Las Vegas go hard or go home thread

[bularry1 23]

On 4/5/2018 at 10:55 AM, TornACL said:

What are you, French?

It's called gambling for a reason. Never surrender. WOLVERINES!

this is how to roll!

[ABTX 18]

When? How many friends? Guys? Girls? Age range? Price range?

25-30 range. Don't care about price just want all of us to be in the same area. About 10 of us. Half girls half guys. I was thinking M Resort Suite or Cosmo Wrap Around Suite but that's $1,350 for 2 nights. Not sure if that's worth it.


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[Incredulity 11,643]

M Resort is hell and gone from anything else in Vegas.  Way the fuck south.

That can be a plus if you want a more low-key experience, but if you want drunken wandering between casinos that aint it.

 

[pearlandhorn 3,269]

Ate at Ruth’s Chris at Harrah’s last night. Pleasantly surprised but the cocktails sucked.  Don’t know how much the bill was as it was all comp’d. Headed to Hell’s Kitchen tonight. Will report. Staying at the Venetian which is a new place for me. I typically stay at Paris. Venetian is a very nice hotel.

[bigup2dahorns 3,343]

25-30 range. Don't care about price just want all of us to be in the same area. About 10 of us. Half girls half guys. I was thinking M Resort Suite or Cosmo Wrap Around Suite but that's $1,350 for 2 nights. Not sure if that's worth it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

For some background info, what are the main activities for the trip? Pool, craps, nightclubs, fancy restaurants etc ? I usually advise people to stay relatively close to where they will be doing things.

I would only stay at M resorts if you were comfortable pretty much staying on property most of the trip. I’ve never been but it is inconvenient if your crew wants to be doing most stuff on the Strip.

There’s lots of ways to blow money in Vegas. I tend to tell people don’t spend too much on the room and save money for food, gambling and nitelife etc

[Angry Gorilla 1,766]

How old are these friends?  And what is M Resort?

[skipperj 377]

I played craps one time at M on the way into town driving from California. Figured I'd stop and try out the HG craps method for the first time live before stopping at the liquor store and checking into my hotel.

It seemed really nice, but, like others said, way the fuck south of town. You'd have to take a car anywhere you wanted to go outside of the resort.

[Landomatic 3,813]

55 minutes ago, skipperj said:

I played craps one time at M on the way into town driving from California. Figured I'd stop and try out the HG craps method for the first time live before stopping at the liquor store and checking into my hotel.

It seemed really nice, but, like others said, way the fuck south of town. You'd have to take a car anywhere you wanted to go outside of the resort.

Yeah never really understood the draw to staying at those out of town places.  Better odds?  Way way cheaper?  Easier to get away with prostitutes?  Less crowded?  All those things seem negligible compared to the beating of being that far from everything.

[happyhookem 224]

True story. I went to one of the casinos in Biloxi. I'm usually pretty good at blackjack so I pick a table and sit down. No big deal, win a little, lose a little. And then, lightning struck. I literally could not fucking lose. I was dealt a pair of 8's and split them. I got 3 more 8's and split them too for a total of five hands. Won all of them. Hit several blackjacks and ended up splitting pairs of face cards and aces. They finally ran another dealer to the table and, as usual, the luck lady went away. Still came home with a sizeable wad of cash and have not gambled since. I figured I had used up all my gambling luck and it was time to leave it alone.

[Armybrat 40,814]

My longtime Vegas buds just had drunken meet there a couple of weeks ago. They are normally Fremont Street fans, but did say the Cromwell had the only decent table game odds in that part of the Strip. They are avid craps players 75% of the time, usually taking over a table for 8 -10 hours if it's rolling well.   Then Blackjack for their other favorite.

[Bogeywon 2,519]

On 4/24/2018 at 3:58 AM, ABTX said:

I'm going with a group of friends for a birthday. Was thinking the M Resort. Any other suggestions?


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My buddy used to be head barber there csb

[skipperj 377]

The one with the dirty knees?

