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Mack Brown Tarheel Football: The Orange Slice Boogaloo

Machinator

By Machinator
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South Austin
South Austin

He wrote “Fuck you, pay me,” didn’t he.

MrBig
MrBig

I posted this last night in the shoe thread with all the memes and then JMU lays 70 on Mack at home the next day. Perfection.   

CurlyDumps
CurlyDumps

Some UNC fan just liked my fire Mack Brown tweet from 2013.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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If you let a guy like Manny Diaz usurp your power and authority, you don’t need to a head coach anywhere.  And you certainly are not a leader of young men.  Manny Diaz  is the Coordinator equivalent of the “I’d like to speak with your manager” lady.

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4409

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18 minutes ago, Lobo said:

If you let a guy like Manny Diaz usurp your power and authority, you don’t need to a head coach anywhere.  And you certainly are not a leader of young men.  Manny Diaz  is the Coordinator equivalent of the “I’d like to speak with your manager” lady.

To be fair, Alligator Roll is a damn fine band name. The only question is whether it needs to be Zydeco or Jimmy Buffet oriented.

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MrBig

MrBig 5423

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7 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

Fuck his passive aggressive whining ass. 

It blows my mind how anyone’s  still apologizing for him after the way he torched the program on way out the door. 

Would not be surprised if he wiped his eyebrows using the horns down gesture.

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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It’s why I don’t get all that attached to coaches.   They are employees.  Who we pay a lot of money to.  I’m a University of Texas alum and supporter.  I hated that Mackbrown-TexasFootball.com bullshit.  

Truth is Mack was a good coach with only a handful seasons where he exceeded expectations and then his last 4 were terrible to bad.  

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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28 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

The staff that had to talk you into taking VY or the staff that you didn’t listen when JT Barrett was begging for a scholarship? Or the staff booking those 3pm tee times you participated in?

Yep, the staff that talked him into VY and then I'd bet it was also the staff that talked him into letting VY be VY and not fit in that jive GDGD system those two had cooked up. And who overreacted to the Simms-Applewhite Fan Feud by choosing to simply never have more than one viable QB on the squad at any one time, unless the back-up was a redshirt. And so he passed on several fucking Heisman-winning QBs (all douche-skillets, but only about half potential embarassments to the University) and whiffed on other great QBs because he'd given the keys to the program to Garrett Got-Dam Gilbert.

On 7/2/2019 at 6:51 AM, 52-80 said:

 

Give me Mack's once-in-a-lifetime luck over the 10 years preceding him (where UT went 65-50).  Hell, take it all the back to the day DKR quit, since Akers lost almost all his bowl games.

His 5 years of mailing it in still beats the 5 years that followed.  So when does the next meet happen?

 

The 5 years that followed were the direct result of Mack's salting of the earth in the five years before he left. Strong was left with one viable QB and one above-average offensive lineman who was not a lean-sipper or pothead. Both that one QB and that above-average lineman went out for the season in (or immediately following) the first game of Strong's tenure. Had those two guys stayed on their feet, or had their been a little more depth on the roster at QB or OL, Texas wins at least eight or nine games that year, the recruiting is even better than it was, which was light-years ahead of the garbage Mack brought in for how many years before he was fired?

You can't just rebuild that kind of structural catastrophe in two or three years. He inherited a shit-ton of talent from Mackovic, brought in some more (especially while he had Tim Brewster as a wingman) for a few years, had to be first, seeing VY as a take, and second, allowing VY's talents to shine, ran on the fumes of that for awhile with Colt (who had to cope with shit-ass OLs) and a studly D, and the talent just kept dropping from there. 

His trajectory is why I think it's so funny that aggy thinks they caught a tiger by the tale in getting Jimbo. He left a smoking crater of Mack-like shit behind him in Tallahassee and Taggart will probably get canned before the Noles can get back on track, if they ever do. So whatever Mack's got planned for the Heels is pretty much what Jimbo is already uncorking in BCS: underperformance by a cynical old fart who is only in it for the cash. 

