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Longboard Horn

By Longboard Horn
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dingleberryswitzer

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9 hours ago, nnm said:

https://abcnews.go.com/amp/International/galapagos-giant-tortoise-sex-retires-saving-species/story?id=68231846

Galapagos giant tortoise has so much sex he retires after saving his species
By Julia JacoboJan 12, 2020, 4:51 PM ET

Then he was awarded the  "South Austins Mom " award for fuckery .

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200114150909-snowflake-arizona-purple-sk

The light from a medical marijuana farm filled the sky over Snowflake, Arizona, with a strange, purple glow on a recent foggy morning.

Cara Smith took a picture of the scene about 6:30 a.m. Friday on her way to work at Copperstate Farms, the largest medical marijuana wholesaler in the state.

Copperstate Farms has 40 acres of greenhouses -- about the size of 30 football fields -- that use a combination of red and blue lights at night to help its plants grow, according to a company spokeswoman.

The lights look purple from a distance, but it's normally nothing like this.

Water droplets in the low-lying fog reflected the light, which made it spread across the sky.

The farm has 70 strains of cannabis in production and another 40 in development and has been growing crops since 2017.

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Armybrat

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11 hours ago, RPM said:

200114150909-snowflake-arizona-purple-sk

The light from a medical marijuana farm filled the sky over Snowflake, Arizona, with a strange, purple glow on a recent foggy morning.

Cara Smith took a picture of the scene about 6:30 a.m. Friday on her way to work at Copperstate Farms, the largest medical marijuana wholesaler in the state.

Copperstate Farms has 40 acres of greenhouses -- about the size of 30 football fields -- that use a combination of red and blue lights at night to help its plants grow, according to a company spokeswoman.

The lights look purple from a distance, but it's normally nothing like this.

Water droplets in the low-lying fog reflected the light, which made it spread across the sky.

The farm has 70 strains of cannabis in production and another 40 in development and has been growing crops since 2017.

Town name checks out.

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Man arrested for defecating in front of Phenix City golf pro shop

PHENIX CITY, Ala. (WRBL) – Phenix City Police are thanking the community for their help in locating a man who was caught on video pooping in public at a local golf course after hours.

“On January 14, 2020 the Phenix City Police Department Patrol Division arrested Garth Allen Brown on outstanding warrants for Trespassing 3rd degree and Public Lewdness. Brown was caught on video surveillance at Lakewood Golf Course on January 4, 2020 at 9:30 PM after the golf course had closed defecating next to the entrance to the pro shop,” said Lt. Skip Lassiter Jr.

The Phenix City Police Department would like to thank the public for their overwhelming response in helping to identify Brown as the offender.

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Walden Ponderer

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Komodo dragon destroyed BBC camera by trying to have sex with it

Quote

A komodo dragon destroyed cameras trying to film for a BBC wildlife show after trying to have sex with one of them.

State-of-the-art equipment was hidden inside both a lifesize imitation of a female komodo dragon and a fake pig placed amid a pack of the giant lizards during filming for new series Spy in the Wild 2, narrated by David Tennant.

According to The Sun newspaper, executive producer John Downer revealed the male dragons began trying to mate with the imitation lizard and became increasingly frustrated when the model did not respond – so they took their frustration out on the fake pig containing the recording equipment.

According to The Sun newspaper, executive producer John Downer revealed the male dragons began trying to mate with the imitation lizard and became increasingly frustrated when the model did not respond – so they took their frustration out on the fake pig containing the recording equipment.

He said: “With its massive claws this dragon starts raking at the skin of the ‘female’, and there’s nothing you can do because you can't intervene. You just hope it will realise there’s something not right and it will stop.

"But then this pig, with all our equipment in it, was in the wrong place at the wrong time and they just annihilated it.

Read more: Faking wildlife scenes not uncommon in BBC documentaries

“It was breeding season and they’d been riled up by fighting over this female and testosterone gets the worst of us. They were like dinosaurs, it was just unbelievable, it was totally smashed to pieces.”

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nnm

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1 hour ago, retsevlys said:

Man arrested for defecating in front of Phenix City golf pro shop

PHENIX CITY, Ala. (WRBL) – Phenix City Police are thanking the community for their help in locating a man who was caught on video pooping in public at a local golf course after hours.

“On January 14, 2020 the Phenix City Police Department Patrol Division arrested Garth Allen Brown on outstanding warrants for Trespassing 3rd degree and Public Lewdness. Brown was caught on video surveillance at Lakewood Golf Course on January 4, 2020 at 9:30 PM after the golf course had closed defecating next to the entrance to the pro shop,” said Lt. Skip Lassiter Jr.

The Phenix City Police Department would like to thank the public for their overwhelming response in helping to identify Brown as the offender.