[bigup2dahorns 3,343]

Eater LV:

The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas goes all in on a fancy pants new eatery destination complete with celebrity chef names including Northern Thai fare from JBF Award-winning chef Andy Ricker and pork sandwiches from Rick Gencarelli, hot chicken, Japanese hand rolls, Mexican cocktails, and, of course, doughnuts.

 

Block 16 Urban Eatery & Bar heads to the second level of the Boulevard Tower in early fall with six quick-service restaurants.

Newcomers making their debuts in Las Vegas include the New Orleans restaurant District: Donuts. Sliders. Brew.; Ghost Donkey, a New York-born tequila and mezcal cocktail bar; Nashville’s hot Southern chicken joint Hattie B’s Hot Chicken; Lardo from Portland chef Rick Gencarelli with a menu of over-the-top sandwiches; Ricker’s Pok Pok Wing from Portland; and Tekka Bar: Handroll & Sake, an original Japanese hand roll and sake restaurant from Las Vegas restaurateur Takashi Segawa of Mon Restaurant Group fame.

AvroKO, which designed Rose.Rabbit.Lie at the resort, is behind the decor here that features corrugated metal and polished concrete framed by steel, giving the space the feel of a street food market. A graffiti wall art collage as well as neon décor accents mimic an alley. Diners can sit at booths, high tops, and counters overlooking the kitchen.

District: Donuts. Sliders. Brew. out of New Orleans serves a menu of more than 100 rotating flavors of doughnuts that include chocolate blackout and bananas Foster. A roster of breakfast dishes includes made-from-scratch biscuit sandwiches and kolache, a sweet pastry dough filled with sweet and savory ingredients. For lunch and dinner, visitors can pick up waffle cheese fries, pork belly sliders, and savory doughnut sandwiches. Of course, the specialty coffee and espresso from the original arrive in Las Vegas, as do nitro cold brew, Vietnamese iced coffee, and house-made chocolate milk poured on draft.

Ghost Donkey brings its smorgasbord of tasting flights alongside specially crafted cocktails made with traditional Mexican spirits. Hungry drinkers should order the truffle nachos, one of the bar snacks on the menu.

Hattie B’s Hot Chicken out of Nashville brings hot chicken, Southern sides, and local brews in a casual, counter-service eatery. Diners should order the hot chicken with its bath of hot melted spices, and served in a variety of heat levels from Southern (no heat), mild, medium, hot, damn hot, and Shut the Cluck Up. Pimento mac and cheese, Southern greens, and local Nashville favorite, banana pudding come along for the ride.

Portland’s Lardo specializes in pork sandwiches including the griddled mortadella, a pork meatball banh mi with pickled vegetables and Sriracha mayo, and Lardo’s dirty fries, coupled with a selection of chef Gencarelli’s favorite beers on tap from Portland.

Get very excited for the arrival of Pok Pok Wingfrom Ricker that has its own cult following. Ike’s Vietnamese fish sauce wings feature a sweet, sticky glaze with crispy bites of caramelized garlic, and steam buns in fried chicken, sweet pork and tofu, while Pok Pok Wing’s Som Soda combines fizzy, sweet, and tart flavors made with ginger, Thai basil, grapefruit and turmeric.

 

Tekka Bar: Handroll & Sake from Segawa of Monta Ramen, Kabuto, and Sushi Mon fame offers a riff on the ancient gambling destination in Japan that hails from more than 100 years ago, with “Tekka Ba” translating to “old gambling place.” Dishes here include the tekka tuna roll with a spicy sauce, alongside a sake collection, hand rolls made at the counter, and seafood dishes featuring blue crab, yellowtail, salmon, and more.

Earlier paperwork from the project referred to it as the Blvd Market with a revamp of the second-level former Race & Sports book to create a 3,160-square-foot dining section. The area located opposite China Poblano and next to the Marquee nightclub entrance features an early estimated construction budget of $2 million.

All joins Holsteins, Milk Bar, Momofuku, and the enormously successful Eggslut, which prompted the recent addition of a designated seating area for casual diners next to the Chandelier Bar.

