Is anyone playing ancestor roulette for Christmas?

[Wally Fairway 5587]

Mrs. Fairway for a long time has done family tree research, reaching out to many people in her family.
Next week we are giving DNA test to family members, both to find out the results but it is also kind of a prank gift thing.

It's a prank until it come back with the result - "You are not genetically part of this family, or are genetically 1/2 part of this family"
It could be like a reverse Maury Povich show

https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-46600325

Quote

This Christmas it's likely that more people than ever before will spit into a tube, or swab some cheek cells and send the result off for DNA analysis. Millions in the US have already done it, and the craze is spreading. But what happens when you find out a lot more than you were expecting?

 

[High Plains Drifter 11052]

Considering my family, I would be relived to discover such a thing about me.

[Brisketexan 105354]

You chuckle.  My mother comes from....a less than stable background.  We already knew it was a mess.  Turns out to be even more so.  The woman she has known as her half-sister her whole life?  Nope.  They had the same dad...or they thought they did, till the DNA showed that they aren't related at all.  Turns out my NOLA alcoholic grandma was a bit of a tramp in her younger days.  So, I have the man who later adopted my mom - he is who I knew as my grandfather, he was a really good old S. Texas man, but not a blood relative.  Then I have the man who I knew as my natural grandfather - he was a worthless piece of alcoholic shit who killed himself when I was in high school.  Now, we have the man who is my ACTUAL natural grandfather -- he was a prominent NOLA physician who was a noted philanderer (mom connected with a woman who showed up as her ACTUAL genetic half-sister, and she was able to fill in the blanks on the actual dad).

Frankly, having half my family from NOLA roots, that actually seems like the perfect NOLA story/outcome.  Just typical southern gothic drinking, philandering, and drama -- typical NOLA.  Tennessee Williams wouldn't even write about it because it's so ordinary and predictable.

[Whitman 694]

36 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Mrs. Fairway for a long time has done family tree research, reaching out to many people in her family.
Next week we are giving DNA test to family members, both to find out the results but it is also kind of a prank gift thing.

It's a prank until it come back with the result - "You are not genetically part of this family, or are genetically 1/2 part of this family"
It could be like a reverse Maury Povich show

 

 

Kind of not an issue/possibility out in this part of the country ....   /WV

 

Quote

It could be like a reverse Maury Povich show

I think that is called the Jerry Springer Show.

 

PS:  I wonder if anyone has ever been on both.

[Wiler77 1576]

Honestly this is what keeps me from doing those tests.  I have had some drunken flings in my youth--not a ton but a few.  And in a number of those flings I never saw the girl again.  What if somewhere along the way I slipped one past the goalie?  No way on this fucking earth do I want to know that.

Similar reason why I'm not on Facebook.  I keep in touch with the people I want to keep in touch with.  Others don't need access to my life.

['stache 21873]

I figured this meant you'd be fucking your sister and hoping the baby didn't come out retarded.

[RPM 26355]

Personally, I don't see the upside of giving my DNA (and cash) to a private company that gives me rather generic background genetic info in return and keeps everything else to sell to the highest bidder(s).

 

But that's just me.

[SDG 3319]

You’re about to find out you have a serial killer in the family. 

 

http://time.com/5256835/how-did-golden-state-killer-genealogy-websites-online-dna-police/

 

Edited December 20, 2018 by SDG

[Fudge Nuggets 19225]

Does no one talk to their old relatives any more?

[AUS-97HORN 11824]

Just now, RPM said:

Personally, I don't see the upside of giving my DNA (and cash) to a private company that gives me rather generic background genetic info in return and keeps everything else to sell to the highest bidder(s).

 

But that's just me.

unfortunately, with enough Americans having already taken these tests over the last 5 years, and then allowing their generic genome be uploaded for everyone to see,  enough of your DNA is already in the cloud to allow.... with a bit of research, a direct link to you.

Its how the Golden State Killer (POS ex-cop) was found earlier this year.

My brother did it because his in-laws gave it as a present 3 years ago, and there are a fuck-ton of 5th & 6th cousins from Ireland who keep trying to message him.  He is anonymous in the system, and never responds, but the testing tool allows you to try and message relatives. 