Wonder if this guy spends any time in Norway.

https://nypost.com/2015/07/28/a-mystery-man-has-been-pooping-in-golf-holes-for-a-decade/

Mystery pooper has tortured golf course for a decade

July 28, 2015 | 2:48am

Hole-in-one? No. 2 in the hole is more like it.

For the past decade, a Norwegian golf course has been dealing with a serial pooper — who decides to leave dirty toilet paper and feces at the bottom of holes.

UPI reported Stavanger Golf Club, a scenic waterside course in Hafrsfjord, claims they have been finding poop in the course’s cups since 2005.

And the worst part is they have no clue who’s been doing it.

“He has a couple favorite holes,” groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord told the Rogaland Avis newspaper. “And we know it is a man because the poos are too massive to be from a woman.”

Tennfjord said the mysterious pooper only lays his tracks on weekdays. The club has tried catching the culprit by installing high-powered lights, but to no avail.

“He climbed up a tree next to the lights and wriggled far out on a branch and dismantled the spotlights,” Tennfjord said. “How he managed the feat without electrocuting himself or falling is a riddle.”

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ABSR

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47 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Deaf Man Sues Pornhub for Lack of Closed Captioning in Videos

https://movieweb.com/pornhub-sued-deaf-man-closed-captioning/

 

Next, a blind man will sue Pornhub because he can't see shit.

""Hot Step Aunt Babysits Disobedient Nephew," "Sexy Cop Gets Witness to Talk," and "Daddy 4K -- Allison comes to Talk About Money to Her Boys' Naughty Father," are all videos that Suris wanted to watch but couldn't s understand the plot because there was no closed captioning service."

If he can't understand/follow "the plot" based on these titles alone he is really too stupid to understand it even with sub-titles.

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Cheeseweasel

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4 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/minnesota-tsa-agent-snapped-native-american-woman-s-braids-said-n1117726?cid=sm_npd_nn_tw_ma

Minnesota TSA agent snapped Native American woman's braids, said 'giddyup!'

"My braids are not reins, I should be treated with dignity, as should everyone else," Tara Houska wrote on Twitter.

 

Did she giddyup?

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1 hour ago, ABSR said:

""Hot Step Aunt Babysits Disobedient Nephew," "Sexy Cop Gets Witness to Talk," and "Daddy 4K -- Allison comes to Talk About Money to Her Boys' Naughty Father," are all videos that Suris wanted to watch but couldn't s understand the plot because there was no closed captioning service."

If he can't understand/follow "the plot" based on these titles alone he is really too stupid to understand it even with sub-titles.


he’s going to win. 
 

Good job of the lawyer finding this guy

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Beau Vine

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Blount County Sheriff's Office
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MARYVILLE, Tenn. — A Tennessee man was jailed on felony charges after appearing to dip his testicles into a container of salsa that a customer had ordered online.

The delivery driver allegedly recorded it and posted a video online, saying "This is what you get when you give an 89 cents tip for an almost 30-minute drive."

News outlets report that the passenger, 31-year-old Howard Matthew Webb, was arrested last week and charged with adulteration of food.

Dinner Delivered said the food service has fired the driver and forwarded information about her to authorities as well.

Webb remains behind bars pending a March 12 hearing.

His arrest warrant says they picked up the food for delivery from a local Mexican restaurant. The company issued a refund for the tainted food.

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Spider bites Australian man on penis again

The man was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Tuesday, when he suffered a repeat of the incident five months ago.

Jordan, who preferred not to reveal his surname, said he was bitten on “pretty much the same spot” by the spider.

“I’m the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment,” he told the BBC.

“I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.

“I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”

 

Did not know Australia had Stoops spiders.

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Surlymermaid

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Spider bites Australian man on penis again
The man was using a portable toilet on a Sydney building site on Tuesday, when he suffered a repeat of the incident five months ago.
Jordan, who preferred not to reveal his surname, said he was bitten on “pretty much the same spot” by the spider.
“I’m the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment,” he told the BBC.
“I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.
“I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”
 
Did not know Australia had Stoops spiders.

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Wheels stolen off Corvette Stingray test vehicle in Detroit

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A 2020 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray was found on cinder blocks earlier this week after having its wheels stolen in Detroit, officials say.

The not-yet-released Stingray that's capable of hitting 194 mph was found in the West Village neighborhood, about three miles from the GM headquarters in downtown Detroit. 

A Chevy spokesman said it was an engineering test vehicle and the company has filed a police report. Detroit police confirmed the incident but did not have further details.

The car hasn't even hit production. It's expected to begin in February at the General Motors Bowling Green Assembly Plant in Kentucky.