Last month, the Cosmopolitan announced plans to open a new Chinese restaurant this summer. Red Plate plans to serve Cantonese dishes in the former D.O.C.G. space on the third level of the resort. The restaurant slots in between Scarpettaand Beauty & Essex. Chef Yip Cheung, who runs the kitchen at the resort’s Talon Club, takes over Red Plate with a menu of roasted meats, Chinese hot pots, and dim sum.

[skipperj 377]

I’d eat there.

[Skipper 6,127]

Anyone done Bazaar Meat in the SLS?  Currently have that booked for a client dinner next week.  Could be persuaded to drop it but looking for someplace nobody in the group has tried which eliminates most of the steakhouses and Italian (although Scarpetta is an option).

[Armybrat 40,814]

Maybe some of you can spot your grandparents here....

[bigcigar 1,164]

1 hour ago, Skipper said:

Anyone done Bazaar Meat in the SLS?  Currently have that booked for a client dinner next week.  Could be persuaded to drop it but looking for someplace nobody in the group has tried which eliminates most of the steakhouses and Italian (although Scarpetta is an option).

I went there in March. It was good, but nothing really stood out. I’d go back to Scarpetta before bazaar meat - especially bc sls isn’t exactly close to anything

[RPM 26,315]

7 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Maybe some of you can spot your grandparents here....

[bigup2dahorns 3,343]

Latest rumor of potential Cosmo sale to Hard Rock

https://vitalvegas.com/cosmopolitan-sale-to-hard-rock-international/

[Brew 3,049]

That sucks. The Cosmo has been my preferred place to stay since it opened. 

[DFWTexEx 276]

On 5/1/2018 at 8:54 PM, Skipper said:

Anyone done Bazaar Meat in the SLS?  Currently have that booked for a client dinner next week.  Could be persuaded to drop it but looking for someplace nobody in the group has tried which eliminates most of the steakhouses and Italian (although Scarpetta is an option).

Yeah.  The restaurant is nice with terrific service.  The food is exceptional, definitely a steakhouse with a twist.  The apps and sides are, as you might expect for Andres, very creative and quirky.    The steaks are cooked over a wood fire, which you see as you come in.  This is nice, but it can take a long time to get a steak, especially if you order a big one to share.  So, have some drinks with the fun starters.  Also, you may leave smelling a little bit of smoke.    BUT the SLS is just a sad place, or at least it was the night we went.  It looks unfinished and empty.  The Bazaar Meat folks are really happy to see you and they treat you really well.  But, walking through that casino brings the night down.  It just got sold and the new owners say they are pumping another $100 mil into it to liven it up.  We'll see.  I don't think it will work until that entire North area of the strip gets going.

If you want the big meat experience in a more refined atmosphere (and a lot more of a traditional menu), go to CarneVino.

[Landomatic 3,813]

22 minutes ago, DFWTexEx said:

BUT the SLS is just a sad place, or at least it was the night we went.  It looks unfinished and empty.  But, walking through that casino brings the night down.  I don't think it will work until that entire North area of the strip gets going.

My experience as well.  We stopped in with the intention of eating at Bazaar Meat one night (had a reservation) and the SLS was so sleepy and quiet, we walked over to Bazaar Meat and canceled our reservation.  I didn't think it was even possible for a place to be that dead on the strip in Vegas.  I mean, even the dumpy places have a pulse from all the people trying to do Vegas on a budget.  The SLS was just a yawner and we weren't willing to waste a night there no matter how good the restaurant might have been.

[DFWTexEx 276]

The DMN just published a list "six new dining hotspots" in Las Vegas.

Once and Blacksheep sound promising, but laughing at this line:

Primrose at Park MGM will make you feel as if you’ve been transported to a bistro in Paris

Six New Dining Hotspots in Vegas

[Armybrat 40,814]

1% decline in number of Vegas visitors last year due to growing outrage/unhappiness with increasing resort & parking fees? That's 722,000 fewer than the year before.

http://www.latimes.com/travel/lasvegas/la-tr-las-vegas-fees-may-mean-fewer-visitors-20180501-story.html

Well duh!

We used to go 2 or 3 times/year starting in 1996 - rented cars too. Have only been back to Vegas twice since 2011 and no car rentals.

