Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

[DejaVu 39]

6 minutes ago, Parliament said:

But do you think they'll help me?

Help you do what? 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

The wine (check), the bourbons (check), fried chicken rub for the fried turkey (check), chord of split firewood (check), cigars (check). Weed  strategically located for quick trips to the wood shed (check).        My essentials are covered.

I'm done till its time to fry the small turkey, (the big ones in the oven), and then carve both turkeys and the Boston butt.

35 in the house, and it'll be a good day, no family issues, no Redskins fans (obnoxious ones at least).

Not a lot of drinkers (so no worries about anyone making a Blantons and diet coke)

No dipshits who cause drama other than fighting over who gets a drumstick.  My favorite, stress free family holiday.

[BearSchlong 8109]

My sister is a CPA, married to a veterinarian. Brother is a Colonel in the US Army. He commands tanks or some goddamn thing. He goes through girlfriends like they're candy. Current gf is a gymnastics coach. Whatever. She annoys me. Dad is OCD about cooking. He frets for MONTHS ahead of the holiday about the right seasoning, rub, etc.

Anyway, with the bad economy I haven't been getting much work. But do you think they'll help me? Lol no. Even with my chronic back problems (old football injury) they don't give me shit. Screw 'em.

I give up. What movie?

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[Al_4_ISU 12477]

Wife and I went to the bar with friends last night.  I drank more, but she's the hungover one.

Chalking that up in the win column.

[Post Oak 20256]

25 minutes ago, Parliament said:

My sister is a CPA, married to a veterinarian. Brother is a Colonel in the US Army. He commands tanks or some goddamn thing. He goes through girlfriends like they're candy. Current gf is a gymnastics coach. Whatever. She annoys me. Dad is OCD about cooking. He frets for MONTHS ahead of the holiday about the right seasoning, rub, etc.

Anyway, with the bad economy I haven't been getting much work. But do you think they'll help me? Lol no. Even with my chronic back problems (old football injury) they don't give me shit. Screw 'em.

Do you have bootstraps?

[Anastasis 23481]

4 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Wife and I went to the bar with friends last night.  I drank more, but she's the hungover one.

Chalking that up in the win column.

Drank my dads bar last night but had the same result. May or may not be vodka in my oj though. 

Edited November 22, 2018 by Anastasis

[G650 14273]

Peace and quiet on the Rivah this morning. Trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

 

[Okie State 3842]

Holy shit. Just took my dog for a walk around 5:45AM. Pitch dark out, & I only turn on my headlamp flashlight when I need to pick up her poop so we were pretty stealthy. Come around a dark corner a couple streets from my house to hear a front door slam loudly followed by a man's voice saying "I fucking KNEW she was going to pull this bullshit today" before he climbed into his truck to speed off somewhere. He never saw me or didn't care I was there to witness his outburst (I'm just thankful my dog didn't compound things by taking a growler in his front yard). I was laughing like a fool for the rest of the walk. 
I sincerely hope it was a poster from here & we're gonna get the rest of the story.

Neighbor?

[Anastasis 23481]

4 minutes ago, G650 said:

Peace and quiet on the Rivah this morning. Trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

 

Nice. View out the window this morning. 

 

 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Neighbor?

So what kind of bullshit did she pull??

[GhostOfTomJoad 9349]

9 minutes ago, Okie State said:

1 hour ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Holy shit. Just took my dog for a walk around 5:45AM. Pitch dark out, & I only turn on my headlamp flashlight when I need to pick up her poop so we were pretty stealthy. Come around a dark corner a couple streets from my house to hear a front door slam loudly followed by a man's voice saying "I fucking KNEW she was going to pull this bullshit today" before he climbed into his truck to speed off somewhere. He never saw me or didn't care I was there to witness his outburst (I'm just thankful my dog didn't compound things by taking a growler in his front yard). I was laughing like a fool for the rest of the walk. 
I sincerely hope it was a poster from here & we're gonna get the rest of the story.

Neighbor?

If that was you tell the story. And I've got some beer in my fridge for your troubles.

[Okie State 3842]

Haha, it wasn't. The outburst with no regard to neighbors reminded me of me though. My wife gets embarrassed when I do it.

My morning is actually off to a good, drama free start. About to head over to the in-laws to fry some turkeys.

[GhostOfTomJoad 9349]

PSA: the Hallmark MOVIES channel is gold today (and on Xmas day). All day long video of kittens, puppies, ducks & bunnies playing in a lavishly decorated room with a roaring fire in the background while classic holiday music plays. Perfect time killer before football. And no BS news channel (no CR).

[BradInATX 9208]

Drank my dads bar last night but had the same result. May or may not be vodka in my oj though. 

I'm surprised you're up and at em already. Killed about 1/3 of the 1910. Good stuff. Wife wants to start the mimosas after breakfast. Twist my arm..

