Donald Trump 2019

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

7 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

I love this dumb country.

Say what you want, but you know we’re the only country that values human life.

[Nivek 16753]

Say what you want, but you know we’re the only country that values human life.

Proof?

[HenryJames 65817]

 

[shnsajax 3589]

I do like that he threw in #2020.  We all know what Wall is about. 

I actually think we are getting closer to it being over now. He’s built his political rally cry for 2020 while getting ready to act like the savior for opening up the government again.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

2 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Proof?

We don’t do that anymore.

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

9 hours ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

 "Playing with Barron"?  At least come up with something plausible.

He cut his hand stealing quarters out of Barron's piggy bank to pay for his fast food buffet. 

[HenryJames 65817]

23 minutes ago, retread said:

eh, take it out of petty cash

 

This reflects poorly on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

[Red Five 40574]

I saw a bumper sticker driving in to work this morning. “Putin/Trump: Make America Great Again”.

Now, y’all may find this hard to believe, but it was on the back of an old truck being driven by an old white man.

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861]

1 minute ago, Red Five said:

I saw a bumper sticker driving in to work this morning. “Putin/Trump: Make America Great Again”.

 

I can no longer tell sincerity from snark.

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

17 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

 

Cribs from Lou Dobbs, then adds a lie about them working 100% of the time.

[RomaVicta 29699]

13 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Conservatives aren't funny. 

They are completely irony-deaf. They think any attempt made by a conservative to be funny is by definition funny. If the attempt is against liberals, it's hilarious.

I will give credit where it's due. In the 80s, the sticker appeared on campus stating

Vote GOP, it's easier than thinking.

The answer was

Vote Democrat, it's easier than working.

Nice exchange. Been pretty much a conservative wit desert since then.

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20332]

https://media.giphy.com/media/1QjzdN6Q3HTrwqmKGH/giphy.gif

[Biff Tannen 45432]

1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

 

FUCKING LOL.  450 of that 800 is to keep out reindeer, according to the next tweet.

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861]

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

FUCKING LOL.  450 of that 800 is to keep out reindeer, according to the next tweet.

and I GUARANTEE that wall isn't 100% effective.

 

 

[horncyclist 1384]

FUCKING LOL.  450 of that 800 is to keep out reindeer, according to the next tweet.

Holy shit. I can't stop laughing. He just needs a reindeer caravan to scare people into supporting the wall. Maybe carrying a fat guy on a sleigh. He should have thought about this a month ago.

[RomaVicta 29699]

The upcoming Cohen testimony and other expected public testimony before Congress has me wondering about something.

For GOPs, wild revelations about Trump's sanity, character, and traitorous collaboration with Russia may actually have a bright side for the party as a whole not that I wish it for them.

Individual GOPs will not be blamed for the disclosures that prove this is not a hoax witch hunt. They may actually get credit from the Trump base for staying loyal. The Dems put the knife in him, not us!

They can then do their best Captain Renault in Rick's: We're shocked! Shocked to learn that collusion is going on here! Round up the usual suspects!

GOPs with safe seats can turn on Trump and help get him ousted.

All the elected GOPs that are complicit will be jettisoned while the slimeballs who remain will have their best chance to wrest leadership of their party from Trumpists. It's too late for that, but it's still the best shot for any garden variety faux conservative, faux family values, and faux Christian GOP to cobble together something that will keep them in office.

Somebody else will have prosecuted/persecuted Donald Trump. Somebody else whom we have expelled was part of the GOP-Russian problem. Let's get back to the old ways and the old days where the hate engine was under (our) control. Waddayasay?

[RomaVicta 29699]

13 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

FUCKING LOL.  450 of that 800 is to keep out reindeer, according to the next tweet.

This was inevitable. But still, walls work! Fuckin' reindeer!

[Anastasis 23316]

1 hour ago, Nivek said:

Proof?

Check the dumpster behind the planned parenthood.

