Jump to content

News stories that remind you of Surly

Longboard Horn

By Longboard Horn
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

nnm

nnm 36393

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, ztejas said:

https://www.insider.com/woman-pooped-pants-during-marathon-ran-with-it-in-shorts-2021-11?amp

A woman who pooped her pants halfway through a marathon and ran with it in her shorts until she crossed the finish line achieved a personal record

File this under "Man Walks On Moon" or "Dewey Defeats Truman." 

I've run a lot of marathons.  My somewhat educated guess is that about half of marathon finishers have at least some fecal matter in their shorts.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 1.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

RPM
RPM
Armybrat
Armybrat
Parliament
Parliament

Posted Images

Horn Under a Bad Sign

Horn Under a Bad Sign 20397

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is really not funny but I read this and thought it must be a joke. Who would have named their kid this?  And the guy is stabbed on Halloween?

The Austin Police Department (APD) has identified the food delivery driver killed by a parking attendant in South Austin as 52-year-old Lucifer Devil Divinitas. 

Divinitas was stabbed by the parking attendant during a dispute over a parking spot near Phoebe's Diner over the past weekend. He later died from his injuries.

According to police, 9-1-1 dispatch received multiple calls of a man being stabbed in the parking lot for Phoebe's Diner, which is located at the intersection of West Oltorf Street and South First Street, around 11:20 a.m. on Sunday, October 31. When first responders arrived, they found Divinitas with obvious trauma. 

Divinitas was transported to St. David’s South Austin Medical Center by ATCEMS. He later died there from his injuries, according to police. 




https://www.fox7austin.com/news/police-identify-food-delivery-driver-killed-by-parking-attendant

Edited by Horn Under a Bad Sign
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Blotto

Blotto 23499

Posted
Posted
On 11/3/2021 at 2:36 PM, nnm said:

File this under "Man Walks On Moon" or "Dewey Defeats Truman." 

I've run a lot of marathons.  My somewhat educated guess is that about half of marathon finishers have at least some fecal matter in their shorts.  

Quote

When she neared the finish line, she yelled to her friends, "I pooped my pants!"

I nominate we ditch the "all gas, no brakes" team slogan in favor of this one.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36393

Posted
Posted (edited)

Except for the fact that his website indicates that he's aggy (http://www.philliphayesattorney.com/dallas-attorney-profile.html), I would have wondered what his Surly handle is.  Dallas lawyer, defending a client facing death row, gets caught soliciting some strange DURING THE TRIAL.  Perhaps he could have picked up some tips from the SB thread.  Not inconsequentially, his client was found guilty and the jury imposed the death penalty.

Attorney of former Tyler nurse who killed four patients arrested on prostitution charge

6189dbb22dd59.image.jpg

A lawyer who defended a former Tyler nurse sentenced to death for killing four patients is accused of seeking out sex for payment while the trial was ongoing last month, police documents show.

Phillip Wayne Hayes, 48, of Dallas, was charged with solicitation of prostitution Friday and released the same day on a $2,000 bond, according to Smith County Jail records. A photo of Hayes’ face was posted alongside the charge.

According to an arrest affidavit, Smith County undercover officers posted ads on a website commonly used for human trafficking and prostitution.

 

The document states Hayes began exchanging texts with the undercover officer on Oct. 5 for roughly two hours that afternoon. Investigators identified Hayes using his phone number and law enforcement database searches.

 

Oct. 5 was the sixth day of the William George Davis trial, in which Hayes and fellow attorney Douglas Parks worked on the defense.

The trial began Sept. 28 and ended Oct. 27 when Davis was ultimately sentenced to death for injecting air into patients’ arterial systems while he was a nurse at Christus Trinity Mother Frances Louis and Peaches Owen Heart Hospital in Tyler, causing them to have brain damage and later die.

 

Another search showed Hayes owned a 2020 black Land Rover Defender. The affidavit reads Hayes asked for an hour of time for him to pay $110 for sex. After Hayes requested, the undercover officer gave him a location to meet around 6 p.m.

An arrest team saw Hayes’ vehicle come to the location, and he was arrested and transported for an interview, the affidavit stated.

Because of Hayes’ involvement as counsel in the ongoing trial, officers made the decision to get a warrant at a later date.

Hayes’ law practice, Phillip Hayes Attorney at Law, is based out of Dallas.

According to the Texas Bar Association, Hayes has been licensed to practice law since 1999. His law firm website states the office focuses entirely on criminal defense in Texas state and federal courts.

edit:  link to Tyler paper:  https://tylerpaper.com/news/crime/attorney-of-former-tyler-nurse-who-killed-four-patients-arrested-on-prostitution-charge/article_b38a0af6-4100-11ec-89d6-0f943c49593a.html

Edited by nnm
Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Specific

General Specific 3260

Posted
Posted
Except for the fact that his website indicates that he's aggy (http://www.philliphayesattorney.com/dallas-attorney-profile.html), I would have wondered what his Surly handle is.  Dallas lawyer, defending a client facing death row, gets caught soliciting some strange DURING THE TRIAL.  Perhaps he could have picked up some tips from the SB thread.  Not inconsequentially, his client was found guilty and the jury imposed the death penalty.