Hes not really interested in finding out why so many folks in Ireland that shared G-G-G-G-G-Grandparents from more than 100 years ago want to contact him

[Guest]

Figured thread title was about getting laid.  

As an adoptee, it’s about the best to be hoped for in this regard. 

[RDCanecutter 26473]

7 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Does no one talk to their old relatives any more?

You mean, like, look up from the phone?

I had a great aunt and a gramama who could freestyle family stories of amazing detail. long after their deaths, I got holt of old photos that basically confirm everything. But they wouldn't have made much sense without the background stories.

[Beau Vine 54432]

This sounds terrible, this idea.

[kevwun 15915]

Yeah, it's all fun and games until it ends in divorce because someone finds out they're not the father of a kid they raised.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

16 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

This sounds terrible, this idea.

If a cousin gave me this as a gift, I would say thanks and tell them that I will get back to them at some later date with the results.  Then the box would get thrown in the trash when i got home.

Hopefully at least 1 family member will the tell the OP to FO.

 

I really don't understand why one sibling would ask their sibling to take the DNA unless you want to find out your mom strayed at some point.  Wouldn't two siblings have the same ancestry?    Or why a mom and dad, who've taken the dna test, then ask their kids to do so.  Why not just burn a $100 bill instead.

Edited December 20, 2018 by Nice Guy Eddie

[EE2B 1565]

My niece (wife’s side) has three kids by at least two different fathers. We think that the youngest is by someone other than the guy she is married to now. I told my mother-in-law that I was going to give the niece one of these for Christmas so she could determine who each kid belonged to. She did not appreciate my gift idea.

[tantric superman 4667]

We like to dance at our family holiday parties.  No time for DNA.

 

[RPM 26355]

Back in the late 60's early 70's My Granddad's half-sister did a pretty thorough genealogy going back to England then the trail went cold. The cool thing is she was able to get some real interesting stories from the oldest living family members (some were in their 90's). Not going to speculate on the truthfulness of all the stories, but they were interesting.

Apparently, I have relatives that were pardoned by Lincoln during the Civil War. They were two brothers that were talented singers and dancers that joined the Confederate Army in Mississippi. They were captured and put in a prison camp outside Washington. One day the guards come get them and said they were being taken to the White House. They both thought they were going to be executed as examples. They arrive at the WH and are taken to see Lincoln who says he was told they were talented entertainers and asked for a demonstration. Must have been a good audition because Lincoln had them cleaned up, given new clothes and they were the entertainment for dinner that evening. Following dinner they were both given pardons and set free.

I have no idea if any of this is true, but it's in the genealogy and it's a csb.

[CooterBrown 18031]

I should get my 23&me results in early JAN.

It’ll be interesting to see if there’s anything in my dad’s paternal side. From my, admittedly shallow, research, there are no relatives at all. Everyone either had 1 kid or no kids even though all were married going back to the guy that got off the boat from Alsace. I would think there’s some unknown births in there somewhere.

On my mom’s side, I’m sure something will pop up. Probably from her brothers. I know of at least two women that claim a kid is one of theirs but they don’t know which brother since they tag teamed both of those chicks.

[RDCanecutter 26473]

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I really don't understand why one sibling would ask their sibling to take the DNA unless you want to find out your mom strayed at some point.  Wouldn't two siblings have the same ancestry?    Or why a mom and dad, who've taken the dna test, then ask their kids to do so.  Why not just burn a $100 bill instead.

You get half from mom and half from dad, but it probably won't be the exact same half from each. Entire sections of your ancestry could be missing in your dna, but show up in siblings, and vice-versa.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

43 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

You get half from mom and half from dad, but it probably won't be the exact same half from each. Entire sections of your ancestry could be missing in your dna, but show up in siblings, and vice-versa.

Makes sense. But still I don't understand the entire idea of turning over your DNA to a company for some laughs.

[Kavinsky 417]

5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

  Just typical southern gothic drinking, philandering, and drama -- typical NOLA.  Tennessee Williams wouldn't even write about it because it's so ordinary and predictable.

