400 year old shark found in the Arctic

[Sbbruin 21910]

Oldest known vertebrate by a long shot.

 

 http://www.anonews.co/400-year-old-shark-found-in-the-arctic-is-the-oldest-living-vertebrate/?fbclid=IwAR1-g1t8T2qB_SAt3AXkkGaH3lQAbMCFe-cwn4J-YRkWuMF55ifTF45GzLM

[Telegraph_it 3368]

Shark has seen some shit. 

[smuggs 9354]

And done some things.

[High Plains Drifter 11054]

He looks it-- toothless, cataract over his eye, skin all spotted.

[South Austin 52676]

Hume Cronyn Shark.

[clapclapclap 9000]

Arctic Brat

Edited October 25, 2018 by clapclapclap

[UTexasFight 9579]

Looks shopped

[hookemATL 11962]

400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo

400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo

[Digdogger 1344]

Finally a shark I can’t be upset with for using the N word constantly

[YChang 3472]

400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo

Damn you.

[smuggs 9354]

6 minutes ago, UTexasFight said:

Looks shopped

 

[Lerka Lerka 1094]

Hey, I think these sharks are really, really old.  Let's kill some and take a look at their eyeballs to see if we are right....  YES!!! We were right!  

 

 

[Gene Parmesan 4016]

18 minutes ago, Lerka Lerka said:

Hey, I think these sharks are really, really old.  Let's kill some and take a look at their eyeballs to see if we are right....  YES!!! We were right!  

 

 

Y'know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes.

[housious 468]

How do we know he’s 400 years old? Did someone ask him?

[housious 468]

1 minute ago, housious said:

How do we know he’s 400 years old? Did someone ask him?

Next time I’ll read the article first. Maybe.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2741]

https://youtu.be/GCpKp73kJtI

Edited October 25, 2018 by T’Boo Ted Marshall
tech dummy

[Js1 85668]

19 minutes ago, housious said:

How do we know he’s 400 years old? Did someone ask him?

Brat flushed this thing down the shitter when he was a kid.

[ohchaucer 1443]

1 hour ago, hookemATL said:

400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo

400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo

Know how I know you're actually not gay and also have at least one kid under the age of 8?

[Sbbruin 21910]

2 minutes ago, ohchaucer said:

Know how I know you're actually not gay and also have at least one kid under the age of 8?

 

[KaiserSoze 998]

Christ- just think if that shark lived in Austin, we'd never hear the end of it- "Austin was so much better back before.... blah fucking blah". Fuck off, shark.

Edited October 25, 2018 by KaiserSoze

[Doc Reeves 6434]

Shark pissed off death

[Texas Jeff 1950]

2 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

Oldest known vertebrate by a long shot.

"Get off my reef!"

Edited October 25, 2018 by Texas Jeff
added punctuation

[High Plains Drifter 11054]

1 hour ago, Lerka Lerka said:

Hey, I think these sharks are really, really old.  Let's kill some and take a look at their eyeballs to see if we are right....  YES!!! We were right!  

 

 

Well, we killed the oldest living tree in the name of science. To be fair, they didn't know it was the oldest tree until they killed it.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-one-man-accidentally-killed-the-oldest-tree-ever-125764872/

 

 

[Wally Fairway 5600]

1 hour ago, housious said:

How do we know he’s 400 years old? Did someone ask him?

Yes, in the interview the shark said he went to school with Brat's kids.

[miguelito 11335]

every tree dies.  not every tree really lives.

[atomheartbevo 89972]

 

 

[Trey3216 15380]

28 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Well, we killed the oldest living tree in the name of science. To be fair, they didn't know it was the oldest tree until they killed it.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-one-man-accidentally-killed-the-oldest-tree-ever-125764872/

 

 

But did it ever get wrapped in toilet paper?? 

[UTEX_ME 4783]

26 minutes ago, tjhooker said:

it had to die sometime

imgur

[Bat Guano 359]

Still looks sharp in his sharkskin suit.

[formermav43 4606]

2 hours ago, ohchaucer said:

Know how I know you're actually not gay and also have at least one kid under the age of 8?

He could also be childless but married to a kindergarten teacher. Trust me.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8886]

400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo
400-year old shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo

Fuck off

[InkaUtexas 26282]

2 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Well, we killed the oldest living tree in the name of science. To be fair, they didn't know it was the oldest tree until they killed it.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-one-man-accidentally-killed-the-oldest-tree-ever-125764872/

 

 

Gave it some Austin water? 

[Huckleberry 33285]

Well, we killed the oldest living tree in the name of science. To be fair, they didn't know it was the oldest tree until they killed it.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-one-man-accidentally-killed-the-oldest-tree-ever-125764872/
 
 

This reminds me of something near the entrance to a Redwoods park in the Bay Area that I've forgotten the name of. There was a tree rings display that had years and major historical events listed going back in time toward the center of the piece. So if you started reading from the center you'd go forward in time until you got to basically the last ring. There was a note there that said "_____ Park Opens."

Made me chuckle. People are dicks.

[Deej 77017]

4 hours ago, housious said:

How do we know he’s 400 years old? Did someone ask him?

He ate dinner at Luby's every day at 4:30.

[Shaggy3.0 1695]

He ate dinner at Luby's every day at 4:30.

And was in bed by 7pm.

[Hugo Stiglitz 23367]

[RPM 26421]

[RollLeft 5045]

So he..

...

[SquishMitten 10453]

How do we know he’s 400 years old? Did someone ask him?

Gotta count the rings on its dong

[KaiserSoze 998]

1

[Superhero 8884]

13 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

Shark has seen some shit. 

That thousand yard stare. Signs of PTSD. 

[RPM 26421]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

That thousand yard stare. Signs of PTSD. 

Pacific Torpedoed Sailor Diet

[Cody2422 279]

I'm assuming they really killed this shark to measure the protein count in its eyes?  Where is the outrage?  Scientists did it so it's cool?  I bet von Miller would like the same leniency 

[DigglerontheHoof 21264]

Quote

The Greenland shark may hold the title in a certain way, but the official record for the world’s longest-lived animal is Ming, an Icelandic clam given the term “ocean quahog.” It managed to live for 507 years before scientists actually took its life.

Also from the article..."eh, 507 is old enough, kill it"

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

16 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

He looks it-- toothless, cataract over his eye, skin all spotted.

Don’t need no teeth fo’ Cream Of Wheat.

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

3 hours ago, Superhero said:

That thousand yard stare. Signs of PTSD. 

Or maybe just simple dementia. 

[Guest]

Why would a shark be in the attic?

 

[Trey3216 15380]

1 hour ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Also from the article..."eh, 507 is old enough, kill it"

“Poor bastard probably wanted dead a long time ago, amirite!?”

[Quagmire 2147]

Bet he’s nailed every shark bitch in the ocean by now

[crash_davis 23123]

only thing that's banged more females on this earth than that shark is wilt chamberlain.  mad respect.

on second thought, what if the shark is a female.  what a fucking whore!  i'm surprised her uterus hasn't fallen out.