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Former Cowboys LB Comes Out and Will Be First NFL Player in Same Sex Marriage

Vic Mackey

By Vic Mackey
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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47163

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Former Cowboys LB Jeff Rohrer

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As a linebacker helping lead Yale to Ivy League championships, while he was starting with the mid-1980s Dallas Cowboys, for nearly all of his life, Jeff Rohrer kept a secret.

Or more precisely, he kept lying to himself.

But once Rohrer started telling the truth to himself and those in his life, he found that he never had anything to fear.

‘What am I going to do, come out then?’

The 53rd overall pick in the 1982 draft, Rohrer played at 6-foot-3, 230 pounds. He was a reserve for his first three seasons, but started 40 games from 1985-87. During training camp in 1988, Rohrer needed surgery for a bulging disc in his lower back, and missed the entire season.

In 1989, the Cowboys hired Jimmy Johnson, and Rohrer was cut as Johnson remade the roster.

During all of that time, Rohrer did his best to play the role of “straight” football player with teammates and family, internally wrestling with what he knew was his truth: He is gay.

“Living with my family in that [Southern California] community, it was not acceptable,” Rohrer told OutSports. “That was not part of the plan, and it wasn’t going to happen. When I went to Yale, it was the same thing there. And then I got drafted by the Cowboys. What am I going to do, come out then?”

And long-held stereotypes didn’t help.

“Football is a gladiator sport. It’s very, very physical, very tough. At least at this point in our society, toughness is not associated with the gay community. It’s not a natural fit to a lot of people,” Rohrer said.

Despite his fears, Rohrer doesn’t recall hearing any gay slurs in the Cowboys locker room.

Rohrer was married to a woman (they’ve now been divorced for a decade), had two children, and lived a life he enjoyed; after his NFL career ended, he moved back to California and is now a successful television commercial producer.

“So many nights I cried myself to sleep, feeling like I was the Wolfman, or Jekyll and Hyde, or Frankenstein, some kind of monster that only comes out when it’s a full moon, always living in the shadows,” he said.

But just a few years ago, now in his mid-50s, Rohrer finally stopped living in the shadows.

Teammates accept Rohrer after he comes out

Three years ago, Rohrer went to a popular gay bar in West Hollywood after work and met a man named Joshua Ross.

This weekend, the two will be married. Rohrer is the first known former NFL player to be part of a same-sex marriage.

Rohrer came out to a few of his former teammates, but word spread quickly to others. He’s been nearly universally supported, in a way he never imagined.

It makes him emotional to talk about it.

“The kindness of my friends and my family and my teammates … It’s just been [expletive] ridiculous how nice they have been, and how supportive. And how they don’t care about any of that. They just love me, they always have. Nothing’s changed. Nothing’s changed.”

Longtime NFL spokesman Greg Aiello, who recently retired, was part of Dallas’ public relations staff when Rohrer was with the franchise. He acknowledged to the New York Times it would have been taboo for a player to come out as gay during the era Rohrer played, but that the NFL and member teams have worked “to ensure tolerance and inclusion.”

“Jeff was a bright and very personable guy that everyone liked,” Aiello said. “People who really know Jeff will be happy for him, and proud of him for living his truth.”

‘I feel like I’m 16. I feel revived’

Rohrer will celebrate his 60th birthday on Christmas (at least one invitee to the wedding thought Rohrer was joking about who he was marrying and that it was a way to announce a 60th birthday party), but said he feels “like I’m 16. I feel revived” as he readies to begin his new life with Ross, who is a skin-care expert.

During Rohrer’s time with the Cowboys, the team wasn’t too successful. But as a commercial producer, he’s seen his work play during the Super Bowl, including ads for Doritos, Heinz, and the NFL – he was behind the “Super Bowl Baby Legends” commercialthat ran during Super Bowl LI.

Rohrer knows not everyone will be as positive about his marriage as many in his life have been, and he’s accepted that. He’s living his truth.