 

 

18 hours ago, Nope said:

 

And that's fair.

One last rant before I go: on pre-game to a radio broadcast of one Charlie's patented TCU disasters, Way (or somebody) interviewed the Foreman twins' OC at Texas City. The coach reminisced about their recruitment. Mack wanted Armanti first and foremost and viewed D'Onta as a borderline prospect. They were a package deal though, so Mack told D'Onta that if he came to Austin and ran a sub-4.6 40 he would sign him. So D'Onta came to Austin and busted out a 4.5 or so, but here's the deal: Mack was too fucking lazy to get off his ass in his office and witness the timing, or even to come down and say hi to D'Onta, and came a pookie-hair-width away from losing both Foreman twins because they were so incensed they had made this trip to Austin and D'Onta got treated like that. I mean, I know getting out of your chair and walking a few hundred yards, pressing the flesh for a few minutes, watching a dude run for 4.5 seconds, and then saying "Congrats, young man, you are now a Longhorn!" is hard fucking work, almost as bad as killing yourself in Florida trying to land recruits and failing at it badly. 

I forget how he, or more likely some member of his staff, patched that D'Onta deal up, but imagine the Horns Mack left behind to Charlie with not just that shit OL, not just one real QB (with concussion issues,) no viable back-up plan at QB, only a handful of upperclassmen on the D worthy of becoming NFL draft picks, but also without D'Onta Foreman?  

 

Some of the issues this team still has goes all the way back to his tenure. Thriving programs redshirt blue-chips. We haven't been able to do that for a decade or so, but look back at how many of the best players on the 2005 and 2009 teams redshirted. Everybody's just getting thrown right into the dumpster fire that Mack lit when he just fucking gave up on coaching at least ten years ago.

So yeah, to paraphrase my Lebanese uncle-in-law Elie, who has a way with cussin',  (imagine in Belushi "chee-burger" voice): "fuck Mack Brown fuck Mack Brown fuck Mack Brown five thousand times fuck Mack Brown!"

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MrBig

MrBig 5423

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3 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

I remember attending a few of those open practices. Mack would either be in his golf cart with Cleve or off to the sidelines slobbing some blue hair's knob and far removed from the action. Meanwhile guys like Roy Williams would loaf around. It was insane. 

Surprised Mack wasn’t putting his hands on the blue bloods and hugging up on them closely the same way he always was with Deloss or Powers. Strangely enough, Mack never seemed to touch Sally with a ten foot pole. 

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Sock Drawer

Sock Drawer 214

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26 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Indeed. I loved some of his stuff, other stuff infuriated me. If I’d known exactly how it was going to go in 1998 when we hired him, I’d still take it. I am glad he’s moved on though.

 

Both the above posts are on the mark. It's not either all black or all white.

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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5 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Yep, the staff that talked him into VY and then I'd bet it was also the staff that talked him into letting VY be VY and not fit in that jive GDGD system those two had cooked up. And who overreacted to the Simms-Applewhite Fan Feud by choosing to simply never have more than one viable QB on the squad at any one time, unless the back-up was a redshirt. And so he passed on several fucking Heisman-winning QBs (all douche-skillets, but only about half potential embarassments to the University) and whiffed on other great QBs because he'd given the keys to the program to Garrett Got-Dam Gilbert.

The 5 years that followed were the direct result of Mack's salting of the earth in the five years before he left. Strong was left with one viable QB and one above-average offensive lineman who was not a lean-sipper or pothead. Both that one QB and that above-average lineman went out for the season in (or immediately following) the first game of Strong's tenure. Had those two guys stayed on their feet, or had their been a little more depth on the roster at QB or OL, Texas wins at least eight or nine games that year, the recruiting is even better than it was, which was light-years ahead of the garbage Mack brought in for how many years before he was fired?

You can't just rebuild that kind of structural catastrophe in two or three years. He inherited a shit-ton of talent from Mackovic, brought in some more (especially while he had Tim Brewster as a wingman) for a few years, had to be first, seeing VY as a take, and second, allowing VY's talents to shine, ran on the fumes of that for awhile with Colt (who had to cope with shit-ass OLs) and a studly D, and the talent just kept dropping from there. 

