Jump to content

News stories that remind you of Surly

Longboard Horn

By Longboard Horn
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

RPM
RPM
Armybrat
Armybrat
Parliament
Parliament

Posted Images

clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9000

Posted
Posted (edited)

Throw momma from the train down the drain

 

https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/conroe/news/article/Conroe-woman-facing-felony-charges-after-14066400.php

Conroe woman facing felony charges after allegedly flushing landlord's mother's remains down toilet

 

(Fitdump?)

920x920.jpg

 

A Conroe woman is facing state jail felony charges after she was arrested for allegedly flushing the remains of her landlord's late mother down the toilet.

Clarissa Bahamonde was arrested June 25 and charged with abuse of a corpse without legal authority. Court records show Bahamonde was reportedly renting out a bedroom in the victim's home, Joe Castleschouldt, at the time of the incident.

Castleschouldt was attempting to evict Bahamonde when she allegedly retaliated by repeatedly damaging and taking personal belongings from various parts of Castleshcouldt's home over a period of a few weeks, according to court records.

Bahamonde allegedly stole Castleshcouldt's mother's remains that were stored in a black urn in his bedroom and threatened to flush the remains down the toilet over the course of May 11-12, court records state.

Court records show Bahamonde told Castleshcouldt eventually admitted she flushed the remains down the toilet.

Castleshcouldt reportedly found a wet, nearly empty bag with a grey ashy substance inside it hidden behind Bahamonde's dresser before finding the same substance in a toilet bowl around the water line, court records show.

Court records state the bathroom was reportedly utilized by Bahamonde and is located next to the bedroom Castleshouldt let her utilize.

"At that moment, Castleshouldt realized the grey substance was his mother's cremated remains," court records state. "After finding traces of her remains, Castleshouldt also found the black urn that was used t0 store his mother's cremated remains, located in Bahamonde's bedroom."

The remains were identified as belonging to Sue Jacobs Castleschouldt, who died on September 13, 2018.

A warrant for Bahamonde's arrest was issued June 20 and she was arrested June 25 with a bond set at $6,000. During the search, Bahamond was found in possession of multiple items of identification and financial information not belonging to her. She was also charged with fraudulent possession of items of identifying information and received a $30,000 bond, court records show.

She is accused of possessing at least ten but no more than 50 items of identifying information belonging to Castleschouldt, court records show. She is due back in court July 18.

Edited by clapclapclap
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ignatius

Ignatius 4017

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Clarissa Bahamonde was arrested June 25 and charged with abuse of a corpse without legal authority.

Wait, wait, wait....it’s possible to obtain legal approval to abuse a corpse?

I gotta get a better lawyer....

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
RPM

RPM 26315

Posted
Posted

Man finds wife cheating, cuts off man's penis and takes it home

GILCHRIST COUNTY, Fla. — The Gilchrist County Sheriff's Office is investigating a burglary where the suspect allegedly broke into a man's house and cut off his penis because he caught him having sex with his wife.

Deputies said the incident occurred July 14 on NW 5th Street in Bell, Florida around 11 a.m. 

The victim told detectives that his neighbor, Alex Bonilla, 49, broke into his home, forced him into his bedroom at gunpoint, tied him up, and cut off his penis with a pair of scissors. This all happened with two children in the home, the sheriff's office said. 

The victim told deputies Bonilla then fled across the street to his house, still holding his severed penis. 

The Gilchrist County Sheriff's Office discovered that Bonilla caught the victim having sex with Bonilla's wife back in May.

Bonilla was arrested around 2:50 p.m. and transported to the Gilchrist County Jail. His bond is set at $1.25 million. 

The victim was transported to the hospital and is in stable condition. 

giphy.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25907

Posted
Posted

ENCINITAS, Calif. (CNS) - A lawsuit alleges that four women were sexually assaulted by therapists at four separate Massage Envy locations, including Encinitas, the plaintiffs' attorneys announced.

The suit, filed in San Mateo County Superior Court, accuses Massage Envy of negligently hiring and supervising five therapists accused by the plaintiffs, and ignoring the "known risk of assault they posed to customers" by allowing them to remain employed or transferring them to another franchise location.

The plaintiffs also allege that Massage Envy has a policy of concealing sexual assault reports, does not require that sexual assaults be reported to law enforcement or state massage therapy boards, and did nothing more than internally investigate each reported incident.

