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Posted

So we’ve had a lot of leadership turnover and earlier this year we were told that the entire sales team needed to put more deals into expect. The sales team said “ok, but what if we don’t really expect it and it slips?” We were told it’s ok, leadership will understand.

Anyone want to guess how understanding leadership is being with slipped deals?

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Posted
1 minute ago, Buzzrock said:

So we’ve had a lot of leadership turnover and earlier this year we were told that the entire sales team needed to put more deals into expect. The sales team said “ok, but what if we don’t really expect it and it slips?” We were told it’s ok, leadership will understand.

Anyone want to guess how understanding leadership is being with slipped deals?

thats when I purposely put in 20 deals that all show perfect confidence booking whenever their imaginary date is, and then  every day starting either tomorrow or monday, I start losing the deals going ... opps it slipped, oops customer didnt have authority, opps customers budget not available till April, etc.

 

and when I get called out on it, I basically say, yeah, ive only been doing this job for 15 years, and I guess in the last week I just completely and totally forgot how to do my job. Oh well. maybe next time.

 

and either they fire me (which would be awesome) or the just make up some bullshit to the higher ups, or they finally take sales' side and tell upper management that telling us to commit more isnt going to get me to close faster than the customer can (LOL at the 3rd, never happened in my 25 years)

 

The one advantage to be the old grumpy veteran sales curmudgeon, is they blow off your grumpiness as a quirk. 

Posted
thats when I purposely put in 20 deals that all show perfect confidence booking whenever their imaginary date is, and then  every day starting either tomorrow or monday, I start losing the deals going ... opps it slipped, oops customer didnt have authority, opps customers budget not available till April, etc.
 
and when I get called out on it, I basically say, yeah, ive only been doing this job for 15 years, and I guess in the last week I just completely and totally forgot how to do my job. Oh well. maybe next time.
 
and either they fire me (which would be awesome) or the just make up some bullshit to the higher ups, or they finally take sales' side and tell upper management that telling us to commit more isnt going to get me to close faster than the customer can (LOL at the 3rd, never happened in my 25 years)
 
The one advantage to be the old grumpy veteran sales curmudgeon, is they blow off your grumpiness as a quirk. 

That’s a tempting approach
Posted
2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

So we’ve had a lot of leadership turnover and earlier this year we were told that the entire sales team needed to put more deals into expect. The sales team said “ok, but what if we don’t really expect it and it slips?” We were told it’s ok, leadership will understand.

Anyone want to guess how understanding leadership is being with slipped deals?

About as understanding as they are when they get you to load up Q4 (via discounts) at the expense of the following Q1?

Q1 isn't going to count against you....until it does.

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Posted
21 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

So we’ve had a lot of leadership turnover and earlier this year we were told that the entire sales team needed to put more deals into expect. The sales team said “ok, but what if we don’t really expect it and it slips?” We were told it’s ok, leadership will understand.

Anyone want to guess how understanding leadership is being with slipped deals?

I went to work for a small software company that got acquired by a larger company about 6 months after I started. 6 months later, THAT company got acquired by a PE firm that owned some other software companies and planned to roll them up into one company. It was a shit show. Several of the companies competed in the same space, so there were all sorts of turf wars and pissing matches. Finally the PE board paid a bunch of people to go away and brought in their own management team, including VP of sales. We had a big QBR and he stands up and tells all of us we have a "Get out of jail free card" to clean up SFDC. Get all the trash out of there by next Friday so we can get a legit idea of pipeline. Two weeks later, we're on an all hands call where he tells us all pipeline is shit and every rep needs to add 5 deals to SFDC by the end of the week. Then he quit two weeks after that. 

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Posted

Those of y'all in sales (like me)... don't you sometimes wish you could stop chasing a number and just get rid of 3/4 of the crap that you own and go work a lift on a ski mountain?

Asking for a friend, of course.