His trajectory is why I think it's so funny that aggy thinks they caught a tiger by the tale in getting Jimbo. He left a smoking crater of Mack-like shit behind him in Tallahassee and Taggart will probably get canned before the Noles can get back on track, if they ever do. So whatever Mack's got planned for the Heels is pretty much what Jimbo is already uncorking in BCS: underperformance by a cynical old fart who is only in it for the cash. 

 

 

And that's fair.

One last rant before I go: on pre-game to a radio broadcast of one Charlie's patented TCU disasters, Way (or somebody) interviewed the Foreman twins' OC at Texas City. The coach reminisced about their recruitment. Mack wanted Armanti first and foremost and viewed D'Onta as a borderline prospect. They were a package deal though, so Mack told D'Onta that if he came to Austin and ran a sub-4.6 40 he would sign him. So D'Onta came to Austin and busted out a 4.5 or so, but here's the deal: Mack was too fucking lazy to get off his ass in his office and witness the timing, or even to come down and say hi to D'Onta, and came a pookie-hair-width away from losing both Foreman twins because they were so incensed they had made this trip to Austin and D'Onta got treated like that. I mean, I know getting out of your chair and walking a few hundred yards, pressing the flesh for a few minutes, watching a dude run for 4.5 seconds, and then saying "Congrats, young man, you are now a Longhorn!" is hard fucking work, almost as bad as killing yourself in Florida trying to land recruits and failing at it badly. 

I forget how he, or more likely some member of his staff, patched that D'Onta deal up, but imagine the Horns Mack left behind to Charlie with not just that shit OL, not just one real QB (with concussion issues,) no viable back-up plan at QB, only a handful of upperclassmen on the D worthy of becoming NFL draft picks, but also without D'Onta Foreman?  

 

Some of the issues this team still has goes all the way back to his tenure. Thriving programs redshirt blue-chips. We haven't been able to do that for a decade or so, but look back at how many of the best players on the 2005 and 2009 teams redshirted. Everybody's just getting thrown right into the dumpster fire that Mack lit when he just fucking gave up on coaching at least ten years ago.

So yeah, to paraphrase my Lebanese uncle-in-law Elie, who has a way with cussin',  (imagine in Belushi "chee-burger" voice): "fuck Mack Brown fuck Mack Brown fuck Mack Brown five thousand times fuck Mack Brown!"

You make some points.  But I think Charlie Strong's complete clueless dumbfuckery would always prevent him from winning 8-9 games in the Big 12.  He's as potato as potato gets.

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4409

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7 hours ago, 6th Street said:

Nice of him to come to this realization at age 70 while previously watching Greg Davis start Texas-OU with back to back bubble screens for losses.

It was worse than that. On 3rd and 14, he had a prototype 7-yard pass. Punt.

It was a moment of satori for me, and I never threw another beer bottle through my screen again.

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

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13 hours ago, 6th Street said:

Nice of him to come to this realization at age 70 while previously watching Greg Davis start Texas-OU with back to back bubble screens for losses.

2010, in a game we got down 14-0 in and ultimately lost 28-20. Maybe kinda wish we'd tried to do more with that first possession, instead of meekly testing if "what the defense will give us" was horizontal throws to the back out of a one-back, four-receiver set. But that's not the way these super smart football playcallers work. 

In fact if you go back and watch, it was the same goddamned play twice in a row, once to the left, once to the right. You can just imagine Davis sitting there in his office, grinning like a deaf person meeting new people in a noisy room, writing down those first two plays on his script and thinking, "first get 'em going to their right for 15, then trick 'em and come back to their left for 25! They'll never see this coming!"

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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8 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

You make some points.  But I think Charlie Strong's complete clueless dumbfuckery would always prevent him from winning 8-9 games in the Big 12.  He's as potato as potato gets.