[Hugo Stiglitz 23355]

 

[texastough 1128]

1 hour ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Cribs from Lou Dobbs, then adds a lie about them working 100% of the time.

“Close to 100% Successful”*

 

* at enclosing reindeer 

Edited January 16, 2019 by texastough

[bad_teammate 13098]

5 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

Check the dumpster behind the planned parenthood.

Signed,

Definitely a Very Centrist Guy and Not a Right-Wing Hack at All

[Hugo Stiglitz 23355]

Moscow (AFP) - A top Kremlin aide on Wednesday dismissed as ridiculous claims that US President Donald Trump has acted as an agent for Russia amid mounting controversy over his alleged ties to Moscow.

"Why comment on something stupid? How can the US president be an agent of another country?" President Vladimir Putin's foreign policy advisor Yuri Ushakov told a briefing after a journalist if Trump was a Russian agent.

https://news.yahoo.com/kremlin-says-stupid-suggest-trump-russian-agent-133748400.html

Not exactly a denial.

[retread 2951]

Trump would be proud of the way he answered.

[4th&Five 41441]

 

[Chooky 13291]

This photo is from an article about T-Mobile's merger needing Trump's approval and a ridiculous amount of money spent by T-Mobile execs in Trump's hotel.  But the guy's hair on the far left interests me more.  How does that happen?  Did someone say "okay, tape it on there and let me have a look.  Excellent.  That looks great.  Run with it and never look back!  Don't forget that when you take it off at night your wife is contractually obligated to play this slide whistle sound effect that we've installed on her phone.  You're also obligated to tip it like a hat to the crowd if you ever receive a standing ovation."

Edited January 16, 2019 by Chooky

[Hugo Stiglitz 23355]

5 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

 

First two minutes of this video should clear this up.

 

[Chooky 13291]

9 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

 

That makes it sound kind of dire.  I personally don't think you can find anyone more trustworthy than a former KGB agent.  What's the big deal?

[Chad Fuck 17454]

15 minutes ago, Chooky said:

This photo is from an article about T-Mobile's merger needing Trump's approval and a ridiculous amount of money spent by T-Mobile execs in Trump's hotel.  But the guy's hair on the far left interests me more.  How does that happen?  Did someone say "okay, tape it on there and let me have a look.  Excellent.  That looks great.  Run with it and never look back!  Don't forget that when you take it off at night your wife is contractually obligated to play this slide whistle sound effect that we've installed on her phone.  You're also obligated to tip it like a hat to the crowd if you ever receive a standing ovation."

Judging from the youthful manes of the bejoweled gent behind him, and the 60 going on 16 guy in the middle, I"d say this is part of their corporate culture.

[Kyrie Eleison 9312]

This photo is from an article about T-Mobile's merger needing Trump's approval and a ridiculous amount of money spent by T-Mobile execs in Trump's hotel.  But the guy's hair on the far left interests me more.  How does that happen?  Did someone say "okay, tape it on there and let me have a look.  Excellent.  That looks great.  Run with it and never look back!  Don't forget that when you take it off at night your wife is contractually obligated to play this slide whistle sound effect that we've installed on her phone.  You're also obligated to tip it like a hat to the crowd if you ever receive a standing ovation."

[Chooky 13291]

2 minutes ago, Chad Fuck said:

Judging from the youthful manes of the bejoweled gent behind him, and the 60 going on 16 guy in the middle, I"d say this is part of their corporate culture.

You're not moving up in that company unless you have a hat of hair that sits on top of another patch of hair.  "Steve's numbers are great but he'll never make it to the top here with that balding pate.  He has been warned TWICE to get a hideous rodent pelt hat and he refused.  He'll never be one of us."

[wildcat09 29144]

37 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

Signed,

Definitely a Very Centrist Guy and Not a Right-Wing Hack at All

Don't be mean or you might just drive Mr. Bothsides to vote Republican.

