Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

10 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

So...you can fap to that?

Lets see the MIL before I commit to a fapp.

[housious 468]

I’ll commit 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

5 minutes ago, housious said:

I’ll commit 

By God, that's pluck sir !!

[Knoxtnhorn 6,055]

Currently stuck at my wife's grandparent's house.  NBC is on and 2 old chicks from the Today Show have been yapping non-stop for 30 straight mins.

I think that's my issue with fam.  The utter lack of control to change the channel or hide in another room.  In Dallas we always host so I'm in control or have the ability to jet or hide for a bit.

 

[Armybrat 40,850]

Pics of two old chicks?

[ABSR 5,315]

On 12/24/2018 at 9:01 PM, Chewbacca said:

On 12/24/2018 at 4:17 PM, spystud13 said:

20% alc is 40 proof, jesus fuck. 

How does an adult male not know this?

He quit(ter) drinking, became stupid, and decided to become a preachy, know-it-all a-hole.   Only the last part is required to post here.

[texas08 1,599]

Subscribed so I can read all this drama later.

[phdhorn 6,224]

I like pretty much a variety of booze in my coffee.  Except I leave out the coffee.

Problem solved.

[Knoxtnhorn 6,055]

Great.  The conversation has turned to how everyone in the house is just now getting over head lice.  

[Guest Lobo]

^

then be weary of any man scratching his mustache.  

[Underdog 28,711]

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Pics of two old chicks?

Scroll up^

[MissingInAction 25,106]

I'd be more concerned about taint itching.

[luke duke 6,413]

passive aggressive disapproval of the lying down touching? Only thing I can think of. That isn't on you and your daughter, that was innocent and moments that make Christmas great.

I suppose that’s one interpretation. I’m going with the insufferable bitch theory.

[Knoxtnhorn 6,055]

5 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Pics of two old chicks?

Here you go Brat.  I'll take the one on my right plz.  You can have the dude on the left.

Edited December 26, 2018 by Knoxtnhorn

[GSU&UT 1,798]

On 12/25/2018 at 10:58 AM, Zepol87 said:

I wasn't supposed to get really drunk last night now I'm fucking hungover. My family is gonna piss me off in about an hour

 

Catching up in the thread and laughed so damn hard at this, never stop being you Zep.

[Ravishing Rick 1,129]

Not sure what the highlight was for me this year:

A) My brother-in-law got engaged, and his soon to be father-in-law is a mall Santa.  At first it was kind of cool for my kids to talk to "Santa", but then every restaurant or other outing we had, there was a line of kids and their parents wanting to take pictures with him.  Got old quick.

B) My other brother-in-law (early 50s, sells animal feed for a living, militant right wing, 3 guns on him at any point in time) shows up Christmas eve completely plastered (however that didn't stop him from driving his family there in his F250), and spent the whole night explaining to everyone why North Shore was able to win the high school football championship because they had the right mix of "athletes" (errr....) and enough latinos to find a good kicker. 

[Kennythetiger 9,389]

So brother-in-law's father-in-law wears his Santa costume when you guys go out to eat?  

[Ravishing Rick 1,129]

1 minute ago, Kennythetiger said:

So brother-in-law's father-in-law wears his Santa costume when you guys go out to eat?  

Yep.  He wore his Santa hat, a red shirt and his Santa glasses.  He was wearing (too) short khaki shorts with all this.  So, yeah, it was obvious.

[Kennythetiger 9,389]

And you didn't take pictures.  Asshole.

[GSU&UT 1,798]

35 minutes ago, Ravishing Rick said:

Yep.  He wore his Santa hat, a red shirt and his Santa glasses.  He was wearing (too) short khaki shorts with all this.  So, yeah, it was obvious.

But why? Sounds like he likes kids a little too much.

[Knoxtnhorn 6,055]

My MIL is in a perpetual state of death.  She's been sure she's about to die for 15 years.  So, every time we visit. We get to take home a bunch of crap that she's saved.  L

Last time it was 4 boxes of fabric.  Cool.  My wife doesn't sew.  No telling what they're going through right now.

[Player 4,575]

Probably her adult DVD collection. Maybe you'll also get South Padre Sluts 47. 

[Knoxtnhorn 6,055]

Let's hope so.

