Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

[MrPhlegm 3413]

I always find it difficult to accept old people setting the heat to 79 degrees.   

Too cold for you?

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Just did this. Not hard.

Sorry to hear about your flacidity.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

On 12/23/2018 at 10:47 PM, NWBuck said:

Man... Washington and Oregon want in this discussion. 

Funny how the best pot is grown on the opposite side of those states from where the most is smoked.

[NWBuck 8587]

2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Funny how the best pot is grown on the opposite side of those states from where the most is smoked.

Obviously you've never met my neighbors and their grow light emporium.

[Guest]

First time on a family vacation with multiple families involved, staying at mega house in NM.  This vacation was planned half a year ago, and we followed through on it despite having my MIL's funeral this past Monday. It was supposed to have no children, with an emphasis on the girl cousins on my wife's side of family getting together. One of them started to bring one of their kids, but caught on that this was not what everyone else wanted for the vacation.  They actually did not come at all, which is fine.  We all get here on the following Tuesday.  Everything's cool, but they want to go to bed around 9:30 PM.  Hey, we just had a major emotional event with the funeral and it it has been particularly exhausting for my wife and SIL.  I get it.  We crash and start the real vacation on Wed AM.

I wake up at 6AM Texas time...because that's when I virtually always get up when I'm not working.  I piddle on the computer, sit outside on the deck and watch deer coming in the eat the corn from below the 2nd story deck.  We're in the mountains and it's about 58 degrees.  Perfect.  Absolutely refreshing on vacation. Everyone else starts getting up around 9, we visit, and then everyone gets showered and dressed to go into town at 11:00AM for lunch.  The town has a crapton of shops and places to look, with an emphasis on New Mexico/ SW culture and decor.  I hate shopping, but when I am here with the wife, enjoy meandering through the shops and looking at what they have,  Wife is completely looking forward to shopping all day, or at least from lunch till dinner.  This is her wheelhouse for vacation fun time.

We eat lunch and  go to one furniture store which has some really, really cool stuff that we like. we are there for 45 min or so.  BIL has to go back to house for some meds, which is about 10 miles away up the mountain.  OK, whatever.  I am the DD for the trip, so I take him.  When we get to the house, he says he's going to take a nap and he'll catch us at dinner.  No worries.  I go back down to catch up with the ladies. I get back and the other ladies are ready to go back to house... it is 2:30.  Really?  My wife is disappointed, but whatever.  maybe everyone is still tired from the funeral( and week preceding.)  We go back to house and within 15 min, everyone is asleep except wife and I.  WTF?  I am all about resting up and getting refreshed on vacation, but I didn't come all the way out here to fucking sleep all gotdam day. You motherfuckers didn't even get out of the rack until 9.  So...I start drinking.  LOlz.

It gets up to about 95 that day, which is very warm for the area.  AC is set on 78 and doors are wide open towards the back deck, which is usually awesome when the highs are in the 70's/80's. AC has no chance to keep up. I am sweating my ass off...on vacation.  Wife can see I am starting to get pissed/ increase pace on the beer.  We talk and I tell her I understand all of the tiredness of the others and what not, but I am not doing that all day for the rest of the week  We have 3 vehicles and we are not locked in to doing everything together, especially if that is limited to 3 hours of fun shit per day.  Nobody is more than 6 years older than I am.  I am 48.  This fucking place is starting to feel like an old folks home.

Thursday- cold front blows in and it is freaking awesome in the low 70's all day.  Doors are shut because it is too cold.  Are you fucking kidding me?  It is spectacular weather versus a Texas summer and NOW you want to close the doors out to the deck? I open every window in our bedroom and turn the fan on...LOlz  Same morning schedule and we drop the ladies off after lunch while my BIL and I go to GoCart/ arcade place.  I play pinball for about 3 games and offer to pay for his games, but he cannot see the game in what was admittedly terribad lighting.  We go ride the go-carts which is pretty fun.  We do 2 races.  "We better go check on the girls..."  Waaat?  It's been like an hour.  We show up and the ladies are in a small winery.  they had only gone to 2 shops.  "welp.  Let's go back up to the house..."

OMFG!!!  Even my wife is wondering WTF.   We get up to the house and I tell everyone I am leaving and going to casino.  i leave for about 3-4 hours, get back at 7 pm.  Dinner is half over and they are getting ready to call it a night. Unbelievable.

