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Blotto

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On 7/18/2021 at 12:56 PM, Beau Vine said:

https://www.wral.com/manager-at-rocky-mount-s-ichiban-on-leave-after-recording-onlyfans-video-inside-restaurant/19776189/

 

https://www.instagram.com/chrissyamber1122/?hl=en

Uh yes, we're ready to order. we would like some bananas, perhaps some cucumbers, and if you have any sausage laying around back there, throw some of that in as well. No, no sushi for us this afternoon. 

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On 7/24/2021 at 11:29 AM, nnm said:

And linked in that story is yet another one that’s spot-on with the Surly crowd. Wonder what his Surly handle was?

Hospital worker dies from heart attack while watching porn

A hospital worker was found dead in The Bronx — with his laptop open and porn playing on it — after suffering a fatal heart attack while apparently masturbating, police sources said.

A colleague found the 48-year-old man on Tuesday morning at North Central Bronx Hospital.

He was naked and appeared to be pleasuring himself at the time of his death, the sources said.

Bronx Homicide was investigating, but said no foul play was suspected.

https://nypost.com/2016/06/08/hospital-worker-dies-from-heart-attack-while-watching-porn/

shocked jump GIF by theCHIVE

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cactusflinthead

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So the Park Service started installing armored garbage cans that were tricky to open -- you had to swing a latch, align two bits of handle, that sort of thing. But it turns out it's actually quite tricky to get the design of these cans just right. Make it too complex and people can't get them open to put away their garbage in the first place. Said one park ranger, "There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."

https://www.kcet.org/redefine/new-study-will-track-bears-in-yosemite-high-country

i wonder what X years of studying stupid humans and smart bears taught them.

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nnm

nnm 37903

Posted
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5 hours ago, Parliament said:

httpslawa_20210728_081430.jpg

This is a multi-national problem. 
https://norwaytoday.info/news/serial-pooper-finally-stopped-defecating-in-norwegian-golf-clubs-holes/

Serial pooper finally stopped defecating in Norwegian golf club’s holes

POSTED BY: LARA RASIN 17. DECEMBER 2020

Maybe you’ve heard about the golf club in Norway that had a long-standing problem with fecal graffiti.

Now, the Stavanger Golf Club is finally taking a load off.

For over a decade after 2005, a mystery pooper regularly left number 2s where others made holes in 1.

What we know about the crap controversy

News site Rogaland Avis interviewed then-Stavanger Golf Club groundskeepers Kenneth Tennfjord and Frode Jormeland, and managing director Steinar Floisvik. The employees offered insights into the issue, which UPI also covered in detail.

Here’s what we know from the accounts:

The pooper’s motive was unknown. “Our idea is that it could be someone who, for unknown reasons, hates the game of golf. Alternatively, the person may have a fetish or suffer from mental problems.”

The pooper was likely a man, “”because the poos are too massive to be from a woman.”

The pooper didn’t defecate everywhere. Rather, he had “a couple of favorite holes.”

The pooper didn’t visit on the weekends. “He poos only on weekdays.”

The pooper cycled, then got the runs. “In the early morning dew we observed bicycle tracks on the course. Footsteps showed that he had done his business, and the bicycle tracks disappeared back the way they came.”

The pooper evaded the club’s initial attempts to stop them. They included installing flood lights. “He climbed up a tree next to the lights and wriggled far out on a branch and dismantled the spotlights. How he managed the feat without electrocuting himself or falling is a riddle.”

The [fecal] matter has now been resolved

Apart from the poopetrator’s identity, another question remains unanswered, though. How did this debacle last for over a decade?

We spoke to Stavanger Golf Club in December of 2020 to find out. But all a spokesperson told us was, that “the matter was resolved by itself when the walking paths surrounding the course got night lights.”

No matter what, we assume the golf club had a hard time holding it in.

Their happiness when the problem ended, of course.

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nnm

nnm 37903

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(News stories that remind you of Kevin on Surly)

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/emaoconnor/texas-man-ignores-alligator-warning#.kdgn5m0Ex
 

A Texas Man Was Attacked And Killed After Ignoring An Alligator Warning

"It was pretty much immediate," a local police captain told BuzzFeed News of the grisly attack.

Last updated on July 9, 2015, at 7:51 a.m. ET

Posted on July 4, 2015, at 11:42 a.m. ET

A Texas man who was warned not to swim in a river due to an alligator sighting, but jumped in anyway, was attacked and killed early Friday near the Louisiana border, police told BuzzFeed News
Tommie Woodward, 28, was at an outdoor bar at a marina in Orange, Texas, around 2:30 a.m. local time when he defied a sign warning of alligators and entered the bayou waters.

 

Employees at the marina had erected the sign in recent days after spotting a "pretty damn big" 11-foot alligator in the area, Orange County Police Captain Robert Enmon told BuzzFeed News.

A woman with Woodward warned him not to enter the water because of the risk, prompting him to reply "Fuck that alligator," Enmon said [emphasis added]

Just before he jumped in, the woman spotted the gator, Enmon said. Woodward was attacked almost immediately.
 

