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27 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Don't you dare judge me.

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Laughter is non-judgemental. 

Just remember latex can generate massive amounts of static electricity when rubbed briskly... avoid amputation if possible.

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News stories that remind you of aggy
German police seek help in solving bull sperm heist
BERLIN (AP) — Police in western Germany are appealing for help in cracking a potentially very cold case.
Authorities say about 60 containers of bull sperm were stolen from a farm in the town of Olfen, 90 kilometers (56 miles) northeast of Cologne, late Monday or early Tuesday.
Police said in a statement Wednesday that while it’s unclear how the rustle happened, the precious cargo needs to be supercooled with liquid nitrogen at –196 Celsius degrees (–320 Fahrenheit) so it isn’t spoiled.
They are seeking tips from the public that might lead to the recovery of the sperm, which was intended for artificial insemination.

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This story is just too good not to share. Matthew Pancake was arrested while wearing leopard skin pajamas with four hamsters in his pants after a series of break-ins.

https://www.10tv.com/article/news/crime/bodycam-man-arrested-hamsters-in-pants-columbus-matthew-pancake/530-772885cf-c800-4d09-84ee-7c5a328e58d7

Bodycam video shows arrest of man with hamsters in his pants after allegedly breaking into Columbus pet store

COLUMBUS, Ohio — The Columbus Division of Police released body camera video showing the arrest of a man who had hamsters in his pants after allegedly breaking into a pet store and two other businesses on the city's west side early Tuesday morning.

Officers were called to Roosters at 5225 Nike Station Way near Hilliard just after 3 a.m. Upon arrival, they discovered the restaurant was broken into. Video evidence shows a man with long hair wearing leopard-print pajamas inside. 

A nearby Petland store was also broken into, with several animals seen running around in the parking lot. Police recovered two dogs, multiple birds, a hamster and at least two bunnies. A Famous Footwear store on Hilliard Rome Road was also broken into.

Around 4:45 a.m., officers found the man, police later identified as Matthew Pancake, sleeping on a bench near Big Lots on Roberts Road.

The bodycam video shows multiple officers surrounding Pancake as he sleeps on the bench.

An officer grabs Pancake off the bench and tells him he is under arrest.

Pancake asked several times asking what was happening and officers told him that he was under arrest for breaking and entering. 

As officers searched Pancake, they found four hamsters and bedding in his leopard-printed pajamas.

"There's multiple gerbils in his pants," an officer can be heard saying. "Do you have any more gerbils on you?" The gerbils were later identified as hamsters.

The officers took pictures of the hamsters before returning them to the store.

Pancake was treated for injuries he suffered while allegedly breaking into one of the stores. He is charged with breaking and entering and vandalism. A judge set his bond at $10,000 during his arraignment on Wednesday.

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 11/7/2022 at 9:11 PM, RPM said:

LEXINGTON, Ky. — A University of Kentucky student has been arrested for physically and verbally assaulting another student.

Sophia Rosing has been charged with assault, public intoxication, disorderly conduct and assault of a police officer.

Arrest records show Rosing was arrested at Boyd Hall by UK police.

She was then booked into the Fayette County Jail, initially, as Jane Doe.

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Video has since surfaced online showing Rosing attacking another student who was on duty as a desk clerk in the school dormitory at the time.

In the video, Rosing appears to attempt to run the student over with a shopping cart that was in the building lobby. Rosing is also heard saying the n-word more than 200 times.

According to her arrest citation, Rosing told police that she "has lots of money and gets special treatment." The citation also said she kicked and bit a police officer during her arrest.

UK released a statement saying they are investigating the incident. UK President Eli Capilouto says the actions in the video are "deeply antithetical to what we are and what we always want to be as a community."

The university has launched an investigation into the incident.

Rosing is set to appear in court for her arraignment Monday afternoon.

Surprised she'll likely get a little time inside. 

Quote

Rosing pleaded guilty to four counts of fourth-degree assault, one count of disorderly conduct, and one count of public intoxication, her attorney, Fred Peters, told the Lexington Herald-Leader. He said his client now faces 12 months in jail, 100 hours of community service, and a $25 fine.

“Her life has been on hold for the past 18 to 20 months,” Peters told the Herald-Leader. “She has had a lot of time to think about what she has done, and she wrote a nice letter of apology.” 

https://www.yahoo.com/news/former-university-kentucky-student-viral-153544279.html

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41 minutes ago, demos said:

The neighborhood was the true loser in that situation. No one, including the guy’s wife, needs to see that. 