Faulkner would have written you in as another Benjy Compson

[Deej 76928]

It's becoming so difficult to become an effective serial killer these days.

[Brisketexan 105354]

Faulkner would have written you in as another Benjy Compson

More than fair.
And I fucking hate Faulkner.

[Helobious 9464]

I was around middle school age when I asked my mom about our heritage. Her exact quote was something like “all of your older relatives are from Mexico, most of your real old ones are from Spain probably”. Made sense to me. 

But I guess some people feel the need to send their DNA somewhere to be told something similar. 

[futureman 22547]

4 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Makes sense. But still I don't understand the entire idea of turning over your DNA to a company for some laughs.

I don’t get it either.  no way in hell. 

[NorthLoop 14248]

31 minutes ago, futureman said:

I don’t get it either.  no way in hell. 

you're not interested in the past? 

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

7 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

you're not interested in the past? 

I’ve studied my genealogy back to the 1700 and even 1600s for a few ancestors, but a dna test would tell me little.   

But probably the main reason is that why do I want to place my dna sample in a database is privacy.   And don’t tell me that it’s secure and I can delete the data when I want.   Many security breaches tell us that companies either ignore those requests or make mistakes.

 

[Underdog 28773]

17 hours ago, 'stache said:

I figured this meant you'd be fucking your sister and hoping the baby didn't come out retarded.

Is this wrong? 

 

Pretty sure half of family on Pops side fucked each other.  The woman I grew up believing was an Aunt was really my Grandmother, she had pops out of wedlock and he was raised by his Grandmother(my GGM).  I didn’t find out about any of this until my adulthood. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19225]

13 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Makes sense. But still I don't understand the entire idea of turning over your DNA to a company for some laughs.

People are stupid.  That explain it clear enough?

[Wally Fairway 5587]

13 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Makes sense. But still I don't understand the entire idea of turning over your DNA to a company for some laughs.

People bought rocks in a box (aka Pet Rocks) for laughs, what more do you need to know?

[Parliament 14313]

Yeah this is dumb for several reasons. For one, why in God's Creation would you turn your genetic makeup over to a Corporation.

And having your entire family do it, and risk identifying mothers, aunts, sisters who stepped out, is a great way to land in the "Bitch about your family thread."

Wally, I'm your friend, and I hope you'll heed my warning:
Do
Not
Do it

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

19 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Turns out my NOLA alcoholic grandma was a bit of a tramp in her younger days. 

Say hello to your new Grandpa: @Armybrat

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

31 minutes ago, Parliament said:

Yeah this is dumb for several reasons. For one, why in God's Creation would you turn your genetic makeup over to a Corporation.
 

No question. I don't want my DNA showing up on some dead body because Bob in shipping dropped the package on the loading dock.

[phdhorn 6224]

My ancestors were largely located in the Balkan area (Serbia, Croatia, etc.) and up there in Hungary.

They've killed each other by day (cf. latest Balkan war in 80's and 90's) and screwed each other's wives and daughters by night for most of the past 1,500 years.

No ancestry hunt is going to improve on that.  I don't need to know anything else.

[tantric superman 4667]

Yeah.  Going to take a while to breed the nazi out of your tree, phd.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

My criticism of anyone that hands these tests as gifts is that its obvious that not everyone wants to do it.  Why put people in an awkward position especially when you might be wasting your money.  Not everyone thinks its a great idea.

 

[El Diablo 4232]

13 hours ago, Helobious said:

I was around middle school age when I asked my mom about our heritage. Her exact quote was something like “all of your older relatives are from Mexico, most of your real old ones are from Spain probably”. Made sense to me. 

But I guess some people feel the need to send their DNA somewhere to be told something similar. 

I thought most Mexicans got their blood from the natives and got their language from Spain.

[CooterBrown 18031]

13 hours ago, Helobious said:

I was around middle school age when I asked my mom about our heritage. Her exact quote was something like “all of your older relatives are from Mexico, most of your real old ones are from Spain probably”.

The problem is that the truth is often hazy, incorrectly recalled, assumed, and often flat out wrong.