[ABSR 5,315]

28 minutes ago, Player said:

Probably her adult DVD collection. Maybe you'll also get South Padre Sluts 47. 

You should look for South Padre Sluts 46.  47 was a little derivative.  

[elfenix 34,307]

On 12/17/2018 at 12:59 PM, Johnny Sack said:

I’m godfather to a nephew.  And I’m about as Protestant as they come.  The priest asked me nothing about my beliefs.  

[ztejas 43,473]

1 hour ago, ABSR said:

You should look for South Padre Sluts 46.  47 was a little derivative.  

It peaked around episode 30 or so. I agree that 46 was a stand out, up there with 42 which has a great Eiffel Tower scene.

[SHOOTER12 8,810]

7 minutes ago, ztejas said:

It peaked around episode 30 or so. I agree that 46 was a stand out, up there with 42 which has a great Eiffel Tower scene.

Port Aransas Anal Sluts IV was better than any of those.

[ztejas 43,473]

1 minute ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Port Aransas Anal Sluts IV was better than any of those.

Are you in that one?

[SHOOTER12 8,810]

7 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Are you in that one?

No, I was in parts VII and VIII

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

4 hours ago, Ravishing Rick said:

Not sure what the highlight was for me this year:

A) My brother-in-law got engaged, and his soon to be father-in-law is a mall Santa.  At first it was kind of cool for my kids to talk to "Santa", but then every restaurant or other outing we had, there was a line of kids and their parents wanting to take pictures with him.  Got old quick.

B) My other brother-in-law (early 50s, sells animal feed for a living, militant right wing, 3 guns on him at any point in time) shows up Christmas eve completely plastered (however that didn't stop him from driving his family there in his F250), and spent the whole night explaining to everyone why North Shore was able to win the high school football championship because they had the right mix of "athletes" (errr....) and enough latinos to find a good kicker. 

which bro in law did you give the rude awakening to?

[Underdog 28,711]

22 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Here you go Brat.  I'll take the one on my right plz.  You can have the dude on the left.

That pic does AB absolutely no good, you should know by now he sees everything upside down on here.  To him, you’re taking Hoda and calling The Giffer Killer a man. 

[Drew 2,494]

Went to my brothers house.  Dog started barking at me, not mean or aggressive, just barking.

 

My brothers wife and one of his step kids say "That's weird, he normally only barks at black people".  I take a glance at my brother and he's doing the Picard meme, and just shaking his head pretty much telling me "don't say anything".  We were both raised the same, in south Dallas and on Military Bases, so it was weird to hear that from his family.  I made sure not to tell my wife about it since she's obviously not White.

[AM Wood 335]

Dogs are more racist than people. Have you ever seen Cesar Milan feed the 50 or so dogs at his ranch? After they eat they all go lay in the shade. Rotts with rotts, Shepherds with shepherds, pit bulls with pit bulls. Looks like a high school cafeteria. 

[elfenix 34,307]

5 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

No, I was in parts VII and VIII

there's a port aransas anal slut on mfc

[Doyle Hargreaves 301]

 Step father. Hacking cough. Every 3/4 minutes clear cough clear. Gets louder thru the day, can hear thru the walls. Gotdamn TV is at 39. Too ignorant and geriatric to engage surround sound. Bragged about trip to Ruidoso this summer and how he avoided the high tourist meal prices by discovering Subway. 

 

 

[Underdog 28,711]

1 hour ago, AM Wood said:

Dogs are more racist than people. Have you ever seen Cesar Milan feed the 50 or so dogs at his ranch? After they eat they all go lay in the shade. Rotts with rotts, Shepherds with shepherds, pit bulls with pit bulls. Looks like a high school cafeteria. 

Sounds like a bad Kristy McNichols movie. 

[BearSchlong 8,098]

Went to my brothers house.  Dog started barking at me, not mean or aggressive, just barking.
 
My brothers wife and one of his step kids say "That's weird, he normally only barks at black people".  I take a glance at my brother and he's doing the Picard meme, and just shaking his head pretty much telling me "don't say anything".  We were both raised the same, in south Dallas and on Military Bases, so it was weird to hear that from his family.  I made sure not to tell my wife about it since she's obviously not White.