“People are born gay, as I was, though being gay was just something that had no place during the course of my football life,” he said. “But when I got divorced, I said the hell with it, I’m going to do what I’ve always wanted to do. Then I found Josh, and began to openly live the life I was born to live.”

 

 

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ztejas

ztejas 43546

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Good for him. Troy Vincent is a guy that my office works with pretty often and he came out a few years ago about how he had played with plenty of gay guys in his day. 

The gist was - it was never an issue. These guys obviously weren't out to the media but everyone in the locker room knew it and respected it and kept the focus on ball. 

Article: https://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/nfl-exec-former-miami-dolphin-troy-vincent-gay-players-were-big-deal-teams-90s/i9SaLhT620dvTx6jm75BGK/

Btw - Troy is a phenomenal dude and one of the few bright spots when it comes to the FO in the NFL. 

Edited by ztejas
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Whatever

Whatever 700

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Good for him. Troy Vincent is a guy that my office works with pretty often and he came out a few years ago about how he had played with plenty of gay guys in his day. 
The gist was - it was never an issue. These guys obviously weren't out to the media but everyone in the locker room knew it and respected it and kept the focus on ball. 
Article: https://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/nfl-exec-former-miami-dolphin-troy-vincent-gay-players-were-big-deal-teams-90s/i9SaLhT620dvTx6jm75BGK/

Btw - Troy is a phenomenal dude and one of the few bright spots when it comes to the FO in the NFL. 
Don't you mean they kept the focus on balls?
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Agent47

Agent47 157

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2 minutes ago, Whatever said:
38 minutes ago, ztejas said:
Good for him. Troy Vincent is a guy that my office works with pretty often and he came out a few years ago about how he had played with plenty of gay guys in his day. 
The gist was - it was never an issue. These guys obviously weren't out to the media but everyone in the locker room knew it and respected it and kept the focus on ball. 
Article: https://www.palmbeachpost.com/sports/nfl-exec-former-miami-dolphin-troy-vincent-gay-players-were-big-deal-teams-90s/i9SaLhT620dvTx6jm75BGK/

Btw - Troy is a phenomenal dude and one of the few bright spots when it comes to the FO in the NFL. 

Read more  

Don't you mean they kept the focus on balls?

Lol.

More jokes please!

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ztejas

ztejas 43546

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2 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Ok thread police. I will take that under consideration. You seem very uptight on here quite a bit.

It's inviting political bullshit and barely about football. Call me what you want but "uptight" ain't the right descriptor. 

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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47163

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2 minutes ago, ztejas said:

It's inviting political bullshit and barely about football. Call me what you want but "uptight" ain't the right descriptor. 

Lmao at neg repping. You are constantly a uptight pussy on here and bitch constantly. Weren't you crying about neg rep and derailed the Zach Smith thread? Fuck off.

Edited by Vic Mackey
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ChiTownDoc

ChiTownDoc 21174

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30 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:


So if he was an older retired football player marrying a much younger tiny woman would you say the same thing?

Why not?  I’d say the same shit about both. Whatever a couple of consenting adults decide to do w eachother doesn’t bother me in the least. 

 

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5216

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2 minutes ago, CastHorn said:

I played with a pretty good DT in HS who was gay. He never confirmed his sexual orientation but it was pretty obvious. He was respected in the locker room because he was a physically imposing dude who would lay motherfuckers out on the field. 

No reason to get so graphic towards the end, we got what you were saying.

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ChiTownDoc

ChiTownDoc 21174

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35 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

You are an idiot by the way...

Dallas is currently tied for 4th in the NFL for fewest points allowed.

Try again.

 

Damn this is rare.  A Cowboys fan that still defends the team.  I gave up on that over a decade ago.  You’re like an active gay NFL player...we know you exist, but never hear from you.  Props, I think.  

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Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4085

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12 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Damn this is rare.  A Cowboys fan that still defends the team.  I gave up on that over a decade ago.  You’re like an active gay NFL player...we know you exist, but never hear from you.  Props, I think.  

Just stating the facts.

Not defending anyone but the Cowboys actually are.

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