Massage Envy declined to comment on the lawsuit, but said the Scottsdale, Arizona-based company adheres to established safety and best practice policies regarding sexual assault.

"We cannot comment on pending litigation, but we believe we have established best-in-class practices to address the types of issues alleged in this lawsuit, with the help of the Massage Envy Safety Advisory Council -- made up of leading experts -- and our work with RAINN, the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the U.S," the statement reads. "These and other concrete actions underscore our commitment to promoting a safe environment for members, guests and service providers at each of our nearly 1,200 franchise locations, and we will never stop working to have industry-leading safety policies."

The lawsuit alleges the sexual assaults occurred at Massage Envy locations in Encinitas, as well as Corona in Riverside County, Daly City, near San Francisco, and Cotati, a community in Sonoma County.

In the Encinitas case, a therapist allegedly ejaculated onto the victim as she lay undressed on a massage table, according to the complaint. The suit alleges that the customer contacted the manager, who apologized to her and offered her a free massage.

"Employees who went to management were told not to complain, which sent a message to those speaking up that such conduct was acceptable," plaintiffs' attorney Elizabeth Graham alleged. "In at least one instance, male therapists shamed women clients, claiming they obviously wanted sex by seeking a massage, even though massage treatments are standard at virtually every spa and nail salon in the country. The misconduct itself is disturbing enough at franchise locations, but compounded by the parent company's lack of reporting and rooting out of the abusers -- not unlike the wider sex abuse scandals we've seen at the U.S. Gymnastics Association or even the Catholic Church.

"It's unconscionable that such brazen client abuse would take place in just one Massage Envy franchise -- let alone multiple locations across California," Graham said. "This is a by-product of a toxic work culture, where abuse persisted and was tolerated even after the problem was well recognized within the company, and yet customer complaints went smothered and unreported."

The lawsuit was announced the same day that Orange County prosecutors filed criminal charges against a massage therapist charged with sexually assaulting two women during massage treatments at a Massage Envy location in Mission Viejo. Russell Bernardino, who is also a licensed home health care provider, was additionally charged with raping a 77-year-old woman while serving as her caregiver at her home in an Orange County retirement community.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

Posted
Posted

Lace Shorts Are Here for Men This Summer
BY CHARLOTTE PUCKERING

LaceShorts.jpg

 

Quote

It's our favorite time of the year - the nights are getting lighter, the weather is getting warmer, and the short shorts are most certainly coming out.

With summer well and truly on the horizon, the fashion world is hastily delivering its season's goods. Whether it be dresses, skirts, or tank tops, the big clothing brands are all pumping out the summer essentials. And one company has taken a summer garment to a whole new level of extreme.

We all know that fashion in 2019 has virtually no rules; we are in an era in which we can dress and express ourselves however we please. But this still doesn't explain the new fad... men's lace shorts. See-through lace shorts, might I add.

You can't make this stuff up.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
ScottS

ScottS 1061

Posted
Posted

FIBA Suspends former Ohio University basketball player 2 years after urine sample reveals he is pregnant

 

Quote

D.J. Cooper stepped away from AS Monaco late in 2018 for “family reasons,” though he attempted to join the Bosnian national team as a naturalized player later that year.

The former Ohio University standout never made it, however, and was instead handed a two-year suspension from FIBA for failing a drug test. But it wasn’t performance enhancing drugs, recreational drugs or any of the other usual suspects that thwarted Cooper.

His drug test, according to Eurohoops.net, revealed that he was pregnant.

The test on the urine that Cooper provided revealed the presence of human chorionic gonadotropin, or hCG, which is a hormone made by the placenta during pregnancy. That urine, per the report, actually belonged to his girlfriend — who likely didn’t know she was pregnant at the time.

So, FIBA suspended Cooper for fraud. He’s eligible to return on June 20, 2020.

Cooper played for the Bobcats from 2009-2013, starting in nearly every game in his collegiate career while averaging 14.5 points, 6.5 assists and 4.3 rebounds per contest. After going undrafted, the guard took his talents to Europe. He played two seasons in the Greek League, for both Panathinaikos and AEK Athens, and then three in the French league with three different teams.

