Running Alt-Right Thread of Mockery and Hypocrisy

[Longhorn_Fan68 33887]

it's always funny to me when people don't understand that going to another country means you're subject to their laws. they say travel expands ones horizon - I just laugh at the ones who get trebuchet'd toward it 

[CoTex 1161]

6 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

it's always funny to me when people don't understand that going to another country means you're subject to their laws. they say travel expands ones horizon - I just laugh at the ones who get trebuchet'd toward it 

I like it when you see someone try to be a smartass or toughster with the foreign country's cops or TSA.  I witnessed this last year in a Caribbean country not T&C.  

Dude, these guys get paid like $7 a day to sit here and deal with your shit.  They live in some shack without electricity.  When they figure out you'll pay them everything in your wallet to stop the beating... the beating will start.

 

[jimmyjazz 46094]

I have an easy solution -- never travel with firearms or ammo, ever.  Whoa, what a mind-blowing concept!  No leftovers that will land you in a 3rd-world prison.

[mdmost 43030]

1 hour ago, Pancho said:

 

Did that guy kneel during the anthem? I have to decide if I should care about unjust detainments based on if he did that or not. 

[BamaATL 16593]

A number of years ago I had to travel out of the country for business.  Prior to leaving, in a meeting I mentioned that I was going to read the State Department's advisory prior.  You'd have thought I was a Martian based on the bewildered looks I got.  Very few people seem to remotely understand that when you go to another country you are a guest and need to act accordingly.  

[Matuka 1310]

4 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I am forgetful AF but I do not understand how anyone could "forget" they have ammo or firearms in their bags when they fly.  

Went on a self-guided rafting, fly fishing trip in 2012 to SW Alaska.  Weather delayed our arrival by a day on our in-bound flight by float plane to the drop off lake.  This had a reverberating effect when it was time to be picked up by our wheel plane at the local Inuit airstrip 5 days later.  Flights were delayed across the region and we were worried if we were going to make it back to Anchorage for the return flight to DFW the following morning.

I took a .44 magnum for bear protection on the trip along with a full box of heavy load ammo.  I dutifully checked in my firearm and ammo at DFW at the start of the trip.  But when the float trip ended , we were delayed getting back to Anchorage.  We made it back to Anchorage late, took a cab to our hotel, made the driver wait while we dropped our luggage.  Then we had him drive us to a bad ass pizza place in town before it closed.

After long day of breaking camp, rowing to our pickup point, traveling by boat to the airstrip, taking a plane to Dillingham, taking a turbo prop to Anchorage, and eating pizza and drinking beer, I was dead tired.  Asked my buddy at the hotel what time our flight was the next morning and he said something like 10:00 am.  I immediately went to bed.  Woke up about 7:00 the next morning, about to take a shower for the first time in 6 days.   But decided to check my phone first to see what time our flight left.  Flight leaves in an hour.  

We make a mad dash to the airport, check my revolver in at ticketing and put it in my check in duffle bag and quickly proceed to security carrying my backpack as they are announcing boarding for my flight.

I forgot to remove my box of ammo from my backpack.  Gulp…

 

 

[Ted Lange 16113]

 

[royiv 9339]

6 hours ago, Pancho said:

 

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess the same people were singing a different tune when Britney Griner was detained in Russia.

[Brisketexan 105274]

