinds of excited and they are both yelling due to them having the regular ear protection.  We finish sighting in the rifle, and walk over to the pistol range to plink a bit. The father & son are the only ones on the pistol range, and reloading . We take a position  about 5 spots over from the father/son, and we look at them to ask if the range was hot.

my brother and I both do a double-take because the father is a spitting image of OUR FATHER...

takes me a second to realize, I am looking at our uncle & cousin- who lived in Ohio at the time!   They were on vacation,  we had no idea they were in Colorado as well.  Met them for lunch later on

 

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abuelo gringo

abuelo gringo 321

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The week before Thanksgiving 2002.  Wife and I were sitting in the Erwin Center waiting to see Jackson Browne and Tom Petty on his Last DJ tour.  Just about the time lights went down for Browne, the people behind us arrived, with the slight commotion of hurried people.  I looked around and saw our grown daughter and a friend sit down.  Neither of us knew the other was going to the concert.  Shared tastes, maybe?

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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18 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

My sort of similar story:  my family took a vacation to upstate NY when I was a young teenager.  For some reason, we ended up wandering around in a cemetery, maybe in Rochester?  Anyway, my sister yelled for me to come over, and she pointed at a headstone:  it was for someone with my exact name, born exactly 100 years (to the day) prior to my birthdate, and who died exactly 100 years prior to that day we were there.

Futureman.

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45954

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4 hours ago, abuelo gringo said:

The week before Thanksgiving 2002.  Wife and I were sitting in the Erwin Center waiting to see Jackson Browne and Tom Petty on his Last DJ tour.  Just about the time lights went down for Browne, the people behind us arrived, with the slight commotion of hurried people.  I looked around and saw our grown daughter and a friend sit down.  Neither of us knew the other was going to the concert.  Shared tastes, maybe?

My wife and I went to that show.  Coincidence?  Hmmm?

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vox

vox 70

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Hot, smart gal I knew in high school...always wanted to bang her...never had a chance...because, well, she was a senior and I was a sophmore.

Anyhow...fast forward 5 or 6 years...I'm touring Versailles in France.  I'm walking around the gardens and boom...here comes hot-stuff herself.

I walk up to her...she gives me a hug...we agree to meet for coffee later on...relations are had...and we never see each other again.

Coincidence?

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markstanco

markstanco 12577

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On 10/10/2018 at 3:30 PM, Blotto said:

Sounds like something someone who is boning their 3rd cousin would say.

I have a cousin's aunt that is also the aunt of his wife (before they were married) by marriage.  Not sure how the ancestry works there.

They live in Arkansas (not kidding). 

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Jimbaround

Jimbaround 975

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Another one:

Wife bought an old house in the before we met.  We get married and decided to move in there and remodel.  House was built in the mid 30s and it had a phone nook (pretty common for that day, a decorative wooden cut out in the hallway where the house phone would be place).  When they removed the drywall around the nook the original drywall had old phone numbers written all around the nook (e.g., LA-2697; MI-1002; etc.) with descriptions of what each number was (i.e., paperboy; grocery; etc.).  The only number with what looked like a person's name had was just my last name.  I do not have a common last name.  

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Guest

Guest

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The fact that total solar eclipses are possible is due to a coincidence of the sizes of the sun and moon and their distances from the earth.  As a kid it just seemed to make sense that one could perfectly block out the other and that the celestial bodies should "fit" in such a way, but there is no reason this has to be the case.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/life-unbounded/the-solar-eclipse-coincidence/

https://www.livescience.com/59608-why-total-solar-eclipses-are-coincidences.html

 

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threesheets

threesheets 1673

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On 10/10/2018 at 7:29 PM, F250 said:

I met a girl that was a student at the University of Madrid and wanted to go into law enforcement and a huge fan of Depeche Mode. She was blown away when I told her I was also studying psychology and planning to go into law enforcement and a huge fan of Depeche Mode. We had sex 24 hours later.

I was actually a computer science major but faking coincidences was part of the game.

 

matt-dillon.png

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Paul Wesley

Paul Wesley 3278

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Many years ago, I had just moved back to Austin, and I needed to find a piano tuner for my grand piano.  A musician buddy of mine had given me a name and phone number of his tuning guy, and I took that scrap of paper home and tossed it on my desk.