[Angry Gorilla 1,766]

6 hours ago, Brew said:

That sucks. The Cosmo has been my preferred place to stay since it opened. 

Same, hopefully they don't change anything if they buy it.  Staying there in August.

[Skipper 6,127]

13 hours ago, DFWTexEx said:

Yeah.  The restaurant is nice with terrific service.  The food is exceptional, definitely a steakhouse with a twist.  The apps and sides are, as you might expect for Andres, very creative and quirky.    The steaks are cooked over a wood fire, which you see as you come in.  This is nice, but it can take a long time to get a steak, especially if you order a big one to share.  So, have some drinks with the fun starters.  Also, you may leave smelling a little bit of smoke.    BUT the SLS is just a sad place, or at least it was the night we went.  It looks unfinished and empty.  The Bazaar Meat folks are really happy to see you and they treat you really well.  But, walking through that casino brings the night down.  It just got sold and the new owners say they are pumping another $100 mil into it to liven it up.  We'll see.  I don't think it will work until that entire North area of the strip gets going.

If you want the big meat experience in a more refined atmosphere (and a lot more of a traditional menu), go to CarneVino.

Thanks.  I think we're going to stick with Bazaar as it is pretty much the only steakhouse nobody in this group has tried before so will be a new experience.   As for Carnevino, it was great the first time I tried it 5 years ago, but my steaks have been incredibly average last 3 visits. It's a shame because great setup for big group dinners, but if I'm planning I think it's off my list at this point.

[Angry Gorilla 1,766]

There are some private rooms in the back of STK that are great for a big group

[Brew 3,049]

Paying to valet sucked worse than I expected after 10+ years of not paying, tipping the guys $10 or $20 at drop off, and always having the vehicle close by. It was $30 at the Bellagio for 24 hours. I wonder how much it is cutting into what the valets out here make because it was not busy at all.

[bigup2dahorns 3,343]

2 hours ago, Brew said:

Paying to valet sucked worse than I expected after 10+ years of not paying, tipping the guys $10 or $20 at drop off, and always having the vehicle close by. It was $30 at the Bellagio for 24 hours. I wonder how much it is cutting into what the valets out here make because it was not busy at all.

Yes, the valets are pissed at the parking fees and at ride sharing cutting into their tips and reducing their income quite a bit. They have complained to casino management to no avail at this point. Just about every property on the Strip has parking fees. I think the Venetian still has free self parking, but they also have the highest resort fee for their guests.

[Landomatic 3,813]

I think all the resorts did some kind of study on just how much money was going into all of their employees pockets as tip money to grease some wheels and decided that all needed to be going into their pockets.  Because it’s not just the valets.  I haven’t been able to grease my way into shit the last couple years and that used to be part of the fun.  Strict rules on everything and no amount of tipping seems to move the needle on it whatsoever.

I guess I’ll start tipping by the book now - 20% for good food service at restaurants and $20 to the guy who brings my bags to my room and that’s it.  Really feels like anything above that is just a waste of money for me as I no longer get anything in return.  The $20-$50-$100 handshake seems to have died.

[Hagbard Celine 10,848]

i hate vegas with a passion.  just spent 5 days inside the venetian/palazzo/sands-expo.  both are fantastic hotels and have endless restaurant options.  but vegas has been overrun by the ghetto.  not intending to be racist, but i've never seen more cholas, ink, fat hanging out of "clothes", in one place, at one time, in my entire life.  people with extremely low intellect, moving in random packs, stopping in the middle of aisles, basically making it impossible to get from anywhere to anywhere, including parking garage to check-in.  in fact, i think i saw more bridge and tunnel 2 weeks ago last night than i have previously in my entire life, by a factor of 1000.  by day 2 i managed to figure out the hacks to get to the sands by avoiding the casino which lowered my blood pressure.

odds?  vegas doesn't have to compete any more.  when the economy is good, they can fleece the lowest common denominator, feed the whales, and the rest of us can get fucked.

