Lincoln Riley clubs puppies and hates Jesus

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley named his first born son Taint.  

[CBHorn 414]

Lincoln Riley named his first born daughter Grundle.  

[Bill Lumbergh 7170]

Lincoln Riley does not know Betty Blackwell. 

[Nueces River Rat 5529]

Lincoln Riley took Thanksgiving Dinner away from the sick and hungry.

[Chilly Water 409]

Every year, Lincoln Riley goes by himself to get his picture taken with a mall Santa.

[ztejas 43266]

Lincoln Riley coaches at Oklahoma.

[TexArcher 37519]

Lincoln Riley got a boner when Han Solo died.

[elfenix 34171]

On 11/25/2018 at 11:19 PM, Chilly Water said:

Every year, Lincoln Riley goes by himself to get his picture taken with a mall Santa.

and every year, when santa asks him what he wants for christmas, lincoln giggles and whispers, "cocks"

[elfenix 34171]

after coaching a stressful game of "gobble the cocks," lincoln riley likes to relax with a fine old fashioned cocktail.  his preferred recipe is 7-up with a splash of crown royale maple. 

[elfenix 34171]

lincoln riley enjoys taco bell bean burritos, hold the onions and hot sauce, because that's just too spicy.

[Longboard Horn 40145]

Lincoln Riley thinks Last Jedi is the best Star Wars movie 

[Dnaguy 11777]

Lincoln Riley use laser light christmas decorations.

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley leaves the Christmas lights on his house up all year long. 

[ztejas 43266]

Lincoln Riley thinks a visor is a good way to hide a receding hairline.

[Eskimohorn 5615]

Lincoln Riley loves renting razor scooters

[Rimbo 25784]

Lincoln Riley beats up the handicapped kids

[Dnaguy 11777]

Lincoln Riley edits the genome of babies TO GIVE them HIV.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley does not let people know that in order to ensure quality service their calls are being monitored or recorded.

[Huckleberry 32703]

Lincoln Riley coaches Oklahoma.

[Rimbo 25784]

Lincoln Riley gets sex advice from Cosmo.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3806]

Lincoln Riley leaves the wheels on his house after putting it on blocks 

[Longboard Horn 40145]

Lincoln Riley sits when he pees

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley prefers paper and plastic.  

Lincoln Riley laughed hysterically when Old Yeller died.  

Lincoln Riley takes money from the Salvation Army buckets.  

Edited November 29, 2018 by lemonandaturd

[DanTheHorn 4901]

Lincoln Riley wants to be a puppy and get his cousin to pet him.

[EastTexan 662]

Lincoln Riley prefers Mr Pibb instead of Dr Pepper.

[MacLaren 62]

Lincoln Riley wipes his butt from back to front

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley just leaves his shopping cart next to his car

[MacLaren 62]

Lincoln RIley waits a full 15 seconds at the intersection turn lane after the light turns green.  

[MacLaren 62]

Just now, pops said:

Lincoln Riley just leaves his shopping cart next to his car

Lincoln Riley leaves his shopping cart BEHIND your car

[Rimbo 25784]

Lincoln Riley picks up things from the supermarket, then decides he doesn't want them and just leaves them wherever instead of putting them back where he found them.

Lincoln Riley doesn't tip, even though these people depend on tips for a living.

Lincoln Riley thinks separating kids from the parents is pretty neat, and should be extended beyond just the border.

 

[Vic Mackey 46936]

Lincoln Riley prefers to sit in traffic. He sets in GPS app to take him on the longest route.

[High Plains Drifter 10977]

Lincoln Riley posts scat porn on that other place.

[High Plains Drifter 10977]

Lincoln Riley watches this video and doesn't think it is fucking hilarious.

 

 

Lol Tight turning radius

 

 

[GhostofDanJones 336]

Lincoln Riley is 0-1 against ISU in Norman 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln Riley won't buy Venetian blinds because he thinks Silvio Berlusconi would spy on him if he did.

[ztejas 43266]

Lincoln Riley can't see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Crunch.

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley thinks Andy Warhol was one helluva coach.  

[Eskimohorn 5615]

When Lincoln Riley visits Austin, his go to places are Magnolia Farms in Waco, the San Marcos outlet mall and the Hooters off Riverside.

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley cuts the bark off his brisket

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Lincoln riley won't eat brisket, because it doesn't taste like penis.

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley does not believe time is of the essence.

[TexArcher 37519]

Lincoln Riley went to a Middle Eastern restaurant that serves camel penis.  He sent it back because it wasn't big enough.

[Gambrinus 51]

Lincoln Riley thinks the new Dos Equis ads are better

[Bill Lumbergh 7170]

Lincoln Riley is an investor in Eskimo Hut.

[Bertelsen's 70 yard TD 44]

Lincoln Riley drives 53 MPH in the left lane on I-35.   And is oblivious to the other cars around him.  Does not know the turn signal.

[Rimbo 25784]

Lincoln Riley farts in crowded elevators

[HeyMcFly 144]

The only salsa Lincoln Riley eats is pace

[The Earl of Texas 3131]

Lincoln Reily microwaves Indian food in office break rooms

[ShowmeyourTDs 1140]

Lincoln Riley is living proof that even God makes mistakes sometimes.

[ShowmeyourTDs 1140]

The only way that Lincoln Riley can get laid is to crawl up a chcken’s ass and wait.