[Gardner Barnes 1561]

4 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

I gotta say; I'm confused.  
What is there to "finalizing details" for a physical?  I mean, you schedule one, go to the doctor, and he/she performs one?  
Am I missing something here?
I do understand that as a President, there's some juggling of schedules, etc to getting a physical.  But that would be for a normal presidency.  This court jester has hours each day of.....nothing.  Plus, he is the President.  If he wanted a physical at 6 am tomorrow, well, he could get it then.
 

 

 

@ChiTownDoc would he be on an IV treatment protocol for any of these?

Some kind of slow growth cancer like prostate that doesn’t show side effects typical of chemo?

Dementia?

Arthritis?
 

 

 

Edited January 16, 2019 by Gardner Barnes

[Chooky 13291]

[HenryJames 65817]

16 minutes ago, Chooky said:

You're not moving up in that company unless you have a hat of hair that sits on top of another patch of hair.  "Steve's numbers are great but he'll never make it to the top here with that balding pate.  He has been warned TWICE to get a hideous rodent pelt hat and he refused.  He'll never be one of us."

I think he's just wearing a merkin wrong.

[Blotto 23366]

15 minutes ago, Gardner Barnes said:

 

 

@ChiTownDoc would he be on an IV treatment protocol for any of these?

Some kind of slow growth cancer like prostate that doesn’t show side effects typical of chemo?

Dementia?

Arthritis?
 

 

 

It's a Brawndo port. It's got electrolytes.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11771]

17 minutes ago, Gardner Barnes said:

 

 

@ChiTownDoc would he be on an IV treatment protocol for any of these?

Some kind of slow growth cancer like prostate that doesn’t show side effects typical of chemo?

Dementia?

Arthritis?
 

 

 

Mainlining special sauce leftover from the exquisite feast the other night.

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

1 hour ago, texastough said:

“Close to 100% Successful”*

 

* at enclosing reindeer 

 

I don't know much about reindeer, but fences designed to keep out (or in) mule deer don't work worth a shit, especially during the rutting season.

 

 

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

They are completely irony-deaf. They think any attempt made by a conservative to be funny is by definition funny. If the attempt is against liberals, it's hilarious.

I will give credit where it's due. In the 80s, the sticker appeared on campus stating

Vote GOP, it's easier than thinking.

The answer was

Vote Democrat, it's easier than working.

Nice exchange. Been pretty much a conservative wit desert since then.

A separate thread could probably be devoted to the subject. Different types of conservatives are unfunny in different ways. The humor of social conservatives generally manifests in racist or bigoted jokes against the perceived "other" and rooted in Ignorance -> Fear -> Intolerance -> Hate. "It's funny because it's true" doesn't describe this humor because their jokes are based on mistaken beliefs. They're usually religious and afraid of anything that might seem to question their ideology. 

The filthy rich conservatives are more rigid and stodgy, uptight, and aren't about to question the status quo, let alone poke fun at it. Questioning authority isn't something those in authority are generally good at doing. They're the subject of satire, not the authors of it. 

Both groups seem incapable of laughing at themselves. They tend to take things, and themselves, way too seriously. I don't know exactly what it is but it seems to me that good comedy reveals universal truth that everyone can understand, and isn't afraid to challenge accepted norms. Those aren't really hallmarks of conservative thought. 

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

Speaking of fences, Australia spent millions years ago trying to build rabbit proof fences to stop the spread of rabbits and a virus they were carrying. Anybody want to guess how successful that "call it a fence, call it it a wall, call it peaches if you want" barrier was?

[hayden_horn 11352]

Just now, WhatTheBuck said:

A separate thread could probably be devoted to the subject. Different types of conservatives are unfunny in different ways. The humor of social conservatives generally manifests in racist or bigoted jokes against the perceived "other" and rooted in Ignorance -> Fear -> Intolerance -> Hate. "It's funny because it's true" doesn't describe this humor because their jokes are based on mistaken beliefs. They're usually religious and afraid of anything that might seem to question their ideology. 