parking situation as of 1 year ago in LA Times (buncha places free) (article has links to guide to best pool scenes + guides to other stuff):

http://www.latimes.com/travel/deals/la-tr-las-vegas-free-parking-20170413-story.html

i would never spend my own money to go to vegas.  things i do when there on business to entertain others:

always rent a car from **** using the **** code for $***/day

arrive by 11am and you can have a great first day OFF THE STRIP.....1st stop the las vegas sign on the south strip for selfies; 2nd stop drive by the Sands Air Force FBO and gawk at the SPs, have never had a chance during m-f/8-5 to ask for a tour; 3rd stop right around the corner, see if the gate is open to drive down the side of the janet terminal and geek out.  4th stop, Atomic Museum, 5th stop check in, then drive to the 6th stop the desert view point by Mt. Charleston, gawk at the test site (1 time i got to see the T-birds practicing which from this vantage point is forking awesome), and get to 7th stop Red Rocks before they let the last car in at 6pm (typically).  8th stop downtown Summerlin or Redrocks Casino for food, 9th stop cruise Fremont just after sunset, 10th stop ******* pm for data, not sharing the last one publically, same as the best-value hotel.

 

the venetian and the palazzo are very good value for the quality; i will share by PM my secret go-to lodging location that's even better value.

[We’reTexas 1,473]

People rent cars in Vegas?

[Bill Brasky 1,443]

27 minutes ago, We’reTexas said:

People rent cars in Vegas?

It is better than walking to Red Rock, Mt. Charleston, and Hoover Dam.  

[Brew 3,049]

47 minutes ago, We’reTexas said:

People rent cars in Vegas?

I’ve always rented, but we do more off strip than on strip while out here. Just finished the best breakfast wrap/burrito anywhere at Mr. Mamas. It’s a definite stop for breakfast anytime in Vegas.

May have to rethink the whole rental deal though as that has gotten significantly more expensive now.

Edited May 6, 2018 by Brew

[Brew 3,049]

4 hours ago, Hagbard Celine said:

i hate vegas with a passion.  just spent 5 days inside the venetian/palazzo/sands-expo.  both are fantastic hotels and have endless restaurant options.  but vegas has been overrun by the ghetto.  not intending to be racist, but i've never seen more cholas, ink, fat hanging out of "clothes", in one place, at one time, in my entire life.  people with extremely low intellect, moving in random packs, stopping in the middle of aisles, basically making it impossible to get from anywhere to anywhere, including parking garage to check-in.  in fact, i think i saw more bridge and tunnel 2 weeks ago last night than i have previously in my entire life, by a factor of 1000.  by day 2 i managed to figure out the hacks to get to the sands by avoiding the casino which lowered my blood pressure.

This is a true statement. Plus the “olds” that are way past their sell by date walking around in next to nothing. We’ve stayed in the Cosmo the past few years and I’ve enjoyed the scenery. Staying at the Bellagio this year has been much different.

[Buzzrock 14,901]

That sucks. The Cosmo has been my preferred place to stay since it opened. 

There’s reasons

[Buzzrock 14,901]

Yeah.  The restaurant is nice with terrific service.  The food is exceptional, definitely a steakhouse with a twist.  The apps and sides are, as you might expect for Andres, very creative and quirky.    The steaks are cooked over a wood fire, which you see as you come in.  This is nice, but it can take a long time to get a steak, especially if you order a big one to share.  So, have some drinks with the fun starters.  Also, you may leave smelling a little bit of smoke.    BUT the SLS is just a sad place, or at least it was the night we went.  It looks unfinished and empty.  The Bazaar Meat folks are really happy to see you and they treat you really well.  But, walking through that casino brings the night down.  It just got sold and the new owners say they are pumping another $100 mil into it to liven it up.  We'll see.  I don't think it will work until that entire North area of the strip gets going.
If you want the big meat experience in a more refined atmosphere (and a lot more of a traditional menu), go to CarneVino.

Sounds like my experience at the steakhouse at Circus Circus. Incredible meal but getting too and from is just depressing.

[Buzzrock 14,901]

People rent cars in Vegas?

I used to before Uber, but ride sharing changed it all. You can go off strip now and not be worried about waiting an hour or more for a cab to get back. Plus the bullshit new parking fees. Doubt I’ll ever rent a car again unless I’m golfing.