Yesterday...virtually the same routine, only when we get back to the house, BIL turns on Foxnews and insists that we should catch up on current events.  At this point, I feel like I am in a very, very bad movie spoofing how rotten vacations can be. I tell wife I 'm not sitting there watching the agitation channel all afternoon.  We (thankfully) decide to all go out to casino and try their very nice taproom and eat dinner.

Dinner was nice and the drinks were excellent.  When we got there though, we went in the casino and it was already, "Isn't it time to go eat?"  "There is nothing to do here."

I'm sorry we left your fucking nap mat at the house you motherfuckers.

We had debated going home today after lunch or tomorrow.  Yeah, we gone today.  I cannot handle this any more.  All that's missing is Nurse Ratchet.  I guess the scary part is wondering if I am that close to being "old."  I swear it was 3-4 hours of activity per day and then it was nap time.  Fuck that.  Never again. I hung out with my grandparents a lot of my life and they were way the fuck more active than that at a much older age.  We like doing shit on vacation... not sitting at the house all fucking day. WE COULD DO THAT AT FUCKING HOME!!!! We went on vacation to do things we don't get to see and do all of the time.

Any of you assholes go on vacation to sleep?  I mean 4-5 days in a row?  grown ass adults with no kids...

If you ARE limited in your desire for activities, DO NOT insist that we all do everything together.  This is what we're doing... you can come and go as you please.

It's a long ass rant, and I apologize; but Christ almighty, I do not understand people sometimes.

 

Edited July 13, 2019 by slorch

[NeverMarryAStripper 21935]

This is why I never go on vacation with anyone that I can't boss around.  You don't want to go see the awesome Mayan ruins? Tough shit.  You don't want to go to one of the finest art museums in the world?  Tough shit.  You don't want to sit on this white sand beach, look out over the blue water and drink Pina coladas all day.  Tough shit.  You get to do what you want to do when, and if, I ask you what you want to do, and then only if I decide I don't mind doing it.

[HornsOverIthaca 2335]

5 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

This is why I never go on vacation with anyone that I can't boss around.  You don't want to go see the awesome Mayan ruins? Tough shit.  You don't want to go to one of the finest art museums in the world?  Tough shit.  You don't want to sit on this white sand beach, look out over the blue water and drink Pina coladas all day.  Tough shit.  You get to do what you want to do when, and if, I ask you what you want to do, and then only if I decide I don't mind doing it.

That makes sense to me.  Reminds me of when the germans took a holiday in Poland back in 1939.  Except for the pina colada part.

[Player 4576]

Sounds like the rest of the group hit their recommended daily allowance of slorch, and hit the eject button. LOlz.

[After irth 1245]

16 minutes ago, Player said:

Sounds like the rest of the group hit their recommended daily allowance of slorch, and hit the eject button. LOlz.

No kidding. Why not just let sleeping little bitches lie and go do your own stuff?  It was so horrible that you willingly cut vacation short to go back home. Sounds like someone’s stress levels are out of whack. 

[Guest Lobo]

Gee, I can't believe 5 straight days with these people didn't turn out to be "The Hangover, Part IV"  

I would assume you knew these people were all lame for several years prior to this?  I mean, did the family vacations with them just a few years ago typically consist of paddle boarding, whiskey tastings, fishing expeditions, fine dining, and fireworks?  And then this year it turned to napping and antiquing?  Surely you had some idea what you were getting into?  I get it though, you're trying your best to make this into an enjoyable trip for your wife and you. 

One of my wife's sisters tried to rope us into a trip like that a few years ago to fucking Branson.  And it was "leave the littles ones at home" kinda trip according to her.  So it was have my cousin or my mom come over to watch our little girl while we go to Branson?  I'm gonna pay to fly my mom down from Chicago  or ask my cousin to take a few days off work so I could go to fucking Branson?  If people are just gonna be napping and watching TV, or hanging out in Branson where nothing has happened since 1997.....then fuck you---the kids can most certainly come.  At least the possibility exists with kids that something fun might happen outside.  So yeah, we didn't go to Branson and you shouldn't have gone to New Mexico.  Moral of the story is family for holidays, friends for weekends, vacations are for just me and the wife...and now maybe the girls.  