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[Trey3216 15352]

2 hours ago, DejaVu said:

Everyone brought their pets to my sister’s house this year. I’m sitting on the couch with three dogs snoring away on it. Everyone else in the house is still asleep. I walked all the dogs and fed them this morning. I’m the only one feeding them or walking them. Apparently, this is a service that I provide for free and spares everyone the expensiveness of kenneling, which is what I did with my own dog in order to travel here. 

My niece has asked me to lend her cash three times since I’ve arrived. She asked for $400. She’s 12. I mentioned this to my sister, who just shrugged. 

Meth is a helluva habit

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Parliament said:

My sister is a CPA, married to a veterinarian. Brother is a Colonel in the US Army. He commands tanks or some goddamn thing. He goes through girlfriends like they're candy. Current gf is a gymnastics coach. Whatever. She annoys me. Dad is OCD about cooking. He frets for MONTHS ahead of the holiday about the right seasoning, rub, etc.

Anyway, with the bad economy I haven't been getting much work. But do you think they'll help me? Lol no. Even with my chronic back problems (old football injury) they don't give me shit. Screw 'em.

Don't live in Ohio.

Economy's pretty decent(*understatement) elsewhere.

Your bro is living the good life.  former gymnasts and all, then go blow up shit.

[Underdog 28767]

2 hours ago, DejaVu said:

My niece has asked me to lend her cash three times since I’ve arrived. She asked for $400. She’s 12. I mentioned this to my sister, who just shrugged. 

Buy her a pole for Xmas, tell her to start practicing. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

5 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Buy her a pole for Xmas, tell her to start practicing. 

Like, how has this sage advice not already been offered ?

[GhostOfTomJoad 9349]

Yeah, I was gonna say if a 12 yo girl can't make a quick $400 in today's economy she's not trying very hard, is she?

[ztejas 43528]

14 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

slightly off-topic, but bitching about Tday related:

I''ve received "Happy Thanksgiving" emails today from every motherfucker that I've ever done business  with, and also from every motherfucker that would like to do business with me.

Sorry to break it to you, Mr. Title rep, but my Tday won't be better because you clogged up my email inbox.

I do marketing for small business and I sent ours yesterday. It was tasteful and well received.

Most of them... aren't. I feel your inbox pain.

[Incredulity 11682]

Bad Economy?? NoCR.

[G650 14273]

Somehow I got persuaded to make an extra batch of potatoes this year, so I've been on KP basically all morning. 

[ztejas 43528]

2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Wife and I went to the bar with friends last night.  I drank more, but she's the hungover one.

Chalking that up in the win column.

I would chalk that up to "not being a pussy"

[ztejas 43528]

1 hour ago, BradInATX said:

I'm surprised you're up and at em already. Killed about 1/3 of the 1910. Good stuff. Wife wants to start the mimosas after breakfast. Twist my arm..

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 

You're a third of a fifth deep at 10 am? This guy fucks.

[phdhorn 6224]

Late November (Thanksgiving) morning in Galveston, heading out to restaurant lunch in 30 mins. Shoulda done this ages ago.

[ztejas 43528]

On the bus to Austin for round 2 with my mom's neighbors. 

Last year it peaked after me and the host were 3 bottles of red wine deep a piece, shooting the shit, talking shit, and culminating with him standing up, pointing, and telling me IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL THEN GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE.

I pulled a hey hey relax and we drunkenly hugged it out.

Might skip the 3rd bottle this time around. Probably won't.

[BradInATX 9208]

14 minutes ago, ztejas said:

You're a third of a fifth deep at 10 am? This guy fucks.

Unfortunately no, that was last night.

[ztejas 43528]

3 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

Unfortunately no, that was last night.

I was about to say. I would be passed out on the couch by 2 PM if I did that. Unless there were... other substances involved.

[tbone_ 14146]

Bus huh?

[ztejas 43528]

2 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Bus huh?

Megabus. Fuck driving 35. Never more than $60 round trip. Better than a plane.  Pop a (redacted) sit back with some shades and earbuds and relax.

Downtown Dallas to Downtown Austin. Easy peasy.

Gotta get the upgrade to the nicer seats though. Like a $3 upcharge.

[tbone_ 14146]

I would do that if it’s not gross.

[ztejas 43528]

4 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I would do that if it’s not gross.

It isn't. Pretty standard tour bus feel. Super comfy if it's a half full trip and you can kick your legs out. Plugs to charge phone/laptop.

It isn't Vonlane but it ain't greyhound either. Like I said - better than dealing with 35 and showing up exhausted. Much safer too.

And like I said, it isn't any grosser than flying Spirit or AA.

Edited November 22, 2018 by ztejas

[Trey3216 15352]

Day 5 of a shitshow Thanksgiving omg trip with my parents, brother, sister and BiL and the wife.   4th state in 4 days.  I’m aggregating the stories.   Will report on Sunday when I get home.   