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Posted
3 minutes ago, texasdago said:

Those of y'all in sales (like me)... don't you sometimes wish you could stop chasing a number and just get rid of 3/4 of the crap that you own and go work a lift on a ski mountain?

Asking for a friend, of course.

Every. Fucking. Day. 

Usually followed by "Why do I like nice things so much?!. Sigh..."

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Posted
On 5/20/2024 at 11:43 PM, Larry T. Spider said:

Been in a new role for 3.5 months with the first month being onboarding. I sell to school districts so it’s get something across the finish line this month or wait until next year. 

Have a proposal out that would get me to my fake onboarding quota. Totally fine if it doesn’t happen in terms of job security because nobody really expected me to get this far this quickly. I also have a good base so I will be fine financially. 

Usually takes 6-12 months to get a deal done. However it’s still nerve wracking to either hit a home run or strike out with no in between. I’ve teed this one up about as well as possible so now it’s just a waiting game.

Did you end up hitting your ramp and closing that deal!?!

Posted
1 hour ago, MinerProphet said:

Just got back from Dreamforce; definitely the best and most well attended and energetic since before covid. Am curious to see about Saphire and Reinvent and if anyone went to Rising had the same feedback.

Yeah but who were the bands?

 

Posted
54 minutes ago, texasdago said:

Yeah but who were the bands?

 

Pink and Imagine Dragons (Elton John backed out), and Flava Flav / Flo Rida and The Frays (sp?) and random EDM dj's you guys have probably heard of which I am igorant of for various SI parties.

Posted
15 minutes ago, MinerProphet said:

Pink and Imagine Dragons (Elton John backed out), and Flava Flav / Flo Rida and The Frays (sp?) and random EDM dj's you guys have probably heard of which I am igorant of for various SI parties.

That's cool... yeah I know Elton is a legend and all but I would rather see some kind of arena rock like Imagine Dragons.   My first DF was Stevie Wonder and, yes, legend but *yawn* 

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Posted
5 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Every. Fucking. Day. 

Usually followed by "Why do I like nice things so much?!. Sigh..."

If I could find someone to take my wife and two kids off my hands I could probably retire (but I’m keeping the dog dammit). 

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Posted
8 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I went to work for a small software company that got acquired by a larger company about 6 months after I started. 6 months later, THAT company got acquired by a PE firm that owned some other software companies and planned to roll them up into one company. It was a shit show. Several of the companies competed in the same space, so there were all sorts of turf wars and pissing matches. Finally the PE board paid a bunch of people to go away and brought in their own management team, including VP of sales. We had a big QBR and he stands up and tells all of us we have a "Get out of jail free card" to clean up SFDC. Get all the trash out of there by next Friday so we can get a legit idea of pipeline. Two weeks later, we're on an all hands call where he tells us all pipeline is shit and every rep needs to add 5 deals to SFDC by the end of the week. Then he quit two weeks after that. 

we had something very similar about 8 years ago.  new fiscal year, finished the prior fiscal year having dropped like 2 basis points (that's 0.02) to the rest of the world and they acted like the fucking world had just ended. 

said that we had billions and billions of deals in the pipeline and that either we hadnt tried hard enough or the deals werent real.   this was a Monday afternoon. 

we were told to kill all the placeholders, wish-deals, wood, everything that week. 

so yeah, all the bullshit started getting killed.  on wednesday morning at 8am we had an EMERGENCY all hands meeting. 

 

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE PIPELINE!!!!! we lost ... insert abnormally large percentage number here......  in ONE FUCKING DAY.

I CANT EXPLAIN THAT TO CEO!!!!!!

 

I NEED US TO HAVE A POWERWEEK GETTING NEW BUSINESS FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK>>>> THIS TAKES PRIORITY OVER EVERYTHING ELSE INCLUDING SALES.

