Jump to content

Gettin Laid: 2019

SquishMitten

By SquishMitten
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

NWBuck

NWBuck 8571

Posted
Posted
On 2/7/2019 at 12:15 PM, NWBuck said:

2019?

Hell, I'm still waiting on 2018 (and a good portion of 2017 as well)

Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 

Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 462
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

immortal13
immortal13
Underdog
Underdog

Did your dad take you out to buy your favorite toy so that you wouldn’t tell mom? 

immortal13
immortal13
CHIEF

CHIEF 5094

Posted
Posted

Well Mrs. CHIEF had me leave our cock blocking weiner dog in the living room last night, so I knew something was up. One of about a half dozen times in the last 26 years she has been the initiator. Banged her like a screen door in a hurricane.

CHIEF

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hate

Hate 20116

Posted
Posted
Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 
Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives


Am I reading this correctly? You haven’t been laid in almost 2 years? Have you sought professional help? Serious question.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NWBuck

NWBuck 8571

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

serious question...have you tried to get laid?

Yup- And if my wife finds out, I'll get to post in the Divorce Stuff thread.

Thanks for checking in, folks- wife is an amazing partner, great mom, and patient as hell with me. She's also got stuff in her personal history that have always impacted her ability to manifest physical intimacy (won't share more, and no pics in spite of the rules). I love her and feel loved by her very deeply.

(and no, she's not watching me type this as we speak).

Here's to 2020!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt

DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, NWBuck said:

Yup- And if my wife finds out, I'll get to post in the Divorce Stuff thread.

Thanks for checking in, folks- wife is an amazing partner, great mom, and patient as hell with me. She's also got stuff in her personal history that have always impacted her ability to manifest physical intimacy (won't share more, and no pics in spite of the rules). I love her and feel loved by her very deeply.

(and no, she's not watching me type this as we speak).

Here's to 2020!

damn. that's tough to read. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted

Had a good year given the circumstances.  Boned 10 new girls (some a few times or a ton of times) and only one was a pro.  Used 1 condom.  Got 1 restraining order.  Got no kids or STDs.  For a move and staying single for 8 months I'll take it.  Even had some variety with a crossfit girl that could snap me off, a real nasty woman, two over the age of 40, and one that smelled like patchouli.

2020 is going to be better.

  • Like 6
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Underdog

Underdog 28723

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

Had a good year given the circumstances.  Boned 10 new girls (some a few times or a ton of times) and only one was a pro.  Used 1 condom.  Got 1 restraining order.  Got no kids or STDs.  For a move and staying single for 8 months I'll take it.  Even had some variety with a crossfit girl that could snap me off, a real nasty woman, two over the age of 40, and one that smelled like patchouli.

2020 is going to be better.

LOL. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ABSR

ABSR 5319

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

Had a good year given the circumstances.  Boned 10 new girls (some a few times or a ton of times) and only one was a pro.  Used 1 condom.  Got 1 restraining order.  Got no kids or STDs.  For a move and staying single for 8 months I'll take it.  Even had some variety with a crossfit girl that could snap me off, a real nasty woman, two over the age of 40, and one that smelled like patchouli.

2020 is going to be better.

“Got” as in had to get, or “Got” as in you were served?  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted

I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18837

Posted
Posted
49 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".

one of the worst 'Dear Penthouse Forum' letters ever  

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Homesickhorn

Homesickhorn 2202

Posted
Posted
I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".

Bitches be cray.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Stunns38

Stunns38 3536

Posted
Posted
I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".


Sounds like an Okie part-feather, no racist but they cray.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25110

Posted
Posted

Got a text from neighbor I banged a couole weeks ago at 2 am new years morning. Thinking theres only one reason she is contacting me, i stumble mu drunk ass over.

We start getting to business then she stops and starts running her yapper about not wanting to be a fuck buddy or some shit.

So stealing one of Amos's lines from The Expanse: "Sooo are we still fucking?"

Her: yea

Me: Cool

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5212

Posted
Posted
On 1/2/2020 at 1:13 PM, MissingInAction said:

Got a text from neighbor I banged a couole weeks ago at 2 am new years morning. Thinking theres only one reason she is contacting me, i stumble mu drunk ass over.

We start getting to business then she stops and starts running her yapper about not wanting to be a fuck buddy or some shit.

So stealing one of Amos's lines from The Expanse: "Sooo are we still fucking?"

Her: yea

Me: Cool

They always say that shit until you get married to em.  Then its' just

Her:  No

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jhawk

Jhawk 1075

Posted
Posted

Chalk another one up for the good guys.

Met this woman at a steakhouse in Tulsa on thanksgiving.  She just casually gave me her number before I left the bar area to head home after gorging on some prime.  Didn't really think anything of it after texting her that it was nice to meet her later in the night.  Head to the same steakhouse Friday for a drink after work and she approaches me to say hello.  I introduce her to my business partner and think nothing of it.

Last night I'm having dinner and drinks at a steakhouse right next to my place.  Apparently she lives across the street and she ended up walking in about 10 minutes after I did.  She sat next to me and we had a couple of bottles of wine.  Then she just walked to my place with me.  My back looks like I was attacked by a cheetah.  I tore that shit up.  Then this morning she wakes me up with "my pussy is sore but I want you to cum inside me... do you have any lube?  I busted a verrrry tiny nut inside her firm ass.  Was awesome.  Also... I didn't wear a connie because I didn't need to.  She had already gone through menopause.

That's 3 in 8 days for those keeping score at home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25978

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

Chalk another one up for the good guys.

Met this woman at a steakhouse in Tulsa on thanksgiving.  She just casually gave me her number before I left the bar area to head home after gorging on some prime.  Didn't really think anything of it after texting her that it was nice to meet her later in the night.  Head to the same steakhouse Friday for a drink after work and she approaches me to say hello.  I introduce her to my business partner and think nothing of it.

Last night I'm having dinner and drinks at a steakhouse right next to my place.  Apparently she lives across the street and she ended up walking in about 10 minutes after I did.  She sat next to me and we had a couple of bottles of wine.  Then she just walked to my place with me.  My back looks like I was attacked by a cheetah.  I tore that shit up.  Then this morning she wakes me up with "my pussy is sore but I want you to cum inside me... do you have any lube?  I busted a verrrry tiny nut inside her firm ass.  Was awesome.  Also... I didn't wear a connie because I didn't need to.  She had already gone through menopause.

That's 3 in 8 days for those keeping score at home.

did you fuck that ass in a time machine?  If not, you're in the wrong thread.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...