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Running Alt-Right Thread of Mockery and Hypocrisy

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104560

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1 minute ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

Before you graduate 6th grade you should know how babies are made, that Santa Claus isn't real, and that Trump lost the 2020 election.

This just in:

GOP representatives introduce legislation BANNING schools from teaching any of those subjects.

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bolverk

bolverk 29397

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3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I went to a catholic school for middle school.  Being forward-thinking, the school governing board was actually contemplating introducing some basic sex ed.  I actually showed up at the meeting as a student to speak in favor of it.  But the best moment was when one of the most self-righteous moms (her name was Pat, everyone mockingly called her "Pope") gave a rant about how our kids were too young and innocent to hear anything about these lewd adult topics.  It would spoil our pure little minds.

As she ranted, I leaned over to my mom and said "so, when I give my remarks, should I mention that we've all seen her cheerleader daughter getting fingered in the back of the bus when we're traveling back from night games?"  My mom wisely suggested I should keep that to myself.

But the rule is the same here -- his opposition to sex ed almost certainly means that his kids are engaged in all kinds of sexual activity.  Alternative: HE is engaged in sex with kids.  

 

3 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I was raised Presbyterian.  At age 6, our church tasked one church school teacher and his wife with teaching sex ed to the boys and girls, respectively.  It was a very matter of fact lecture, simple biology and anatomy, nobody was embarrassed, there were plenty of questions, etc.  We all went on about our lives knowing how birds knock up bees.  (Well, maybe I got that part wrong.)

Only one of that group of ~ 40 kids ever dealt with a premarital pregnancy, and that one was on purpose, because the girls' parents didn't want her dating the guy.  They're still married, decades down the road.

I'm not thinking sex ed in elementary school is a big deal.

I was raised Southern Baptist and went to a rural public school out in West Texas and never had any sex education at all, except for what I initially learned on the playground with more details later provided by late-night, soft-core porn on Showtime. Not even my dad taught me the birds and the bees though I vaguely recall him asking me once "Do you know how all that works with girls?"

In high school, our required "health class" in the 9th or 10th grade was taught by some idiot assistant football coach, so we just skipped that chapter altogether. In middle school before that, however, the girls did get to skip class one afternoon to watch a one-hour video in the cafeteria about their periods. Needless to say, A LOT of teenage girls at my high school didn't graduate on time (if at all) due to totally foreseeable consequences.

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Sawbonz

Sawbonz 27398

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13 minutes ago, bolverk said:

never had any sex education at all, except for what I initially learned on the playground with more details later provided by late-night, soft-core porn on Showtime.

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NameAlreadyInUse

NameAlreadyInUse 5106

Posted
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3 hours ago, bolverk said:

 

I was raised Southern Baptist and went to a rural public school out in West Texas and never had any sex education at all, except for what I initially learned on the playground with more details later provided by late-night, soft-core porn on Showtime. Not even my dad taught me the birds and the bees though I vaguely recall him asking me once "Do you know how all that works with girls?"

In high school, our required "health class" in the 9th or 10th grade was taught by some idiot assistant football coach, so we just skipped that chapter altogether. In middle school before that, however, the girls did get to skip class one afternoon to watch a one-hour video in the cafeteria about their periods. Needless to say, A LOT of teenage girls at my high school didn't graduate on time (if at all) due to totally foreseeable consequences.

I know you grew up an hour and a half south of me, but as I was reading this I first started thinking, did I black out and post this?  This exactly matches my sexual rearing in rural west Texas. Only thing I’d add was that we also skipped the chapter on evolution in Honors Biology in high school because the teacher was a Baptist and told us she didn’t believe in it. 

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bolverk

bolverk 29397

Posted
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12 minutes ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

I know you grew up an hour and a half south of me, but as I was reading this I first started thinking, did I black out and post this?  This exactly matches my sexual rearing in rural west Texas. Only thing I’d add was that we also skipped the chapter on evolution in Honors Biology in high school because the teacher was a Baptist and told us she didn’t believe in it. 

Sad to say our biology teacher skipped evolution too, saying the same thing, though she was a he named "Joe" with a great big black beard. Instead, we spent much of the spring semester going around trying to find native wildflowers and pressing and drying them in a book for the final project. That might sound easy, but it was a pain in the ass to find anything that was actually "native" to the county what with all the non-native shit along TxDOT highways.

ETA: I didn't do Honors Biology but opted for Chem 2 for that last science credit, because I thought Joe was an a-hole.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89409

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4 hours ago, bolverk said:

I was raised Southern Baptist and went to a rural public school out in West Texas and never had any sex education at all, except for what I initially learned on the playground with more details later provided by late-night, soft-core porn on Showtime. Not even my dad taught me the birds and the bees though I vaguely recall him asking me once "Do you know how all that works with girls?"