"It was pretty much immediate," Enmon told BuzzFeed News. "He had puncture marks on his upper right shoulder, and his left arm and elbow received severe damage. The alligator pulled him down and he came back up yelling."

The woman he was with heard him screaming for help, local authorities told KFDM-TV, and jumped into the water in an apparent attempt to save him. When she was unsuccessful, she screamed for help.

Marine employee Michelle Wright told CNN she rushed to the water with a flashlight and saw his body floating face down. 

Police later fished his body out of the water from a boat, Enmon said.

"Alligators are extremely common around here," Enmon told BuzzFeed News, "but in my 25 years on the job this is the first fatality I'm aware of."

Enmon said police are awaiting toxicology tests, but that alcohol may have been a factor in the man's decision to enter the water.

Kent Robnett, of Orange Texas, confessed Wednesday to trapping and killing the alligator. He allegedly set the trap on Saturday and once he caught the reptile, he shot it in the head. 

"I knew I was breaking the law," he told ABC13. But he said he did it because the 11.5-foot gator was dangerous and just "too big."

"I have a one year old, a 3 year old, and a 14 year old who swim out here," he said. "He was just too big."

Robnett's action is punishable by a fine of up to $500. Authorities have not yet decided if they will ticket Robnett. 

Friends described Woodword on a memorial Facebook page as an "avid beer connoisseur, [who] loved fishing, swimming, camping, grilling and being outdoors period! Hard Working and helped people even if he had to give them the shirt off his back.”

 

original-13230-1436022579-5.jpg?downsize

https://www.facebook.com/tommie.woodward.9?ref=br_rs

 

Edited by nnm
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 55862

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22 hours ago, nnm said:

(News stories that remind you of Kevin on Surly)

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/emaoconnor/texas-man-ignores-alligator-warning#.kdgn5m0Ex
 

A Texas Man Was Attacked And Killed After Ignoring An Alligator Warning

"It was pretty much immediate," a local police captain told BuzzFeed News of the grisly attack.

Last updated on July 9, 2015, at 7:51 a.m. ET

Posted on July 4, 2015, at 11:42 a.m. ET

 

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DigglerontheHoof

DigglerontheHoof 21550

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8 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:


Just read that Max Berry is a golfer on the Florida State team and that he was yelling that his father is worth 2 million dollars.

 

https://www.10tv.com/article/news/local/ohio/ohio-man-taped-to-seat-on-flight-after-allegedly-groping-fighting-flight-attendants/530-a5f82ea5-fa0e-4491-ba90-d299a74bf870

 

From the story:

The FBI was contacted and said they are not going to pursue federal charges against Berry.

Why wouldn't the FBI drop federal charges on this turd knocker?

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Blotto

Blotto 24013

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9 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:


Just read that Max Berry is a golfer on the Florida State team and that he was yelling that his father is worth 2 million dollars.

 

Ohio Wesleyan golfer. While the school already ditched his bio on their website out of embarassment, they could have been a bit more thorough on the trending stories section. 

https://battlingbishops.com/404-1.aspx?url=%2froster.aspx%3frp_id%3d5686%26

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'stache

'stache 22131

Posted
Posted
On 7/28/2021 at 1:52 PM, nnm said:

This is a multi-national problem. 
https://norwaytoday.info/news/serial-pooper-finally-stopped-defecating-in-norwegian-golf-clubs-holes/

Serial pooper finally stopped defecating in Norwegian golf club’s holes

POSTED BY: LARA RASIN 17. DECEMBER 2020

Maybe you’ve heard about the golf club in Norway that had a long-standing problem with fecal graffiti.

Now, the Stavanger Golf Club is finally taking a load off.

For over a decade after 2005, a mystery pooper regularly left number 2s where others made holes in 1.

What we know about the crap controversy

News site Rogaland Avis interviewed then-Stavanger Golf Club groundskeepers Kenneth Tennfjord and Frode Jormeland, and managing director Steinar Floisvik. The employees offered insights into the issue, which UPI also covered in detail.

Here’s what we know from the accounts:

The pooper’s motive was unknown. “Our idea is that it could be someone who, for unknown reasons, hates the game of golf. Alternatively, the person may have a fetish or suffer from mental problems.”

The pooper was likely a man, “”because the poos are too massive to be from a woman.”

The pooper didn’t defecate everywhere. Rather, he had “a couple of favorite holes.”

The pooper didn’t visit on the weekends. “He poos only on weekdays.”

The pooper cycled, then got the runs. “In the early morning dew we observed bicycle tracks on the course. Footsteps showed that he had done his business, and the bicycle tracks disappeared back the way they came.”

The pooper evaded the club’s initial attempts to stop them. They included installing flood lights. “He climbed up a tree next to the lights and wriggled far out on a branch and dismantled the spotlights. How he managed the feat without electrocuting himself or falling is a riddle.”

The [fecal] matter has now been resolved

Apart from the poopetrator’s identity, another question remains unanswered, though. How did this debacle last for over a decade?