 

me, 10 year vet with the company, having just gone on the Chairmans Club trip 2 years in a row and both not giving a fuck and feeling oddly safe and cocky, jumped on the 800 person sales call and asked....

just so we are clear... because we all followed your instructions to get rid of the fake deals.... you are now telling us to rebook fake deals so you dont have to explain to the ceo that a large portion of the pipeline is vaperware?

 

I DID NOT TELL YOU TO CREATE FAKE OPPS, I TOLD YOU TO GO OUT AND FIND NEW OPS THIS WEEK.

Gotcha... the famous million $$ blue bird sales ops that suddenly appear after a mandatory pipeline week are totally real and legit for sure..

 

i got a bit of a scolding for that one.    

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Posted
4 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

If I could find someone to take my wife and two kids off my hands without giving her half my shit I could probably retire (but I’m keeping the dog dammit). 

Fixed it for me

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Posted
On 9/20/2024 at 11:19 AM, MinerProphet said:

Did you end up hitting your ramp and closing that deal!?!

Nope. The district was not able to get their facility that will house the program ready by start of school this year. We are still on track to open in fall 2025. I have another program starting in the next couple of months that is smaller, but if they both happen, I’ll be over quota without any other deals.

Our fiscal year starts/ends September 1st so plenty of time to add some backup possibilities. My gut feeling is pretty good but it doesn’t take much for these deals to fall apart. So many moving pieces and usually a 6-18 month sales cycle.

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  • 3 months later...
Posted

Massive reorg and realignment in GTM, and I’m on the bench because I refuse to move to an RTO-friendly locale. As my boss said “we don't know what to do with you.”

I'm 15 minutes from my driveway to the TSA line and managers who never visit the office themselves wont hire me because they have been instructed to hire people who are near the office, despite not having enough office space should everyone show up on the same day. We all travel to customer sites, conferences, and restaurants anyway.

So I've been rage-applying to every single position in the company and judging by the phone calls my boss has been fielding, necessity is quickly overtaking policy. Interviewed yesterday to cover my dream account of a lifetime, the kind that you will tell stories about in 20 years. Should hear by next week.

Did 364% in ‘24, excellent performance reviews, which won't be fully baked into the system til Feb 20th. Its nice being PIP proof for a while, and commission multipliers are unreal.

The message last week was “we need to quickly find you a home soon” which changed to “which of these jobs sound most interesting to you?”

Tl;Dr - I continue to dodge raindrops and I am the luckiest guy on the planet.

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Posted
we had something very similar about 8 years ago.  new fiscal year, finished the prior fiscal year having dropped like 2 basis points (that's 0.02) to the rest of the world and they acted like the fucking world had just ended. 
said that we had billions and billions of deals in the pipeline and that either we hadnt tried hard enough or the deals werent real.   this was a Monday afternoon. 
we were told to kill all the placeholders, wish-deals, wood, everything that week. 
so yeah, all the bullshit started getting killed.  on wednesday morning at 8am we had an EMERGENCY all hands meeting. 
 
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE PIPELINE!!!!! we lost ... insert abnormally large percentage number here......  in ONE FUCKING DAY.
I CANT EXPLAIN THAT TO CEO!!!!!!
 
I NEED US TO HAVE A POWERWEEK GETTING NEW BUSINESS FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK>>>> THIS TAKES PRIORITY OVER EVERYTHING ELSE INCLUDING SALES.
 
me, 10 year vet with the company, having just gone on the Chairmans Club trip 2 years in a row and both not giving a fuck and feeling oddly safe and cocky, jumped on the 800 person sales call and asked....
just so we are clear... because we all followed your instructions to get rid of the fake deals.... you are now telling us to rebook fake deals so you dont have to explain to the ceo that a large portion of the pipeline is vaperware?
 
I DID NOT TELL YOU TO CREATE FAKE OPPS, I TOLD YOU TO GO OUT AND FIND NEW OPS THIS WEEK.
Gotcha... the famous million $$ blue bird sales ops that suddenly appear after a mandatory pipeline week are totally real and legit for sure..
 
i got a bit of a scolding for that one.    