Went on a self-guided rafting, fly fishing trip in 2012 to SW Alaska.  Weather delayed our arrival by a day on our in-bound flight by float plane to the drop off lake.  This had a reverberating effect when it was time to be picked up by our wheel plane at the local Inuit airstrip 5 days later.  Flights were delayed across the region and we were worried if we were going to make it back to Anchorage for the return flight to DFW the following morning.
I took a .44 magnum for bear protection on the trip along with a full box of heavy load ammo.  I dutifully checked in my firearm and ammo at DFW at the start of the trip.  But when the float trip ended , we were delayed getting back to Anchorage.  We made it back to Anchorage late, took a cab to our hotel, made the driver wait while we dropped our luggage.  Then we had him drive us to a bad ass pizza place in town before it closed.
After long day of breaking camp, rowing to our pickup point, traveling by boat to the airstrip, taking a plane to Dillingham, taking a turbo prop to Anchorage, and eating pizza and drinking beer, I was dead tired.  Asked my buddy at the hotel what time our flight was the next morning and he said something like 10:00 am.  I immediately went to bed.  Woke up about 7:00 the next morning, about to take a shower for the first time in 6 days.   But decided to check my phone first to see what time our flight left.  Flight leaves in an hour.  

We make a mad dash to the airport, check my revolver in at ticketing and put it in my check in duffle bag and quickly proceed to security carrying my backpack as they are announcing boarding for my flight.
I forgot to remove my box of ammo from my backpack.  Gulp…
 
 

You were at least traveling on a hunting trip. This dipshit was just going to a beach.
To be clear, I have a backpack that has ammo and such in it. It’s the ONLY bag I use to carry ammo (other than range bags, which literally only go to the range and back).
I have another backpack that does not.
The first backpack goes ONLY on hunting trips. The second does not.
There. For those of us who aren’t flying with ammo on purpose, I just gave you the easy, guaranteed way to avoid accidentally traveling with ammo.

[Gil Bang 25999]

On 4/4/2024 at 4:15 PM, NameAlreadyInUse said:

Another example of why you should never trust anyone who is too public with displays of either a fish or a cross. 

in my old construction lending days, if some asshole had either on his business card, I looked very hard for a reason to not make the loan.   

In the construction world, those symbols scream "prepare your anus".

[Post Oak 20256]

7 hours ago, Ted Lange said:

 

Let this be a warning to everyone. You come for Arch Manning you best not miss.

[SamsCorner 395]

7 hours ago, royiv said:

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess the same people were singing a different tune when Britney Griner was detained in Russia.

I hope the State Department works as hard for this guy as they did for Brittney Griner.

[BamaATL 16593]

6 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

in my old construction lending days, if some asshole had either on his business card, I looked very hard for a reason to not make the loan.   

In the construction world, those symbols scream "prepare your anus".

If you are a subcontractor working with those sorts you can also prepare thy anus.  Long before it was a common joke, I can recall steering clear of a couple of companies who during interviews made it a clear point that they were like a "Christian family".  

[DigglerontheHoof 21212]

Any company that has any mention of religion or faith in their marketing/ads is automatically disqualified from receiving business from me.  I assume they're crooks. 

[BamaATL 16593]

18 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Any company that has any mention of religion or faith in their marketing/ads is automatically disqualified from receiving business from me.  I assume they're crooks. 

Plus those folks make lumpy pillows.  

[YGIFS 19452]

43 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Any company that has any mention of religion or faith in their marketing/ads is automatically disqualified from receiving business from me.  I assume they're crooks. 

At my wife's Catholic Parish (I am not R.C.), every now and again after service, I'd chat a slight bit of business with some of the guys I knew.  Nothing heavy, just light banter and maybe schedule a coffee or lunch.  Wife would tell me that it's frowned upon by the Church to talk shop on the Sabbath.  Then I showed her the last 3 pages of the bulletin, all ads by parishioners for insurance, real estate, wealth management, dentistry, etc.  All with crosses or fish.  She explained that "well, that's different...they're supporting the church with those ads."  Yeah, how do you think we make the money to support this church?  Doing business and networking.  A glamour shot ad with a fish symbol on it somehow makes it noble, but me scheduling a luncheon is a sin?  