That's as may be, but not even Lombardi could have won with what Mack left behind. Charlie left the program in a better place than it was when he got it: producing NFL talent and recruiting good players. It wasn't up to the level of early Mack but it was certainly an upgrade over late Mack. Some of the recruit freaks have kept track of the guys Mack was killing himself to bring to the 40 in his last year, and it was not a pretty sight. Charlie parachuted in and landed Poona Ford in his transition class. 

Again, imagine how bad things would have been if we didn't have that Poona-tration during Strong's tenure. If we were still relying on the unplugged refrigerator worth of rotten apples Mack left behind. There are times when I think Mack was paid to find a way to completely destroy the program for a decade, but that requires a tin foil hat and gives him too much credit. He is not a stupid man, but he is a stubborn, arrogant, lazy man, and that is more than adequate to explain what went wrong after 2009. 

It really is one of the most peculiar falls from grace I can think of in my 45 years of following sports. He totally did rebuild the program, at first with morale, and then via keeping up with and improving on Mackovic's recruiting, all of that culminating with the glory days of 2005-2009. Along the way there were the horrid fiascos in Dallas, the Purple Wizard's vampire bites, absolutely inexcusable losses to teams like NC State and Stanford, and then the bottom fell out. I am not sure who on his staff was most instrumental in the good times; maybe that would explain his success. Or maybe his decline is more about something going on with him: has he lost his mind? Is he hitting Sally's cookies or bottles of Jack too hard? It will always be a head-scratcher for me.  

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6th Street

6th Street 6434

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4 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

2010, in a game we got down 14-0 in and ultimately lost 28-20. Maybe kinda wish we'd tried to do more with that first possession, instead of meekly testing if "what the defense will give us" was horizontal throws to the back out of a one-back, four-receiver set. But that's not the way these super smart football playcallers work. 

In fact if you go back and watch, it was the same goddamned play twice in a row, once to the left, once to the right. You can just imagine Davis sitting there in his office, grinning like a deaf person meeting new people in a noisy room, writing down those first two plays on his script and thinking, "first get 'em going to their right for 15, then trick 'em and come back to their left for 25! They'll never see this coming!"

We actually had a chance to come back in the 4th quarter but Aaron Williams mishandled a punt, and Eddie Jones proceeded to bitch him out. 

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Guest Lobo

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1 hour ago, MrBig said:

spacer.png

“I can’t see you but can you see my ring?”

Mitch Hedberg: "Hey Mack you possess a great deal of lapel accessorization."  

Coach Brown: "What?"
 

Mitch Hedberg: "You got a lotta shit on your coat!"  

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Wally Pryor

Wally Pryor 5261

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On 6/25/2019 at 11:09 PM, Macanudo said:

The Mack Brown Dicksucking Apologist Club meets over at Hornfans. 

Some of you really need to have your heads examined.   Mack succeeded with a once in a lifetime QB (Vince) for his MNC then a tough as nails kid (Colt) and the recruits that bought his snake oil after the 2005 season.   Then he mailed it the fuck in for another 5 seasons.  

And any of you fuckers who want to say "Mack didnt beat OU enough and there were some bad losses".....  They were HISTORIC EMBARRASSMENTS. Throw in the 12-0 loss (also to OU) that ended the longest non-shutout streak in country and Mack Brown stole our fucking money.

"bad losses"?  Yeah.   Chernobyl was one helluva warehouse fire as well.  

The four Black Saturdays were the losses in the history of Texas football.   246-65.  62-16 per game.    And save the UCLA nonsense.    That game sucked, no doubt,  but no one gave a shit about some school from the west coast then and no gives a shit about them now.   OU is (supposed to be) your most bitter, hated rival.   A team you don't think twice about when pissing on their graves. And then stepping away and doing it again.  Yet, somehow, that clown Brown figured out a way to treat that game as a fucking picnic in the park on four different occasions.  Except that picnic thing quickly turned into scraping our players off the Cotton Bowl floor and the officials going into the stands looking for the next of kin.  

Jesus, I'm glad Brown is nowhere near campus or Austin anymore.  Can't say that enough.

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