A few weeks later, I was having one of those days where you make up your mind to be productive and get the clutter off your desk.  I had just finished writing checks and paying bills, and I come across this phone number.  I call him, and as the phone is ringing, I start walking with the handful of stamped letters to leave in my mailbox (the mailboxes in that neighborhood were all at the street).  

So the guy answers, and I tell him I need to get my piano tuned.  He says, "OK, I got my appointment book.  Let's get your info.  Name?  Address?"  And I tell him, "XX08 So-and-so Drive."  And with this incredulous tone of voice, he asks me to repeat my address back a couple more times.  Then he goes, "I'm at XX07."  

By this time, I've gotten to the mailbox with my mail, and I look across the street and there's the guy in my neighbor's driveway talking on *his* cell phone and looking over at me.  

We were about 50 feet away from each other.  

And this was in south Austin, and the piano tuner lived in Round Rock.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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1 minute ago, Paul Wesley said:

Many years ago, I had just moved back to Austin, and I needed to find a piano tuner for my grand piano.  A musician buddy of mine had given me a name and phone number of his tuning guy, and I took that scrap of paper home and tossed it on my desk.

A few weeks later, I was having one of those days where you make up your mind to be productive and get the clutter off your desk.  I had just finished writing checks and paying bills, and I come across this phone number.  I call him, and as the phone is ringing, I start walking with the handful of stamped letters to leave in my mailbox (the mailboxes in that neighborhood were all at the street).  

So the guy answers, and I tell him I need to get my piano tuned.  He says, "OK, I got my appointment book.  Let's get your info.  Name?  Address?"  And I tell him, "XX08 So-and-so Drive."  And with this incredulous tone of voice, he asks me to repeat my address back a couple more times.  Then he goes, "I'm at XX07."  

By this time, I've gotten to the mailbox with my mail, and I look across the street and there's the guy in my neighbor's driveway talking on *his* cell phone and looking over at me.  

We were about 50 feet away from each other.  

And this was in south Austin, and the piano tuner lived in Round Rock.

And that piano tuners name ?  Albert Einstein.....

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Doc Holliday

Doc Holliday 199

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when I was 18 I was hanging at my buddies house with my crew of friends.  we were all in his room being stupid and his phone rings and I see it's my home phone number.   my mom says she's kicking me out of the house.  after the call, I tell them what happened, and he's like dude, that phone hasn't worked in over a year.  so coincidence? 

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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55 minutes ago, Doc Holliday said:

when I was 18 I was hanging at my buddies house with my crew of friends.  we were all in his room being stupid and his phone rings and I see it's my home phone number.   my mom says she's kicking me out of the house.  after the call, I tell them what happened, and he's like dude, that phone hasn't worked in over a year.  so coincidence? 

No your buddy was just jerking your chain.

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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Weirdest one I've ever heard of:

 

Quote

Anthony Hopkins was delighted to hear that he had landed a leading role in a film based on the book The Girl From Petrovka by George Feifer. A few days after signing the contract, Hopkins travelled to London to buy a copy of the book. He tried several bookshops, but there wasn't one to be had. Waiting at Leicester Square underground for his train home, he noticed a book apparently discarded on a bench. Incredibly, it was The Girl From Petrovka. That in itself would have been coincidence enough but in fact it was merely the beginning of an extraordinary chain of events. Two years later, in the middle of filming in Vienna, Hopkins was visited by George Feifer, the author. Feifer mentioned that he did not have a copy of his own book. He had lent the last one - containing his own annotations - to a friend who had lost it somewhere in London. With mounting astonishment, Hopkins handed Feifer the book he had found. 'Is this the one?' he asked, 'with the notes scribbled in the margins?' It was the same book."

 

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10864

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On 10/14/2018 at 11:44 PM, vox said:

Hot, smart gal I knew in high school...always wanted to bang her...never had a chance...because, well, she was a senior and I was a sophmore.

Anyhow...fast forward 5 or 6 years...I'm touring Versailles in France.  I'm walking around the gardens and boom...here comes hot-stuff herself.

