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Longboard Horn

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nnm

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https://www.livescience.com/amp/first-dinosaur-butthole-found.html

1st preserved dinosaur butthole is 'perfect' and 'unique,' paleontologist says

By Laura Geggel

First Published 15 hours ago

This was a multipurpose hole.

AiicZtdo6saUAmHhdQngZX-1200-80.jpg
This drawing shows how the dinosaur Psittacosaurus may have used its cloacal vent (aka butthole) for signaling during courtship. (Image credit: Bob Nicholls/Paleocreations.com 2020)

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

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https://www.vice.com/en/article/4ad5xp/we-spoke-to-a-guy-who-got-his-dick-locked-in-a-cage-by-a-hacker?utm_source

Quote

 

Sam Summers was sitting at home with his penis wrapped in an internet-connected chastity cage when he got a weird message on the app that connects to the device. Someone told him they had taken control and they wanted around $1,000 in Bitcoin to give control back to Summers. 

 

"Initially, I thought it was my partner doing that," Summers told Motherboard in a phone call. "It sounds silly, but I got a bit excited by it." 

 

But when Summers called his partner, she told him it wasn't her, even after he told her their safe word. That's when he realized he had gotten hacked. His penis was locked in the cage, and he had no way out.

 

"Oh, shit, it's real," Summers said. "I started looking at the thing. There's no manual override at all. It's a chastity belt, I guess it kind of shouldn't [have an override.] But when it's a digital thing like that, it should have a key or something. But it obviously didn't."

 

"I don't have a scar or anything but I was bleeding and it fucking hurt."

 

"I started freaking out a bit," he added. "I was just panicking at this point."

 

Summers is one of several people who purchased a chastity cage device called Cellmate and produced by Qiui, a China-based manufacturer. Some of the device's owners got their accounts—and thus their devices as well—hacked at the end of last year, after security researchers warned that the manufacturer left an exposed and vulnerable API, which could allow hackers to take control of the devices.  

 

Scared and a bit desperate, Summers realized he had some Bitcoin stashed in an old account. So he sent the hacker what they wanted, hoping that would be it. But when the hacker got the money, they asked for more, according to Summers.

 

"That's when I felt fucking stupid and angry," Summers said. 

 

At that point, Summers and his partner started brainstorming ways to get his penis out of the cage. At home, they only had a hammer, so they went out and bought a pair of bolt cutters. His partner tried first, but she couldn't break through. So Summers had to do it himself. The way he was holding his penis put it "in a dangerous spot," he said, so it was "very scary." 

 

Nonetheless, he was able to break the cage, but the cutters still cut through him, he said. 

 

"I don't have a scar or anything but I was bleeding and it fucking hurt," Summers said. 

 

Because of the cut, Summers and his partner were not able to have sex for over a month, according to him. This incident also made Summers reconsider using internet-connected devices, especially those that go around his most private parts.

 

"If you're into it, that's fine, because you're into what you're into," he told me. "But use a lock, a physical lock in case. These digital things, you cannot trust them."

 

After he got out of the Cellmate, he threw it away and deleted the app. The whole experience did not leave him a physical scar, but definitely traumatized him. While this was obviously not the same as a physical assault or harassment, it was a bit like that. 

 

"A stranger coming into that world that's supposed to be just you and you and your partner, or you and someone else," Summers said. "And they are there without your consent. They're doing that to you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

 

Why? Why, why the fuck would you put your dick in something like that?  And then not have any type of back up in case of emergency. 

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nnm

nnm 37521

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Posted

Not from a news story, but from my "word of the day" email.  Definitely made me think of Surly.

 

Annalist
audio_V2.gif AN-ə-ləst
Part of speech: noun
Origin: Unknown, 17th century
462c5e12afc156d989894fd783bca518
 
1
A person who writes annals.
 
 
 
Examples of Annalist in a sentence
 
"Our community's history has been preserved through written records maintained by annalists."
 
"Timothy decided to combine his love of baseball and history and become a sports annalist."
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clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9000

Posted
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On 1/20/2021 at 8:54 PM, Parliament said:

Defeated?

An Ohio graduate student was killed in a freak accident when her head got crushed between her car door and a toll booth in a parking garage, according to a report.

https://nypost.com/2021/01/20/ohio-state-student-killed-in-freak-parking-garage-accident/
 

 

victoria-strauss-ohio-student.jpg?qualit

Wow, what a shame, she was hot.

Also:

Strauss dropped her credit card while trying to pay for parking via a machine, then accidentally stepped on the gas while leaning outside of the car to get it, according to video footage cited by the paper.

The car lurched forward, causing her to become wedged between the vehicle and the toll booth.

 

All gas, neck breaks.

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RPM

RPM 26484

Posted
Posted

Michigan man killed after cannon used at baby shower explodes

A 26-year-old Michigan man was killed in an explosion that occurred during a baby shower, according to Gaines Township authorities.

A small cannon device that was fired in the backyard of a home by the homeowner blew up, spraying metal shrapnel that struck an unidentified Hartland man who was standing nearby. The man was taken in serious condition to Hurley Medical Center in Flint, where he later died.

Three parked cars and the garage where the baby shower was being held were also struck by shrapnel.

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ztejas

ztejas 44101

Posted
Posted
On 2/5/2021 at 8:04 PM, clapclapclap said:

student was killed in a freak accident when her head got crushed between her car door and a toll booth in a parking garage, according to a report.

Huh?