[After irth 1245]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

 So yeah, we didn't go to Branson 

A wise man right here...

[hundredTT 578]

My family is the flip side of that wanting to do touristsy shit every second, pre planning and spending every second together. Just now they took a vacation together, and I’m already annoyed just looking at their Facebook posts haha. 

[mulletpelini 5216]

Your in-laws sound fat.  Having spent last week with the in-laws on vacation in NM, I can feel your pain.  We had all the kids though, so no napping allowed.  Once you're up, you're up til bedtime.  Sleep in late on vacation, but no naps ya pussies.

[Armybrat 40919]

Nap time? Maybe they’re upstairs fucking.

When we go by ourselves to Las Vegas, we get up at Texas time (5am out there), go down for breakfast, then hit the casino until noon. Less crowded and little smoke. After lunch it is time for a trip out to a local attraction until 4pm or so, then back to the room for a couple of hours to post crap here, refresh & change clothes for the evening. Have dinner or just drinks & appetizers at some foo-foo restaurant before going to a show. After the show it is casino crawling until midnight (2am Texas time), then off to bed.

We don’t go there with family.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

Yeah that doing everything together doesn’t work.  Everyone should do their own thing and maybe get back together for a meal in the evening or something.  

[Guest Lobo]

I'll never understand some people's fascination with traveling with family.  What is the fucking point?  Unless you're not man enough to admit that you're only going with family so they'll foot the bill.

 

Also, let's just all stop and acknowledge that Armybrat's Las Vegas agenda is as fucking boss as anyone else I've known and I have seen some serious partying in that town. . 

[HOOKEM4 5044]

I always let my mom take us on vacation when offered. I am more than man enough to admit I dont have 25k to blow on a vacation for my wife and 2 kids. I will be dammed if I will turn it down though. Free shit is good.

[CoTex 1162]

9 minutes ago, HOOKEM4 said:

I always let my mom take us on vacation when offered. I am more than man enough to admit I dont have 25k to blow on a vacation for my wife and 2 kids. I will be dammed if I will turn it down though. Free shit is good.

I let your mom take me out for a seafood dinner.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21935]

The last family trip I took was for my mom’s 80th birthday. She rented this humongous beach house and ordered everyone to come for the week.  Her 4 kids and their spouses, her 12 grandkids and the spouses of the 4 that were married, and her 7 great grandkids.  We actually had a good time even though the trip included three trips to the emergency room.  Now she’s talking about doing it again next year for her 90th.  This time it would be 4 kids with 3 spouses, 12 grandkids with 6 spouses, and 9 great grandkids.  

Edited July 13, 2019 by NeverMarryAStripper

[Guest Lobo]

2 hours ago, HOOKEM4 said:

I always let my mom take us on vacation when offered. I am more than man enough to admit I dont have 25k to blow on a vacation for my wife and 2 kids. I will be dammed if I will turn it down though. Free shit is good.

What are you doing for vacation that it costs $25K for four people, and that your mom goes, "Oh yeah, that makes sense..here's my credit card?"  Not sarcastic, serious question.  The only trips I've had like that were to Las Vegas or Europe pre-kids.  And it sure as hell wasn't shit I wanted my mom knowing about, let alone paying for.  

[UpperWestside 6190]

On 12/27/2018 at 5:56 PM, Drew said:

Went to my brothers house.  Dog started barking at me, not mean or aggressive, just barking.

 

My brothers wife and one of his step kids say "That's weird, he normally only barks at black people".  I take a glance at my brother and he's doing the Picard meme, and just shaking his head pretty much telling me "don't say anything".  We were both raised the same, in south Dallas and on Military Bases, so it was weird to hear that from his family.  I made sure not to tell my wife about it since she's obviously not White.

When you say South Dallas what do you mean? 

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

Well I fucked up.  Sister-in-Law was over with family and friends last night and we were playing JackBox.  Fill in the blank:  (Sister-in_Law) cannot finish anything without ____.

I put, "bitching about it" and all hell broke loose.  Wife told me I had to apologize.

Let me put it this way.  Earlier today, she sent a text to my wife stating that she couldn't go out and get candy for my kids because it was raining.  It - quite literally - rained for 60 seconds.  She said that she'd do it tomorrow (Sunday) after her massage was over.  Beatch works out of home, doesn't work out, and hasn't picked up anything heavier than a Twinkie in 10 years.

