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2018 Shart Thread

Roofle

By Roofle
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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21887

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I never thought I’d contribute to this thread.  I have had major constipation lately, so I took a couple of Dulcolax last night.  Still couldn’t shit in the morning.  Church, brunch, and watching a little golf.  Had to fart, or so I thought.  I gambled.  And lost.  And I come here in shame.

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Roofle

Roofle 273

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This was always one of the more entertaining threads on Shaggy, but I really don't understand how grown-ass adults shit their pants.  My 6 year old has a problem with it.  I don't expect the same after about 4th grade.
 

Fuck you, toilet-shitter
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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21887

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On 4/1/2018 at 5:34 PM, B1G said:

What about the plastic knife turd cutting wife?

A buddy of mine took a dump on board the boat and it got drydocked inside the bowl.  He had to cut it up with a plastic knife to get it to flush.  We had many laughs over that.

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After irth

After irth 1244

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Broke the seal this morn. Copious amounts of spicy smoked Chicken Tacos washed down with a more than acceptable amount of XX. 

Feeling the gurgle and getting a good Kegel workout as I make coffee this morn, feed the cat, and wait for my wife (no pics) to emerge from her morning routine. 

I usually hang out and see her out the door before starting my day. Kegels are strong as we briefly converse in the kitchen, but I can feel the seals failing. Dam burst is imminent. 

Do the clenched butt-cheek shuffle across the house to my favorite throne, pull down the shorts, and...whoo!...there’s some serious gooey skidmark action going on there. So much worse than I thought...damn. How did THAT get past me?

A bit of unexpected laundry added to the agenda this morn. After I crack a cold Dos, that is...

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31536

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On 4/20/2018 at 7:32 PM, Parliament said:

Never thought I'd post in this thread...

Coming off of a nasty chest cold. Was out for a walk tonight, trying to get back into the swing of things and I started to feel that "gurgling" down below. Then can a sneeze. And I broke the seal.

During my latest round of allergies/chest cold, something was giving me borderline runs.  Waltussin DM, NyQuil or DayQuil, not sure which.

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Monty86

Monty86 60

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On 4/1/2018 at 4:52 PM, Wiler77 said:

This was always one of the more entertaining threads on Shaggy, but I really don't understand how grown-ass adults shit their pants.  My 6 year old has a problem with it.  I don't expect the same after about 4th grade.

 

I assume you haven't reached your late-40s / early 50s yet?  If not just be patient, your time is coming.

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Druggist

Druggist 303

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Ordered pulled pork nachos on Sunday and subbed in fries for the chips.  Qualified for the thread just after lunch at work yesterday when I tried to fart while pissing.  Had to go without underwear the rest of the day.  Thank god I was already in the bathroom when it happened.

Never imagined myself contributing to this thread, but here I am nonetheless.  I’m turning 42 soon and apparently need to be on my guard from here on out.  Sonofabitch.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8821

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16 hours ago, Druggist said:

Ordered pulled pork nachos on Sunday and subbed in fries for the chips.  Qualified for the thread just after lunch at work yesterday when I tried to fart while pissing.  Had to go without underwear the rest of the day.  Thank god I was already in the bathroom when it happened.

Never imagined myself contributing to this thread, but here I am nonetheless.  I’m turning 42 soon and apparently need to be on my guard from here on out.  Sonofabitch.

damn. almost 2 full days of build up too behind those pulled pork nachos. i bet the aftermath was horrifying 

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pacman

pacman 7371

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Narrowly avoided, it was that thick...

 

We need a close call shart thread...

 

Or, is this a discussion of definition? Is it a shart if it doesn't break the tight seal of your crack?

Edited by pacman
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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21887

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On 5/1/2018 at 11:57 AM, Druggist said:

Ordered pulled pork nachos on Sunday and subbed in fries for the chips.  Qualified for the thread just after lunch at work yesterday when I tried to fart while pissing.  Had to go without underwear the rest of the day.  Thank god I was already in the bathroom when it happened.

Never imagined myself contributing to this thread, but here I am nonetheless.  I’m turning 42 soon and apparently need to be on my guard from here on out.  Sonofabitch.

It's OK.  You're among friends now.

giphy.gif

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21887

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On 6/10/2018 at 8:55 AM, millhouse said:

Getting my reservation in early. 3 days away from finishing another 30 days in India. I've been playing with fire for the past 27. British Airways better have the FWD lav ventilation system cranked up to 11.

If you can go 30 days in India without sharting...hell, full explosive diarrhea... you would be in the Iron Gut Hall of Fame. 

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'stache

'stache 21866

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I don't have any data to back this up, but I have the gut feeling that peak shart season roughly corresponds to hurricane season. 

Beer, burgers, and watermelon tomorrow. I suspect tomorrow could be an active day for this thread.
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