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Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

GhostOfTomJoad

By GhostOfTomJoad
in Lulz

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Guadaloopy
Guadaloopy

This is always one of my favorite threads.  Usually, I just kick back and enjoy some schadenfreude while reading other people's stories.  But this year is different.  My wife and I have been on the ou

blacklab
blacklab

took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker. Best thanksgiving ever.    

luke duke
luke duke

My FIL asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee when I got up this morning. I said yes and he proceeded to pour a cup and put it in the microwave. As he hands it to me he tells me that it was from yesterd

MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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Lent my sister and BiL my burner and pot last year to fry a turkey, because I was in Virginia.  
We're all having Christmas at her house this year.  We want fried turkey but her HOA has since forbidden the practice, so she asked me if I'd fry a couple and bring them over.  So, all week I asked her "you're sure you still have all the components for the fryer because I won't pick it up until Christmas morning"  Yes, she assured me. 
So I go over there this morning to open gifts and get the fryer to bring back to my house.  Aaaaand, no thermometer.   
Nothing's open and I'm not sure how the fuck I'm supposed to fry two turkeys w/out having any clue to oil temp.  
 
Merry fuckin' Christmas
https://www.thermoworks.com ho ho ho
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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

Posted
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On 12/21/2018 at 11:37 AM, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Not trying to put this in CR territory, just clarifying some shit.

* moved to TX at 14 (dad's job). Love it here. Grew up in 'burbs east of St Paul (Woodbury area)
* wife always knew her dad to be racist, but it was the polite vs overt when she was young. She spent her teen years trying to change his views to no avail
* the führer sign was made for him by a friend. From his church. He's not the only one with one. His fellow prepper friends also display them proudly (they think it's knee slapping funny)

Highlight of the trip was dinner last night. We brought fillets that I grilled. FIL was wondering why he had a butter knife instead of a steak knife. MIL said "they're so tender you'll barely need a knife." He proved her right, because he was so drunk he was cutting his fillet with the top side of the butter knife.

Back home already. Less than 24 hours door to door. Now the fun can begin. Best of luck to the rest of ya surly bastards.

Did you explain to him that the führer shot himself in the head in his bunker? Maybe encourage him to do the same.

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luke duke

luke duke 6413

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Everyone in the family, except for my daughter and I, was outside. She’s laying on top of me on the sofa. I’m scratching her back, which she loves, and enjoying a moment alone with her. My MIL walks in the house, sits on my feet/legs, picks up her phone to get on Facebook and never says a word.

 

There is a second sofa and two empty chairs in the room.

 

I should have thrown a cup of microwaved coffee in her face.

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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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what model thermometer is that green thing?   Is it any good? My maverick took a shit. 
Thats a smoke from thermoworks.

Sign up for their emails and wait for the sales.

They have a brand new model of those that hook to wifi.

www.thermoworks.com

Shaggy turned me on to these guys. Thanks shaggysurly you guys fuck.

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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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Oh and I cooked on a masterbuilt 40" electric smoker. Oak and mesquite chips. 250 for about 4 hours for the prime rib and 8 hours at 250 for the brisket. First brisket on the thing. No smoke ring but it tasted good. And the prime rib was awesome.

 

It's a stopgap until I can build a real pit. Fucking broken ankle fucked up this whole year on shit like this. Incision didnt heal so I had a wound vac on my ankle for three months.

 

Merry Christmas OU sucks ho ho ho

 

 

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spystud13

spystud13 2371

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Freshman year at Texas, called my parents to tell them our team had just lost the intramural championship flag football game. They answered to tell me my mother had attempted to burn the house down. She was making fried jalapeños, realized they didn’t have Ranch, ran to the store to get some. Didn’t turn the stove off. Pops fortunately got home first before everything was fucked. 

 

That pic above really sucks though. 

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Posted
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3 hours ago, Mac8111 said:

“Show up at 3pm and we will eat at 3:30”.


Who the fuck wants to eat at 3:30?

 

That beats the fuck out of :  Get here at 11:00 ish, expecting to eat at noon, and the meal is ready at 4.

 

 

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burntorangebongos

burntorangebongos 10747

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15 hours ago, luke duke said:

Everyone in the family, except for my daughter and I, was outside. She’s laying on top of me on the sofa. I’m scratching her back, which she loves, and enjoying a moment alone with her. My MIL walks in the house, sits on my feet/legs, picks up her phone to get on Facebook and never says a word.

 

There is a second sofa and two empty chairs in the room.

 

I should have thrown a cup of microwaved coffee in her face.

passive aggressive disapproval of the lying down touching? Only thing I can think of. That isn't on you and your daughter, that was innocent and moments that make Christmas great.

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted
On 12/24/2018 at 2:07 PM, slorch said:

On the way home from work, drove by Specs at I-45 and Rayford.  Parking lot was overflowing.

I thought of this thread immediately.

Poor bastards.

also, and maybe this is for the beer thread; but do people drink everything they buy every day?  Why the fucking last minute shopping for stuff that's got a great shelflife?

Christmas gifts.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8810

Posted
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17 minutes ago, burntorangebongos said:

passive aggressive disapproval of the lying down touching? Only thing I can think of. That isn't on you and your daughter, that was innocent and moments that make Christmas great.

Nah, MIL is signaling that she wants to be the one lying on top of him.

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