Jump to content

News stories that remind you of Surly

Longboard Horn

By Longboard Horn
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

Hornius Emeritus

Hornius Emeritus 12796

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

Explosive device used at gender-reveal party causes fire and mass evacuations in California

A fire that has destroyed over 7,000 acres and forced the evacuation of 3,000 residents was caused by a "smoke generating" explosive used at a gender-reveal party, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection. "With the dry conditions and critical fire weather, it doesn’t take much to start a wildfire. Those responsible for starting fires due to negligence or illegal activity can be held financially and criminally responsible," the statement said.


https://abc7.com/el-dorado-fire-sparked-by-pyrotechnic-device-officials-say/6412483/

Edited by Hornius Emeritus
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

RPM
RPM
Armybrat
Armybrat
Parliament
Parliament

Posted Images

Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10097

Posted
Posted (edited)

SEPTEMBER 8--After taking a sex toy from a shelf at a Florida adult novelty store, a woman removed her clothes and began using the “pink colored” device inside the business, police charge.

A Fort Pierce cop was dispatched early Tuesday evening to the Lion's Den Adult Superstore “in reference to a disturbance,” according to an arrest affidavit. En route to the business, a dispatcher noted that “there was a female in the store wearing a purple shirt and had on no pants.”

Before the officer entered Lion's Den, a worker explained that the masturbating suspect had “removed a sex toy from the packaging and was now fully nude.” The woman, the worked added, had disappeared into a stock room with the sex toy.

When he entered the stock room, the officer found Theresa Stanley, 36, “sitting in an office chair with her feet up on the table.” Stanley had a “pink colored, penis shaped sex toy” in her hand and was using the device in a “masturbatory manner.”

Right after the cop appeared, Stanley “stopped making use of the sex toy and dropped it on the ground.”

Pictured above, Stanley was arrested for theft and indecent exposure, both misdemeanors. After being read her rights, Stanley declined to the speak with the officer, whose body-worn camera recorded the bizarre incident.

Stanley was booked into the St. Lucie County jail, where she is being held in lieu of $1500 bond. She is scheduled to be arraigned tomorrow.

Stanley’s rap sheet includes convictions for soliciting prostitution and possession of drug paraphernalia. She was charged earlier this year with grand theft auto, a felony case that is pending. (2 pages)

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/lewd-test-drive-arrest-628419

spacer.png

Trevor Lawrence's older twin sister

Edited by Brothahorn
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8971

Posted
Posted

Fargo dude faces life in prison for trying to derail a train


https://www.inforum.com/news/crime-and-courts/6664712-Fargo-man-accused-of-trying-to-derail-train-near-Casselton-faces-life-in-prison

Few months ago he made the news because he was caught on tape for beating up his now EX and pulling a gun on her.

So think about it next time you put that penny on a track

Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 37893

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Blotto said:

No surveillance video (i call bs), so I'm hoping Wally has a dashcam. Love the whippet container on the roof of the car

 

Just gonna fuckin send it.

What’s with the enunciation and hipster intonation from the reporter? I had a hard time understanding at first, until I figured out he was actually a Brit trying too hard to be dramatic and cool. 
Love the Dukes and Blues Brothers footage. I wish they’d spliced in the drawbridge CCTV footage for comparison. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Blotto

Blotto 24010

Posted
Posted

https://www.yahoo.com/news/m-very-ashamed-argentine-lawmaker-112942352.html

Quote

A lawmaker in Argentina has been suspended after he was spotted kissing a woman’s breast during a virtual session of congress.

Juan Emilio Ameri, who represents the northern province of Salta, was seen by both colleagues and members of the public committing the lewd act as the chamber of deputies held a special meeting broadcast on Zoom.

Footage of the incident quickly went viral on social media, sparking outrage and quickly leading to a vote in which the 47-year-old was suspended pending an investigation.

In the footage, Mr Ameri, who is in the ruling Frene de Todos coalition, can be seen sitting down in front of a web cam with a woman on his lap.

As another politician addresses his colleagues, Mr Ameri puts his face to the woman’s chest, before pulling down her top and appearing to kiss her breast.

Dad he's grabbing her tits right there at the table!

Just eat your breakfast, Russ.

Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.

He's not gonna pork her, Russ.

I think he's gonna.

He may pork her, finish your breakfast.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Gil Bang

Gil Bang 26229

Posted
Posted
On 9/25/2020 at 6:15 PM, Parliament said:

https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/2902957/does-this-look-like-the-face-of-a-man-arrested-for-ejaculating-into-his-co-workers-water-bottle-on-multiple-occassions

eb3f2496af53b2e22e840aaa9f9ee0de.jpg

An Orange County worker who placed his semen in a female co-worker’s water bottle and food jar and onto her computer equipment was sentenced Tuesday to two and a half years in jail.

Orange County Superior Court Judge Kathleen Roberts also ordered Stevens Millancastro, a Palmdale resident, to register as a sex offender, after rejecting his argument that he committed the crimes as acts of revenge rather than for sexual gratification.