He averaged 6.7 points and 7.2 assists over 26 games in his last season with Monaco in 2017-18.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Classic Rock

Classic Rock 274

Posted
Posted

https://nypost.com/2018/05/02/jurors-sick-of-hearing-about-prison-guards-huge-stinky-penis/

 

And this year’s follow up on the case

 

https://nypost.com/2019/07/31/horse-penis-guard-gets-25-years-in-prison-for-sexually-abusing-inmates/?utm_source=facebook_sitebuttons&utm_medium=site+buttons&utm_campaign=site+buttons&fbclid=IwAR1JEYD26axZ_bITwzzXQ8wEZrqPqdQxtTAMir575xBXc4agalNxIRgu70w

Link to comment
Share on other sites
DallasHorn26

DallasHorn26 586

Posted
Posted

Who stopped at Hobby Lobby on the way to Hutchins?

https://www.fox4news.com/news/mckinney-pd-searching-for-man-accused-of-taking-pictures-up-womans-skirt

Quote

MCKINNEY, Texas - McKinney police are looking for a man accused of shooting pictures or video up a young woman's skirt.

The incident happened at the Hobby Lobby on West University Drive in McKinney Saturday afternoon.

A woman told police a man put a phone under her 20-year-old daughter's skirt. When they confronted him, he ran away and sped off in a vehicle that was also recorded on surveillance video

 

Police describe the suspect as a man between 50 and 65 years old, 5'7" to 5'9", has a stocky build, is balding, has red stubbly facial hair, and glasses. He was last seen wearing a black T-shirt, khaki shorts, black athletic shoes, and black ankle socks.

The vehicle is a dark Acura 4-door with a sunroof, possibly a 2004-2008 model.

Anyone with information is asked to contact McKinney Police Det. Rimpel at 972-547-281.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
RPM

RPM 26315

Posted
Posted

In a related story, boxes of hookers were found at Kroger.

More than $1 million in cocaine was found hidden in boxes of bananas at three grocery stores

(CNN)Authorities are trying to figure out how bricks of cocaine worth more than $1 million wound up in banana shipments delivered to three grocery stores in Washington state.

The drugs were found Sunday at Safeway stores in Woodinville, Bellingham and Federal Way.
Produce workers at the Woodinville store were putting the bananas out on the sales floor when they saw something strange, said Sgt. Ryan Abbott with the King County Sheriff's Office.


"One of the boxes had brown paper in it, which caught their attention and then they looked further and found these bricks," Abbott said. "They called the police and we went out there and it ended up being 22 kilos of cocaine with a street value of $550,000."


Last year Texas authorities discovered $18 million worth of cocaine hidden in bananas that had been donated to the Texas Department of Corrections.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
ScottS

ScottS 1061

Posted
Posted

This seems like something a few people on this board would do when being laid off.

Auckland man hires professional clown for redundancy meeting

 

Quote

A Kiwi adman has chosen an unusual support person to accompany him to a redundancy meeting.

In lieu of the usual suspects of a friend, colleague or family member, the member of the creative team at FCB hired a professional clown to attend the meeting with him.

An image sent to the Herald overnight shows the staffer, sitting alongside his support clown while he talks to the individuals running the meeting.

In the strange world of support creatures, this adds another colourful addition to a quirky crew that already includes hedgehogs, peacocks and goats.

 

The Herald understands that the clown blew up balloons and folded them into a series of animals throughout the meeting.

It's further understood that the clown mimed crying when the redundancy paperwork was handed over to the staffer.

 
The image sent into the Herald shows the meeting taking place. The face of the staffer has been blurred to protect his identity. Photo / SuppliedThe image sent into the Herald shows the meeting taking place. The face of the staffer has been blurred to protect his identity. Photo / Supplied

A spokesperson for FCB told the Herald the agency has a policy of not commenting on individual employment matters out of respect for those involved.

In an email title "Coulrophobia" (the fear of clowns), the spokesperson did, however, say it was up there among the weirdest stories she had ever been contacted about.

The latest restructure at FCB follows on from job cuts at the agency after the loss of the Vodafone ad account.

It's understood the staffer has, however, landed on his feet since his odd meeting at FCB, getting a new job at DDB along with his creative partner (not the clown). They are set to start their roles next week, upon returning from their birth country Australia.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...