In high school, our required "health class" in the 9th or 10th grade was taught by some idiot assistant football coach, so we just skipped that chapter altogether. In middle school before that, however, the girls did get to skip class one afternoon to watch a one-hour video in the cafeteria about their periods. Needless to say, A LOT of teenage girls at my high school didn't graduate on time (if at all) due to totally foreseeable consequences.

1 hour ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

I know you grew up an hour and a half south of me, but as I was reading this I first started thinking, did I black out and post this?  This exactly matches my sexual rearing in rural west Texas. Only thing I’d add was that we also skipped the chapter on evolution in Honors Biology in high school because the teacher was a Baptist and told us she didn’t believe in it. 

Did you all not have porn fairies who left adult magazines in the woods, or behind gas stations, or stashed in the paper towel dispenser in book stores, or hidden in the dropped ceilings of your school's bathrooms?

 

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 53987

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4 hours ago, bolverk said:

 

I was raised Southern Baptist and went to a rural public school out in West Texas and never had any sex education at all, except for what I initially learned on the playground with more details later provided by late-night, soft-core porn on Showtime. Not even my dad taught me the birds and the bees though I vaguely recall him asking me once "Do you know how all that works with girls?"

In high school, our required "health class" in the 9th or 10th grade was taught by some idiot assistant football coach, so we just skipped that chapter altogether. In middle school before that, however, the girls did get to skip class one afternoon to watch a one-hour video in the cafeteria about their periods. Needless to say, A LOT of teenage girls at my high school didn't graduate on time (if at all) due to totally foreseeable consequences.

I literally could have written this except North Texas instead of West.

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bolverk

bolverk 29397

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8 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Did you all not have porn fairies who left adult magazines in the woods, or behind gas stations, or stashed in the paper towel dispenser in book stores, or hidden in the dropped ceilings of your school's bathrooms?

Actually, yes. Behind the across-the-street-neighbors' house, there was a canyon with a bunch of mesquite groves?/thickets?/spinneys? At any rate, someone had made some sort of "fort" in one of them and, behold, there were magical stuck=together stacks of magazines. Admittedly some of the pages were also windblown and stabbed by/stuck to mesquite brush thorns, but I didn't think that was worth mentioning.

It seems to have been a near universal experience by those of us of a certain age. 

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bolverk

bolverk 29397

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1 hour ago, NameAlreadyInUse said:

I know you grew up an hour and a half south of me, but as I was reading this I first started thinking, did I black out and post this?  This exactly matches my sexual rearing in rural west Texas. Only thing I’d add was that we also skipped the chapter on evolution in Honors Biology in high school because the teacher was a Baptist and told us she didn’t believe in it. 

 

21 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I literally could have written this except North Texas instead of West.

The real kicker is that there are many others like us who lived that experience and still actively choose that their own kids have the same rearing.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28705

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12 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Did you all not have porn fairies who left adult magazines in the woods, or behind gas stations, or stashed in the paper towel dispenser in book stores, or hidden in the dropped ceilings of your school's bathrooms?

My first was a copy of Oui (not one of the ones with Demi Moore in it) in a trash can at the city park. My brother was a beer can collector and I was searching for beer cans. I also found some Playboys in the nearby woods along with beer cans and bottles where apparently some older kids hung out to party.

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NameAlreadyInUse

NameAlreadyInUse 5106

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14 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Did you all not have porn fairies who left adult magazines in the woods, or behind gas stations, or stashed in the paper towel dispenser in book stores, or hidden in the dropped ceilings of your school's bathrooms?

 

We didn't have woods where I grew up, but we did periodically happen upon random stashes. Once we even accidentally discovered my dad's VHS stash.  He eventually figured out that we found them because they disappeared one day.  So yes, I guess I got my sex ed from the playground and Debbie Does Dallas instead of in school.

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Kyrie Eleison

Kyrie Eleison 9312

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On 4/13/2022 at 11:08 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Did you all not have porn fairies who left adult magazines in the woods, or behind gas stations, or stashed in the paper towel dispenser in book stores, or hidden in the dropped ceilings of your school's bathrooms?

 

oh god yes...our "fort" had innumerable issues of playboy, hustler, penthouse, oui, cheri, you name it...all kept in a garbage bag and stashed underneath a piece of plywood.

that's a right of passage for all boys just starting to sprout dick hairs... 

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45546

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"So many black celebrities who have nothing to do with country music."

You mean like all the white celebrities in attendance who have nothing to do with country music?  Plus, Ray Charles, Mavis Staples, Charley Pride and Dobie Gray would like a word with your cracker ass.

