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Comic Relief: Satirical Tweets and Memes

Hugo Stiglitz

By Hugo Stiglitz
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Hookah Horns

Hookah Horns 3089

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On 12/13/2021 at 4:20 PM, Lobo said:

Okay.  Kinda weird that suddenly, there's all these 60+ year old rumors she performed oral sex on men at soundstages.  Didn't come out when was First Lady, after Ronnie died, after she died.  But now?  When clearly there is a huge contender for Former First Lady with most cock-sucking experience.  Now the prize is up for grabs, archivists are digging into the stat books?  Not saying Nancy didn't play the field back in the day, but there is absolutely no question which Former First Lady has had the most cocks in her mouth (both at once and in career aggregate).  It's not even close.  But kudos to the sportswriters for trying to compare GOAT's across eras, never an easy task.  The game was just different.  

Per the Vice article linked above your post, it came out in a 1992 biography. 

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2204

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Posted
1 hour ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

Nice try, i guess. Just underscores how damaged of a person you are. Good luck on whatever fruitless crusade it is you're on. It doesn't involve me in the least. 

You go to your kid and hand them a beer.

"You know I wouldn't have cried if you died seconds before you past the birth canal?"

"Yeah,dad?"

"Yep, it's cause I don't believe you're human till after. "

"I'm glad I didn't. You love me now that I am human."

"Me too."

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 46168

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6 hours ago, workswithseed said:

You go to your kid and hand them a beer.

"You know I wouldn't have cried if you died seconds before you past the birth canal?"

"Yeah,dad?"

"Yep, it's cause I don't believe you're human till after. "

"I'm glad I didn't. You love me now that I am human."

"Me too."

First of all, passed. And second of all, wtf. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Yeah, my fictitious two-person conversation posts on here are much funnier.  

I don't believe there are any sacred cows in comedy.  But WWS, to shine a light on pro-choice political hypocrisy using the example of a baby not completely through the birth canal, you're gonna have to be infinitely wittier than this.  There's a reason there's not a lot of political humorists on the scene right now doing bits on 39th week of pregnancy jokes.  If I believed that there were any topics off limits in comedy, the list would probably start with stillborn babies.  But hey, I'm trying to be more optimistic in 2022, so maybe you're on to something Gold! 

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Bojack

Bojack 2091

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7 hours ago, workswithseed said:

You go to your kid and hand them a beer.

"You know I wouldn't have cried if you died seconds before you past the birth canal?"

"Yeah,dad?"

"Yep, it's cause I don't believe you're human till after. "

"I'm glad I didn't. You love me now that I am human."

"Me too."

You should get more shit for this post than you do for your GoFundMe.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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13 hours ago, Hookah Horns said:

Per the Vice article linked above your post, it came out in a 1992 biography. 

Well shit, I wasn't reading a lot of books about former first ladies when I was 15.  But had I known there was a chapter on a cock-crazed famous broad from Hollywood, it would have been on my reading list.  Damn, 15 year old me would have given a great book report on that for U.S. History class, too.

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2204

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Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, my fictitious two-person conversation posts on here are much funnier.  

I don't believe there are any sacred cows in comedy.  But WWS, to shine a light on pro-choice political hypocrisy using the example of a baby not completely through the birth canal, you're gonna have to be infinitely wittier than this.  There's a reason there's not a lot of political humorists on the scene right now doing bits on 39th week of pregnancy jokes.  If I believed that there were any topics off limits in comedy, the list would probably start with stillborn babies.  But hey, I'm trying to be more optimistic in 2022, so maybe you're on to something Gold! 

I was literally thinking of your posts while writing this. First one, is never going to be your best. The best thing about still born babies is they're much easier to fight than a chimpanzee.

Edited by workswithseed
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

I have to admit, I'm touched that you would literally think of me.  

But still, I gotta warn you, stillborn baby humor is only in its infancy.  Tread lightly.

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2204

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

I have to admit, I'm touched that you would literally think of me.  

But still, I gotta warn you, stillborn baby humor is only in its infancy.  Tread lightly.

I'm just glad we agree dead babies are bad. Now what does abortion make? If stillborns are babies, cause I'm not seeing the difference.

 

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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Posted
17 minutes ago, workswithseed said:

I'm just glad we agree dead babies are bad. Now what does abortion make? If stillborns are babies, cause I'm not seeing the difference.

I'm sure out there somewhere is someone, maybe a few someones, who believe that an abortion is no big deal. Most pro-choice people I know, though, would be happy if there were no abortions by way of preventing unwanted pregnancies. Most view it as a tragic event that in some circumstances, to be judged by the mother, is necessary.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted
1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

I mean, nobody is advocating skinning babies alive.  I'M AGAINST THAT.  Does that help?

And thanks to efforts like yours, the Washington Football Team changed its name.

 

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DDD Dad

DDD Dad 14653

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

link? first I've heard of this

There is a CNN producer who apparently was recruiting young teenage girls as sex toys.  Really disgusting stuff.  IIRC he got caught by texting with an undercover agent.  Too many clicks to find the story.  But that was a week or so ago.

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Longhorn_Fan68

Longhorn_Fan68 34106

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11 minutes ago, DDD Dad said:

There is a CNN producer who apparently was recruiting young teenage girls as sex toys.  Really disgusting stuff.  IIRC he got caught by texting with an undercover agent.  Too many clicks to find the story.  But that was a week or so ago.

oh, well, fuck that guy, then. I assume he's not still employed at CNN?

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DDD Dad

DDD Dad 14653

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17 minutes ago, Bravo said:

So I guess CNN and MSNBC aren't reporting this?

I guess not.

CNN

NBC

And yet, despite both networks reporting the story on December 11, Fox News claims on December 15 that they ignored the story.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/msnbc-abc-cbs-nbc-ignore-cnn-producer-john-griffin

Edited by DDD Dad
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Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 8265

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22 minutes ago, DDD Dad said:

I guess not.

CNN

NBC

And yet, despite both networks reporting the story on December 11, Fox News claims on December 15 that they ignored the story.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/msnbc-abc-cbs-nbc-ignore-cnn-producer-john-griffin

You’re just hiding behind facts and statistics.

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Longhorn_Fan68

Longhorn_Fan68 34106

Posted
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9 minutes ago, Bravo said:

A story buried on their website is not what I was talking about. Did they actually have a talking head broadcast a story on their networks? They have. I was just commenting on someone saying they heard nothing about this. 

you asked a question you knew the answer to?

pro tip: ask questions of things you don't already know. questions seem to work a little better that way

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MoJames

MoJames 8258

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Posted
1 hour ago, Bravo said:

A story buried on their website is not what I was talking about. Did they actually have a talking head broadcast a story on their networks? They have. I was just commenting on someone saying they heard nothing about this. 

This makes me think you are a Pedo

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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8 hours ago, Willfully Horn said:

image.jpeg.f3fe571f0a082627dfe41d4f25cec14f.jpeg

Yeah, my Melania has taken more loads than a UPS cross-docking facility the week of Christmas.  I'm no fan of Michelle or Jill Biden, but it's comical to me what a out and out fucking whore of a woman Melania Trump was, and continues to be.  I mean, now she's a high-class whore who trades sexual favors with Donald for money, prestige, and it's the only way she can secure a future for Barron (whom, for the record, she does appear to truly love and want to protect---never said she wasn't a good mom).  But for decades, she was just a cum-guzzling Slovenian semen-dumpster.  So naturally, true Alpha Males in America have taken to her with great affection.  Because secretly, they want a sip.

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