He was just making an observation, doesn't sound racist to me. Now if he had used a slur that would be another story.

[ABSR 5,315]

20 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

4 hours ago, Drew said:

Went to my brothers house.  Dog started barking at me, not mean or aggressive, just barking.
 
My brothers wife and one of his step kids say "That's weird, he normally only barks at black people".  I take a glance at my brother and he's doing the Picard meme, and just shaking his head pretty much telling me "don't say anything".  We were both raised the same, in south Dallas and on Military Bases, so it was weird to hear that from his family.  I made sure not to tell my wife about it since she's obviously not White.

He was just making an observation, doesn't sound racist to me. Now if he had used a slur that would be another story.

Agree.  Sounds like the kid is observant and the dog is racist.

 

Had a friend who had a rescue lab.  Dog was nice and great, but if a black man in a baseball cap came near the dog turned into Cujo and it took two people to hold the leash to keep it from attacking.  We assumed she had been mistreated by a black man in a baseball cap.... or she hated negro league baseball.

[Anastasis 23,475]

5 hours ago, Drew said:

Went to my brothers house.  Dog started barking at me, not mean or aggressive, just barking.

 

My brothers wife and one of his step kids say "That's weird, he normally only barks at black people".  I take a glance at my brother and he's doing the Picard meme, and just shaking his head pretty much telling me "don't say anything".  We were both raised the same, in south Dallas and on Military Bases, so it was weird to hear that from his family.  I made sure not to tell my wife about it since she's obviously not White.

Would have dropped an "I'm only white from the waist up" on the wife and step kid. 

[Leeroy Jenkins 2,409]

8 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Port Aransas Anal Sluts IV was better than any of those.

I fucked some chick in the ass on the beach in Port A back in the day after a night of drinking at Sharkey’s so this hits close to....

[Incredulity 11,675]

3 hours ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

I fucked some chick in the ass on the beach in Port A back in the day after a night of drinking at Sharkey’s so this hits close to....

Please tell me you shouted:

 

Leeeeerooooyyyy Jeeeennnkins!!!

 

right as you went in.

[After irth 1,243]

3 hours ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

I fucked some chick in the ass on the beach in Port A back in the day after a night of drinking at Sharkey’s so this hits close to....

You and everybody else...that’s just what ya do in Port A...

[Nice Guy Eddie 13,515]

On 12/26/2018 at 10:12 AM, Knoxtnhorn said:

Currently stuck at my wife's grandparent's house.  NBC is on and 2 old chicks from the Today Show have been yapping non-stop for 30 straight mins.

I think that's my issue with fam.  The utter lack of control to change the channel or hide in another room.  In Dallas we always host so I'm in control or have the ability to jet or hide for a bit.

 

I always find it difficult to accept old people setting the heat to 79 degrees.   

[ztejas 43,473]

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I always find it difficult to accept old people setting the heat to 79 degrees.   

I slept on a pullout in the back of my granddad's house over Christmas. I woke up the first night butt-ass naked with not even a sheet across me. Had to open a window it was so damn hot (and this is with it being in the 30s outside at night). 

[Guest Lobo]

I used to wonder why my wife and her sisters were so fragile when it came to A/C when they'd visit.  They are all from a barren, blizzard-torn heap in Western Kansas.  I've been there a dozen times when it's been well below zero with a windchill and snowdrift that will make you question the existence of God.  And I thought, "how can they get so chilly and whiny with an A/C at 76 degrees?"  Then I realized after several years, it's because their parents kept the house near 80 in the Winter.  18-25 years there, they never acclimated to the cold.  

[Hate 20,112]

I’m about to put together the trampoline we bought our son for Christmas. Pray for me.

[EE2B 1,565]

It’s not bad. I put one together for my nieces basically by myself. Just make sure you stretch the trampoline exactly the way they specify.

[AM Wood 335]

why would it matter what the temperature is outside? i like it 68-70 in the middle of a michigan winter, and in the heat of the summer.

[tbone_ 14,128]

I’m about to put together the trampoline we bought our son for Christmas. Pray for me.

Just did this. Not hard.

[BigDHornfan 6,549]

2 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Just did this. Not hard.

This.  just time consuming.   Put up one on Christmas day by myself.  Took about 3 hours.