Lincoln Riley clubs puppies and hates Jesus

[Crusher 127]

On ‎11‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 11:41 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

Lincoln Riley puts the empty milk jug back in the refrigerator. 

Just threw away two empty milk jugs from refrigerator. What the fuck is Lincoln Riley doing at my house?

**Side note: Unusual amount of suggestions for bestiality porn coming up on my iPad when I visit Pornhub???

Edited December 1, 2018 by Crusher

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley does armpit farts at funerals.  

Edited December 1, 2018 by lemonandaturd

[Scheiss Meister 8399]

Lincoln Riley picks his ass, and eats what he picks out.

[Bill Lumbergh 7170]

Lincoln Riley considers Bob Stoops a personal friend and stand up guy. 

[CobbInLimbo 132]

Riley looks like he's gonna spend his life having one epiphany after another, always thinking he's finally figured out what's holding him back, and how he can finally be productive and creative and turn his life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's just how he is. The thing standing in the way of his dreams is the person having them.

[ztejas 43266]

Lincoln Riley's father went out for "a pack of cigarettes" and then Adrian Peterson fucked his mom and whipped him with a riding crop.

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley was a forgotten character in the original Wizard of Oz story.  He wanted a bag of dicks, but he had many bags at home sweet home.    

[Bill Lumbergh 7170]

Lincoln Riley thought LOST really found its stride after the first few boring seasons.  Especially the ending. 

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley would take Toby Keith over Willie, any day. 

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley’s favorite Pandora station is Coldplay (Holiday). 

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley likes to tag along with Coach Bro when he’s out looking for action. 

[Phoenix 65]

Lincoln Riley's favorite song in the whole world is "Barbie Girl"

[Mileslong 4715]

Lincoln Riley likes to tag along with Coach Bro when he’s out looking for action. 

Riley takes the fat one...

[Mikey4 2476]

Lincoln Riley has no comment on Tom Herman's game... Even though Herman won the last one.

 

 

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley argues rating numbers for the 18-49 demographic for am Dallas radio. 

[Eskimohorn 5615]

Lincoln Riley believes Corporal Upham should be promoted to Captain Upham

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley screams at the umps at his kid's Little League games.

[GRHorn 105]

Lincoln Riley wants to tell you about his fantasy football team.

[Fire Jack Chevigny 938]

Lincoln Riley thinks that last Saturday's aggy-LSU game was the game of the century in college football. 

[butthurt 1520]

Lincoln Riley dips his French fries in mayonnaise.

[thunderlounge 7758]

Lincoln Riley thinks Hitler got a bad rap.

 

 

[TexArcher 37519]

57 minutes ago, GRHorn said:

Lincoln Riley wants to tell you about his fantasy football team.

He drafted based on how much he wants to have sex with them.

[millhouse 2587]

Lincoln Riley invented gender reveal parties and likes videos of them on facebook.

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley uses one square of turd paper.

[ztejas 43266]

5 hours ago, GRHorn said:

Lincoln Riley’s wife still needs to speak to the manager. 

 

Imagine being worth that much money and that's what you go home to at night.

Michelle has a rockin bod and some Southern-charm style and a little piss and vinegar. That's what makes a real coach's wife.

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley celebrates Michael Bolton’s entire catalog.

[Rimbo 25784]

Lincoln Riley had a Top 40 pop hit in 1989.

[edit: I went back and looked up to see if that was a sufficiently shitty year... my God, it was even worse than I remembered]

Edited December 1, 2018 by Rimbo

[lemonandaturd 4285]

Lincoln Riley clubs baby seals for laughs.  

[kopp0e 1135]

6 hours ago, elfenix said:

lincoln riley still owns pleated khakis.

Hey..!
I happen to like pleated khakis... I mean corduroy khakis...

A good pair of corduroy are hard to find (like the defense of OU) #Ouch...

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley keeps his socks on during sex

[ztejas 43266]

Lincoln Riley keeps his air conditioning at 68 degrees the entire summer while he and his family are on vacation.

[ztejas 43266]

17 minutes ago, kopp0e said:

Hey..!
I happen to like pleated khakis... I mean corduroy khakis...

A good pair of corduroy are hard to find (like the defense of OU) #Ouch...

Not sure if you're a fatass or not but here you go kopp0e

https://www.levi.com/US/en_US/clothing/men/jeans/511-slim-fit-corduroy-pants/p/045113114?Camp=SEM*EC*US*EN*DSA - Men*goog**20181102*&gclid=Cj0KCQiA3IPgBRCAARIsABb-iGI-codUoqbmkyRAT8dcBX0wYzWKlTOWcrdePQjDvS94oLiKYmXvDpAaAuD8EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Best pair of cords on the market for the price

[NorthLoop 14093]

Lincoln Riley eats at Chilis 

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley does not use the bottom of his shoe to flush public toilets. 

[Fire Jack Chevigny 938]

Lincoln Riley thinks Adrian Peterson deserves a Father of the Year mug.

[Fire Jack Chevigny 938]

Lincoln Riley thinks Dusty Dvoracek is good at broadcasting.

[Fire Jack Chevigny 938]

Lincoln Riley thinks that Big12 officials are competent at their jobs.

[Deguello 54]

5 hours ago, ztejas said:

Not sure if you're a fatass or not but here you go kopp0e

https://www.levi.com/US/en_US/clothing/men/jeans/511-slim-fit-corduroy-pants/p/045113114?Camp=SEM*EC*US*EN*DSA - Men*goog**20181102*&gclid=Cj0KCQiA3IPgBRCAARIsABb-iGI-codUoqbmkyRAT8dcBX0wYzWKlTOWcrdePQjDvS94oLiKYmXvDpAaAuD8EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Best pair of cords on the market for the price

Lotta Kyler Murray-sized legs on those pants. 

[Dnaguy 11777]

4 hours ago, Fire Jack Chevigny said:

Lincoln Riley thinks Dusty Dvoracek is good at broadcasting.

Lincoln Riley thinks Petros Papadakis is the zeinith of sports broadcasting.

[Majorcholas 507]

Lincoln Riley loves last minute Friday meetings

[South Austin 52144]

Lincoln Riley voted for Summer over Pedro.

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley is pleased when he sees road closureson IH-35 on the way to Dallas, because he can turn around and say, "Hey, means more time together!"  

[The Earl of Texas 3131]

Lincoln Riley’s a little bitch

[DoobieWah 1412]

Lincoln Riley was NOT named for the sixteenth president, but for the back seat he was conceived in.

His mom wanted to name him after his father, but she wan't sue which Shriner it was.

[South Austin 52144]

Lincoln Riley visited Auschwitz and silent farted the whole time.

[Mantis Toboggan, MD 1499]

Lincoln Riley does not tell strangers that “defense wins championships “

[DeweyCox 366]

Lincoln Riley skates solo during couples only. 

[Fire Jack Chevigny 938]

Lincoln Riley agrees with Nebraska fans, there wasn’t 1 second left.

[thunderlounge 7758]

Lincoln Riley chews gum on line, but doesn’t bring enough for everybody. 

[elfenix 34171]

Lincoln Riley separately bags every piece of fruit he gets at the grocery store.