 
ADVERTISING

Roberts noted that Millancastro, 30, acted in an “extremely sexually aggressive” way and “deliberately infected” the victim’s belongings, leaving her “emotionally devastated.” The judge said it was part of a scheme to get the woman to ingest Millancastro’s semen after she rejected him and reported him to their bosses.

“He did it again and again and again, and that is very concerning to the court,” Roberts said.

During the trial, Deputy District Attorney Laila Nikaien described Millancastro as being obsessed with his co-worker, saying he stared at her incessantly after she turned him down for a date. Following her complaints, a boss at the business told Millancastrol to stop, an order he ignored,forcing the woman to file a formal HR complaint.

Several times the woman arrived at work at a wholesale business based in La Palma to find a cloudy substance in her half-full water bottles. Surveillance cameras were set up to face her desk, and after she arrived one morning to discover a “milky white substance” on her keyboard her boss went back and looked over the surveillance footage.

The footage captured Millancastro waiting for the woman to leave, then smearing the content of tissues on her keyboard and mouse. Investigators later found Millancastro’s semen in her water bottle and a bottle of honey she used daily with her tea.

The woman testified that Millancastro had made her feel “very, very uncomfortable” and said she was “disgusted” to find his semen on her personal items and work space.

Millancastro’s attorney, Michael Morrison, admitted his client’s actions were “highly inappropriate behavior,” but contended during the trial that Millancastro was angry and seeking revenge, believing what he viewed as a false sexual harassment report had put his job at risk.

“Mr. Millancastro is not a danger to re-offend,” Morrison said during the sentencing hearing, arguing against the sex offender registration requirement. “Clearly this was a very specific, pointed, situational circumstance.”

The prosecutor disagreed, telling the judge that Millancastro had subjected his co-worker to his “sexual perversion.”

“The public has a right to be warned of his deviancy,” Nikaien said.

Millancastro opted for a bench trial, so it was Judge Roberts, rather than a jury, who found him guilty of multiple counts of misdemeanor assault and battery and determined he committed the crimes for a sexual purpose. Prosecutors said the charged crimes occurred in November 2016 and January 2017.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hornius Emeritus

Hornius Emeritus 12796

Posted
Posted

Any article that begins like this is certain to remind me of Surly:

 

The Archbishop of New Orleans has consecrated a new altar at a Pearl River church after its predecessor was burned amid allegations a priest allegedly recorded himself performing sexual acts on it with two corset-clad dominatrices.

Archbishop Gregory Aymond appeared at Saints Peter and Paul Church to sanctify its new altar on Saturday, having ordered the old one be removed and ritually burned earlier this week.

Aymond also hit out at Rev. Travis Clark's 'demonic' behaviour, following the 37-year-old’s arrest for allegedly hosting a threesome with Mindy Dixon and Melissa Cheng, both professional dominatrices, in the church on September 30.





https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8828333/Archbishop-consecrates-new-altar-church-priest-37-recorded-having-threesome.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wally Fairway

Wally Fairway 5673

Posted
Posted (edited)
23 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

Any article that begins like this is certain to remind me of Surly:

 

The Archbishop of New Orleans has consecrated a new altar at a Pearl River church after its predecessor was burned amid allegations a priest allegedly recorded himself performing sexual acts on it with two corset-clad dominatrices.

Archbishop Gregory Aymond appeared at Saints Peter and Paul Church to sanctify its new altar on Saturday, having ordered the old one be removed and ritually burned earlier this week.

Aymond also hit out at Rev. Travis Clark's 'demonic' behaviour, following the 37-year-old’s arrest for allegedly hosting a threesome with Mindy Dixon and Melissa Cheng, both professional dominatrices, in the church on September 30.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8828333/Archbishop-consecrates-new-altar-church-priest-37-recorded-having-threesome.html

I haven't really followed this story - but why was Rev Travis Clark arrested? is it a crime to have sex with 2 dominatrix's? 

ummm, yeah.......I'm asking for a friend

Edited by Wally Fairway
Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Specific

General Specific 3507

Posted
Posted
Judge faces dismissal for masturbating during trials:
 
Police built a case against the judge after one of Wall's officers testified during a 2003 murder trial. From the witness stand, the officer saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe.
During a break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk.
Investigators later collected carpet samples, Thompson's robes and the chair from behind the bench, and found semen, according to court records.
Thompson was a former state legislator and a judge with more than 20 years on the bench in Creek County in eastern Oklahoma.
Thompson's court reporter, Lisa Foster, told authorities that she saw him use the pump at least 10 times during trials.
She said the first time in court was in 2000, but she did not tell authorities. "I didn't want to be found dead in a ditch somewhere," she said.
 
 
https://www.chron.com/news/nation-world/article/Judge-faces-charges-for-masturbating-during-trials-1945301.php

All rise!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
RPM

RPM 26614

Posted
Posted

Eating chilli peppers may slash the risk of premature death by a QUARTER due to fiery capsaicin's anti-inflammatory properties, study finds

US researchers reviewed data covering the health and diets of 570,000 people

These were collected by four previous studies in China, Iran, Italy and the US

They found that capsaicin consumption appears to have wide health benefits

However, additional studies will be needed to find out which peppers are best

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...