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Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

GhostOfTomJoad

By GhostOfTomJoad
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Guadaloopy
Guadaloopy

This is always one of my favorite threads.  Usually, I just kick back and enjoy some schadenfreude while reading other people's stories.  But this year is different.  My wife and I have been on the ou

blacklab
blacklab

took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker. Best thanksgiving ever.    

luke duke
luke duke

My FIL asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee when I got up this morning. I said yes and he proceeded to pour a cup and put it in the microwave. As he hands it to me he tells me that it was from yesterd

blacklab

blacklab 11941

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

That's cold, dude. You said your kids always knew the stepmom as grandma and that your mother died earlier. Did they ever know your mother? Are they old enough to comprehend what's going on?

My real mom died years before they were born. My dad was married to her before they were born so they always thought of her as grandma

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19206

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

I had to get married the same weekend that Aggie and Mizzou both had road games so that my kids could attend.

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
 

There's another ~8 months in the year besides football season.  Unless she's knocked up and you kind of "had to get married" pretty quick for "reasons".

Edited by Fudge Nuggets
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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

Posted
Posted

Not much dysfunction here to add to the thread, but this year we're doing different.  Past has been alternating Thanksgiving between my BIL (San Marcos) and our place.  It was okay but nothing superb.  Mostly I'd eat then go out and and channel surf between football games and movies.  Most of the rest would play board games or something, meh.

The slight dysfunction this year is that for reasons too long/relatively uninteresting here, we didn't feel like putting up with the status quo this year (all 4 of our kids are now grown, at least college age) and it's not worth it.   Daughter is living in Texas City until March, so the boy is coming home from UT and driving with us Wednesday to Galveston, where we've rented a little beachy thing down on West Beach.  Daughter + boyfriend (nice kid, quiet, makes Penn of Penn & Teller verbose by comparison) will join us.  Dinner is a buffet out at a restaurant about 11:30 a.m.  then back to the beach house.  Weather is looking mild for that week so I'm kind of stoked.  Then I got to get the boy up to SW Houston to get his ride - he's going to Big Bend to raft for 3 days.  Then I get back and daughter + quiet boyfriend leave Friday morning, she has to work.  Hopefully I can put one in the wife's turkey hole before we leave back for Austin, but that's never a given of course.  So relative-free, should be great.

BIL/SIL are going to Oregon for Christmas (yay!) so I don't really know what we're going to do for that.  But we'll see.  Both my parents are dead, so it wouldn't make much sense to go to Maryland to see them.  I think.

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chesthair

chesthair 231

Posted
Posted

Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...

 

"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."

 

what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  

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Player

Player 4575

Posted
Posted
52 minutes ago, chesthair said:

Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...

 

"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."

 

what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  

 

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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

Posted
Posted
56 minutes ago, chesthair said:

Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...

 

"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."

 

what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  

20120805-184951.jpg

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4th&Five

4th&Five 41558

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, chesthair said:

Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...

 

"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."

 

what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  

I hate my in-laws other than one sil so if my wife pulled that on me i'd be checking hotels.  luckily she hates them too.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...
 
"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."
 
what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  
we are here for you bro...ever step of the way
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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9331

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Posted

Who was the poster on the old site who recounted the story of his good for nothing relative (BIL?) that forced the entire family to wait 4 hours for Thanksgiving dinner because the matriarch of the family refused to eat until he was there? And the guy lived like 20 minutes from the house? No calls/texts or explanation for being late, just "I'll be there in a bit" and left everyone sitting around while the meal went to shit?

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25106

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, chesthair said:

Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...

 

"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."

 

what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  

Get them all into one vehicle and blow it the fuck up 

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After irth

After irth 1243

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, phdhorn said:

Not much dysfunction here to add to the thread, but this year we're doing different.  Past has been alternating Thanksgiving between my BIL (San Marcos) and our place.  It was okay but nothing superb.  Mostly I'd eat then go out and and channel surf between football games and movies.  Most of the rest would play board games or something, meh.

The slight dysfunction this year is that for reasons too long/relatively uninteresting here, we didn't feel like putting up with the status quo this year (all 4 of our kids are now grown, at least college age) and it's not worth it.   Daughter is living in Texas City until March, so the boy is coming home from UT and driving with us Wednesday to Galveston, where we've rented a little beachy thing down on West Beach.  Daughter + boyfriend (nice kid, quiet, makes Penn of Penn & Teller verbose by comparison) will join us.  Dinner is a buffet out at a restaurant about 11:30 a.m.  then back to the beach house.  Weather is looking mild for that week so I'm kind of stoked.  Then I got to get the boy up to SW Houston to get his ride - he's going to Big Bend to raft for 3 days.  Then I get back and daughter + quiet boyfriend leave Friday morning, she has to work.  Hopefully I can put one in the wife's turkey hole before we leave back for Austin, but that's never a given of course.  So relative-free, should be great.

BIL/SIL are going to Oregon for Christmas (yay!) so I don't really know what we're going to do for that.  But we'll see.  Both my parents are dead, so it wouldn't make much sense to go to Maryland to see them.  I think.

A man with a plan.  Respect.

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BearSchlong

BearSchlong 8098

Posted
Posted
Who was the poster on the old site who recounted the story of his good for nothing relative (BIL?) that forced the entire family to wait 4 hours for Thanksgiving dinner because the matriarch of the family refused to eat until he was there? And the guy lived like 20 minutes from the house? No calls/texts or explanation for being late, just "I'll be there in a bit" and left everyone sitting around while the meal went to shit?

Yeah, I remember that. And whatever happened to the poster whose sister lived in an SUV in the walmart parking lot?

 

Also someone must have been running late for my wedding because in addition to crystal and whatnot we got a Red Lobster gift card. I don't think I've set foot in a Red Lobster for 20+ years but I'm gonna burn through that bad boy tonight.

