Tiny penis? Blame your cookware.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Reason number 3,744 why cast iron skillets are just plain better.

Study: Non-Stick Pans Make Your Penis Smaller

DECEMBER 26, 2018 AT 2:06 PM

The chemicals in Teflon and other non-stick cookware reduce testosterone, shrink penises, and contribute to infertility, a new study says

 

Researchers examined 200 men who grew up drinking water contaminated with perfluoroalkyl chemicals and found they have significantly smaller penises and less mobile sperm than those who grew up with clean water.

The chemicals, commonly referred to as PFCs, are widely used in non-stick pots and pans, fast-food packaging and to make carpets and other fabrics water-repellent and stain-resistant.

The men studied were from one of four locations in the world known to be heavily polluted with PFCs, the Veneto region of Padua Italy.

The other three locations are in the Netherlands, China and in the Mid-Ohio Valley of West Virginia, where DuPont dumped the chemicals into a river and then tried to cover it up.

Researchers from the University of Padua examined 383 male high-school students, including 212 who had been exposed to PFCs, in northeast Italy.

They took participant’s blood to measure sexual hormones, examined semen samples, and measured penis length and circumference, testicular volume and anogenital distance.

Participants who weren’t exposed to PFCs had an average penis length of 3.94 inches, compared to 3.44 inches in those who had. Exposed men were also one-fifth of an inch less girthy.

[WhatTheBuck 28904]

Blame your cockware. 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11856]

Guess I’ll have to stop spraying my fleshlight with this stuff then.   

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

26 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Guess I’ll have to stop spraying my fleshlight with this stuff then.   

 

Only if you don't mind having a rusty Johnson.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8964]

Ive been using teflon because I need to shrink

[Judge Roybeanbag 11856]

2 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Only if you don't mind having a rusty Johnson.

He looks small penisy.

[El Diablo 4232]

The other three locations are in ..., China and...]

Not surprised about this one, people have warned for years about the dangers of a slippery slope.

Edited December 30, 2018 by El Diablo

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

2 hours ago, El Diablo said:

 

Not surprised about this one, people have warned for years about the dangers of a slippery slope.

[Kyle 207]

Can my wife sue my mom for all those omelettes growing up?

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

1 minute ago, Kyle said:

Can my wife sue my mom for all those omelettes growing up?

Sorry. You're the genetic control group.

[Deej 77676]

Cast iron makes your penis bigger.

[Degenerate Gardner 4135]

I blame the penis shrinking on penini proliferation.

[El Diablo 4232]

1 hour ago, Deej said:

Cast iron makes your penis bigger.

Folks call it "black iron" for a reason.

[JohnnyRage 1617]

So me being to lazy to cook...

or take-out fucked me?

[wood 11747]

10 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Ive been using teflon because I need to shrink

Me, too. Guess I'm not using enough though. Dang.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11856]

16 hours ago, Deej said:

Cast iron makes your penis bigger.

Yeah but you really shouldn’t leave the skillet tied on the end for more than 4 hours. 

['stache 22118]

How do scientists get consent for this type of study?

“Hi, I’m a scientist. Can I please measure your dick and balls?”

“Why”

“Because your water is poisoned.”

“So you’ll help get the water cleaned?”

“No, we really just care to measure your penis girth.”

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s science”

“Oh, ok.”

[Upgrayedd 5862]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Yeah but you really shouldn’t leave the skillet tied on the end for more than 4 hours. 

Welp.  Be right back.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Yeah but you really shouldn’t leave the skillet tied on the end for more than 4 hours. 

Yeah, I usually take it off after about four sets of penis curls.

[Guest Lobo]

Beware the man teaching your wife at culinary school with just a long stick and open flame. 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

But if you’re a girl it makes you sexy as hell?

[Llano Estacado 1257]

But if you’re a girl it makes you sexy as hell?

Something, something, NonGMO, certified organic Extra Virgin!

Heeeeyyyyyooo!

[NeverMarryAStripper 22247]

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

How do scientists get consent for this type of study?

“Hi, I’m a scientist. Can I please measure your dick and balls?”

“Why”

“Because your water is poisoned.”

“So you’ll help get the water cleaned?”

“No, we really just care to measure your penis girth.”

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s science”

“Oh, ok.”

I'm sure it's really pretty easy.  They just hire a young hot woman and dress her in a short tight skirt.  She'll get all the dick and ball measurements they could want in about an hour.  I'm sure it's those clit measurement studies that are a bitch.

Edited December 31, 2018 by NeverMarryAStripper

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

22 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

What exactly are you looking at/taking to get your penis errect while a pan is tied around it.

Asking for a friend.

Duh. Iron Woman.

[elfenix 34662]

Just now, Walden Ponderer said:

Duh. Iron Woman.

weird toes, would not bang

[Liquor and Poker 3659]

“Participants who weren’t exposed to PFCs had an average penis length of 3.94 inches, compared to 3.44 inches in those who had.”

sounds like there was already an issue.

[El Diablo 4232]

I'm having a hard time getting a grip on this story.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

12 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

I'm having a hard time getting a grip on this story.

Sounds like you ought to stop using teflon on your dong, and start using sandpaper, instead.

['stache 22118]

17 minutes ago, Liquor and Poker said:

“Participants who weren’t exposed to PFCs had an average penis length of 3.94 inches, compared to 3.44 inches in those who had.”

sounds like there was already an issue.

No that's normal. Us Surly's are just super huge.

[Degenerate Gardner 4135]

Keep your hands off my cockware.

[Doc Reeves 6434]

5 hours ago, 'stache said:

How do scientists get consent for this type of study?

“Hi, I’m a scientist. Can I please measure your dick and balls?”

“Why”

“Because your water is poisoned.”

“So you’ll help get the water cleaned?”

“No, we really just care to measure your penis girth.”

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s science”

“Oh, ok.”

They just go to India and pay 10/week for people living in toxic waste to go thru crazy Med experiments. 

You should look into it’s fucked up as hell. It’s what made my mom get out of medical clinical testing 

Edited December 31, 2018 by Doc Reeves

[Murfdogg21 4553]

You think it’s awkward asking an Italian boy for a semen sample? How about that “anogenital distance”, from the center of the anus to the beginning of the scrotum. LOL University of Padua full of some sick bastards. 

[Deej 77676]

Taint nothing but a thang.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

19 hours ago, Murfdogg21 said:

 LOL University of Padua full of some sick bastards. 

It's because all their women are shrews.

['stache 22118]

Did they account for the yaw?

[gecko 1104]

so its my wife's fault?  wait 'til I tell her....

[Underdog 29108]

Why I always went with copper. 

[El Diablo 4232]

6 hours ago, gecko said:

so its my wife's fault?  wait 'til I tell her....

It's her cooking.