Not enough rep for this.

As I have no accounts at the moment, I have achieved perfect salesforce hygiene for the first time in 25 years.

And I pray to God that changes next week.
Posted
50 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Massive reorg and realignment in GTM, and I’m on the bench because I refuse to move to an RTO-friendly locale. As my boss said “we don't know what to do with you.”

I'm 15 minutes from my driveway to the TSA line and managers who never visit the office themselves wont hire me because they have been instructed to hire people who are near the office, despite not having enough office space should everyone show up on the same day. We all travel to customer sites, conferences, and restaurants anyway.

So I've been rage-applying to every single position in the company and judging by the phone calls my boss has been fielding, necessity is quickly overtaking policy. Interviewed yesterday to cover my dream account of a lifetime, the kind that you will tell stories about in 20 years. Should hear by next week.

Did 364% in ‘24, excellent performance reviews, which won't be fully baked into the system til Feb 20th. Its nice being PIP proof for a while, and commission multipliers are unreal.

The message last week was “we need to quickly find you a home soon” which changed to “which of these jobs sound most interesting to you?”

Tl;Dr - I continue to dodge raindrops and I am the luckiest guy on the planet.

364% is unreal. Have fun in Hawaii or Paris or [Insert Club Trip Locale HERE].

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Well it's March 6th, and my company still can't decide what to do with me. But I'm still collecting a fat check, and barring a miracle, I'm fully expecting to be laid off in the next 30 days, hopefully with a package - all because I am resisting a move to Austin or Dallas, or another of the 8 cities my company has marked for consolidating operations.  I'm also senior and very expensive, and the company is decidedly moving towards hiring junior and cheap people.  I've been offered jobs in Seattle, San Francisco, Washington DC, Atlanta, Dallas, Austin, and Chicago.

Regarding Chicago, I was on the phone with my daughter today, who is interviewing with competing firms to drive up her market rate as her current company has been sandbagging her on promotion and trying to buy her off with platitudes. I pulled every job listing we have in that city, and the maximum starting salaries are insulting.  My fatherly advice is, "Promises don't pay the bills, get money whipped by a competitor, and boomerang back at a higher position if needed. That's corporate America 2025. Zero loyalty, fuck you pay me." The only downside is that she's gotta peddle Ozempic.

I'll be happy to fly out to any of those cities on Monday morning and stay for the week, but unless they offered me a 5-year guaranteed contract, there's no way that I'm leaving my current situation.  Fuck that nonsense. I have fantastic sunsets, peace and quiet, and I can be in the gulf on my boat in an hour.

Honestly, this is the destruction of affordable small and midsize cities, all because our CEO hired some consultants who said "build a new tower in the Domain and force everyone to the office."  Fuck that guy.

I'm not going quietly, however. I've applied for about 50 internal jobs, and I am slacking/emailing every leader I can identify, saying, "Put me in coach."

But if they resist, I will play golf for a month and then reassess.

I do have an interview with an internal recruiter to cover an account in Atlanta and I'm going to tell her if you want results, hire me now and turn me loose, but I'm not moving.

 

Edited by BearSchlong
Posted

Hope everyone is off to a good start to the year. My fiscal year goes 9/1 to 8/31 so I’m about half way through the year. Now is prime buying time because we are dealing with school districts setting things up for the fall.

New business quota is 4 million.

850k closed

deal for 1-2 million right at the finish line, just finalizing size.

deal for 3.8 million is also at the finish line but it’s split with another rep.

deal for 800k isn’t as close as the others but more likely than not. I would say 65%.

deal for 800k that I put at 30% chance.

Something new will jump in the pipeline before it’s all said and done. I met with 18 superintendents last week that aren’t included in the above. I’m calling 5 million but think there’s a decent chance it’s higher.

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