My great grandma was from Mexico and only spoke Spanish.  Great grandpa was Mexican too...spoke mostly Spanish but okay English as well. My grandma spoke Spanish to her parents.  My dad and his siblings always just assumed they were half Mexican until one day my grandma corrected them.

Great grandma's parents were from Germany but she was born and raised in Mexico until they moved to Texas when she was around 16.  Great Grandpa was born in Spain, was raised in Guyana, and immigrated to Texas at 20. As far as my grandmother knew, he'd never even been to Mexico in his life.

[phdhorn 6224]

3 hours ago, tantric superman said:

Yeah.  Going to take a while to breed the nazi out of your tree, phd.

Ladies and gentlemen, behold one of our cloak room tards cloaking this thread up in all of his glory.  don't even need words for this, it's pretty self-explanatory. This is the kind of shit that hangs out in the cloakroom.

Several of my relatives were displaced and even killed by the Nazis during the Balkan campaign of 1941.  Hah hah ho ho hee!!

 

 

 

 

[RDCanecutter 26473]

18 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Makes sense. But still I don't understand the entire idea of turning over your DNA to a company for some laughs.

I did it because a nice lady showed up who thought she was my half-sister. Her high school photos looked like a better-looking female me. Turned out we're cousins, so I don't know if we're supposed to get married now, or just shack up.

My test confirmed that I am a Big White Dude, which will be helpful for anybody who is picking me up from the airport and is looking for the Big White Dude.

If it helps catch a 4th cousin who's running around killin and rapin, fine by me. He should have upped his game.

[RDCanecutter 26473]

15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

More than fair.
And I fucking hate Faulkner.

He is a bit wordy.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

11 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

 Turned out we're cousins, so I don't know if we're supposed to get married now, or just shack up.

Don't make me get my shotgun, son.

[RDCanecutter 26473]

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

I thought most Mexicans got their blood from the natives and got their language from Spain.

There was a ton of mixing. I saw somewhere that they estimated about 40% Spanish, 6% African, a smidge of Chinese, and the rest Native, heavy on the female side. That's an average which is not really what any given Mexican has, as opposed to, say, Chileans who are more evenly mixed. Mexicans can be anything from pure European to mostly Native. Back in the old days, Indios didn't pay all the same taxes, so you'd have all sorts of half-Indio people claiming that background on the census.

After the Mexican Revolution, to keep all these different folks from slaughtering each other, the Gummint put out the idea that everybody was a mestizo, so just settle down.

Google Caste Paintings if you want to see all the terms they had for various mixes in Colonial Mexico.

As for language, other than words for food and New World animals, Mexican Spanish is often truer to older styles of speech than Spain Spanish is.

[RDCanecutter 26473]

4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Don't make me get my shotgun, son.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Yup. Better check your DNA before I wreck your DNA.

[po elvis 2076]

7 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I’ve studied my genealogy back to the 1700 and even 1600s for a few ancestors, but a dna test would tell me little.   

But probably the main reason is that why do I want to place my dna sample in a database is privacy.   And don’t tell me that it’s secure and I can delete the data when I want.   Many security breaches tell us that companies either ignore those requests or make mistakes.

 

wait until you see what the government gets these days from newborns at hospitals.

[tantric superman 4667]

1 hour ago, phdhorn said:

Ladies and gentlemen, behold one of our cloak room tards cloaking this thread up in all of his glory. 

And such a serious thread, too.

Sorry for you loss(es) over the last 1500 years.

[phdhorn 6224]

19 minutes ago, tantric superman said:

And such a serious thread, too.

Sorry for you loss(es) over the last 1500 years.

Well, if that was sarcasm, no meter invented can go that high. If it wasn't, it's nothing more than the typical drivel that comes out of CR.  Either way,

Fröhliche Weihnachten!  Heil Hitler!!

[tantric superman 4667]

Hope you chill out at some point over the holidays, Nancy.   Merry Christmas.

I'll put you on ignore so I resist any urge to rif on what looked like you riffing on your ancestors. 

Ustaše - serious business.

 

Edited December 21, 2018 by tantric superman