[UpperWestside 6190]

4 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Nap time? Maybe they’re upstairs fucking.

When we go by ourselves to Las Vegas, we get up at Texas time (5am out there), go down for breakfast, then hit the casino until noon. Less crowded and little smoke. After lunch it is time for a trip out to a local attraction until 4pm or so, then back to the room for a couple of hours to post crap here, refresh & change clothes for the evening. Have dinner or just drinks & appetizers at some foo-foo restaurant before going to a show. After the show it is casino crawling until midnight (2am Texas time), then off to bed.

We don’t go there with family.

Amazing. I do not know how a former lieutenant of Baron Von Steuben has your energy, but hell if it is not impressive!

[EE2B 1565]

3 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Well I fucked up.  Sister-in-Law was over with family and friends last night and we were playing JackBox.  Fill in the blank:  (Sister-in_Law) cannot finish anything without ____.

I put, "bitching about it" and all hell broke loose.  Wife told me I had to apologize.

Let me put it this way.  Earlier today, she sent a text to my wife stating that she couldn't go out and get candy for my kids because it was raining.  It - quite literally - rained for 60 seconds.  She said that she'd do it tomorrow (Sunday) after her massage was over.  Beatch works out of home, doesn't work out, and hasn't picked up anything heavier than a Twinkie in 10 years.

[Vic]Pics?[/Vic]

[spystud13 2371]

2 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Earlier today, she sent a text to my wife stating that she couldn't go out and get candy for my kids because it was raining.

Um, what? Your SIL was supposed to go get candy for your kids? 

[After irth 1245]

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The last family trip I took was for my mom’s 80th birthday. She rented this humongous beach house and ordered everyone to come for the week.  Her 4 kids and their spouses, her 12 grandkids and the spouses of the 4 that were married, and her 7 great grandkids.  We actually had a good time even though the trip included three trips to the emergency room.  Now she’s talking about doing it again next year for her 90th.  This time it would be 4 kids with 3 spouses, 12 grandkids with 6 spouses, and 9 great grandkids.  

Shoot for 7 ER trips this time, just to keep things lively. 

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

59 minutes ago, spystud13 said:

Um, what? Your SIL was supposed to go get candy for your kids? 

F if I know.  It was just what I read in the text.

She's - quite literally - the most useless person I've ever met.  We've been out of town on vacation.  Just got back and went over to mow her lawn.  I guess, at some point, the grass got high, so she mowed a total of 2 rows of her back yard and gave up.  This, btw, comes from a 35 year-old pharamacist that works from home and has no children.

[tbone_ 14179]

The last family trip I took was for my mom’s 80th birthday. She rented this humongous beach house and ordered everyone to come for the week.  Her 4 kids and their spouses, her 12 grandkids and the spouses of the 4 that were married, and her 7 great grandkids.  We actually had a good time even though the trip included three trips to the emergency room.  Now she’s talking about doing it again next year for her 90th.  This time it would be 4 kids with 3 spouses, 12 grandkids with 6 spouses, and 9 great grandkids.  

How many strippers?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21935]

She got voted out of the house

[TrashMaster G 17620]

1 hour ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

F if I know.  It was just what I read in the text.

She's - quite literally - the most useless person I've ever met.  We've been out of town on vacation.  Just got back and went over to mow her lawn.  I guess, at some point, the grass got high, so she mowed a total of 2 rows of her back yard and gave up.  This, btw, comes from a 35 year-old pharamacist that works from home and has no children.

So, a meth dealer?

[Js1 85599]

12 hours ago, Player said:

Sounds like the rest of the group hit their recommended daily allowance of slorch, and hit the eject button. LOlz.

Most amazing part of that story is that slorch is only 48??!?!

[Guest Lobo]

2 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

F if I know.  It was just what I read in the text.

She's - quite literally - the most useless person I've ever met.  We've been out of town on vacation.  Just got back and went over to mow her lawn.  I guess, at some point, the grass got high, so she mowed a total of 2 rows of her back yard and gave up.  This, btw, comes from a 35 year-old pharamacist that works from home and has no children.