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

12 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

At my wife's Catholic Parish (I am not R.C.), every now and again after service, I'd chat a slight bit of business with some of the guys I knew.  Nothing heavy, just light banter and maybe schedule a coffee or lunch.  Wife would tell me that it's frowned upon by the Church to talk shop on the Sabbath.  Then I showed her the last 3 pages of the bulletin, all ads by parishioners for insurance, real estate, wealth management, dentistry, etc.  All with crosses or fish.  She explained that "well, that's different...they're supporting the church with those ads."  Yeah, how do you think we make the money to support this church?  Doing business and networking.  A glamour shot ad with a fish symbol on it somehow makes it noble, but me scheduling a luncheon is a sin?  

 

If the church isn't getting its taste, doing business on the sabbath is a sin. 

 

 

[CoTex 1161]

7 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

in my old construction lending days, if some asshole had either on his business card, I looked very hard for a reason to not make the loan.   

In the construction world, those symbols scream "prepare your anus".

My favorite is when you're in a board meeting about to vote on something (and I've been in 2 where we were deliberating and about to vote on someone's future - hiring/firing - and this happened) and someone rolls out something to the effect of "I've prayed about this and God has led me to know that _________."

Sheeeyit.  I can't argue with that.  You've got the almighty on your side.  The alpha and omega.  All I did was run this by my wife after a few cocktails, sleep on it, and apply my experience, reason and education to the question. 

I was feeling pretty confident with my pair of deuces and you just pulled out the Mississippi flush.  I guess I just lose.  Discussion over, thanks be to God.

[BrickHorn 18277]

1 minute ago, CoTex said:

My favorite is when you're in a board meeting about to vote on something (and I've been in 2 where we were deliberating and about to vote on someone's future - hiring/firing - and this happened) and someone rolls out something to the effect of "I've prayed about this and God has led me to know that _________."

I would respond “I also prayed about this last night and God told me he was just fucking with you.”

[Al Czervik 1229]

28 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

If the church isn't getting its taste, doing business on the sabbath is a sin. 

 

 

 

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

9 minutes ago, CoTex said:

My favorite is when you're in a board meeting about to vote on something (and I've been in 2 where we were deliberating and about to vote on someone's future - hiring/firing - and this happened) and someone rolls out something to the effect of "I've prayed about this and God has led me to know that _________."

Sheeeyit.  I can't argue with that.  You've got the almighty on your side.  The alpha and omega.  All I did was run this by my wife after a few cocktails, sleep on it, and apply my experience, reason and education to the question. 

I was feeling pretty confident with my pair of deuces and you just pulled out the Mississippi flush.  I guess I just lose.  Discussion over, thanks be to God.

 

I have a co-worker who whenever he needs to make a decision about something will say "I'll pray on it."

 

[Gatorubet 30290]

1 hour ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Any company that has any mention of religion or faith in their marketing/ads is automatically disqualified from receiving business from me.  I assume they're crooks. 

This is an important life lesson and one that I shared with my sons.  Never do business with self-professed Christians (who market as such anyway) because you will get screwed.  It is a given.  

[CoTex 1161]

6 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

This is an important life lesson and one that I shared with my sons.  Never do business with self-professed Christians (who market as such anyway) because you will get screwed.  It is a given.  

Look, they don't mean to screw you, they're really good people but... reasons, excuses, and voila, the miracle was late so you get to hold the bag. 

"Sorry, I'll see you at megachurch on Sunday. I'll be wearing expensive clothes and my conscience will be unburdened."

[SydneyCarton 48150]

19 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

This is an important life lesson and one that I shared with my sons.  Never do business with self-professed Christians (who market as such anyway) because you will get screwed.  It is a given.  

100% this, as others have said. I had a guy redo my driveway during Covid, on the recommendation of a guy who works on our yard. "Oh, he seems like a good guy, he warehouses next to mine." Dude was all Christ this, Christ that, very polite. And he did the worst job ever. A year into it cracks everywhere, and if you powerwash it the concrete literally comes up. It was basically "Do I spend more time and money suing this guy or let it go?" Pretty sure that's his business model. Lesson learned. 