We spoke to Stavanger Golf Club in December of 2020 to find out. But all a spokesperson told us was, that “the matter was resolved by itself when the walking paths surrounding the course got night lights.”

No matter what, we assume the golf club had a hard time holding it in.

Their happiness when the problem ended, of course.

"Fecal Graffiti" would be a great band name.

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Blotto

Blotto 24013

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https://www.wbtw.com/news/naked-man-hid-in-room-while-woman-used-tanning-bed-at-gym-police-say/?utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_source=t.co&utm_medium=referral

Quote

The Planet Fitness subsequently called police to watch the footage, WSPA reported. According to the incident report, Grant — still naked — left the tanning bed room shortly after the woman and masturbated in the common area.

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Parliament

Parliament 14593

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A Wisconsin woman accidentally shot a friend while using the laser sight on a handgun to play with a cat, authorities said.

A criminal complaint charging the 19-year-old woman with negligent use of a weapon said she was visiting a Kenosha apartment on Tuesday afternoon where a 21-year-old man had brought a handgun.

The woman, who a witness said had been drinking, picked up the handgun, “turned on the laser sight and was pointing it at the floor to get the cat to chase it,” when the gun went off, the complaint filed Thursday said.

The man, who was standing in a doorway, was shot in the thigh, authorities said. He left and went into another apartment, where police found him after responding to a 911 call, the Kenosha News reported.

https://www.wane.com/news/crime/wisconsin-woman-shoots-friend-while-using-guns-laser-sight-to-play-with-cat/

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RPM

RPM 26621

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Alligator bites handler at Utah sanctuary

A handler at a Utah petting zoo nearly lost her hand over the weekend after getting bit by an alligator while in an enclosure. 

The harrowing few minutes were caught on camera by Theresa Wiseman, a spectator, as the incident at Scales and Tails in West Valley City unfolded on Saturday. 

In the video, the handler, Linsay Bull, can be seen engaging with an alligator, Darth Gator, who perches himself up on a platform. Bull gestures for the gator to go back into the water, but he clamps on to her hand and tugs at her. 

Bull is pulled into the water and scuffles with the Darth to avoid having her hand torn off. That’s when another bystander, Donnie Wiseman, shouts to other staff members for help and leaps into the water to wrestle the gator. 

At one point the gator struggles, loosening his grip on Bull’s hand, allowing another bystander, Todd Christopher, to pull her out of the pool. Wiseman continues to press his weight down on the gator before managing to jump out of the enclosure. 

Here's a thought, don't bring alligators to places they don't naturally exist.

 

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ABSR

ABSR 5369

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Posted
11 hours ago, RPM said:

Alligator bites handler at Utah sanctuary

A handler at a Utah petting zoo nearly lost her hand over the weekend after getting bit by an alligator while in an enclosure. 

The harrowing few minutes were caught on camera by Theresa Wiseman, a spectator, as the incident at Scales and Tails in West Valley City unfolded on Saturday. 

In the video, the handler, Linsay Bull, can be seen engaging with an alligator, Darth Gator, who perches himself up on a platform. Bull gestures for the gator to go back into the water, but he clamps on to her hand and tugs at her. 

Bull is pulled into the water and scuffles with the Darth to avoid having her hand torn off. That’s when another bystander, Donnie Wiseman, shouts to other staff members for help and leaps into the water to wrestle the gator. 

At one point the gator struggles, loosening his grip on Bull’s hand, allowing another bystander, Todd Christopher, to pull her out of the pool. Wiseman continues to press his weight down on the gator before managing to jump out of the enclosure. 

Here's a thought, don't bring alligators to places they don't naturally exist.

 

Did Happy Gilmore teach them nothing?!?!

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nnm

nnm 37903

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https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-08-19/onlyfans-to-block-sexually-explicit-videos-starting-in-october

OnlyFans to Bar Sexually Explicit Videos Starting in October

Am I missing something?  Is there literally any other purpose for that platform?  It's like "Home Depot to stop selling home improvement supplies" or "HEB to stop selling groceries."  
edit:  sorry, didn’t see the thread in IPIHB. Someone else even beat me to the Home Depot observation. 
I’ll go do push-ups until I throw up as penance. Should take about 20. 

Edited by nnm
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Blotto

Blotto 24013

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A 48-year-old man accused of buying hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of online porn using a Virginia couple’s investment money has been sentenced to prison.

Manish Singh, of Maryland, was ordered to spend three years and four months in prison after he pleaded guilty to wire fraud and identity theft charges earlier this year, prosecutors in the Eastern District of Virginia said Friday in a news release.

A judge also ordered Singh to pay $1.26 million in restitution and give up his Lexus SUV.

Singh received the $1.26 million from a couple looking to to use his contacts in the fashion industry to start a high-end fabric company, prosecutors said. Instead, Singh is accused of using more than $900,000 of the startup funds to tip performers on a livestreaming cam girl website.

$900K. I don't get it. are some of these fools running out of free porn? That amount is so preposterous, its almost heroic

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47peki66ef018d0ojcxb

Edited by Blotto
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