Yeah, like TrashMaster G pointed out.....I assume you meant pharma rep.  Like one of those 35 year olds who aged out of her Hooters uniform so she got some smart fitted polos, an expense account, and some free samples and works outta the house in that she sets up calls to myriad medical centers around her to bring Johnny Carinos and some free samples of Fukitol-tH?  

Or are you talking about a licensed, degree holding Pharmacist, who has the state board under the impression her business and dispensary is located in her home?  If so, there's a lot more going on here than her mowing habits.  She set up a compounding practice and she ain't selling antibiotics.  

[After irth 1245]

8 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

F if I know.  It was just what I read in the text.

She's - quite literally - the most useless person I've ever met.  We've been out of town on vacation.  Just got back and went over to mow her lawn.  I guess, at some point, the grass got high, so she mowed a total of 2 rows of her back yard and gave up.  This, btw, comes from a 35 year-old pharamacist that works from home and has no children.

Mowing her lawn, huh?

[Guest]

20 hours ago, Player said:

Sounds like the rest of the group hit their recommended daily allowance of slorch, and hit the eject button. LOlz.

LOlz.

 

people without political buthurtness dominating their lives actually enjoy my company.

Bitchass motherfuckers who get their feelings hurt because we might disagree tend to be pretty uncomfortable.

I don't bring the shit up, but i will respond if asked.  The FoxNews bullshit cited in the post, for example...  it should have never been turned on in the house.

Sorry for CR, but that is what your post is rooted in.

They knew 6 months ago i was going to be there.  They had plenty of time to bail.  Hell, the issue is that they insisted we all be together the whole time.

 

Edited July 14, 2019 by slorch

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

LOL.  That was a drunk post last night.  Way too much whiskey.  She is a pharmacist who works from home and... extremely useless.  I help my son mow her lawn as part of his summer job.  My wife handles teaching, kids, volunteering, etc... w/o ever complaining; her sister will get bitched at by one customer on the phone and immediately book a massage, manicure, and pedicure.  /explanation over

[Parliament 14333]

Rules

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

18 minutes ago, Parliament said:

Rules

Trust me.  You don't.

To add, everything is kind of magnified right now, which is why I get so pissed at my SIL for not even being able to handle her easy-ass job.  My wife is handling everything I typed (above) w/o a single complaint.  Even small things like when they both go to the grocery store - my wife drives EVERY time.  

Currently:

MIL is dying of cancer.  She's got 5 months.

FIL (they're divorced) is a complete piece of shit that is trying to manipulate the next bit of drama which is,

Her grandparents, who've been married for 50 years, are getting a divorce.  Seriously.  It's a long story and involves sisters, senility, and greed ... and cookies.

[luke duke 6414]

12 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Well I fucked up.  Sister-in-Law was over with family and friends last night and we were playing JackBox.  Fill in the blank:  (Sister-in_Law) cannot finish anything without ____.

I put, "bitching about it" and all hell broke loose.  Wife told me I had to apologize.

Let me put it this way.  Earlier today, she sent a text to my wife stating that she couldn't go out and get candy for my kids because it was raining.  It - quite literally - rained for 60 seconds.  She said that she'd do it tomorrow (Sunday) after her massage was over.  Beatch works out of home, doesn't work out, and hasn't picked up anything heavier than a Twinkie in 10 years.

@Jameslaw121 sorry your wife is such a bitch.

[Knoxtnhorn 6066]

Lol.  Not JamesLaw's wife.  She's sweet.  My wife's sister.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8822]

Doesnt she live with you and wears leggings so tight that it may as well be a second skin?

[Brew 3049]

I can’t remember the last time I went on an extended family vacation. It was probably 15-20 years ago. That sounds miserable.

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20502]

On 7/13/2019 at 11:43 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

This is why I never go on vacation with anyone that I can't boss around.  You don't want to go see the awesome Mayan ruins? Tough shit.  You don't want to go to one of the finest art museums in the world?  Tough shit.  You don't want to sit on this white sand beach, look out over the blue water and drink Pina coladas all day.  Tough shit.  You get to do what you want to do when, and if, I ask you what you want to do, and then only if I decide I don't mind doing it.

 

I never go on vacation with anybody at all. They never want to do the shit that I want to do. Besides, nobody wants to be around my dumb ass for days on end.

 I'm sure I'll die on the beach on the Dalmatian Coast, alone, and it will be 28 hours before somebody notices that my bloated, putrifying corpse hasn't moved in awhile. 