[Underdog 28,543]

25 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

 

There’s reasons

 

She might be worth waking up in a bathtub packed in ice with a nice little note telling me to seek medical attention asap. 

[GreenspointTexas 9,598]

Bazaar Meats is one of the best restaurants in Vegas. Who gives a fuck about SLS? Youre going to Bazaar Meat for food, right?

 

The steak tartare was greatness. The A5 was also strong, and cocktails were excellent

 

cotton candy foie gras was same as E’ in cosmo, but bangin. The salmon cones were also cool. The steak the wife and I  split was  done a special way (can remember the name), and was arguably the best steak ive had in Vegas.

 

finished with the Foieffle (foie waffle) and Foie Gras smores. Waffle was meh, but the Smores stole the show

 

def in my vegas top 3. Up there with E’ and Joel Robuchon for us

[Native Horn 3,498]

19 hours ago, Brew said:

This is a true statement. Plus the “olds” that are way past their sell by date walking around in next to nothing. We’ve stayed in the Cosmo the past few years and I’ve enjoyed the scenery. Staying at the Bellagio this year has been much different.

At least they're next door to each other.  Lately been staying at Bellagio, but always spend some quality time at Cosmo.  

[Angry Gorilla 1,766]

I'm surprised Venetian/Palazzo has gone ghetto, but I don't get over there very often.  That's the reason I stopped staying at MGM, even though they were giving me by far the best comps when I quit.  I stopped staying at Encore because of the olds (and cost).  Cosmo is a great middle ground, but I'm only in Vegas for gambling, drinking, food, and club/pool party.  I rarely leave the premises unless I'm trying a new restaurant or club.

[Brew 3,049]

Don’t know if it was mentioned earlier but one positive to the paid parking is that MGM parking transfers between all properties. If you valet/self park overnight at 1, you can do the same at any of the other properties during that time frame. It worked well for dinner/show plans as the valet lines/waits were much shorter than the taxi lines.

Edited May 9, 2018 by Brew

[Armybrat 40,814]

My son & DIL used to stay at the Wynn, then the Cosmo. But now their preferred hotel is the Aria. That joint leaves me cold.

Our own last two trips we stayed at the Mirage - reasonable room rates and good location.

Screw those shitty resorts fees, but at least we got the 4 nights waived last summer.

As I mentioned above, my Vegas buds say the best gambling odds on the main part of the Strip are at the Cromwell (the old Barbary Coast, which used to be my favorite). Don't know about the Slots O' Fun in front of the Circus Circus. Haven't been in there for 15 years or so.

Edited May 11, 2018 by Armybrat

[Skipper 6,127]

Bazaar was a hit.  The apps and sides were awesome.  Great spanish wine rec.  We shared 2 of the  huge ribeyes and the chateubriand.  All very good.  Honestly, the steaks were solid but not better than any other high end place, but think the overall vibe/experience was perfect and client's mentioned one of their favorite meals they could recall.    Did Yellowtail at Bellagio the next night and also very good.   I've never been a huge sushi person, but everything I tried was awesome.   

[Brew 3,049]

Momofuku was solid and I highly recommend the buns and the noodle dishes. We went for a late lunch and the place was empty though. After a few days I was definitely surprised by how light all of the restaraunts crowds were. Prime, Momofuku, and several others all could have been walk ins with no reservations.

[bigup2dahorns 3,343]

MGM just announced they will be updating the Mirage this year and Bellagio next year. Monte Carlo is now rebranded Park MGM.

[Armybrat 40,814]

One afternoon in a Vegas casino conference room - a fly on the wall observation:

 

Quote

“To state the problem concisely gentlemen, we are being overrun with people coming to our casinos, gambling their money, eating in our restaurants and staying in our rooms.”, the executive paused for dramatic effect letting his words sink in. He could see the heads nodding and other signs of agreement.

“What can we do?” asked one, nervously playing with his pen.

“Let me share a couple of slides I’ve prepared” said the executive as he picked up a remote that turned on a slide projector. Another jumped up and turned out the lights in the conference room.