[atomheartbevo 89777]

Whenever I need to make a decision, I tell co-workers that “I’ll pray on it” so they’ll shut the fuck up and leave me alone.

[Gatorubet 30290]

1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

Whenever I need to make a decision, I tell co-workers that “I’ll pray on it” so they’ll shut the fuck up and leave me alone.

I would’ve liked it better if you had told them you had to check with the rest of the Coven. 

[CoTex 1161]

15 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

I would’ve liked it better if you had told them you had to check with the rest of the Coven. 

I'm going to round table this one with the boys down at Carcosa and get back with you.  May summon some dark spirits just to make sure I'm on the right track.

[Cousin Strawberry 1261]

11 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

in my old construction lending days, if some asshole had either on his business card, I looked very hard for a reason to not make the loan.   

In the construction world, those symbols scream "prepare your anus".

Yep.  When I see the cross or the fish, I know you're shady as fuck.  I also don't patronize businesses with the word "patriot" in their name.

[Homesickhorn 2208]

100% this, as others have said. I had a guy redo my driveway during Covid, on the recommendation of a guy who works on our yard. "Oh, he seems like a good guy, he warehouses next to mine." Dude was all Christ this, Christ that, very polite. And he did the worst job ever. A year into it cracks everywhere, and if you powerwash it the concrete literally comes up. It was basically "Do I spend more time and money suing this guy or let it go?" Pretty sure that's his business model. Lesson learned. 

This reminds me of the Jim Gaffigan bit about Jesus being a shitty carpenter.
“I’m really glad that whole son-of-God thing panned out for him. Because he built me a shed last year and that thing was a piece of shit”.

[Blotto 23568]

3 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

I have a co-worker who whenever he needs to make a decision about something will say "I'll pray on it."

 

If I were a CEO and heard an employee say that, I would fire them on the spot for being too fucking stupid to work for me. That would probably lead to my termination as well, so I have tried to avoid the shackles of management. Lulz at some sky daddy giving two fucks about whether or not the Mr.Coffee should be replaced by a Kuerig.

[Francisco 2.0 32416]

37 minutes ago, Cousin Strawberry said:

Yep.  When I see the cross or the fish, I know you're shady as fuck.  I also don't patronize businesses with the word "patriot" in their name.

 

I've noticed a trend in the past few years with companies (roofers or other home repairs, specificially) where they don't have a cross or a fish next to their name, but they drive a lifted, wrapped F250 with the name of their business and use the terms "veteran owned" or something similar.  I'm not suggesting for a moment that they are shady, but...if you have to emphasize that you are a veteran in your advertising, well...you aren't much different to me than someone emphasizing their religion in their advertising.

[TeeDubya 3362]

3 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

I've noticed a trend in the past few years with companies (roofers or other home repairs, specificially) where they don't have a cross or a fish next to their name, but they drive a lifted, wrapped F250 with the name of their business and use the terms "veteran owned" or something similar.  I'm not suggesting for a moment that they are shady, but...if you have to emphasize that you are a veteran in your advertising, well...you aren't much different to me than someone emphasizing their religion in their advertising.

Lord yes.  
They should've prayed about it before installing that lift kit and wrap.

[Biff Tannen 45712]

On 4/24/2024 at 4:12 PM, DigglerontheHoof said:

I am forgetful AF but I do not understand how anyone could "forget" they have ammo or firearms in their bags when they fly.  

The amount of guns confiscated by TSA every year is astounding.

Edited April 25 by Biff Tannen
I see this has been addressed

[ohchaucer 1443]

Look, they don't mean to screw you, they're really good people but... reasons, excuses, and voila, the miracle was late so you get to hold the bag. 
"Sorry, I'll see you at megachurch on Sunday. I'll be wearing expensive clothes and my conscience will be unburdened."

Hey, Buddy. We’re Christians and we don’t like what you said?