The filthy rich conservatives are more rigid and stodgy, uptight, and aren't about to question the status quo, let alone poke fun at it. Questioning authority isn't something those in authority are generally good at doing. They're the subject of satire, not the authors of it. 

Both groups seem incapable of laughing at themselves. They tend to take things, and themselves, way too seriously. I don't know exactly what it is but it seems to me that good comedy reveals universal truth that everyone can understand, and isn't afraid to challenge accepted norms. Those aren't really hallmarks of conservative thought. 

it's simple: it's because conservatives DON'T want to think outside the box or challenge accepted norms. that's the very heart of conservatism. and it's only calcified with MAGA. there's this idea that the greatness of america was post-wwii era. there was a lot of great things going on then.

for white, conservative america.

the stand up comedians for conservatives all pose as white trash. ron white, jeff foxworthy, larry the fucking cable guy. "blue collar comedy tour." bunch of fake ass rednecks spooning stupid comedy to mouthbreathers. "you maght be a redneck if you come to our comedy show." yuck yuck yuck.

 

[Chooky 13291]

1 minute ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Speaking of fences, Australia spent millions years ago trying to build rabbit proof fences to stop the spread of rabbits and a virus they were carrying. Anybody want to guess how successful that "call it a fence, call it it a wall, call it peaches if you want" barrier was?

The rabbits got through and sold drugs.  And they raped.

[DDD Dad 14140]

Just now, Chooky said:

The rabbits got through and sold drugs.  And they raped.

Some, I assume, were good rabbits.

[hayden_horn 11352]

Just now, Chooky said:

The rabbits got through and sold drugs.  And they raped.

[ChiTownDoc 21049]

30 minutes ago, Gardner Barnes said:

 

 

@ChiTownDoc would he be on an IV treatment protocol for any of these?

Some kind of slow growth cancer like prostate that doesn’t show side effects typical of chemo?

Dementia?

Arthritis?
 

 

 

Hell you could need an IV or blood draw for anything.  Not sure why they didn’t just say that band aid was from a blood draw which he needs for his upcoming physical?  

‘They’re idiots’ is my guess for everything.  

 

[Brisketexan 104217]

3 minutes ago, DDD Dad said:

Some, I assume, were good rabbits.

DDD, this you?

[cactusflinthead 27588]

14 minutes ago, hayden_horn said:

it's simple: it's because conservatives DON'T want to think outside the box or challenge accepted norms. that's the very heart of conservatism. and it's only calcified with MAGA. there's this idea that the greatness of america was post-wwii era. there was a lot of great things going on then.

for white, conservative america.

the stand up comedians for conservatives all pose as white trash. ron white, jeff foxworthy, larry the fucking cable guy. "blue collar comedy tour." bunch of fake ass rednecks spooning stupid comedy to mouthbreathers. "you maght be a redneck if you come to our comedy show." yuck yuck yuck.

 

Trae Crowder would like a word.

 

Edited January 16, 2019 by cactusflinthead

[jw4381 3046]

6 hours ago, RPM said:

"Finalizing details" like he dropped 20 pounds, is the healthiest man on Earth and has Tiger blood. No syphilis. YOU'RE THE SYPHILIS!

They have to figure out how to get his balls back from Putin so he can turn his head and cough. 

[Anastasis 23316]

48 minutes ago, wildcat09 said:

Don't be mean or you might just drive Mr. Bothsides to vote Republican.

[Mo Horn 8776]

Yea, no way he postpones. Especially now that she asked him to. He needs to keep up his rhetoric about the crisis and need for the wall. 

[yaqdum 182]

1 hour ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

 

rob reiner.  that reminds me of an exchange with mil ages ago wherein she posited that there was nothing funny about archie bunker.  she allowed as how she agreed with everything he says before he says it.

at one point i was driving the fam somewhere and we came upon a fork in the road.  a large black man was walking up the sidewalk to our left.  my mil saw the upcoming fork and said 'bear to the left.'  care to guess my response?  hint:  the car was stony silent for a while.