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Posted

Top this prank.

Keith Richards bastard kid? 

 

 

Tastes a bit gritty....

 

A student in Davis, California has claimed that around two weeks ago, she and a co-conspirator gave nine classmates cookies containing her grandfather's ashes.

At least some of the students were aware there were ashes in the cookies before they consumed them, police told the Los Angeles Times on Tuesday. Others were apparently unaware and were "horrified" when they found out. 

So far, it is unclear why the student felt motivated to bring desserts with human remains in them to school. Since the cookies have already been eaten, it is also unclear how we can be sure they contained ashes at all -- although a classmate of the alleged perpetrator did say he "didn't believe her until she pulled out the urn."

What a thing to say.

In a letter to parents on Tuesday, the principal of Da Vinci Charter Academy maintained that "there is no health risk to our campus or to any one of our students."

"We regret that this story has been taken up by the media," he also wrote.

What do you think? Would you eat a human ash cookie? Personally, I would not choose to eat a human ash cookie, but it also does not sound like the worst thing in the world. Sure, there are technically human remains in there, but it's not like they are recognizable as human remains. If you simply must do cannibalism, it's probably the best version of doing cannibalism.

Anyway, authorities had not tested the treats as of Tuesday, apparently, so this could all be a big to-do for nothing. Good lesson, though: Be suspicious of all sugar cookies.

Posted
31 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Anything that comes out of a crematorium is basically a pile of carbon. All the goodies have combusted. 

I've seen both Alton Brown and Steve Raichlen cook steaks directly in contact with smoldering charcoal. On New Scandanavian Cooking (one of the most bizarre cooking shows ever made) I've seen a guy burn straw and mix the ashes with salt then rub the mixture on meat before cooking.

How bad could grandpa taste? Probably should've gone with a more savory dish. 

Posted
11 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Every breath you take you are inhaling somebody....

 

10 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

And one of Julius Caesar's fart molecules, too. 

I'd prefer to think more of J-Lo's ass sweat and twat juice.

Posted
38 minutes ago, phdhorn said:

 

I'd prefer to think more of J-Lo's ass sweat and twat juice.

She might be too contemporary for her ass molecules to have diffused evenly throughout our atmosphere. You should probably get as close as possible to her gooch for maximum potential exposure. 

But I'm no assbuttologist. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Eastwood said:

You know, bone meal was a popular dietary supplement at one time. She was just looking out for her fellow students' bone health.

An important part of a balanced diet?

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