The first slide showed a long line snaking around the entrance to a buffet. Inside the buffet looked full with people crammed into booths and tables, with several harried looking servers carrying trays loaded with dirty dishes.

“Each one of you has a buffet and even with mediocre food, they come in like hogs to the trough to stuff themselves on fatty meats and cheap carbohydrates.”

A tall thin representative from one of the downtown casinos leapt to his feet and exclaimed, “I keep lowering the quality and raising the price but does that stop them?”

Several spoke up, “No, it doesn’t”, “It is like a swam of locust eating everything in their path.”

The executive clicked forward another slide. A bank of slot machines was pictured with a crowd of people standing behind the seated players in a narrow space. One player in the foreground had both hands raised in the air.

“Just look at that ugly bastard with the grin on his face” said the executive, “Just won some money no doubt.”

“That’s our money he’s taking!” yelled another.

“How much tighter can we set the pay outs?”, asked the man from downtown.

The entire room was now animated, several talking at once. The executive waited until the noise abated and clicked forward another slide. This time an unkempt hotel room was pictured with an unmade bed and towels strewn everywhere.

“This is what they leave behind” the executive solemnly intoned.

“It’s like a pig sty and don’t get me started on the bathroom” said one.

“Do you know what a halfway decent housekeeper earns these days?” said another.

The executive turned off the projector and the lights were turned back on.

“Gentlemen, what I propose is a kind of reverse comp system whereby we discourage these animals from visiting our casinos.” His assistant passed around binders neatly labeled with the words, “Emergency Action Plan.”

The binders were distributed and the executive continued, “Page one through five is the executive summary and each element of the plan has its own section with recommended steps.”

“Ideally, we get them not to come in the first place but if they do come through some kind of perverse habit, we need to make it expensive and uncomfortable enough so they won’t stay.”

“Given our proximity to California, we get a huge number of people driving here and parking in our garages. I propose that we charge them for parking.”

“Hey, that would be great but wouldn’t we have to hire parking lot attendants?” asked one.

“No”, replied the executive,” We handle this with automated kiosks.”

“What about Valet parking?”, asked another.

“We charge a premium for that as well and we charge in time increments. The longer they park, the more we charge!”

The executive flipped to a new section, “Please turn to tab 2 marked rooms. The more comfortable they are, the longer they stay. I suggest making sure that the thermostat cannot be adjusted too far down and let our natural Las Vegas heat help us. Don’t provide a full cover on the bed but rather a cheap section of fabric over the foot of the bed and work on the toiletries. “He held up what looked like two tubes of lip balm and a small wrapped bar of soap. “These smaller bottles contain shampoo and conditioner and this wafer is a reduced bar of soap.” This is made overseas and costs eight cents for everything.”

“Do they work?”, asked the man from downtown.

“Who cares?”, said the executive, we’re not going to be using them.”

Laughter rippled through the room.

The executive held up a small three by five card. “There are enough environmentalists in California to be taken in by this bit.” He read aloud, “Help save the planet by not changing out your sheets and towels.”

One asked, “Do you think they’d fall for that?”

“They eat Kale, don’t they?”

More laughter followed.

The executive walked them through sections on resort fees, making slot clubs indecipherable and how to limit the amounts and quality of comp drinks provided.

“Remember that overworked staff are more likely to be surly and rude to the hordes” he said, “And you’ll be reducing your labor costs.”

The executive was pleased to see the ideas so enthusiastically embraced. People were flipping through the binders, making notes and happily talking over particular points with one another.

“The important thing to remember”, he said, “Is that we all have to act the same but not at the same time. One group can gradually introduce some of these changes and then six months later, the next group can say something like we reviewed market conditions and will be instituting paid parking.”

The group grabbed their binders and headed back to their respective casinos. Traffic was brutal. “Not for long”, thought the executive.

And Benny spun in his grave again.
 

 

[Landomatic 3,813]

Anyone been to STK recently?  Last time I went, I felt like it was slipping a little.  Kind of dead.  Seems like it might have been on a Tuesday or something though so I don't know if I can hold that against STK.

[Skipper 6,127]

I was there on a Friday last September and it was packed, but in general I don't think it's as difficult to get a table as it used to be.