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The Downfall of Craig James

bmbmd

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From Know Your Meme, concerning "CJK5H:"

About

CJK5H is an abbreviation for the phrase “Craig James killed five hookers”, an unfounded statement associated with an online smear campaign targeting retired football player and commentator Craig James, in similar vein to the Glenn Beck rape and murder hoax in 2009. The campaign was reinvigorated after James announced he would be running for the United States Senate in December of 2011

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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He reminds me of Steve Garvey. I hated them both as athletes because they were on rival teams, and both of them had this disgustingly clean-cut image. And both of them are fucking weirdos who at one point had political aspirations. Garvey's ex-wife told the media he was a lot like Ted Bundy and that was that for Garvey's political career. "If Ted Bundy's a 10, Steve is a 7," she said. So that presents a good math puzzle: given what we know about Bundy, and that Craig James killed 5 hookers, and that Garvey was only 70 percent Bundy, how many hookers did Steve Garvey kill?

 

Edited by MaybeACoordinator
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Whitman

Whitman 694

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22 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

.......... So that presents a good math puzzle: given what we know about Bundy, and that Craig James killed 5 hookers, and that Garvey was only 70 percent Bundy, how many hookers did Steve Garvey kill?

 

He didn't kill the hookers, just their Padres near the end of his career.

Edited by Whitman
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ztejas

ztejas 44114

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Well, Bundy was convicted of 30 homicides, but most estimates run higher than that. Wikipedia identifies another 13 murder cases as "possible" Bundy victims.

So let's say we go with 45. Now, we have to ask ourselves if the Bundy-scale is liner or perhaps more exponential. I would guess it's more exponential. So, let's square each for 49 and 100 "murder points". Meaning that, as a rough estimate, Garvey probably killed one hooker for each of Bundy's victims.

But I digress. TLDR it's safe to assume Garvey had his hands in the killing of at least 15-20 hookers.

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Waterface

Waterface 154

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Guys, what if Craig James killed, I dunno, like six or seven hookers? Mebbe more in his zeal. Then memes would be wrong and shit. That motherfucker's license plate posted above would be wrong - everything would be wrong. And each of those six or seven+ hookers are some father's daughter, so accuracy is important.

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shnsajax

shnsajax 3605

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Guys, what if Craig James killed, I dunno, like six or seven hookers? Mebbe more in his zeal. Then memes would be wrong and shit. That motherfucker's license plate posted above would be wrong - everything would be wrong. And each of those six or seven+ hookers are some father's daughter, so accuracy is important.


That’s why they have a second or third chorus.


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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

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Guys, what if Craig James killed, I dunno, like six or seven hookers? Mebbe more in his zeal. Then memes would be wrong and shit. That motherfucker's license plate posted above would be wrong - everything would be wrong. And each of those six or seven+ hookers are some father's daughter, so accuracy is important.
Fuck off Craig.
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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8350

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Okay I am trying to nail down the math problem.

The only given is that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU.

Ted Bundy killed about 30 people. Nobody is sure how many.

Or how many were hookers. 

And Steve Garvey's ex she says he was only 70 percent of Bundy.

Math was why I did not graduate from UT, but I am sure the hive mind here can place James on a scale. 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 26853

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On 12/14/2018 at 6:39 AM, Bill Lumbergh said:

This article, CJK5H. 

Wikipedia page, CJK5H. 

Google profile, CJK5H. 

No matter what James ever says publicly, you know it will grate at him until the day he dies that no profile of him will ever be written again without mentioning this rumor.  It's outstanding and deserved. 

In so many ways.

It's poetic. He tried to spread a deliberate lie, and he dies by a deliberate lie.

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  • 1 year later...
nnm

nnm 37737

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4 hours ago, Bartles said:

Really thought this bump was to announce he got COVID from his church choir

There’s a choir of 5 hookers in heaven thanks to #CJK5H, which got me to singing:

There were 4 hooker angels

At the alter of the sun

They were praying for ponies

When Craig James came to run

When the game stopped and the crowd cleared

There was killing on his mind,

And 4 dead hookers, took another angel home.

(apologies to Willie, but I’m sure he’d support #CJK5H)

Edit:  similar to @tjhooker, I googled Craig James, and was disappointed to see nothing about 5 dead hookers.  However, did you know that the Philadelphia Eagles have an active roster CB named Craig James, from Southern Illinois?  Poor dude.  https://www.nfl.com/players/craig-james/

Edited by nnm
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AnTiM

AnTiM 1684

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I only know that listening to his shit during the last aggy game makes me want to throw a brick through the screen.  How this pos ever got a job announcing football games just proves that tv execs know jack shit about broadcasting.  Rot in Hell, CJK5H

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18030

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15 hours ago, AnTiM said:

I only know that listening to his shit during the last aggy game makes me want to throw a brick through the screen.  How this pos ever got a job announcing football games just proves that tv execs know jack shit about broadcasting.  Rot in Hell, CJK5H

No shit.  I yell at his stupidity every time that game comes on.

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4616

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1 hour ago, nnm said:

That only makes 4. 

Clearly, you lack understanding of modern Maths.

In fact 2+2 is equal to 5, for sufficiently large values of 2.

In the instant case, it seems likely the victims were 2 females and 2 shemales.

Edited by Tex Long
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