<insert obligatory> “sorry for partying” gif here>

<insert “I thought this was America” gif here>

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From Liberally Lean

  • There's a gold mine of nuggets out of this story from Denton. Stay with me here. 
    Screenshot%202024-08-21%20080318.jpg
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    • It was pled on Friday before trail when the prosecutor offered 5 years to the reduced charge of Manslaughter. The defendant, the victim's wife, has been in the county jail or two and half years so she is parole eligible now.
    • The victim was found unconscious in the driver’s seat of a vehicle with a gunshot wound to the abdomen.  The defendant was in the vehicle at the time and allegedly told police a man approached the truck, shooting the victim and causing the truck to crash. Police said surveillance footage showed no one approached the truck before it crashed.
    • The defendant and the victim knew each other four days before they were married.
    • A special prosecutor had to be brought in because of a possible conflict of interest: (1) The defendant had been a witness "as a victim" in some prior undescribed case and, amazingly, (2) the DA's office had previously prosecuted the victim for "murder [where he] argued self-defense. After a mistrial due to a hung jury, he pleaded guilty to criminally negligent homicide and received a two-year sentence."
    • But, wait, there's more! The defendant "was on probation when she was arrested . . . .  [She] received an adjudicated sentence from a Bay County, Florida, judge for one count of deadly conduct and one count of making a false report of sexual battery involving a law enforcement officer."  That probation may now be revoked. 
    • The defense lawyer was Caroline Simone. The special prosecutor was Kailey Gillman from Collin County,
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Husband admits adding cocaine, MDMA to wife's Cokes in hopes he would marry her daughter

An Indiana man admitted to putting a poisonous "off-white powdery substance" into his wife's Coca-Cola so he could kill her and marry her daughter, according to state court records.

Alfred Ruf, 71, pleaded guilty to aggravated battery in July for trying to poison his wife. He was sentenced on Monday to four years in prison and five years of probation, Indiana court records show.

Ruf told officers in January 2022 that he had been "spiking" his wife's drinks over the last few months with a substance given to him by his wife's daughter, according to a probable cause affidavit obtained by USA TODAY.

Ruf's wife, who called the Wayne County Sheriff's Department and told them about her husband's actions, gave the responding deputy a pill bottle that contained the unknown powdery substance, the affidavit says. She also gave the deputy a Coca-Cola aluminum can that she drank and cut open. At the bottom of the can was an "off-white residue," the document continued.

Another deputy took Ruf's wife to a hospital where she tested positive for having MDMA, cocaine and Benzodiazepines (Benzo's) in her blood and urine, according to the affidavit. She denied using the drugs, the document says.

"Once the state changed the nature of the offense, he took responsibility for what he did wrong," John Lawrence Tompkins, Ruf's defense attorney, told USA TODAY on Tuesday. "That's the appropriate thing to do."

When deputies interviewed a then-69-year-old Ruf at the sheriff's office in January 2022, he told them that he was sexually involved with his wife's 31-year-old daughter from a previous marriage, the affidavit says. He then explained that his wife's daughter gave him the pill bottle with the powdery substance in September 2021 and instructed him to put it in her mother's drink, the court document continued.

Ruf was the only person charged in connection with the crimes.

Ruf told the deputies that the drug cocktail would make his wife go to sleep for "13 hours or so," the affidavit says. He also confessed that he put the drugs in the drink to "eventually kill (her)," according to the document.

The daughter and her female friend would call and tell Ruf to give the drugs to his wife, he told the deputies, per the affidavit.

"Alfred would then sprinkle some of the white powder in (his wife's) Coca-Cola can and then wait for her to fall asleep," the affidavit says. "(The women) would then come to Alfred's residence and put more of an unknown substance in (Ruf's wife's) drink and have her drink it."

Once Ruf's wife was asleep, her daughter and her daughter's friend would put on a "show" for Ruf, according to the affidavit. The show involved the two women putting on Ruf's wife's negligees and then performing "sex acts on each other," the court document continues.

Ruf also told authorities that while he was having sex with his wife's daughter or her friend, one of the women would steal some of his wife's personal items. He also admitted to paying the women to perform sex acts, the affidavit says.

The victim's daughter told Ruf she wanted to "get mom out of the picture" once she found out they were selling their home, according to the affidavit. The victim's daughter also mentioned a life insurance policy to Ruf that her mother had in place, the court document says.


Ruf confirmed to deputies that he gave his wife the powdery substance 12 times from September through December 2021, the affidavit says. He also told deputies the victim's daughter said she and Ruf would get married after they "took care" of his wife, according to the court filing.

Although Ruf acknowledged that he knew the drugs would eventually kill his wife, he also said he gave her the substance just so her daughter and her daughter's friend could come over and have sex with him, according to the affidavit.

Ruf came clean to his wife because he "felt bad," he told deputies, per the affidavit.

The last line is why I know it wasn't anybody from here.

Edited by RPM
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