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Walden Ponderer

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First reported case of Coronavirus in Northern Ireland turns out to be a hangover

january 29, 2020 by dundonaldliberationarmy, posted in dla news
 

Quote

The first reported case of the Coronavirus in Northern Ireland has been exposed as nothing more than a common hangover by the alleged victim’s wife.

Joe McMelter (31) was placed in a special isolation unit in the Ulster Hospital yesterday after claiming he’d been struck down by the deadly virus.

However, these claims have been dismissed by his wife Helen, who revealed that Joe spent the weekend drinking Mexican beers with his mates.

‘F**k all wrong with the c**t’, she explained.

‘What do you expect to feel like when you spend a whole weekend drinking?’.

‘Well, I hope he enjoyed himself coz that’ll be the last beer he’ll have near his gub for a while. He’s a living room to paint and that back hall needs papered’, she revealed.

Speaking from his bed in the Specialist Drama Unit, Joe was convinced his condition was attributed to something more sinister.

‘Listen, I’ve had my share of hangovers in the past and this is something else. Swine Flu, Ebola, something like that. F**k all to do with those delicious Mexican beers with the wee slice of lime in them’.

However, Dr Steph O’Scope who’s been treating Joe wasn’t convinced.

‘Fulla sh*te’, was her professional opinion.

‘Anyone intending to ingest large quantities of imported Mexican beers is at great risk of contracting the same ‘deadly virus’ as Joe here’.

‘His symptoms included: singing Neil Diamond songs; a compulsion to talk pure sh*te and a severe allergic reaction to attending work the next day’.

Dr Steph O’Scope said there are some radical new treatments which may help anyone in Joe’s condition.

‘We would recommend administering large doses of milkman’s orange and sausage meat wrapped in puff pastry to anyone contaminated by the virus’.

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clapclapclap

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https://nypost.com/2020/01/31/cyclist-sets-off-firestorm-with-crude-comment-on-reporters-outfit/

Bike(notso)phag sets off firestorm with crude comment on reporter’s outfit

reporter.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&

Spoiler

 

By Etienne Fermie, The Sun

January 31, 2020 | 4:14pm

Belgian journalist and former pro cyclist Sven Spoormakers posted a screengrab on Twitter that has caused outrage on social media after making a crude comment referring to a young female reporter covering the Vuelta a San Juan.

Spoormakers made reference to the reporter’s low cut top after taking a screenshot of her interviewing one of the riders for television, asking in Dutch: “Is it cool in Argentina?”

And it lead to numerous fans and pundits condemning him for allegedly sexually objectifying the young reporter.

Australian journalist Sophie Smith challenged Spoormakers on his remark, writing: “Seriously? Please tell me this is lost in translation and you did not just publicly objectify a young female reporter.

“Speaking from experience, let me say she does the exact same job as you but has to work and withstand twice as much still because of bulls–t like this.”

Spoormakers then responded: “Objectify, really? Come on. Don’t draw the feminist card on this one. She knows exactly what she’s wearing – or not wearing – and why.

“If I would interview a female athlete with my balls out, you’d be joking about it too. Or calling it a disgrace.”

Smith then incredulously hit back: “So it’s her fault because you can’t stop looking at her boobs? What’s she meant to do, wear a potato sack so you don’t get excited? If I take a picture of you at work, post it and comment on how small your d–k looks in a pair of shorts would you be alright with that?”

British reporter Ned Boulting then weighed in to lend his support, quoting one of Smith’s tweets and writing: “Over and over and over again, my female colleagues have to defend themselves from institutional disrespect. I take your voice, Sophie, and I add mine.”

Spoormakers’ tweets were also latched upon by frustrated fans, with one writing: “Mate, she’s wearing a top. That’s it. What’s the problem? Jesus Christ you’re a dinosaur.”

 

 

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Brothahorn

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https://www.mic.com/p/fake-google-maps-traffic-jam-created-by-german-artist-with-99-smartphones-21770302

Whether you're a walker, driver, biker, or rely on public transportation, Google Maps can not only help you figure out how to get somewhere, but how long it'll take. What if those estimates were completely wrong, though? In Germany, one artist says he made fake traffic jams on Google Maps through a surprisingly simple method.

Berlin-based Simon Weckert's art focuses on the digital world. Through his work, Weckert aims to "assess the value of technology, not in terms of actual utility, but from the perspective of future generations."

For his latest project, Weckert loaded 99 rented Android phones into a red wagon. By opening each phone to Google Maps and walking the streets of Berlin, Weckert created fake traffic jams. Thick red lines popped up on Google Maps even though there weren't really any cars on the road at all. In other words, Weckert hacked Google.

"99 smartphones are transported in a handcart to generate virtual traffic jam in Google Maps," Weckert tweeted. "Through this activity, it is possible to turn a green street red which has an impact in the physical world by navigating cars on another route!"

 

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