 

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Blotto

Blotto 23428

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1 hour ago, Kyrie Eleison said:

oh god yes...our "fort" had innumerable issues of playboy, hustler, penthouse, oui, cheri, you name it...all kept in a garbage bag and stashed underneath a piece of plywood.

that's a right of passage for all boys just starting to sprout dick hairs... 

I had some of those very same fine publications. Unfortunately I kept them in my closet stashed in some jigsaw puzzle boxes. I honestly forgot about them when i went off to college and one year I came back and a lot of the stuff that was in my closet had been cleaned out. My mom casually mentioned that she had given a lot of the toys in my closet to some local charity. She left it at that, so I decided I wasnt gonna ask if she actually purged the puzzles of the hardcore porn mags. I hope some little guy got more than was promised by the 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle his mom brought home for Xmas. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28705

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2 hours ago, Kyrie Eleison said:

oh god yes...our "fort" had innumerable issues of playboy, hustler, penthouse, oui, cheri, you name it...all kept in a garbage bag and stashed underneath a piece of plywood.

that's a right of passage for all boys just starting to sprout dick hairs... 

Jugs? Did you have Jugs?

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Post Oak

Post Oak 20184

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The brave patriots of the Peoples Convoy are too cowardly to tell some of their fellow patriots to stop letting their dogs pee on everyone's food.

These people have been eating up right wing shit for year's I don't know why eating dog pissed food would be any different.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-peoples-convoy-cant-stop-their-own-dogs-from-peeing-on-their-food

 

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Longhorn_Fan68

Longhorn_Fan68 33834

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19 minutes ago, Post Oak said:

The brave patriots of the Peoples Convoy are too cowardly to tell some of their fellow patriots to stop letting their dogs pee on everyone's food.

These people have been eating up right wing shit for year's I don't know why eating dog pissed food would be any different.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-peoples-convoy-cant-stop-their-own-dogs-from-peeing-on-their-food

 

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pyrohornIII

pyrohornIII 4809

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On 4/13/2022 at 11:08 PM, atomheartbevo said:

Did you all not have porn fairies who left adult magazines in the woods, or behind gas stations, or stashed in the paper towel dispenser in book stores, or hidden in the dropped ceilings of your school's bathrooms?

 

 

On 4/13/2022 at 6:33 PM, bolverk said:

 

I was raised Southern Baptist and went to a rural public school out in West Texas and never had any sex education at all, except for what I initially learned on the playground with more details later provided by late-night, soft-core porn on Showtime. Not even my dad taught me the birds and the bees though I vaguely recall him asking me once "Do you know how all that works with girls?"

In high school, our required "health class" in the 9th or 10th grade was taught by some idiot assistant football coach, so we just skipped that chapter altogether. In middle school before that, however, the girls did get to skip class one afternoon to watch a one-hour video in the cafeteria about their periods. Needless to say, A LOT of teenage girls at my high school didn't graduate on time (if at all) due to totally foreseeable consequences.

Same for South Texas.  But it was in the 5th grade the girls got cloistered in a room for an afternoon of period talk.  Boys never got anything.   I got a rudimentary idea of the inner female plumbing from the instruction sheet I pilfered from a box of Tampax.  Probably wanked over it too.  

About that time Susan S. and I were riding our bikes toward home and she asked me what "fucking" meant.  I told her in very elementary terms and she blushed hard and rode away crying.  That was sex education in our town.  

 

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Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 7913

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6 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

My oldest did this last week. 4th grade. 

Well, here’s what you could learn on the subject:

But it can be as early as age 8 or as late as 15. Talk to your doctor if your

period started before age 8 or you are 15 and haven't started your period.

 

Accordingly,, fourth grade might be too late, for some. Then again, why teach girls about that stuff at all, huh?

 

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fattyflattie

fattyflattie 4636

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4 minutes ago, Willfully Horn said:

Well, here’s what you could learn on the subject:

But it can be as early as age 8 or as late as 15. Talk to your doctor if your

period started before age 8 or you are 15 and haven't started your period.

 

Accordingly,, fourth grade might be too late. Then again/

 

image.jpeg

Yep. All fine by us. They sent home a letter saying it would be on the schedule, we signed it and sent it back. Not sure she learned anything more than what mommas already taught her.  I was only noting the education is happening before middle school these days. 

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Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 7913

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2 minutes ago, fattyflattie said:

Yep. All fine by us. They sent home a letter saying it would be on the schedule, we signed it and sent it back. Not sure she learned anything more than what mommas already taught her.  I was only noting the education is happening before middle school these days. 

One girl at home, one in college. We signed those papers, too. We believe teaching such age appropriate stuff in schools makes for healthier kids, and vote to support candidates that agree.

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