[Pancho 44964]

If you need a laugh, the Black Twitter holiday tradition of #ThanksgivingClapback (also #ThanksgivingClapbacks) is comedy gold.

 

[G650 14273]

36 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Day 5 of a shitshow Thanksgiving omg trip with my parents, brother, sister and BiL and the wife.   4th state in 4 days.  I’m aggregating the stories.   Will report on Sunday when I get home.   

God bless you.

[Fudge Nuggets 19211]

4 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Wife and I went to the bar with friends last night.  I drank more, but she's the hungover one.

Chalking that up in the win column.

Congrats on being able to outdrink your wife.  What an accomplishment.

[Guest Lobo]

4 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Wife and I went to the bar with friends last night.  I drank more, but she's the hungover one.

Chalking that up in the win column.

That's a great story.  Do they make it for men?  

[Underdog 28767]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Megabus. Fuck driving 35. Never more than $60 round trip. Better than a plane.  Pop a (redacted) sit back with some shades and earbuds and relax.

Downtown Dallas to Downtown Austin. Easy peasy.

Gotta get the upgrade to the nicer seats though. Like a $3 upcharge.

Jr and his GF used to take Megabus up to Dallas to visit her folks from SA for pretty much the same reasons when they were students.  Now that they’re paid professionals, they go by air. 

[ztejas 43528]

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Jr and his GF used to take Megabus up to Dallas to visit her folks from SA for pretty much the same reasons when they were students.  Now that they’re paid professionals, they go by air. 

Dallas to Austin by air is more trouble than it's worth imo and not any faster.

If I was a higher paid professional I'd take Vonlane.

[bolverk 29708]

2 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Dallas to Austin by air is more trouble than it's worth imo and not any faster.

If I was a higher paid professional I'd take Vonlane.

I've taken it once from Houston to Austin when my flight was canceled. It really wasn't that bad, especially if you're just going alone. Totally agree about avoiding the hassle of flying while also avoiding the aggravation of driving I-35.

[ztejas 43528]

1 minute ago, bolverk said:

I've taken it once from Houston to Austin when my flight was canceled. It really wasn't that bad, especially if you're just going alone. Totally agree about avoiding the hassle of flying while also avoiding the aggravation of driving I-35.

Flying and driving both just take it out of you. So much dealing with shit doing each. I'd rather deal with maybe a few undesirables (no PC - talking toddlers, large gentlemen sitting next to me or people that reek of weed and BO) and someone driving a little slower while I'm taking a xan nap.

[GhostOfTomJoad 9349]

Bird's on the smoker, just cracked my 2nd one of these. Spit out half of one listening to that halftime show in Detroit. I was expecting the Jacksonville WTF guy to make a cameo it was so bad.

Managed a ten minute, drama free phone call with my dad to wish him a happy Thanksgiving and happy early 30th anniversary to him & his bitch of a wife. Now I can relax on the patio & tend the WSM for the next 4 hours or so. And drink, of course. Cheers, y'all.

[blacklab 11943]

took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker.

Best thanksgiving ever.

 

 

[GhostOfTomJoad 9349]

I spent all my rep for the day. Help me out, fam, and give our benevolent overlord some love for me.

Looks fabulous, BL. Well deserved.

[Hanrahan 1306]

I’m in Granbury with the in laws. Had sex with the wife in the morning woods. Don’t care. Had sex.

[ztejas 43528]

22 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Bird's on the smoker, just cracked my 2nd one of these. Spit out half of one listening to that halftime show in Detroit. I was expecting the Jacksonville WTF guy to make a cameo it was so bad.

Managed a ten minute, drama free phone call with my dad to wish him a happy Thanksgiving and happy early 30th anniversary to him & his bitch of a wife. Now I can relax on the patio & tend the WSM for the next 4 hours or so. And drink, of course. Cheers, y'all.

That's a good one. I've got a soft spot for porters.

[ztejas 43528]

22 minutes ago, blacklab said:

took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker.

Best thanksgiving ever.

 

 

Big Baller Brand

[usmc0331horn 965]

Starved myself and am ready to head out to the Driskell to completely gorge on turkey and prime rib. Then I might just have to drink myself to sleep while watching football afterward. No political discussions or nonstop Fox News stream ftw.

[ABSR 5321]

4 hours ago, ztejas said:

I would chalk that up to "not being having a pussy"

Fixed it.

[TrashMaster G 17588]

6 hours ago, Parliament said:

My sister is a CPA, married to a veterinarian. Brother is a Colonel in the US Army. He commands tanks or some goddamn thing. He goes through girlfriends like they're candy. Current gf is a gymnastics coach. Whatever. She annoys me. Dad is OCD about cooking. He frets for MONTHS ahead of the holiday about the right seasoning, rub, etc.

Anyway, with the bad economy I haven't been getting much work. But do you think they'll help me? Lol no. Even with my chronic back problems (old football injury) they don't give me shit. Screw 'em.

Bad economy? What country do you live in?