Attorney of former Tyler nurse who killed four patients arrested on prostitution charge

6189dbb22dd59.image.jpg

A lawyer who defended a former Tyler nurse sentenced to death for killing four patients is accused of seeking out sex for payment while the trial was ongoing last month, police documents show.

Phillip Wayne Hayes, 48, of Dallas, was charged with solicitation of prostitution Friday and released the same day on a $2,000 bond, according to Smith County Jail records. A photo of Hayes’ face was posted alongside the charge.

According to an arrest affidavit, Smith County undercover officers posted ads on a website commonly used for human trafficking and prostitution.

 

The document states Hayes began exchanging texts with the undercover officer on Oct. 5 for roughly two hours that afternoon. Investigators identified Hayes using his phone number and law enforcement database searches.

 

Oct. 5 was the sixth day of the William George Davis trial, in which Hayes and fellow attorney Douglas Parks worked on the defense.

The trial began Sept. 28 and ended Oct. 27 when Davis was ultimately sentenced to death for injecting air into patients’ arterial systems while he was a nurse at Christus Trinity Mother Frances Louis and Peaches Owen Heart Hospital in Tyler, causing them to have brain damage and later die.

 

Another search showed Hayes owned a 2020 black Land Rover Defender. The affidavit reads Hayes asked for an hour of time for him to pay $110 for sex. After Hayes requested, the undercover officer gave him a location to meet around 6 p.m.

An arrest team saw Hayes’ vehicle come to the location, and he was arrested and transported for an interview, the affidavit stated.

Because of Hayes’ involvement as counsel in the ongoing trial, officers made the decision to get a warrant at a later date.

Hayes’ law practice, Phillip Hayes Attorney at Law, is based out of Dallas.

According to the Texas Bar Association, Hayes has been licensed to practice law since 1999. His law firm website states the office focuses entirely on criminal defense in Texas state and federal courts.

edit:  link to Tyler paper:  https://tylerpaper.com/news/crime/attorney-of-former-tyler-nurse-who-killed-four-patients-arrested-on-prostitution-charge/article_b38a0af6-4100-11ec-89d6-0f943c49593a.html


Don’t care, had sex.jpg
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Patricio Swayze

Patricio Swayze 17058

Posted
Posted
https://www.tmz.com/2021/11/13/rock-band-frontwoman-pees-on-fan-face-show-apologizes/

Rock Band Frontwoman Pees on Fan's Face During Show, Group Apologizes





Last chance. Open at your own risk.



 



168faffc9ba34cd68e71596f9e7fe95a_md.jpg





 



Hahaha I was coming here to post this. Remembered this thread and figured I should check it first.

So here is the video, you know, for scientific purposes…

https://www.redgifs.com/watch/internalharmlessgallowaycow
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54221

Posted
Posted
On 11/13/2021 at 10:41 PM, RamjetFDO said:

https://www.tmz.com/2021/11/13/rock-band-frontwoman-pees-on-fan-face-show-apologizes/

Rock Band Frontwoman Pees on Fan's Face During Show, Group Apologizes

 

  Reveal hidden contents



Last chance. Open at your own risk.

 

  Reveal hidden contents



168faffc9ba34cd68e71596f9e7fe95a_md.jpg


 


 
 

Not say I would (or wouldn't), but hey...

image.thumb.png.e4c1fd61ea256825bc0e05b5a5585212.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites
demos

demos 3003

Posted
Posted

Suspended for that? Weak.

We had 4 guys throw a dead skunk (they picked it up off the side of the road) through the high school principal’s office window. School stunk for at least 2 weeks.

Figured out who it was because their car stunk to high heaven as well. They also puked several times along the route.

  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
RPM

RPM 26320

Posted
Posted

LAS VEGAS (FOX5) -- Las Vegas police said a man tried to skip out on a $4,000 restaurant bill then made a bomb threat at the Bellagio last week.

According to the arrest report for Gregg Cohen, officers were called to the Las Vegas Strip property about 3:30 p.m. on Nov. 12. 

When officers arrived, casino security told them Cohen had been eating and drinking in Spago, a restaurant in the casino, and had a bill of $4,312.75. He reportedly got up and left, saying he was using the restroom.

According to the restaurant's manager, Cohen had ordered seafood and a bottle of Dom Perignon, then socialized with women nearby and bought them champagne. 

The manager then said he saw Cohen at a table game.

Cohen was asked to return to the restaurant to pay the bill. The report says Cohen then stated he had $10,000 to pay, but then emptied his pockets and had no money.

He was then taken into security custody. While waiting for police to arrive, security said Cohen said, "I bet if there was a bomb, they'd get here really fast." When asked directly if he placed a bomb in the casino, Cohen reportedly said, "There is a bomb," then repeated the word "bomb" multiple times.

Court records show Cohen is charged with communicating a bomb threat, theft and defrauding a proprietor. He's expected back in court on Dec. 1. 

 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...