 

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

 

 

 

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chesthair

chesthair 231

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
4 hours ago, chesthair said:
Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...
 
"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."
 
what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  

we are here for you bro...ever step of the way

aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"

 

responses typed, but not sent:

"up your ass"

"up your bitch mom's ass"

"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11675

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, chesthair said:

aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"

 

responses typed, but not sent:

"up your ass"

"up your bitch mom's ass"

"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"

"fuck you, I will be in Vegas"

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deter

deter 314

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Who was the poster on the old site who recounted the story of his good for nothing relative (BIL?) that forced the entire family to wait 4 hours for Thanksgiving dinner because the matriarch of the family refused to eat until he was there? And the guy lived like 20 minutes from the house? No calls/texts or explanation for being late, just "I'll be there in a bit" and left everyone sitting around while the meal went to shit?

I can top that.  Having Christmas lunch at in-laws.  BIL and family show up close to five (everything ready and we have been waiting on him since 12-1) and then the asshole tells us he ate lunch with the Russian Orthodox priest and wasn't hungry...………………...

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Who was the poster on the old site who recounted the story of his good for nothing relative (BIL?) that forced the entire family to wait 4 hours for Thanksgiving dinner because the matriarch of the family refused to eat until he was there? And the guy lived like 20 minutes from the house? No calls/texts or explanation for being late, just "I'll be there in a bit" and left everyone sitting around while the meal went to shit?

That family member would have been eating at the second seating later in day.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8810

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, deter said:

I can top that.  Having Christmas lunch at in-laws.  BIL and family show up close to five (everything ready and we have been waiting on him since 12-1) and then the asshole tells us he ate lunch with the Russian Orthodox priest and wasn't hungry...………………...

I hope to God you cut a mother f*****

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"
 
responses typed, but not sent:
"up your ass"
"up your bitch mom's ass"
"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"
What'd you say back.. did you put it on a pedestal
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chesthair

chesthair 231

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
48 minutes ago, chesthair said:
aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"
 
responses typed, but not sent:
"up your ass"
"up your bitch mom's ass"
"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"

What'd you say back.. did you put it on a pedestal

K.I.S.S. = "Fuck that noise, your parents can sit there and frown all they fucking want.  They know the way back to Arkansas.  I love you."

 

got a heart emoji back...my wife is pretty damn cool.  i think she was trolling me earlier. 

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luke duke

luke duke 6413

Posted
Posted
Bombshell dropped.  My wife told me today...
 
"Oh, i forgot to tell you my mom, dad, sister, brother in law and their 2 kids are coming in Saturday.  They are staying till Tuesday and we are having Thanksgiving with them Monday.  You need to take off work Monday.  I bought the ham and turkey already so you can get those done.  Thanks."
 
what in the actual FUCK?????  She knows i hate all of them. She knows the boys have 2 wrestling tournaments this weekend, out of town.  She knows i am already doing T'giving for us on Thursday.  She knows i hate surprises.  


Don’t forget about that extremely important meeting that you can’t miss.
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OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, chesthair said:

aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"

 

responses typed, but not sent:

"up your ass"

"up your bitch mom's ass"

"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure it disappears right before their show up"

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, chesthair said:

aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"

 

responses typed, but not sent:

"up your ass"

"up your bitch mom's ass"

"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"

"Sounds like a challenge to drink them before your folks show up..."

At a certain point, a man's house is HIS fucking house.  I have relatives who do not partake, including my own freaking mom; but they have no vote on whether I have booze in my own damned house.

"Tell your folks to stay out of the fucking garage."  yes, of course tone, but her text demanded it.

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9331

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Posted (edited)

chesthair should be live streaming his Thanksgiving. For our amusement I mean science.

Anyone coming to our house on Thanksgiving will need to accept the following:

  • apple brined, hickory smoked turkey (go someplace else if you want it deep fried)
  • a cornucopia of craft beers, wine, bourbon & whiskey
  • football on the TVs. All day
  • when the sun sets, the outdoor xmas lights are turned on & the vinyl classic holiday LPs go on the turntable
  • drinks around the fire pit while we stare at the stars

 

Edited by GhostOfTomJoad
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Trey3216

Trey3216 15347

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

chesthair should be live streaming his Thanksgiving. For our amusement I mean science.

Anyone coming to our house on Thanksgiving will need to accept the following:

  • apple brined, hickory smoked turkey (go someplace else if you want it deep fried)
  • a cornucopia of craft beers, wine, bourbon & whiskey
  • football on the TVs. All day
  • when the sun sets, the outdoor xmas lights are turned on & the vinyl classic holiday LPs go on the turntable
  • drinks around the fire pit while we stare at the stars

 

Well done 

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21907

Posted
Posted
aaaaannnnndddddd, i just get a text "Hey, where can i put your 87 bottles of bourbon and 2 refrigerators of craft beer while they are here?  You know my parents frown on your drinking"
 
responses typed, but not sent:
"up your ass"
"up your bitch mom's ass"
"at the apartment your ass is renting after i serve you with papers today"

So your third thought was to divorce her and give her the bourbon and beer?
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Hate

Hate 20113

Posted
Posted

My Grandparents didn’t allow alcohol for a long time at Thanksgiving. I don’t remember when that ended but our days are like this:

Wednesday night is taco and margarita night.

Thursday morning wake up and have a mimosa bar. Football is on all day long and there is never a complaint. We eat all day and sometime in the afternoon I start drinking whiskey. This will be my view Thursday night as we get a fire started on the beach.

ad08d7e39244c67fd8e0dc3bd587a622.jpg

da862d3f8cf85059e5527de1b8c68300.jpg

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