On 2/5/2021 at 8:04 PM, clapclapclap said:

Strauss dropped her credit card while trying to pay for parking via a machine, then accidentally stepped on the gas while leaning outside of the car to get it, according to video footage cited by the paper.

I'm... still confused. 

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

Posted
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Quote

 

Quarantine has led to a few bottles of red getting uncorked at Morningside Assisted Living in Lancaster.

 

“One day I walked down the hall and said ‘what are you men up to?’ and then they invited me into the bar and it’s gone from there,” says Renae Creasey, a registered nurse and the administrator at Morningside Assisted Living.

 

Residents Ron Kjos, Dennis Stluka, Richard Hoffman and Alvin Rolland decided that since they can’t go out, the bar would have to come to them.

 

“It all started when one lady walked out of her room and said, would you gentlemen like this bottle of wine?” says Creasey.

 

A couple afternoons each week, The Corner Bar opens up for business.

 

“We used to have a corner bar in Potosi down here. We said something about putting a sign up and I said we could call it the Corner Bar,” says resident and wine connoisseur, Ron Kjos.

 

While they are the only four men in the facility, others are welcome to join, so long as they bring a bottle. “Oh there’s a couple of good lookin’ women who get in on it every once and a while,” says Kjos.

 

“We have a lot of fun. They tell a lot of good jokes, they reminisce, and they tell a lot of good, fun stories,” says Creasey.

 

Everyone has a role to play at The Corner Bar. Dennis Stluka isn’t a drinking man himself, but enjoys “bartending.”

 

“I kind of roll around in the wheel chair and serve the drinks for them,” says Stluka.

 

“We have one staff labeled as the bouncer in case things get too rowdy. I always remind the boys that the Grant County Sheriff’s Office is right down the road, so don’t make me call them!” says Creasey.

 

4UVECKMDAZCMZO753D676ZZJJI.jpg

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ABSR

ABSR 5349

Posted
Posted
On 2/8/2021 at 10:37 AM, ztejas said:

I'm... still confused. 

She pulls up to a toll booth which is a large metal and concrete box.  She drops credit card out the window and onto the ground.  She has car in drive and foot on the brake.  She opens her door and leans out to get the card.   Foot comes off brake and car goes forward.  Her head gets placed between toll booth and her car into a space large enough for only half of her head.   Large metal and concrete objects do not give, but her head does.

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RPM

RPM 26484

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Posted
17 minutes ago, ABSR said:

She pulls up to a toll booth which is a large metal and concrete box.  She drops credit card out the window and onto the ground.  She has car in drive and foot on the brake.  She opens her door and leans out to get the card.   Foot comes off brake and car goes forward.  Her head gets placed between toll booth and her car into a space large enough for only half of her head.   Large metal and concrete objects do not give, but her head does.

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration failed her.

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ztejas

ztejas 44101

Posted
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33 minutes ago, ABSR said:

She pulls up to a toll booth which is a large metal and concrete box.  She drops credit card out the window and onto the ground.  She has car in drive and foot on the brake.  She opens her door and leans out to get the card.   Foot comes off brake and car goes forward.  Her head gets placed between toll booth and her car into a space large enough for only half of her head.   Large metal and concrete objects do not give, but her head does.

Thanks, smartass. Do me a favor: go sit in your car in the driver's seat, open your door, and see if you can get your head around the side of the door - keeping your foot on the pedals. Unless she was fucking elastagirl I'm having a hard time picturing what exactly happened.

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thunderlounge

thunderlounge 8198

Posted
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On 2/8/2021 at 10:03 AM, RPM said:

I look at it like late stage Darwin. They've already reproduced, now they're getting punished for it.


Knew a guy (friends nephew) that was off in methlahoma a few years ago, without his sister or any other relative in sight. (This wouldn’t have happened otherwise, since you know, oklahoma and all.)

Ol boy decides to imitate Billy BadAss, and proceeded to put one shel launch tube upon his head, then lit the fuse.

This is where things went south since he put the shell in upside down.

He hadn’t reproduced yet (thankfully) and never will. Dead as a doornail. 

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RPM

RPM 26484

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Posted
1 minute ago, thunderlounge said:


Knew a guy (friends nephew) that was off in methlahoma a few years ago, without his sister or any other relative in sight. (This wouldn’t have happened otherwise, since you know, oklahoma and all.)

Ol boy decides to imitate Billy BadAss, and proceeded to put one shel launch tube upon his head, then lit the fuse.

This is where things went south since he put the shell in upside down.

He hadn’t reproduced yet (thankfully) and never will. Dead as a doornail. 

Oops/Rick Perry

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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 35274

Posted
Posted
On 1/29/2021 at 9:45 PM, Brothahorn said:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/4ad5xp/we-spoke-to-a-guy-who-got-his-dick-locked-in-a-cage-by-a-hacker?utm_source

Why? Why, why the fuck would you put your dick in something like that?  And then not have any type of back up in case of emergency. 

“Don’t put your dick in anything that’s not part of a human who wants you to do it” is an adage that has served me well.

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Bama Llama

Bama Llama 1505

Posted
Posted

This thread could be captioned Darwin Awards Tryout Qualifying although on further review, the Ex-Buckeye Hot Grad Student should actually win a Darwin.

I wager she did not accelerate to her rendezvous with destiny.  Her foot simply came off the brake pedal and the vehicle idled forward until crunch time.

Such an impatient world we live in.  Jesus, put the car in park, turn off the motor, wiggle that slender ass out a window or hop out the other door and retrieve the credit card.  C'est dommage.

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