Yeah, then forgive me.

- William Melvin Hicks

[Francisco 2.0 32416]

 

 

 

[Art Vandelay 1712]

45 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

 

 

LOL. I always thought "Trump Derangement Syndrome" describes the cult-like MAGA followers much more accurately than it does his detractors.

Edited April 26 by Art Vandelay

[jimmyjazz 46094]

On 4/25/2024 at 1:08 PM, Blotto said:

If I were a CEO and heard an employee say that, I would fire them on the spot for being too fucking stupid to work for me. That would probably lead to my termination as well, 

Yeah, I think that whole "can't discriminate on the basis of religion" thing would turn into a problem for you.

[Art Vandelay 1712]

One of the biggest MAGA/Trumpers on my Facebook feed, a guy from my hometown, just posted this without the slightest bit of irony or self-awareness. I mean, this could be the damn MAGA playbook for fuck sake.

[GenXer 2949]

Could be the maga playbook?

[C-Man 27254]

[GenXer 2949]

Chad is addicted to mangos like I am for sumo mandarin oranges

[YGIFS 19452]

I was today years old when I learned of a fruit called "Sumo Mandarin Orange."  And I love citrus.  Not as much Chad likes mangos, but quite a bit. 

 That receipt is the most bullshit mistake in retail.  It's gotta be fake.  You could walk into a Sam's Club or Costco and request to buy all their mangos.  And they'd hand you a crate of 100 'cause that's all sane store carries.  And then he goes and requests 459 mangos?  That's not even a real number for mangos.  Maybe by weight, but it looks like he bought the individually.  If you asked for 19.13 cases of mangos, Chris Kattan would magically appear and whip your ass and they'd revoke your membership.  This is like another version of that bullshit Taco Bell receipt to reflect inflation when in fact they just bought a whole buncha shit when drunk.  

[GenXer 2949]

If you like oranges, sumo will be like crack. Easy to peal, thin membrane, rarely have seeds, and tastes like candy. They first appeared in Dallas about 8 years ago at Market Street. They show up in grocery stores mid-Jan and the season wraps up in march. They’re now being grown in the southern hemisphere so the season is now being extended.

[Biff Tannen 45712]

31 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I was today years old when I learned of a fruit called "Sumo Mandarin Orange."  And I love citrus.  Not as much Chad likes mangos, but quite a bit. 

 That receipt is the most bullshit mistake in retail.  It's gotta be fake.  You could walk into a Sam's Club or Costco and request to buy all their mangos.  And they'd hand you a crate of 100 'cause that's all sane store carries.  And then he goes and requests 459 mangos?  That's not even a real number for mangos.  Maybe by weight, but it looks like he bought the individually.  If you asked for 19.13 cases of mangos, Chris Kattan would magically appear and whip your ass and they'd revoke your membership.  This is like another version of that bullshit Taco Bell receipt to reflect inflation when in fact they just bought a whole buncha shit when drunk.  

Ben Whofleck what?

[YGIFS 19452]

My god, you're right.  He didn't spend $450 on fruit.  He spent $450 for a night with Chris Kattan to get a part in that movie "Night at the Roxbury"

'The money's on the dresser, Chocolate Mango' 

[grazinhorn 472]

On 4/29/2024 at 10:15 PM, YGIFS said:

If you asked for 19.13 cases of mangos, Chris Kattan would magically appear and whip your ass and they'd revoke your membership.  

Jesus, man.  I may not post much, but I've been around long enough to know how insane you are.  Insanely brilliant in this case.

[MissingInAction 25172]

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

32 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

He's not dead, he's just Festering...

[GenXer 2949]

59 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

He’s getting Weekend at Bernie’s-ed

 

 

[texasdago 7577]

I can't remember the context of the conversation, but I remember talking to a prospective customer and when I asked him how he was doing he boasted, "I am blessed and highly favored"

One of those cases where you choose not to do business with them.