[Doze 1322]

5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Her grandparents, who've been married for 50 years, are getting a divorce.  Seriously.  It's a long story and involves sisters, senility, and greed ... and cookies.

A story about love, deception, greed, lust and…unbridled enthusiasm.....Bill Mumphry was a simple country boy. You might say a cockeyed optimist

[Guest Lobo]

So you think it was his ambition that was his eventual downfall?  

 

(and yeah, surlykarma coming back to bite me in the ass today after cracking up at this thread.   One of my SIL is wanting to do another "notice me, notice me...we need to have a family trip (they are 2 parents, 4 siblings, 2 husbands, and 2 live-in boyfriends---so they're a crew of 10.  My wife and I and the two munchkins are obviously 4).  She wants us to meet in either Colorado or Fort Worth.  14 of us, one of whom is my 3-month old who is just an absolute delight to travel with right now).  I haven't decided which avenue to take.  Do I demonstrate that 14 people in one dwelling is a fucking idiotic nightmare (these people don't believe in hotels).  Or do I simply point out that the logistics/travel/taking time off from work & school to appease her twisted idea of a vacation.  Right now, we're going with radio silence followed by me conveniently being in New York on business that week.  Who looks at the beauty and splendor of the Rocky Mountains and then thinks to themselves, "You know what would make this masterpiece of God himself even more perfect?  A line 9-deep for the fucking shower."  

Edited July 14, 2019 by Lobo

[KaiserSoze 998]

You have a 3-month old, that's more than a reasonable out. Tell them you'll catch them next time and don't spend a second giving a shit about their feelings on the matter.

[Js1 85599]

5 hours ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

 

I never go on vacation with anybody at all. They never want to do the shit that I want to do. Besides, nobody wants to be around my dumb ass for days on end

 I'm sure I'll die on the beach on the Dalmatian Coast, alone, and it will be 28 hours before somebody notices that my bloated, putrifying corpse hasn't moved in awhile. 

Sounds like paradise 

[GhostOfTomJoad 9357]

I was surprised to see this thread resurrected in mid-summer, but as a non-breeder I didn't consider family summer vacations as part of the general holiday circuit. Bless y'all. Sounds like a total fucking beating.

"Hey, it's the middle of summer. Let's escape the heat & go to a comfortable, scenic place, rent a house & then cram it with a dozen or two family members spanning 3 or more generations. Won't that be a great way to spend your precious time off?"

[tbone_ 14179]

I have 3 step siblings all with kids in Houston. Every year we do a group spring break ski trip to Colorado. 15 in the whole crew. 7 kids from 4-14. Not a dud in the bunch. It’s a blast.

 

Y’all need better families.

 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I have 3 step siblings all with kids in Houston. Every year we do a group spring break ski trip to Colorado. 15 in the whole crew. 7 kids from 4-14. Not a dud in the bunch. It’s a blast.

 

Y’all need better families.

 

Agree, other than the bitch of a step mother, and a sister in law who's like a dog on your leg I like my family on both sides, and the wifes.

[DigglerontheHoof 21254]

On 7/13/2019 at 9:09 AM, slorch said:

First time on a family vacation with multiple families involved, staying at mega house in NM.  This vacation was planned half a year ago, and we followed through on it despite having my MIL's funeral this past Monday. It was supposed to have no children, with an emphasis on the girl cousins on my wife's side of family getting together. One of them started to bring one of their kids, but caught on that this was not what everyone else wanted for the vacation.  They actually did not come at all, which is fine.  We all get here on the following Tuesday.  Everything's cool, but they want to go to bed around 9:30 PM.  Hey, we just had a major emotional event with the funeral and it it has been particularly exhausting for my wife and SIL.  I get it.  We crash and start the real vacation on Wed AM.

I wake up at 6AM Texas time...because that's when I virtually always get up when I'm not working.  I piddle on the computer, sit outside on the deck and watch deer coming in the eat the corn from below the 2nd story deck.  We're in the mountains and it's about 58 degrees.  Perfect.  Absolutely refreshing on vacation. Everyone else starts getting up around 9, we visit, and then everyone gets showered and dressed to go into town at 11:00AM for lunch.  The town has a crapton of shops and places to look, with an emphasis on New Mexico/ SW culture and decor.  I hate shopping, but when I am here with the wife, enjoy meandering through the shops and looking at what they have,  Wife is completely looking forward to shopping all day, or at least from lunch till dinner.  This is her wheelhouse for vacation fun time.