I walk up to her...she gives me a hug...we agree to meet for coffee later on...relations are had...and we never see each other again.

Coincidence?

nope.  that's called taking advantage of your opportunities.  what's a real coincidence is that everyone on this board has likely squandered incredibly opportunities for moar and better pipe fulfillment.  it's amazing.

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10864

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On 10/15/2018 at 10:15 AM, Aphelion said:

The fact that total solar eclipses are possible is due to a coincidence of the sizes of the sun and moon and their distances from the earth.  As a kid it just seemed to make sense that one could perfectly block out the other and that the celestial bodies should "fit" in such a way, but there is no reason this has to be the case.

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/life-unbounded/the-solar-eclipse-coincidence/

https://www.livescience.com/59608-why-total-solar-eclipses-are-coincidences.html

Moon data - proceed at your own risk

1/ The Moon has a diameter that is 400 times less than the Sun; 2/ The Sun is 400 times further away; 3/ This is happening at a time* when there are intelligent creatures on Earth who can wonder about this coincidence, and calculate its parameters.

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-the-Moon-both-400-times-smaller-and-400-times-closer-than-the-Sun

https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/luna/esp_luna_16.htm

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10864

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"Chapel perilous" refers to a psychological state in which an individual cannot be certain whether they have been aided or hindered by some force outside the realm of the natural world, or whether what appeared to be supernatural interference was a product of their own imagination. It was used by the late writer and philosopher Robert Anton Wilson (1932–2007) in his book Cosmic Trigger (1977). According to Wilson, being in this state leads the subject to become either paranoid or an agnostic. In his opinion there is no third way.

The term "chapel perilous" was also used by Antero Alli in his 1986 book, Angel Tech: A Modern Shaman's Guide to Reality Selection which is based on Timothy Leary's eight-circuit model of consciousness. In Alli's book chapel perilous is a rite of passage, when moving between the four lower circuits of consciousness to the higher circuits.

Anyone who wants to enter Chapel Perilous and do The Work should consider Cosmic Trigger.  One of my other favorite works by Wilson is Prometheus Rising (1983) which describes the Leary 8-circuit model, which I have found to be useful in dealing with the vast majority of our fellow citizens.

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Rollo Tomassi

Rollo Tomassi 80

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On 10/22/2018 at 4:09 PM, MrBig said:

My roommate for freshman orientation was a dude from California. He had an irrational fear of people throwing up in front of him. He said that when he was 7, a kid threw up on his head at Magic Mountain. That kid was me. 

I can't tell if you're serious.  If so, that's fucking awesome.

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Sandman

Sandman 3403

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On ‎10‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 9:47 PM, jimmyjazz said:

My sort of similar story:  my family took a vacation to upstate NY when I was a young teenager.  For some reason, we ended up wandering around in a cemetery, maybe in Rochester?  Anyway, my sister yelled for me to come over, and she pointed at a headstone:  it was for someone with my exact name, born exactly 100 years (to the day) prior to my birthdate, and who died exactly 100 years prior to that day we were there.

 

My wife and I went to DC on our honeymoon in 2009. As we were walking through Arlington Cemetery, I happened to look to my left and saw my own name on a headstone. Talk about eerie, to find my not-overly-common name on one headstone out of the thousands in that place. The guy won the Medal of Honor, too. Died in 1895. 

We went back to DC this year for vacation. I purposely made it back to his grave to say hello.

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Doc Holliday

Doc Holliday 199

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On ‎10‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 7:33 PM, Hagbard Celine said:

nope.  that's called taking advantage of your opportunities.  what's a real coincidence is that everyone on this board has likely squandered incredibly opportunities for moar and better pipe fulfillment.  it's amazing.

incredibly yes I have squandered many and now I am going to go eat my emotions - coincidence? 

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Whatever

Whatever 700

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On 10/11/2018 at 12:17 PM, Huckleberry said:
On 10/11/2018 at 12:09 PM, Beau Vine said:
To me, the most amazing coincidence is that JFK was shot right in front of the Kennedy Memorial.

Still not as crazy as Lou Gehrig getting Lou Gehrig's disease.

What about Tommy John having Tommy John surgery?

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