We eat lunch and  go to one furniture store which has some really, really cool stuff that we like. we are there for 45 min or so.  BIL has to go back to house for some meds, which is about 10 miles away up the mountain.  OK, whatever.  I am the DD for the trip, so I take him.  When we get to the house, he says he's going to take a nap and he'll catch us at dinner.  No worries.  I go back down to catch up with the ladies. I get back and the other ladies are ready to go back to house... it is 2:30.  Really?  My wife is disappointed, but whatever.  maybe everyone is still tired from the funeral( and week preceding.)  We go back to house and within 15 min, everyone is asleep except wife and I.  WTF?  I am all about resting up and getting refreshed on vacation, but I didn't come all the way out here to fucking sleep all gotdam day. You motherfuckers didn't even get out of the rack until 9.  So...I start drinking.  LOlz.

It gets up to about 95 that day, which is very warm for the area.  AC is set on 78 and doors are wide open towards the back deck, which is usually awesome when the highs are in the 70's/80's. AC has no chance to keep up. I am sweating my ass off...on vacation.  Wife can see I am starting to get pissed/ increase pace on the beer.  We talk and I tell her I understand all of the tiredness of the others and what not, but I am not doing that all day for the rest of the week  We have 3 vehicles and we are not locked in to doing everything together, especially if that is limited to 3 hours of fun shit per day.  Nobody is more than 6 years older than I am.  I am 48.  This fucking place is starting to feel like an old folks home.

Thursday- cold front blows in and it is freaking awesome in the low 70's all day.  Doors are shut because it is too cold.  Are you fucking kidding me?  It is spectacular weather versus a Texas summer and NOW you want to close the doors out to the deck? I open every window in our bedroom and turn the fan on...LOlz  Same morning schedule and we drop the ladies off after lunch while my BIL and I go to GoCart/ arcade place.  I play pinball for about 3 games and offer to pay for his games, but he cannot see the game in what was admittedly terribad lighting.  We go ride the go-carts which is pretty fun.  We do 2 races.  "We better go check on the girls..."  Waaat?  It's been like an hour.  We show up and the ladies are in a small winery.  they had only gone to 2 shops.  "welp.  Let's go back up to the house..."

OMFG!!!  Even my wife is wondering WTF.   We get up to the house and I tell everyone I am leaving and going to casino.  i leave for about 3-4 hours, get back at 7 pm.  Dinner is half over and they are getting ready to call it a night. Unbelievable.

Yesterday...virtually the same routine, only when we get back to the house, BIL turns on Foxnews and insists that we should catch up on current events.  At this point, I feel like I am in a very, very bad movie spoofing how rotten vacations can be. I tell wife I 'm not sitting there watching the agitation channel all afternoon.  We (thankfully) decide to all go out to casino and try their very nice taproom and eat dinner.

Dinner was nice and the drinks were excellent.  When we got there though, we went in the casino and it was already, "Isn't it time to go eat?"  "There is nothing to do here."

I'm sorry we left your fucking nap mat at the house you motherfuckers.

We had debated going home today after lunch or tomorrow.  Yeah, we gone today.  I cannot handle this any more.  All that's missing is Nurse Ratchet.  I guess the scary part is wondering if I am that close to being "old."  I swear it was 3-4 hours of activity per day and then it was nap time.  Fuck that.  Never again. I hung out with my grandparents a lot of my life and they were way the fuck more active than that at a much older age.  We like doing shit on vacation... not sitting at the house all fucking day. WE COULD DO THAT AT FUCKING HOME!!!! We went on vacation to do things we don't get to see and do all of the time.

Any of you assholes go on vacation to sleep?  I mean 4-5 days in a row?  grown ass adults with no kids...

If you ARE limited in your desire for activities, DO NOT insist that we all do everything together.  This is what we're doing... you can come and go as you please.

It's a long ass rant, and I apologize; but Christ almighty, I do not understand people sometimes.

 

So, go to the mountains and spend all your time shopping, gambling and playing video game.  Seems like a waste of the great outdoors.  Why not go to Durant or Shreveport?